Quick notes on Egypt and the Yemen War..

Given their very nature and usually brutal consequences, it’s hard to find the silver-lining in any war or regional conflict. The new war in Yemen is no different: a humanitarian crisis will ensue, humans will die and be regarded as collateral damage, and there is really no real strategy or endgame that can be achieved there without a long and arduous boots-on-the-ground campaign. So, yeah, the Yemenis are going to continue being screwed by this war (which realistically didn’t start last week at all) no matter the outcome. There is no silver-lining for them. The same can’t be said regarding Egypt in my opinion. For me there are two positive developments that this war is forcing, even though I will be probably the only one seeing it this way.

1) This war ended Egypt’s continued contribution to the middle-east’s regional disintegration: There was an implicit understanding between the gulf and Egypt since june 30th; The gulf will aid Egypt economically and get it on its feet, in exchange for Egypt supporting the gulf militarily when it needs to. It’s a deal that should make sense on every level for the current government for two reasons: 1) It allows the government to delay the local implosion that the economic realities of our country predict its inevitability, and 2) It allows the military regime the chance to finance the upgrading of its weaponry and capabilities with the gulfies footing the bill with their “money like rice” budgets. The gulf has honoured its part of the deal thus far, and Egypt- with the exception of some rhetorical support here and there- really hasn’t. Why? Three main reasons:

i. The Egyptian military’s knows its place: By their very nature, the Egyptian military isn’t really comfortable with attempting to extend their forces outside of Egypt’s border. The History of the Nasser-era has shown that they suck at imperialism (all of their attempts for regional hegemony or over extending their power- Yemen, Palestine, Syria- has ended up in humiliating defeats and embarrassments), so they have grown content with controlling Egypt and only Egypt. Given Egypt’s instability, in their minds a soldier on the ground in Egypt doing nothing is better than a soldier fighting ISIS in either Iraq or Libya, even if they can afford to send him there without endangering their grip on the country. If it weren’t for that mentality, Egypt would’ve had half of its military in Libya “safe-guarding democracy” and resolving their energy crisis by getting paid in free-libyan oil.

ii. Upgrading capabilities forces the need for reforming the way the military operates: And this is a real problem. The Egyptian military boasts the fact that it’s the only real functioning institution in the Egyptian state, but knows that any real assessment will showcase that they also suffer to various degrees from the same ailments that plague the rest of egypt’s institutions: corruption, bloated-ness, inefficiency and outdated-ness. Any capabilities upgrade that isn’t merely about stockpiling new weapons in storage would require reforming the way the military operates to turn it into the modern efficient military that its allies need it to be. This means stirring a hornets nest in a very conservative institution that has always been resistant to change, and will have reverberations into the civilian actual state as well, since the military doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Despite the necessity of such reform, the military and the state are neither ready nor willing to start the process any time soon, which makes them unfit to carry on their part of the deal. This war and the subsequent conflicts will force their hand on this issue.

iii. The Egyptian regime over-estimates its intelligence: The Egyptian regime knows that Egypt is too important for the gulf to allow it to fail, and thinks it can get what it wants from the gulf without paying any real price or making the necessary sacrifices. It also uses the outdated 60’s handbook of international diplomacy- as evident by planning of the Putin visit, which they aimed to use to play off the US and failed because of reality- which is no longer the way the world operates (No one in the gulf is amused by the Putin visit or Sisi’s support of bashar). The Gulf’s response: we won’t let you fall, but we don’t need to get you up on your feet either, which is truly the message that the government received by the results of the economic conference.

All of these factors contributed to a doom scenario of regional disintegration where the local powers can’t resolve their issues to handle the region’s problem: a crisis would happen, and the gulf sans Qatar would be taking a position, and Qatar taking a second position, and Egypt taking a third position, and Morocco a fourth, and no one works together, giving international powers the pretext to step-in eventually, and weaken the regional powers’ influence. This scenario was just pre-empted by having Saudi launch this war. It was the region’s- and Egypt’s- “shit or get off the pot” moment and it empowered the gulf powers to lead the agenda openly according to their timetable. They would’ve probably much rather it was done with Egypt fronting this action, to bolster its image as the “regional leader” and continue the whole “as Egypt goes, so does the region” narrative instead of having it look like a supporting actor who wasn’t even involved in the initial strike, but they needed to act- for the lack of a better work-  in a “decisive” manner and they did. This is not to say that they launched this war to get Egypt to stop “pussy-footing”, but it doesn’t hurt matters on that front either.

2) This War has highlighted just how outdated Egypt’s intelligentsia truly is: Egypt has a seriously misinformed public thanks to its official intelligentsia, which still spouts opinion and analysis that do not reflect the times we live in or Egypt’s geopolitical reality, because they too are relics from the 60’s and refuse to acknowledge that Egypt has a really excellent relationship with Israel, needs the US on its side and being friendly to Putin will realistically get it nowhere. Their simplistic narrative of conspiracies and having a foreign policy that closely resembles the actions of a teenage girl throwing tantrums instead of playing real-politik has been decimated by the complexities of the alliance in this strike.

How can they explain to their audience that Egypt is on the same side as the US, Qatar and Turkey, after the piles of Bullshit -that in no way reflects reality- that they have been spewing for months if not decades? How will they explain that in the real world countries shape policy solely upon interests and that there is no place for acting based upon dignity and emotions in international diplomacy? That, for example, Prince Tamim of Qatar is young and will stay in power for decades, and that for the sake of the region’s interest Egypt will have to reconcile publically with him sooner or later? Or that thumping our noses in the face of the US publically is ill-advised because Egypt can not really afford to lose its “strategic ally” privileges in the condition it is in? That you can disagree vehemently and even clash on issue, but you always have to maintain the guise of international friendship and cooperation because of…let’s say it all together…YOUR INTERNATIONAL AND STRATEGIC INTERESTS? Dear reader, can you believe that this is a new concept for the Egyptian intelligentsia and that no one mentions this or advocates it in our media? And that it’s 2015?

Look, am not happy that my Country is being pressured by external forces to do things it doesn’t want to do, especially going to War; no one who loves his country wants that. However, I do want to see Egypt address its state’s need for reform, to honour its agreements and to conduct its international affairs with maturity instead of empty grand-standing, which is all happening or will happen thanks to the clusterfrak called Yemen. It might be a stretch giving the price and implications that this war will have, but that’s way it’s called a silver-lining: it’s a semi-bright spot in an otherwise pile of really dark shit. That’s all.

The EEDC and Obstructionism


As the events of the Egyptian Economic Development Conference have come to a close, with over 1700 investors’ attending and $50 billion dollars of aid, investments and pledges made to Egypt, it’s time to take stock of what it all means to Egypt, both domestically and internationally. While many of you outside of Egypt might not have heard of the conference or even wonder about the significance of an economic conference to begin with, the view from inside Egypt could not be more different. For the majority of the Egyptian public, this was the most important event of 2015: It was Egypt’s coming out party; the social ball of the season, with the Egyptian government playing the role of the sole debutante.

The reception of the conference by the Egyptian public has been nothing short of positive, with the local media covering every detail and social media timelines positively buzzing with conversations on its organization, execution and the positive sentiments its attendees expressed regarding the future of the country. The amount of goodwill it generated towards the Sisi government could not be overstated, especially in contrast to the litany of news about daily bombings, austerity measures- both enacted and proposed- and horrifying deaths caused by ISIS or ISIS affiliates, the notorious Egyptian ministry of Interior, or incompetency and pure negligence. With the government hyping up the conference for the past few months as Egypt’s main chance of survival amidst a regional sea of chaos, its success in terms of drawing international figures, lack of organizational hick-ups and the absence of “security incidences” has made it nothing short of a triumph in the eyes of the Egyptian middle-class. For the first time in ages, Egypt looked- for a lack of a better word- shiny.

As far as Sisi and his government are concerned, this conference was a much-needed kiss of life. After a year filled with subsidy cuts, rising prices, embarrassing security leaks, and well-documented horrifying cases of human rights abuses both on the hands of the police and the judiciary, the government’s desperately needed an “achievement” to show the people. Sisi, on the other hand, needed to showcase that he had the international legitimacy that all of his previous predecessors’ – including Morsi and Mubarak-enjoyed. This event’s success would mark the end of Egypt’s international isolation since June 30, one that his critics attribute solely to his decision to run for office after deposing previous Islamist President Mohamed Morsi. By drawing in Western diplomats, MNC’s and heads of state, Sisi can finally silence his critics and showcase his ability to bring Egypt back into the international fold and bring in much needed foreign investments. It doesn’t matter that none of this would’ve happened if his regime wasn’t backed by Saudi Arabia and the UAE, who have certainly helped bring in the international business community; in the end, it’s Sisi who ended up getting all the credit. The Irony here is that, if you speak to the people involved in organizing the conference, it all almost fell apart thanks to Sisi’s government, specifically the Ministry of International Cooperation.

