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Wednesday, 29 Mar 2006
As some of you may know, I am a big fan of conspiracy theories, especially ones started by Egyptians. In Egypt I have heard some of the craziest conspiracy theories ever, and I am actually proud of that, because it shows that we, as people, have a huge imagination, an asset that I believe remains largely untapped. I swear that if you give people here the means to, they will produce some of the world’s greatest fiction. It will be majorly anti-Semitic fiction, but hey, entertaining nonetheless.
While some conspiracy theories stand above the fray, my favorite conspiracy theorist has to be my dear crazy aunt. She is a mean and jealous woman who spent her life trying to spread misery to others, especially my mother, and why my mother hasn’t disowned her yet remains a mystery to me. But that’s besides the point.
She has been unemployed and veiled by choice for the past 6 years, opting to spend her time making her husband and kids’ life miserable, which is why they are almost never home. So, in order to pass the time, she reads lots of books, mostly of the kind that you would find in downtown Cairo street booksellers. Basically books on Koranic magic ( of the “ketab el katkoot lefak el marboot” variety), the conjuring of Jinn, how Islam is right on everything and Christians and Jews are idiots, and how the Jews are to blame for everything. The woman became infamous for her talks with family members on how the Jews control the stock market using the Kabala magic, and how, if you look very quickly to your left or right side, you could see the Jinn sitting next to you, and that the only reason Bush promoted this port deal, was because the UAE company had Jewish partners that influenced him to push it. To put it bluntly, the woman has lost her damn mind. And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that once she starts talking, she wouldn’t shut the fuck up, ever. She won’t even take bathroom breaks.
A conversation with her consists of her talking for 2 hours without you even having the chance to interrupt her, while telling you how it really works in the world and how she knows the truth on everything, and how the wicked Jews are behind it all. And you better only nod in agreement or show approval, or she would talk even more, which, trust you me, is not advisable. And don’t even think of arguing with her logically, because a) she doesn’t respond to logic, b) if you do manage to beat her in any point, she will yell at you for being an insolent young-know-nothing and remind you how you should “respect your elders”.
Needless to say, she is on top of my list of relatives to avoid, and the primary reason why I regret not having an alcohol-drinking family, because at family gatherings when she is present, I- and all of the new generation in my family- desperately yearn for a drink. But especially me, because that woman has a special place in her heart for me, because she has sported delusional fantasies for 2 decades now that I would marry her daughter, and my mom- like many middle-eastern mothers- sees nothing wrong or incest-related about that. I told my mother that I would oppose this, if for no other reason at all, because that woman is my aunt because of fate, and I accepted that as god’s cruel joke, but I will be damned if I made her my mother-in-law by choice. This had little or no effect on either’s woman’s resolve I fear, and I feel that the only way to shut them up and get that idea out of their heads at this point is to marry someone else, preferably Jewish, just to piss them off. That was the plan till very recently..
….until I heard her latest conspiracy theory.
Did any of you know that the Jews were behind the 2004 Tsunami?
No? That’s because you don’t know my aunt.
You see, the jews were not happy about their current complete and total control of all arab governments (“Read the protocols of zion, it’s all there, mr. skeptic” she would tell you if you objected) and they wanted to kill muslims in non-arab Islamic countries as well. “That’s how wicked they are”, she would interject. They apparently decided to target Islamic Asian countries, and especially Indonesia, because it’s the largest one, and figured out that the best way to do it is using nuclear weapons. But afraid of the world turning against them, they decided to be all jew-like and sneaky about it, and blow the nuclear weapons deep under the ground, thus causing artificial earthquakes that kill thousands of Indonesian muslims and their neighbors. They have done that for years no apparently, and even though those earthquakes kill non-muslims as well, none of those dying are jews, which makes it fine by them. This has been going on since the early 1990’s, she would inform your ignorant ass.
The 2004 Tsunami was a turning point for them, she informed us, because it was the first time they 1) used more than 1 nuclear weapon in creating their earthquake and-I shit you not- 2) deployed their weather-control technology, to direct the waves to Islamic countries. The plan was a great success, as we all know, as is the main reason why the Bush administration jumps when the israli government says so. Apprently the USA is now terrified of Israel’s newfound technology, which will only mean “more defeat and humiliation” of arabs and muslims everywhere on the hands of America.
Yeah!
When she told us this at my Mother’s Birthday, I remember being incredibly silent for a minute, and then I asked her “Well, if the Jews rule the world, can cause earthquakes and control the weather, ehh, why do we bother worshiping god then? I mean, you make them all god-like, we might as well worship them instead, no?”