The story goes as follows: The EECD is officially the show of the Egyptian ministry of Investments, who worked closely with many in the Egyptian private sector and international consultants, to ensure that it all came out perfect, with the Emiratis footing the bill. However, in compliance to Egyptian bureaucracy, the UAE couldn’t pay them directly, so they have to send the money through the ministry of International cooperation, which is responsible for receiving all international aid and is supposed to act as a funnel for the money, and nothing more. However, anyone who works in civil society in Egypt knows that the MIC resents being simply a conduit between foreign donors and local partners, especially those who they had no influence in choosing or approving. So in order to gain influence, the Ministry of International cooperation end up doing the one thing they are not supposed to do: they obstruct.

The MIC either outright refuses to release the money, or delays it as much as humanely possible. Why? Some claim that they do so to earn as many interest points as they can on the money going through their bank-accounts, but the reality is that they do this because it gives them leverage and importance, a role if you will. This is their M.O. with all the local NGO’s for the past decade, and they didn’t change it when it came to the EECD’s money. They delayed the payment of the international organizers to the point that they- much to the chagrin of the UAE who had sent the money long ago- threatened to pull the plug on the conference mere weeks of its launch if they don’t get paid. It was then and only then that the MIC finally released the money, preventing the EEDC from becoming an international fiasco and ruining the hard work of everybody involved. To be fair though, the MIC isn’t the only government institution that used obstructionism as method for leverage and power when it came to this conference; the entire Egyptian state – with the exception of the ministry of investment- did in fact.

Foreign Investors have two main problems when it comes to investing in Egypt, and both were not addressed in the new Investment law: 1) The State’s land zoning and allocation: knowing which land in Egypt is allocated to which government body to facilitate the process of buying it, and 2) Being able to get their money or profits out when they chose to. The first problem exists because it would require the military to clearly state which land belongs to them and to allocate the rest to the different ministries and municipalities, which means that the military would have to publically state which land belongs to them, and to give up land under their control, neither of which they want to do. This leaves any potential investor without the proper information necessary to 1) plan his/her investment, whether it was industrial, real estate, touristic, agricultural, mining, i.e. any investment that requires land purchase, and 2) know which governmental body to go to in order to purchase that land they wish to acquire. This naturally limits potential foreign investors from investing in Egypt, which limits the FDI dollars sorely needed in the country to solve problem #2, being able to transfer foreign currency out. Both problems would be resolved if the military cooperated and the state created a clear land allocation map for Egypt, but the military obstructed for the aforementioned reasons, and the country ends up with only a fraction of the investments it sorely needs to jumpstart the economy.

The good news is, much like the MIC and the conference money, the military will eventually be forced to stop its obstructionism and work with the rest of the state to create that map, which would not only benefit foreign investors, but local ones as well. They will do so because they have no choice, and because goodwill and PR can only take you so far before economic realities slap you in the face, and they will sooner than later. The old state needs to learn that having their cake and eating it too will not work for long in a country this hungry, and that instead of using obstructionism to gain influence or retain interests, they might have to also work and compromise in order to get Egypt back on its feet. Egyptians have patiently accommodated painful austerity measures and higher taxes as part of the price to pay to get the country moving; its high-time for the government to do the same.

ثورة دينية و كده


ناس كتيرة “علمانية” جابتهم علي التايملاين لما السيسي إدي خطاب أن الأزهر محتاج “ثورة دينية”، عشان كل واحد فسرها بطريقته.  بس هم كلهم فهموها غلط الصراحة. عاوزين تعرفوا يعني إيه نعمل ثورة دينية بالنسبة للسيسى؟ يبقي أسألو نفسكم با لنسبة للسيسى يعني إيه تعمل ثورة.

عشان تبقي عملت ثورة، يبقي لازم تقبض علي أعداء الثورة، عشان أي ثورة لازم يبقي ليها أعداء، و القبض عليهم ده أثبات و أنجاز في نفس الوقت. زي القبض علي مبارك كده كان أثبات و أنجاز ثورة يناير كده. و القبض علي الأخوان أثبات و أنجاز تلاتين يونيو.

طب مين أعداء الثورة الدينية اللي حيتقبض عليهم؟ يووه..كتير. أي حد مش عاجبهم كلامه و حركاته أو يتعارض مع ثورة الاسلام الوسطي الجميل. يعني ناس في الأزهر مش تبعهم أو ميالين للأخوان ماشي، سلفيين ماشي، شباب في جامعة الأزهر ماشي. تمام كده معاك أخي العلماني؟ طب بس ماتنساش أنها ثورة دينية بتدافع عن نفسها ضد كل أعداء الاسلام الوسطي الجميل، يعني برضه نقبض علي بهائيين ماشي، شيعة ماشي، ملحدين ماشي و علمانين ماشي. إيوا طبعا. أحنا حنهرج؟ أمال حنسيبهم كده كأن ثورة لم تقم؟ أحنا بندافع عن الاسلام الوسطي الجميل ضد كل أعدائه من المتطرفين، و دول طبعا طالما مش بيتبعوه يبقوا أساسي من أعدائه و لازم يتقبض عليهم فورا. أمال يعني أحنا عملنا ثورة ليه؟

Cheating Reality

When people ask me why i’ve stopped writing regularly, my response is usually “what is there to write about?”. Their universal response is usually giving me this sympathetic smile and say something akin to “I can’t blame you. It’s becoming too dangerous”, and then they change the subject as if attempting to evade a topic of embarrassment to me. I allow them to do this, to have them assume that my silence is out of cowardice, because it’s the easiest and fastest way to end the conversation. The truth is I wish I had the wisdom to not write due to self-preservation, but this is not the case. I’ve stopped writing simply because writing about Egypt these days is like writing another round-up of this week’s most unfortunate events: It’s boring. It’s like tweeting from the Titanic. How many times can you possibly say “we are sinking. This is not going well. #saveus #thebandiskillingitthough” before it just becomes spam? Somehow talking that you are still alive but not in optimal condition when so many around you are dying just seems like bad form. Whining is so 2013 anyway..

Many have taken not keeping up with the news as their defence mechanism against depression, but I am the total opposite. Our insane news keeps me sane and happy due to my love of everything absurd. Reading Egyptian news is like watching an entire channel of the “Daily show with John stewart” that just writes itself. Discussing the news with others becomes a sociological study about mass denial, no matter what their ideological inclinations may be. Between Revolutionaries who see the end of Sisi looming on the horizon and Egypt turning into Syria any minute now, and Sisi supporters who see nothing but a road to prosperity and stability for years to come, I find myself contemplating the scope of generational cousin-fucking their families must’ve engaged in to produce a population that is so mentally…ehh..limited. We are after all the people who build on farmland and then complain that we don’t have enough water to farm in the desert, so someone has definitely pissed in our gene pool.

Given that its been almost 2 weeks on this blog’s 10th year anniversary, I find myself uncharacteristically laconic. So allow me to give you some short-takes of what’s to come, because who needs another long rant anyway?

1) Stop whining about our judiciary: No one in Egypt actually wants rule of law. We are the land of do-as-you-please because everything is negotiable and based on sentiment. That’s all.

2) It’s been said that the only way for Morsy to leave power is through spilling blood. Ironically, that’s the only way Sisi will be able to keep his. Jails and cemeteries are about to become growth industries around here. Invest in that.

3) Our next parliamentary elections will have political factions competing on who supports our President more, so you can imagine how high the stakes are this time around.

4) Egyptians are far too lazy a population to engage in a civil war, so don’t worry too much about our stability. Chaos is kind of our thing, anyway.

5) The entire country doesn’t suffer from PTSD as one recent article has suggested, because that would mean we are in the post-trauma phase. We suffer from CTSD: Continuous Traumatic Stress Disorder. We long for PTSD. Would be nice.

6) The region is in a state of war, and Egypt is an integral part of this war, and the world wants Egypt in this war, so its government has a global get-out-of-jail card regarding anything it wants to do internally. Too bad Egypt won’t fight this war. :)

7) The only way for this economy to pick up is if we, as a nation, managed to cheat reality, and we seem to be- for some strange reason- very confident in our ability to do so. I guess Oscar Wilde wasn’t wrong when he said that the basis of optimism is sheer terror.

That is all. Have a belated happy new year! 😀

4 common Misconceptions Egyptians have

It’s the golden age of rumors and misconceptions in Egypt these days, especially with the lack of credible “unbiased” news channels or sources for information. Add that to the nationalistic wave in the country, misconceptions do not only get viewed as fact, it actually leads to bad planning, policy and actions. Very few people will attempt to clear those misconceptions now without risking to antagonizing others, but it is a risk I am willing to take, because I cannot take having the same discussions over and over. Let’s go:


  1. The US is not against June 30

There is a strong held belief in Egypt that the US is against the June 30th alliance and government, and is waging war against it for the sake of MB. Egyptians perceive US discussion about cutting military aid as an aggressive gesture and are meeting it with extreme hostility usually reserved to slave owners by their freed slaves (It’s that level of intensity). They are complaining daily that the US is against them and supports the terrorism of the MB, and Egyptian social media has made mocking & insulting President Obama a national past time. Despite me being for any mockery of Obama, the reality is that the US is not against June 30th at all.

Here is what the US cares about: for Egypt to be run by a ruler that can stabilize it, and will form a government that makes their relationship look good. The very contradictory reactions the US regarding Egypt comes from two reasons 1.) The lack of any real foreign policy regarding Egypt and the Arab spring for that matter, and 2.) The legal conundrum they are facing now because of us. US law dictates when a military removes a democratically elected leader that is considered a coup, and any aid going its way must be stopped. In reflection of the facts, yes, the military did technically remove Morsi and is now holding him in a location even we, the people who revolted against him, do not know (you do not have him held captive in your basement, do you?), so the situation is meeting the legal definition.

The US administration, which is required to uphold its laws, has no actual choice but to cut the aid, and in order to avoid doing so, it has done impressive political gymnastics in order not to call it that. Watching the new and impressive ways they use to avoid using the “C” word in its statements and press conferences has become my latest guilty pleasure. My favorite moment was when in a recent press conference, a State department spokesperson’s reply to the question if the US has determined whether or not what happened in Egypt is a coup was, “we have determined we don’t need to make a determination.” Read that sentence again. Admire its beauty. It’s glorious.

Even after the violent disbursement of Rabaa and the clashes that day with Morsi/MB supporters and its death toll, which surpasses the daily death toll in a country like Syria at its worse day, the US still refuses to use the C word or cut the aid. The only thing they have been doing is push for a political solution to the problem, which would have to involve a reconciliation or truce deal with the MB, because it doesn’t want instability and would like us to help make the U.S. relationship with our country continue to make them look good or not embarrass them, which a)we are not doing at all and b) doesn’t seem to be one of our priorities, and the worst thing they came up with as a response was to cancel a joint military exercise. What’s worse is that they are bending over backwards for Egypt, despite facing media and political scrutiny for it, and they are not getting any leverage or credit for it. The friction we are seeing are simply the byproduct of a renegotiation of the terms of the special relationship Egypt has with the US, and the Egyptian government is initiating it. It’s that simple.


  1. There is no Giant global conspiracy against us

There really isn’t a global conspiracy against us; Europe is concerned because of the death and the overthrow and jailing of a “democratically elected” President, but they will not move beyond being concerned. Even in the UN Security Council’s special session on Egypt, the statement admitted that both sides of the conflict (i.e. government and MB) are using violence and called for mutual de-escalation. This means the UN is not buying the “peaceful warriors for democracy” narrative that the MB is producing, but also cannot condone the almost 700 dead in one day of conflict either, because it is a horrifying and indefensible number, so they went the route of balance. They are not happy with the high death toll and they will not condone it forever, which is important if you would like their tourists back, and you should: your economy needs it.

That being said, Turkey and Qatar are truly against us, so is any and every branch of the MB the world over, so you are not being completely paranoid here. I also hear that Iran and the Taliban are not pleased with us either. It is ok though, I think we can afford that.


  1. The International media isn’t in the MB’s pockets

Egyptian social media is filled with posts, pictures and videos that either a) hate the biased international coverage, or b) is comprised of videos or images with a message that we share this in order to “show the international media” the truth. The reason? The perception that international opinion provides excessive support for the MB, which develops at times to the belief that the international media is in the MB’s pockets. Their proof? The lack of coverage of the MB’s violent acts and that they are portrayed as peaceful protesters getting killed by the state. “Why is no one supporting us?” They protest, in complete denial that this is primarily their own fault. Oh yes. It’s true.

You see, in order for the international media to showcase your side of the story, you actually have to have a side of the story. Your new state needs to have a solid case why it overthrew the old one, which , fyi, is not being made in anywhere. For example local media, instead of doing pieces that document and explain why the population revolted against Morsi and his rule, is instead going with a simplistic narrative of nationalism vs. terrorism, and doing a remarkable job sensationalizing it. If they have zero intentions of being unbiased, which seems to be the case, they should try to explain and set in stone why the MB rule was undemocratic and criminal. It is not hard: An investigative piece on all the people arrested/killed/maimed by the police or MB during the Morsi reign, a 5 minutes video showcasing the attacks on Christians or the disdain for religion cases, a report on every single journalist or media personality that got persecuted by the Morsi presidency or their supporters, a short documentary stating all of the violations and crimes that the Morsi regimes committed, or maybe explaining the perils of theocracy and why we should never ever toy with its idea again. Hell, a simple you tube video explaining how we got here and what are the lessons learned will do at this point, and no one is doing it locally. Imagine what effects it could have on the international level.

To make matters worse, we are naturally engaging in our favorite national pastime of xenophobia, and are therefore becoming increasingly hostile to foreign journalists, who by the way are getting harassed, beaten and killed while doing their job. And naturally they find that the safest place for them to operate is within the marches of the pro Morsi protesters, because they actually want them to tell their side of the story, and are not projecting their own feelings of disappointment or anger towards them, like the June 30 crowd does. Also, foreign media journalists are more likely to cover protests in Cairo than cover what’s going on in the governorates, where Morsi supporters crimes are apparent, so all they see is clashes with protesters, from the side of the MB, and this is what they report.

Here is how you can remedy this: 1) Make your case clear, and it cannot simply be the MB are terrorists or criminals- detailed concise arguments would be nice, 2) Utilize every chance you get to make the case, and don’t waste an opportunity to do so. The Mostafa Hegazy presser today was a perfect example of a wasted opportunity, where he had all the media’s attention, and instead of making the case against the MB using videos, images, details, names and facts, he opted for generalized narrative. The man is an excellent speaker and handedly survived a very hostile press conference, but he should ‘have made the case and provided proof. Someone has to.

Finally, 3) BE NICE TO FOREIGN JOURNALISTS. If you keep attacking or insulting them, they have every incentive to not listen to you. Stop your xenophobia and embrace them as people who are simply trying to do their job in a very dangerous situation, instead of being part of the danger against them. If the people won’t do it, then the state should. Why aren’t foreign journalists being embedded with security forces during dangerous situation? This way they can finally tell if a) the police started the attack or the Morsi supporters and b) if the other side is armed, because it will be shooting in their direction. Simple things, really, but they will make a difference. It ‘is a war of narrative, and the MB are helping the narrative writers in every way they can, and you are either insulting them, demonizing them or attacking them. Not very smart, no?


  1. The War on Terror will not end this way

There is a reason why everyone is wary of the “war on terror” narrative, for a very simple reason: Wars on concepts cannot be called wars, because wars end and wars on terror don’t. You see, wars on concepts or ideas definitely do not end with bullets, they end with a counter idea that exposes or defeats the idea. What is your counter idea to Islamism/MB ideology? Whoever does not agree with you is a traitor and should be killed? Yeah, not a very good one, especially against Islamists, who are generally ok with dying for their beliefs.

So you can go ahead and think you can kill your way out of this conflict, and you may succeed to end all major confrontations with a high body count within the month (and become known as butchers for it).However, sooner rather than later you will start facing incidents that pop up everywhere, with a few dying here in an explosion, and a few dying there in a drive-by shooting, and it will not stop and you will never be safe. It will not always be the MB behind the killings, but rather the family members/friends of the non-MB Morsi supporter who got killed in one of the clashes / jailed for wanting to defend his vote and sees you stealing it and persecuting him for it.

The danger of what ‘is happening is not the MB going underground and starting a terror campaign, but that those supporters or their family members get radicalized to such a degree that he/she will resort to random violence. And in case you haven’t noticed, the MOI , besides being indefensibly ruthless in their actions, it ‘is also not in the best to fight this or provide the minimum semblance of security. Exhibit A) the burnt churches. Exhibit B) the burnt museums. Exhibit C) Their own police stations that they can’t defend and Exhibit D) your neighborhood where you no longer feel secure.

So please, start demanding a clear strategy to manage this conflict and the security situation, and don’t feel ashamed to do so, since this is your life and future we are talking about. Also, if people tell you the strategy is to eradicate them, please remind them that if the MB are only 80,000 people., Not only will it take a genocide to kill them all, you will also have to kill their friends and relatives, which is a whole lot of killing, and that is if we discount that there is the internet, where ideas can live forever. So, while its prudent to face those who use violence against you with violence, it is imperative not to help them recruit or win supporters. While many of the police are engaging in life or death battles and heroics to protect you, many of them act in a criminal manner and we should be able to hold them to account. Your best weapon against the MB is to create the state that they could not create, one of diversity, accountability, human rights, civilian rule and against corruption and nepotism. Only such an idea can one day end this war.

عن البلاغ المقدم ضد محمد مرسي بتهمة اهانة رئيس الجمهورية

توجهت اليوم على غير العادة إلى مكتب النائب لعام لتقديم بلاغ ضد الرئيس محمد مرسي لارتكابه الفعل الفاضح العلني وإهانة رئيس الجمهورية، وقد طالبت في هذا البلاغ بفتح التحقيق مع السيد محمد مرسي لارتكابه هذه الجرائم، وضم البلاغات المقدمة من رئاسة الجمهورية ضد أفراد بعينهم بتهمة إهانة الرئيس لهذا البلاغ. وأعلم جيداً أن البعض قد يسخر من هذا البلاغ، والبعض الآخر قد يرى أن هذا البلاغ أتفه من آن يتم التعامل معه بالجدية الكافية نظراً لوجود مخالفات اكثر جسامة من المفترض أن يتم التحقيق مع رئيس الجمهورية بشأنها مثل التعذيب أمام قصر الاتحادية وانتهاك القضاء. ولكنني أتفهم بالرغم من كل شيء هذه الرؤية، ولهذا قررت كتابة هذا المقال لشرح أسباب تقديم البلاغ والتأكيد على أن طلب التحقيق مع محمد مرسي فيما ارتكبه من مخالفات لا يستدعي السخرية ولا يجب النظر إليه كأمر تافه وغير مهم، الحقيقة ان هذا البلاغ هو رد رمزي للمشكلة الاكبر التي سوف نتطرق لها و التي بسببها تقدمنا بهذا البلاغ ( اهانة مرسي للرئيس مرسي) و الذي يعتبر رمز لشعب مصر و بالتالي اهانة الشعب المصري.

ولكن تفهم أسباب البلاغ تحتاج أولاً لتفهم السياق السياسي الحالي وتوقيت تقديم البلاغ. في الفترة الأخيرة قدمت عدة بلاغات ضد مواطنين من إعلاميين، وصحفيين، وكتاب بتهمة اهانة الرئيس من خلال عرض تصريحاته، وانتقاد لغة خطابه، والتعليق على أداؤه الحركي. ونتيجة لانقضاض رئيس الجمهورية على السلطة القضائية، وقيامه بتعيين نائب عام بطريقة تخالف القوانين والأعراف وتهدر من هيبة القضاء، قام النائب العام المعين بموجب إعلان دستوري يفتقد للشرعية بتشكيل نيابة جديدة تسمى نيابة حماية الثورة، ويكون من اختصاصاتها التحقيق في تهم إهانة رئيس الجمهورية. ومن المنتظر أن تبدأ اليوم محاكمة صحفيو اليوم السابع بتهم إهانة رئيس الجمهورية بعد ثورة قامت من أجل وقف مثل هذه المحاكمات. ومن ثم، فمن يرى أن هذا البلاغ هو نوعاً من العبث، فهو بالضرورة لا يقدر حجم العبث الذي تتعامل به سلطات الدولة الثلاث (تنفيذية، وتشريعية، وقضائية) مع الشعب.

شئنا أم أبينا، محمد مرسي هو الرئيس المنتخب لمصر، وهو يمثل الشعب والثورة والدوله بعد تقلده أرفع المناصب بها. وبالتالي فالرئيس محمد مرسي ملزم بما يحتم عليه منصبه من واجبات. وبما أن رئيس الجمهورية منصب عام يمثل ملايين من شعب مصر، فمحمد مرسي مسئولاً على الحفاظ على هيبة هذا الشعب وهيبة المنصب الذي يمثله. فمن المتعارف عليه سياسياً أن الشخصية العامة تكون هناك قيود على تصرفاتها وتصريحاتها، فما يسمح به للشعوب لا يسمح به بالضرورة للرؤساء. ولكن ما فعله محمد مرسي أمام رئيسة وزراء أستراليا لم يراعي فيه الحفاظ على هيبة هذا الشعب وعلى الآداب العامة التي اتفق هذا الشعب على احترامها. وبالرغم من أن ما فعله محمد مرسي من ملامسة لأجزاء حساسة في جسده علناً هو فعل يقوم به البعض في مصر، إلا أن هذا لا يجعله فعلاً مقبولاً من رئيس جمهورية، كما أن استخدام محمد مرسي لمصطلحات قد تحمل إيحاءات جنسية مثل “يعملوا حاجة غلط في حارة مزنوقة” لا يليق بخطاب وهيبة رئيس جمهورية. فكيف يمكن أن تعلم ابنك أن لمس هذه المناطق من جسده علناً مرفوض إذا كان رئيس الجمهورية يفعل ذلك على الهواء بكل أريحية؟ وكيف يمكن لأسرة مصرية عادية تحرص على الآداب العامة أن تشاهد خطاباً لرئيس مصر دون أن تصدم من استخدام الرئيس عبارات خادشة للحياء، اترضاه لأسرتك؟

ويستوقفنا في تهم إهانة الرئيس الموجهة من الرئاسة ضد أشخاص بعينهم، أن هؤلاء الأشخاص لم يقوموا بفعل ما هو أكثر من عرض تصريحات وتسجيلات للرئيس دون المساس بمحتواها. فمن قامت الرئاسة بتقديم بلاغات ضدهم لم يرتكبوا أكثر من عرض ما يفعله مرسي بكامل إرادته، وهو ما يعني أن من يقوم بإهانة محمد مرسي وينال من هيبة رئيس الدولة هو محمد مرسي نفسه. والجدير بالذكر أن ما كان يصدر من الرئيس المخلوع من سقطات إعلامية كان يحدث في لقاءات ودية، وليس في زيارات دولية وخطب رسمية مثلما فعل مرسي ولم يعتذر عنه.

والأخطر من ذلك أن ما يرتكبه مرسي من أخطاء لا يؤثر فقط على هيبة رئيس الجمهورية، بل هو ينال أيضاً من سمعة مصر على المستوى الدولي. ولعل ما ارتكبه مرسي من أفعال كملامسة جسده والتي أدت لموجة من السخرية من رئيس مصر على التليفزيون الأسترالي، أو ما صدر عنه من تصريحات كتشبيه السياسة الدولية بالمكرونة الاسباجتي، أو قوله أن فيلم كوكب القرود من أكثر الأفلام المؤثرة التي شاهدها، ولكن محمد مرسي ذكر مشهداً لم يكن موجوداً بالفيلم في الأساس. وقد ساهمت مثل هذه الأفعال والتصريحات في حصول محمد مرسي على أعلى نسبة رفض في استطلاع مجلة تايم، فقد صوت ٢ مليون شخص ضد اختيار مرسي كشخصية العام، وهي أعلى نسبة رفض في تاريخ هذا الاستفتاء وضعف النسبة التي حصل عليها بشار الأسد الذي يقوم بقتل شعبه يومياً منذ ما يقرب من عامين، أو وجوده ضمن قائمة أسوأ خمس رؤساء في استفتاء مجلة فورين بوليسي. فما ذنب المواطن المصري الذي شعر بالفخر بعد الثورة ورفع رأسه عالياً بين دول العالم لكي يدفع ثمن ما يرتكبه مرسي من اهانات في حقه؟ ما ذنب الثورة؟

وإذا ما نظرنا لكل ما تم ذكره على سبيل المثال وليس الحصر، نستطيع أن نرى المشكلة الحقيقة والتي كانت السبب الرئيسي وراء تقديم هذا البلاغ، وهي ببساطة سوء الأداء. وسوء الأداء هذا لا يقتصر على أداء محمد مرسي كرئيس للجمهورية، ولكنه يمتد لأداء حكومة محمد مرسي، ومستشارين محمد مرسي، والنائب العام الذي جاء به محمد مرسي. فهناك سوء أداء في قرارات محمد مرسي، وبسبب سوء الأداء يقوم القضاء بإلغاء هذه القرارات لعدم قانونيتها، واستكمالاً لسوء الأداء قام مرسي بمحاولة للالتفاف على الضعف القانوني في قراراته من خلال تحصينها بدلاً من تحسينها، ثم يستمر مرسي في الأداء السيئ من خلال تبرير تحصين قراراته لمواجهة مؤامرة يقوم بتدبيرها أربع أشخاص غير معروفين ، فمرسي قرر اللجوء لإعلان دستوري قمعي أدى لانقسام الشعب لمواجهة هذه المؤامرة المزعومة، وكأن مصر قد خلت فجأة من كل الأجهزة الأمنية المناط بها مواجهة هذا النوع من المؤامرات. وهذا السوء في الأداء بدأ الشعب المصري أن يستشعره في إدارة الشئون السياسية والاقتصادية للدولة، ولكن الشعب المصري يواجه الآن حقيقة عدم امكانية الاعتراض أو الاحتجاج أو التظاهر ضد سوء الإدارة دون التعرض لخطر الحبس بموجب قانون حماية الثورة، وبعد كل ذلك يحدثوننا عن هيبة الرئيس!

فالهيبة مثلها مثل الاحترام، تكتسب ولا تعطى أو تؤخذ أو تنتزع بأحكام قضائية أو إعلانات دستورية. نحن أمام رئيس أصر على تمرير دستور يقر دوراً للدولة في الحفاظ على الآداب العامة ثم يقوم بارتكاب أفعال وأقوال تنال من هذه الآداب. نحن أمام رئيس أقسم على احترام القانون ثم ضرب بهذا القانون عرض الحائط. نحن أمام رئيس ندرك جميعاً سوء إدارته للبلاد ولكنه يطالبنا بالرغم من ذلك بعدم الاعتراض حفاظاً على هيبته، فعن أي هيبة تتحدثون؟

من أجل هذه الأسباب قمت بتقديم البلاغ الذي أعلم جيداً أن النائب العام لن يقوم بالتحقيق فيه لأنه لا يحقق في البلاغات المقدمة ضد الرئيس أو أهله وعشيرته، ولكن لكي يكون هناك معنى بناء لما فعلته، سوف اقوم بتقديم بعض النصائح للرئيس محمد مرسي لعله يستمع.

  • –          المجهود المبذول لإفزاع الناس و إقناعهم بعدم إهانة الرئيس بتشكيل نيابة  حماية  الثورة ومحاكمتها للمتظاهرين والمعارضين يُعد إهداراً للمال العام ولن يؤدي إلى استقرار الأوضاع، حيث أن منع أي أو كل وسائل  التعبير عن الرأي في ظل سوء الأداء الحكومي مستحيل عملياً، وسوف يؤدي إلى تطرف وعنف الدولة والشعب في غنى عنهم. الاسهل والأوقع هو تنفيذ الرئيس لواجباته بالشكل الجيد الذي  يحفظ هيبة الرئيس و الرئاسة لأن الاحترام والهيبة تكتسب بالأداء وليس بالبلطجة . من الاخر يعني, امشي عدل يحتار عدوك فيك.
  • اقترح على الرئيس جديا  الالتزام بشهر من التدريب على  الخطابة والبروتوكولات الدبلوماسية وكيفية التعامل مع الإعلام على أيدي ذوي الخبرة في هذا الشأن، ولو لزم الأمر الاستعانة بخبراء ممن ينتمون للنظام البائد فلن تكون هذه مشكلة، فنحن نعرف من تعيينات محمد مرسي أنه لا يمانع أن يعمل معهم.
  • اقترح على الرئيس تغيير طاقم المستشارين القانونيين الذين يعملون معه ويورطونه بسوء أداءهم، واستبدالهم بأهل الخبرة وليس أهل الثقة، فطاقم المستشارين الحالي فشل حتى في إصدار قانون ديكتاتوري (قانون حماية الثورة) يكون خالي من العوار، فارتكبوا أخطاء في الصياغة حين قاموا بذكر أبواب من قانون الإجراءات الجنائية غير موجودة من الأصل في القانون، بل هي منصوص عليها في قانون العقوبات الجنائية غير المذكور في قانون حماية الثورة، ومن لا يعرف الفارق بين قانون الإجراءات الجنائية وقانون العقوبات الجنائية من غير الممكن أن يكون خبيراً قانونياً في المقام الأول.
  • وأخيراً، أطالب الرئيس بالحد من تحدث كل من خيرت الشاطر ومحمد بديع في شئون الدولة، حيث أن ظهورهم المتكرر يؤكد الفكرة المنتشرة أن السيد رئيس جمهورية مصر العربية هو في الحقيقة الرجل الثالث في تنظيم دولي، ويرأسه على الأقل الشخصان المذكوران. فإذا استمر الوضع في المنطقة مضطرباً سياسياً، قد يجد أعضاء القوات المسلحة أنفسهم في حالة حرب تحت قيادة قائد أعلى لا يعرفون إذا كانت قراراته نابعة من المصلحة الوطنية أو من الالتزامات الدولية لجماعة الاخوان المسلمون.

سيادة الرئيس محمد مرسي، أنت رئيس مصر. عليك أن تتفهم معنى ذلك جيداً وتكف عن إهانتنا.

صيغة البلاغ

السيد المستشار / النائب العام

تحية طيبة و بعد,

مقدمه لسيادتكم /

ضد السيد /محمد مرسي و الذي يشغل منصب رئيس الجمهورية
حيث انه فى ظل دستور يعد من مكتسبات الثورة ايدته الاغلبية الجامحة من جموع الشعب المصرى فاصبح وثيقة ثورة الخامس و العشرين من يناير التى وقفت ورائها القوات المسلحة الى أن أنجبت أول رئيس مدنى منتخب و الذى أصدر قانون حماية الثورة ممن يحاول العبث بتلك المكتسبات و الرموز.

نلتمس من سيادتكم
إجراء التحقيق الجنائي في الاتى‏:

اولا: الفعل الفاضح العلنى:‏

انه فى يوم الخميس الموافق 27 سبتمبر 2012 عرض مقطع فيديو –مرفق بالبلاغ- للرئيس محمد مرسي يلمس أجزاء حساسة من جسده خلال لقائه برئيسة الوزراء الاسترالية جوليا جيلارد.

‏ و قد نصت المادة 278 من قانون العقوبات‏ على أنه “كل من فعل علانية فعلا فاضحا مخلا بالحياء يعاقب بالحبس مدة لا تزيد على سنة او بغرامة لا تتجاوز ثلاثمائة جنيه”.

و حيث أنه بقيام السيد الرئيس بذلك السلوك المتضمن عمل مادى أو حركة أو اشارة من شأنها خدش حياء الغير يكون قد توافر الركن المادى للجريمة .

كما ان الفعل الفاضح العلني يتطلب بالإضافة إلى توافر الفعل الفاضح المخل بالحياء توافر عنصرى العلانية والقصد الجنائى, يكفى قانونا لتوافر القصد الجنائى فى جريمة الفعل الفاضح المخل بالحياء أن يكون المتهم عالما بأن فعلته من شأنها أن تخدش الحياء أما عن شرط العلانية فقد أوتي بالفعل اثناء لقاء رسمى تناقلته وكالات الأنباء المحلية و العالمية وصفحات التواصل الاجتماعى.

و حيث أنه لا عبرة بالباعث على الجريمة و أن ما تم عرضه فى ذلك المقطع يتنافى مع ما للمجتمع المصرى من عادات و تقاليد لذلك نلتمس من سيادتكم سرعة اتخاذ اللازم قانونا.

ثانيا اهانة رئيس الجمهورية:

و ذلك من خلال بعض الأفعال و الأقوال و التى من شأنها الإخلال من شأن رئيس الدولة:

حيث صدر عن السيد الرئيس الفعل السابق ذكره و الذى علق عليه مذيع القناة الاسترالية العاشرة

قائلاً: “إنه يبدو وكأنه يحاول أن يثبت نفسه في اللقاء”، على حد قول المذيع.

و حيث استخدم السيد الرئيس عبارات فى خطابات رئاسية تحمل دلالات جنسية مثل قوله: “يروحوا فى حارة مزنوقة علشان يعملوا حاجة غلط” مما يتنافى مع تعاليم ديننا الحنيف و يؤثر سلبا على احترام رئيس الجمهورية.

و حيث انه أدلى لصحف عالمية وللتلفزيون المصرى بتصريحات تمس الرئيس نفسه, تجلى ذلك فيما اعقبها من تعليقات ساخرة بعضها مسىء على صفحات التواصل الاجتماعى و في مقالات و رسوم كاريكاتير مرفق بعضها بالبلاغ .

ذلك و قد اصبحت تصرفات رئيس الجمهورية مثار سخرية الرأى العام و هو ما أقرته ضمنيا مؤسسة الرئاسة فى بلاغاتها المقدمة ضد اشخاص تتهمهم بالمساس برئيس الجمهورية لقيامهم بعرض مقاطع فيديو من خطابات الرئيس نفسه أو استعراض تصريحاته.

 و حيث ان إهانة الرئيس كما عرفها الفقه القانونى هى: كل فعل أو لفظ أو معنى يتضمن المساس بالكرامة أو الشعور أو الإخلال من شأن رئيس الدولة.

‏ و قد نصت المادة 179 من قانون العقوبات‏,‏ علي أنه‏:-

يعاقب بالحبس كل من اهان رئيس الجمهورية بواسطة احدى الطرق المتقدم ذكرها.

لذلك، حيث أن الأفعال السابق ذكرها يعاقب عليها قانون العقوبات وتخالف نص الدستور حيث نصت المادة 11 من الدستور على:-

“ترعى الدولة الأخلاق والاداب والنظام العام والمستوى الرفيع للتربية والقيم الدينية والوطنية والحقائق العلمية والثقافة العربية والتراث التاريخي والحضاري للشعب وذلك وفقا لما يحدده القانون.”

حيث تعد اهانة رئيس الجمهورية من الجرائم التى تختص بها نيابة حماية الثورة حيث تقع ضمن الجرائم المنصوص عليها بالباب الرابع عشر من الكتاب الثاني من قانون العقوبات و قد نصت المادة الرابعة للقانون رقم 96 /2012 أنه “تختص نيابة حماية الثورة أو من يندبه النائب العام أو أعضاء النيابة العامة بالتحقيقات في الجرائم المنصوص عليها في المادة الأولى من القانون وكذلك الجرائم التالية: الباب السابع والثاني عشر والثالث عشر والرابع عشر من الكتاب الثاني…

لذلك نتقدم لسيادتكم بهذا البلاغ ، لطلب:

1- ضم البلاغات المقدمة من مؤسسة الرئاسة ليتم نظرها كوحدة واحدة مع هذا البلاغ.

2- فتح تحقيق عاجل مع السيد: محمد مرسي ، والذي يشغل منصب رئيس الجمهورية لارتكابه الفعل الفاضح العلنى و اهانة رئيس الجمهورية ، لعقابه طبقا للمواد المذكورة ، مع رجاء إفادتنا بما تم في هذا >البلاغ ، باعتبار مقدمى البلاغ أصحاب صفة ومصلحة كمواطنين مصريين يبغون حماية الثورة و يخشون أن تهان رموز الوطن.

وتفضلوا بقبول وافر التقدير و الاحترام.

Happy New Year, Infidels!

“Those who speak of Bankruptcy are the Bankrupt ones”

So Said Morsy to thundering applause in his speech to the newly-appointed-already-Illegal Shura Council, as he laid out his vision on the state of Egyptian economy. I couldn’t suppress my laughter as I watched him say this from a café in Heliopolis, nor could I suppress my falling on the floor holding my belly from laughter as I heard him talk about how great Tourism is doing, and how, for the first time, our debt is only 87% of our GDP. Only.

Morsy is hilarious. It’s an undeniable fact. He is even more hilarious when he gets exposed.

That same day, as if on cue, the Central Bank of Egypt issued a statement stating that the financial situation is, to put it mildly, catastrophic. The Tourism Board heads and Hotel Owners flooded the TV Channels, talking about how low the reservations are, and how they are not expecting any new tourists for another quarter. Highly anticipated news reports of untapped wells filled with Tourists in Sharm ElSheikh, Hurghada, and Luxor did not materialize, unfortunately. Wherever those tourists are, they sure are hiding those sneaky bastards, with the help of the lying god-less media, of course.

Two days prior, the Central Bank of Egypt issued a Bond Sale that got cancelled because no one bought anything, thanks to the new credit rating for the country that has put it in the same economic league as Greece. That same day, Pakistani President Ali Asif announced that his Party will not allow the implementation of the “Egyptian model” in Pakistan. And yesterday, the Egyptian pound plummeted against the dollar, reaching its lowest official level in Egyptian history, with people not being able to find dollars in exchange offices to replace soon to be worthless Egyptian pounds.

But we are the bankrupt ones.

Egypt is about to face an economic nuclear winter, a crisis the levels of which are unprecedented and for which the current government is completely and totally unprepared for. Interestingly enough, this is happening just as the Sharia Constitution has gloriously passed, and Islam has finally strengthened its foothold in the land of the Pharaoh –worshipping infidels. God will surely send manna from heaven at any minute now, given that this depraved atheist country has finally seen the light and the way. After all, our President is a praying President, and one day this country will see the glorious economic stability and advancement of similar non-oil-wealthy Islamic states like Afghanistan, Somalia and Sudan. Praise Allah and hide your dollars.

In other news, in a much ignored segment in Khairat AlShater’s press conference during the constitutional referendum “Fitna”, the country’s real President said and I quote “Production needs to be resumed, investments revived, and those businessmen who have escaped abroad must reconcile with the government and come back. But how can I do that without legislation? This is why we need the constitutions to be passed, so we can elect a parliament and issue that legislation and start working.” In another interview, a government official stated that they are about to start the “final 5 year development plan” that Mubarak’s regime put in place. When asked why they are using Mubarak’s plan instead of the MB fantastic Renaissance Project, he ignored the Renaissance project and said that the Mubarak plan is a great plan and should be implemented. I guess that the Renaissance project and the 200 billion dollars investments that were coming with it were more phantasmal than fantastic after all.

But we are the bankrupt ones. Indeed.

Personally, I see no reason why the MB government should reconcile with evil Islam-hating businessmen, not should they hold a national dialogue with the immoral Allah-hating opposition on the economy. I personally recommend the President instead stick to his Islamic economic vision, and hire the next government fully from the Islamist camp. I recommend the appointment of Hazem Abu Ismael as the Minister of Justice, Mohamed Hassan as Minister of Finance, and Yasser Borhamy as the Minister of Tourism. Those are the best people for the job, since they all pray and have beards. Who needs economic policy, or education, or experience, when you have Quran- memorizing men running the country? We will see immediate results. Allah willing.

I also recommend that all of you non-islamists to keep your decadent evil ways and not repent at all. I believe you should keep your bankrupt ideas and useless education to yourselves, and maybe go to other God-hating countries to join them in their orgy of sin. Also, please don’t buy from MB owned businesses or hire Islamist leaning employees if you voted no to the constitution; you don’t want to pollute their God-approved payroll with your devil-worshipping money. After all, the unprecedented prosperity that the Islamist rule will bring in any minute now will surely bring stability and will not end in a hunger revolution two months maximum from now. I, being from the bankrupt evil immoral wicked minority, am already jealous and envious of the glorious path ahead of us, and of the unprecedented love and hugs that Morsy will get from people all over this country. Jealous and envious I tell you. Just like those damn Christians and their evil Church.

Happy New Year, Infidels!

The Powers That Be

It’s hard to keep your sanity in Egypt with everything that is going on these days. As the Battle for Egypt’s rule and future drags on into its second year, it’s impossible not to feel exhausted, especially that the pace of events keeps getting faster and faster. The feeling that you are in a car that is driven by an inept driver who is too busy arguing with his “backseat driver” to notice that they are about to hit a dead-end is one shared by many. That’s why there is an eerie silence in Cairo and on the social networks these days; the people feel that there is a storm coming; a storm of many forces preparing for a final showdown. In the middle of all the battling Powers that be, two men stand firm in the eye of the storm, causing the state of flux that is taking shape: A Salafi disqualified presidential candidate called Hazem Salah Abu Ismael, and A young 25 year old Hero, called Sayed Moshagheb.


It’s hard not to disengage from reality when observing or experiencing the Egyptian revolution; through it we have lived all of our Hollywood cinematic fantasies. The story-arcs we have experienced so far in this theatrical saga include the following: inspirational peaceful revolution, Romantic comedies, Family drama, generational conflict, human rights struggles , Gang warfare , vigilante society, Courtroom drama, political thrillers, Media Thrillers, Freedom of Speech battles, Tales of Corruption & deceit, Zombie attacks (as far as the police’s point of view is concerned), Religious persecution, election sagas, and now we are entering the civil conflict & civil war section. All of this, in two years that also included a man who wrestled with a lion, 4 churches that were attacked / burned because a woman left her husband, and the brave tale of one man who, in retaliation for their killing of an Egyptian soldier on the border, climbed a 10 story building to capture an Israeli flag off of the embassy, a moment hailed by all as a great victory against the Zionist entity, to the point of giving him a hashtag, and an apartment for free as a reward to his great achievement. Yes, I forgot to mention that we also do absurd comedy.

There is, however, one man, who seems to be misplaced by the producers of our insane saga. A man, who truly belongs as a villain or a leader of a science fiction post-apocalyptic movie, and has the personal army of followers to prove it. A man whose first name literally translates to the following words: Firm, steadfast, resolute, tough and gritty.

A man called Hazem.


In the realm of the Salafis, things are not going well. They are currently at war, and are fighting for their lives on all fronts: The local Media, the international media, the police, the army, the revolutionaries, the NGO’s, the independents and the Felool – the whole world basically- seems to be against them. Sure, they have their own media and Sheikh’s, but they are nowhere near as effective as the impure whores of the secularist media. They could launch horrid attacks (using Quran, profanity, ridiculous hyperbole) on the channels and with all of their Sheikhs’, and then comes Bassem Youssef and destroys it all in less than an hour, without using a single profane word. Even the Mosques, their undisputed domain, their source of power, are being invaded by those secular demons when the Sheikh’s try to use the sermons for political guidance. To have Adballah Badr cornered in a mosque is one thing, but to have Al-Mahallawy, the great symbol, the man Sadat mentioned him as an enemy by name in the 70’s, cornered in HIS mosque as well? What is the world coming to?

What makes matters worse is the amount of internal divisions taking place on their side thanks to that half-assed islamist constitution that they have to sell, not thanks to the cursed Muslim Brotherhood. This constitutional draft is nowhere near the kind of constitution they envisioned, and many in their camps are becoming vocal about how this is not even close to being the Sharia constitution; not to mention the Jihady salafis, who didn’t only attack the constitution for that reason, but attacked the whole concept of elections & referendum as anti-islamic to begin with. On top of all of this, the Sharia constitution gets a 44% No vote in the first phase and ends up with a total No vote of 37%? No to Sharia is almost half and to win in three states, including the capital? With all of the tricks that the MB pulled to rig it? Nope, things are not good at all. The situation is terrible.

And then there are the antics of Sheikh Hazem…

Very few of the secularists saw Hazem Abu Ismael coming, and even fewer understood his real power and reach, but everybody in the Islamist camp did, and watched with increasing alarm as his followers grew all over the country and across all kinds of segments, but especially with the Youth.

It’s not hard to grasp if you consider the real appeal of his project for a broad number of followers, especially that no one else seems to have one: The Leftists don’t, the Liberals don’t, the Salafis have a very vague notion of one, and the MB have one that’s dying. What’s his political project? Well, Revolutionary rhetoric + Nasserite (we shall live with dignity and show the world) rhetoric + Islamist rhetoric. Think Islamist Gamal Abdel Nasser, and you are starting to get the picture. For young non-affiliated islamist- & revolutionary-minded youth, who else is there?

Between his reach amongst the population, the amount of AlQaida members that have joined his movement, and the murmurs about his dealings with the Syrian “revolutionaries” who pay him to send his members to fight with them, it’s safe to say that he is planning to be a force to be reckoned with. And no one, not a single soul amongst them, can rein him in. So, they must approve and support his actions, no matter how insane they seem. They can’t afford to have dissent showing amidst the ranks now, especially that so much of it exists thanks to that stupid MB constitution.

Ironically, his antics had one benefit, for now: They are distracting the media from the fact that the supreme majority of the salafis are boycotting this constitution, because it states that sovereignty is for the people, and not God, and for stating that all citizens are equal, which allows Christians to run for presidency. To do damage control, the good Sheikh Yasser Borhamy had to zigzag throughout all of the governorates- going at times to two governorates a day- to convince salafi voters that through specific words inserted in the draft that this constitution will implement Sharia.

It’s not really working.

Sure, the constitution will pass. The so-called Muslim Brotherhood will make sure of it. However, they will have to start challenging them on Sharia implementation the second this constitution is in effect, or they are doomed. After all, there is growing resentment amidst the salafi ranks at the MB for using them as their foot soldiers and attack dogs, and the legitimacy of the Sheikhs are being challenged for towing the line with those diet Islamists. There really is no alternative to clashing with them. No wonder AlArian is talking about arming the MB youth. He is terrified.

But one battle at a time. This is only the first step. And God is on their side.


A disturbing journalistic story that was being shared all over the social media rattled the nerves of revolutionary symbols. The Story listed in details the creation of a new islamist Ultras Group, called Ahrar, a joint venture between Ultras Zamalek, Hazemoon, and the most hated revolutionary at the moment, AbdelRahman Ezz. This group attacked the revolutionaries in the Itehadeya Clashes, with Ezz pointing out the revolutionary symbols so that Ahrar would target them. The freak-out was due to their feelings that they have lost the Zamalek Ultras as a revolutionary force with them, as if they were theirs to begin with.

Sensing the danger, the revolutionary symbols went to work immediately by tweeting and retweeting the news story, while expressing how freaked out they were about it. Some were so freaked out, they even posted it on facebook. Somehow, all of this energy didn’t manifest itself in them seeing the value of organizing themselves in any meaningful or useful way, or do any effort in that regards. God Knows that would make sense, so why do that?

Those revolutionary symbols were freaking out because deep down they realized how useless and irrelevant they have become. Because people have stopped listening to them, and will completely ignore them soon enough. Actually, more than anything, those revolutionary symbols were freaking out, because at this point, those symbols are now far more useful to the cause as martyrs than leaders.

Those same symbols always spoke about how people were getting sorted out between who is with or anti the revolution, and how this sorting is happening all the time, and other such poppycock. Those symbols suddenly realize that the sorting phase is now over, and that they are now entering new territory. The Elimination phase.


Sayed Moshagheb is a Hero. If you don’t know who he is, then you don’t know your Ultras.

Sayed is a Capo in Ultras Zamalek, and the most beloved and respected one at that. When the old Capos disappeared around 2009, during Zamalek’s darkest time, it was Sayed who held the group together. He dedicated his life to the group, went to all the Games, was in a new governorate almost every day to coordinate events, and even delayed his own marriage for almost two years for the sake of the group. He was all heart, purpose and dedication, and he shined when he would lead the tens of thousands of Zamalek Fans in chants during the games the same way he did when he lead his men through the battles of the January 25 revolution. He is their Hero.

He is also in his early twenties.

Sayed, like many youth, had Islamic leanings. So, like many Islamic-minded youth, he joined the Hazem Salah Abu Ismael movement “Hazemoon”, but wouldn’t let it affect his decisions: When the Mohamed Mahmoud clashes started, all the Sheikhs ordered the youth not to engage with the Police. Sayed publically ignored the order, told everyone that he is going to stand by his revolutionary brothers, and all the Zamalek Ultras followed him there. He didn’t leave Mohamed Mahmoud for the four days of clashes. He was there, always on the front line, always inspiring his men. He was so loved and respected, that when he joined Hazemoon for their sit-in in front of the Ministry of Defense, the Zamalek Ultras went and joined the battle despite not fully believing in it. To them it was enough that Sayed was there, and they wouldn’t leave him fight a battle alone; He wouldn’t do that to any of them. They are all Brothers, no matter what, and you are always there for your brother when he needs you.

This is why when Sayed joined Ahrar, an islamist youth Ultras movement started by Hazemoon, many of the Islamic-minded Ultras followed him as well. The group was made of revolutionary youth who was at all the battles, who simply wanted the revolution to win and for Sharia to be implemented. They were not controlled by any Sheikh or political group, and their actions were purely revolutionary driven. When they attacked the Judges for example, they did that because the Judges were corrupt remnants of the previous regime who wanted to stop the revolution. This was all fine and dandy, until Ahrar went and joined the side of the Muslim Brotherhood militias at the Itehadyea Clashes. Suddenly you had Ultras Zamalek members side by side with the MB, fighting against Ultras Zamalek members standing side by side with other revolutionaries, many of which were Ultras Ahly, their arch nemesis. The Revolutionaries were appalled that there were Ultras standing with the dictatorial MB against them, while Ahrar were appalled that their revolutionary brothers were joining forces with Felloll no matter what the cause. Each side saw the other side as traitors to the revolution.

There was a crack in their brotherhood. What was worse is that Sayed was rumored to be there, fighting on the Islamist side. No one could confirm it though, but the rumor was enough drive an unprecedented wedge within the group. Civil war loomed amidst the Ultras. All that was needed was a spark, and the spark would be a confirmation that Sayed was indeed there.

And then the news article on Ahrar came out, and it was so detailed, with names and locations, that it gave the Interior ministry enough info to go after Ahrar, albeit clandestinely. A secret campaign arrest was started, with Ahmed Arafa being the shiny example of it, but the target was Sayed. After all, not only is he in Ahrar and Hazemoon, but the ministry had an old vendetta against him for being the Ultras Capo that humiliated them time and time again. He was their top target, and they went after him, even storming his house and terrifying his family and baby girl.

But Sayed was not there. He was on the run. And the Police were after him. For all the Zamalek Ultras, this was enough reason to cast aside their differences and the divide for now. Their Brother, their leader, their Hero was in trouble.

And you are always there for your Brother when he needs you….

The civil war will have to wait, for now, until they all make sure that Sayed is fine.

Both sides are preparing for it though.

It won’t be long.


The Police General sat in his office inside the Ministry of Interior, reviewing today’s newspapers. Satisfied with the public outcry regarding the MB’s militias and the Hordes of Abu Ismael, he continued reading the field reports coming his way from his officers. They have been successfully towing the line between not antagonizing the new ruling party and the revolutionaries. Of all the parties in play, the only real winner has been the Ministry of Interior: Their profile is on the rise, especially with refusing to clash with Itehadya Protesters during their marshes, while having a stand-off with the Hazemoon people when they tried to attack the Dokki police station. Despite his wishes to the contrary, he knew they couldn’t arrest Abu Ismael, since the Presidential palace gave them strict orders not to touch him. Fine, will tow the line, but the orders do not include Hazemoon, and the Minister of Interior has used that distinction to wage a silent war against them.

The General couldn’t shake his distaste towards his new bosses, especially the so-called President, who used to be dragged from his house by officers much lower in rank than him back in the day. His officers shared this distaste, and even the most violent amongst them did not look forward to following Sharia orders from bearded men. Sure, they have no problems with torturing or raping or electrocuting people, but this cutting of hands and stoning to death business is just so…messy, if not backwards.

He knew that the powers behind Morsy were certain that the MOI was not in their pockets, or that the current Minister was not their man, and that both are playing for their sake and their sake only. He knew that they fear the MOI would join forces with the revolutionaries against them, and become their organized armed wing (despite how unlikely that is due to the ridiculously utopian nature of the revolutionaries), and that such an alliance would completely challenge their power. He knew that if the revolutionaries let bygones be bygones, they would do that in a heartbeat, and has been sending them signals to that regard for the past month, which didn’t escape his new bosses. He knew that the current Minister will be removed soon, to be replaced by a more MB loyal candidate to help them “cleanse” the MOI. He knew that all of this was coming, and he and his men are waiting for it, so that they can start wreaking Havoc all over the country against the MB and their allies. They couldn’t fight a revolution, but a war of attrition with Islamists? That’s something they know how to do quite well, and they would really like a repeat performance.

All in good time, he thought. All in good time.


Inside the real MB Headquarters, the Guidance Council member was not happy. Sure, the situation so far seems under control, and the plans to forge the elections have gone impeccably well, but the loss of support on the ground has been very worrying. What’s even more worrying is the refusal of the Cairo MB members to show up in support of the President at the Itehadeya clashes, turned off by the guidance council tactics and increasingly sectarian tone. They keep bussing more and more people in from the governorates, and relying more and more on the Salafis. The Cairo University Protests were 90% Salafis. Not good. Not good at all.

They had no choice though, he said to himself. They had to pass the constitution this way and right now, otherwise they might not be able to ever pass one, especially not in another 6 months. The Economy is not doing well, and their friends in Qatar and Turkey are not stepping up their financial support as they should. If they didn’t move fast, they risk losing the parliamentary elections completely, and they need to have those yesterday to fully control the country. Also, if anything happened to Morsy now, they have lost everything. They need a parliament head from the Brotherhood to ensure their stay in Power if Morsy’s health deteriorates further. If he dies now, the presidency moves to the head of the Supreme Court, and they would be out of the game. And if they are out now, they are out forever. That cannot be allowed to happen. They will fight that until the last Salafi.

He is not too worried about the Salafis; if they overstep their bounds, the MB will unleash the MOI on them, who would love to tear them apart. Not Abu Ismael though. His group has many ex-AlQaeda people, and if they go against him, AlQaida will declare them apostates, and start a war against them. It should be noted that too many Mujahdeen have entered the country those past two years. They were beneficial in making the MB look like moderates back then, but now they are becoming a threat. Thankfully, the US recognizes that they are the ones holding the Mujahedeen and Hamas back, and will continue to support them. And if you have the US on your side, you don’t need much else.


S/P Memo 56734



Subject: Egypt

S/P currently has no new recommendations regarding the situation in Egypt. While President’s Morsy’s actions have been troubling, especially that they have been taken the day after Secretary Clinton’s visit, the political developments have not provided us with an alternative to the current regime. As called for by the Secretary, this memo examines: whether there is a course for action advances the transition to democracy in Egypt; whether the new developments would be benefitted by such course for action; and finally, the impact of such action on American interests in the country.

The US currently has three strategic interests in Egypt: 1) Maintaining Regional stability, 2) Maintaining the strategic partnership with the Egyptian Military, and 3) Ensuring the continued operation of the Suez Canal for the next Five years. Providing support for the liberal opposition in Egypt- if such support is even possible- would not guarantee the serving of those interests. The Opposition is still divided and fragmented, and there is no clear leader to negotiate with. The National Salvation Front has emerged as an attempt to provide a counterweight to the Brotherhood, but their alliance is fragile, their rhetoric isn’t unified and their performance sophomoric. There is genuine doubt in the alliance’s survival beyond the proposed constitutional referendum.

Even if the US chooses to support them regardless, the options are still very limited. Imposing conditionality on the aid would provide us with no positive outcome, for if they meet our bluff we would have to either cut the aid, which loses us leverage, or not cut the aid, which would allow them to ignore any such future pressure. Not to mention, given that the US government is tied with 5 year contracts with the defense contractors for Egypt’s military aid, cutting it would still require us to fulfill our monetary obligations to our contractors, while losing all strategic advantages from our relationship with Egypt.

It should be noted that at this juncture the situation in Egypt is low priority in the rapidly shifting geopolitical map of the middle-east, specifically in relations to the coming conflict with Iran. Egypt is and will remain solidly in the Sunni camp regardless of who is in power, so the focus should be on the grey countries, specifically Syria, Iraq and Bahrain. To focus on the political developments in Egypt is as inconsequential to our goals as focusing on the score of a soccer game when your real concern is maintaining ownership of the field. Hence, in light of the current state of affairs, it is recommended to stay the course until further developments arise.


About a week ago, there was a meeting between the Egyptian Minister of Defense and the Egyptian Naval command. Upon entering the meeting, the Naval Command chiefs wanted to discuss the recent political developments, especially Hazem Salah Abu Ismael. The Minister curtly cut the talk, informing them that the army should stay away from discussing politics. The Chiefs responded by stating that they were not there to discuss politics, but rather National Security. They expressed their astonishment at the Army not taking action against Hazemoon until now, given that they are breaking the law so blatantly and publically. They stated that had the army sent in two 777 platoons, they would have easily taken out the entire population of Hazemoon during their siege of the Media City. They informed the Minister of Defense that the lack of government response towards Hazemoon and their antics puts their own families and the families of those they command in danger, and that if any of them gets hurt or terrorized, they will not wait for permission to mobilize their troops and weapons against them, or any other similar group.

The Minister of Defense did not comment, but a storm was brewing inside his head. He knew that there are undercover MB officers in the army that command units and platoons, and that he doesn’t fully know who they are. The Army intervening in what’s going on in Egypt could risk splitting the military institution, a risk he was not prepared to take, hence his inaction. Now he has to contend with the possibility that the institution might split if he doesn’t do something as well, and the ineptitude of those in charge of the Presidency is pushing the country into the Precipice. He is doomed either way, and time was running out.


Tarek works for an NGO in Alexandria that provides charity and local developments to the poorest villages in the Governrates. About a month ago, a group of his colleagues, which were working on a different zone than his for the past 5 years, were approached by a group of Salafis. The Salafis informed them that they control this area now, and that if the NGO wanted to continue to work there, they would have to work through them or not at all. His Colleagues chose to ignore them, and a week later, while delivering the sustenance bags to the needy, were ambushed by the salafi group, got held up with swords, beaten and roughed up, and had all of their supplies stolen by them. True Story.

Tarek has similar problems in his zone, but with a unique twist: The Salafis informed him that if he doesn’t work with them and works with the MB, then all of their mosques will be closed to him and his group. In turn, the MB has informed him that if he works with the Salafis and not them, they will make his life hell through government intervention. Tarek, so far, has played them off each other, but their pressures on him are increasing by the day, and he has no idea what to do the day he is forced to choose.


The Phones have not stopped ringing at the Offices of the Central Bank of Egypt, with everyone from public and Private Banks calling to get confirmation on whether the Bank’s chairman, Farouk Al-Okda, has really resigned. The intensity of the phone calls reflected the panic that the financial community has been living in for the past few months. Al-Okda has been keeping the economy afloat for the past two years, at the cost of the rapidly depleting financial reserves. Before the revolution, the reserves were 36 $ Billion, now they are down to 15 $ Billion; 4 $ Billion of which are in Gold, 5 $ Billion are in various securities that if touched would signal the country’s bankruptcy, leaving only 6 $ Billion in actual financial liquidity. Taking into account the financial obligations of the government in terms of salaries, subsides and loan servicing, accompanied with the record low growth rate, the evaporation of FDI and the shortage in foreign currency replenishment due to the deterioration of the Tourism industry (having Islamist burn Churches & then electing Islamists to power does not bring in tourists), it is safe to say that Egypt is one foot in the economic grave.

Due to IMF pressures, the government has adopted really strong austerity measures in the shape of new tax laws and subsidy cutting, but froze it on the same day due to fears that it might cause people to vote against the constitution. The freezing of the laws made the IMF believe that the Egyptian government is not committed to the agreement, and is now moving into rejecting Egypt’s loan request. Without the loan, the government will not be able to cover the pensions, salaries or remaining subsidies, or cushion the inflation of the Egyptian pound. This brings us to the nightmare scenario of rising prices of goods, of which many will vanish from the supermarkets and sold in the black market, coupled with a drastic decline in value of the Egyptian pound, and the inability of the government to meet its financial obligations towards its employees and pensioners. A perfect economic storm.

Expected financial outcome will include any or all of the following events: the vanishing of the US dollar from Banks and exchange offices; Bank runs that will bankrupt public and private banks; Unprecedented losses in the stock exchange; Disappearance and/or increased pricing of basic consumer goods; Layoffs; Bankruptcies; Lack of liquidity in the Market for new or existing projects; Huge increase in Unemployment rates; A lower credit rating for the country that will further drive away serious investors; drastic increase in petty crime; Social Upheaval; Huge economic protests; and the ever so looming scenario of a hunger revolution. The Panic is justified.

No wonder the phones keep ringing.


The MB Constitution has passed, thanks to massive fraud and a deeply sectarian campaign on the hands of the MB controlled Government. The Yes votes are 64% , the No votes are 36% and the voter turnout was 32% of all eligible voters. Out of every 100 Egyptians, 20 have said yes, 12 have said no, and 68 didn’t even bother to go and vote.

Mohamed was one of those 68% that didn’t go vote. He is a government employee by day, and a Taxi driver by night, who spends every waking minute of his day trying to provide for his wife, 3 children and sick mother. Mohamed didn’t vote. Mohamed didn’t vote because he didn’t think it mattered, and that no matter what he chooses the outcome will be Yes anyway. Mohamed didn’t vote, because like all of his friends and neighbors, he has become disgusted with the tug of war between the secularists and the Islamists, and how all they care about is power, even if it means pulling the country into a civil war. Mohamed didn’t vote because he knows that neither side cares about him or his family, despite what they always say in their speeches, before and after the revolution. Mohamed didn’t vote because all the hope he had at the beginning of the revolution was gone, replaced with bitterness and anger, and he would rather spend the time scouring the streets of Cairo for a fare that might help him cover his ever increasing expenses. What good is a constitution to a bunch of hungry mouths anyway?

Mohamed hated the revolution. Mohamed hated that his neighborhood became infested with crime and thugs, and that the whole city soon followed. Mohamed hated the absence of the police unless they wanted a bribe, a practice that has increased after a revolution that claimed that it will stop it. Mohamed hated the state of Chaos the country has been in for the past two years, and the hours he wasted in traffic caused by marches and sit ins and clashes that don’t seem to ever stop. Mohamed hated that there are no tourists anymore, and that when he gets a foreign customer it’s usually a Syrian refugee who hassles him over the fare, unlike the days when the Americans and the Gulfie tourists used to populate the city and pay him generously for taking them around. Mohamed hated that they were gone, and has lost hope that they will ever come back.

Mohamed barely meets his expenses, and has no idea how he survived those past two years. Mohamed panicked when he heard that the prices of goods were going up, only to relax hours later when he was informed that the government cancelled the increase. Had those prices increased, Mohamed would be completely unable to feed his family, and what kind of a man would that make him?

Mohamed is scared, bitter, angry, hungry and tired. He knows one thing for certain: if things get any worse financially, he will lose it. He will take the gun he bought two years ago, and kill the Islamists, the secularists, and all of those people who have the luxury to fight over stupid shit on his and his family’s expense.

Mohamed will show them the exact amount of consideration and mercy they have showed him, which is none.

Mohamed will have his Justice, and he is not the only one.


Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

Mathew Arnold


The End


1 2 3 98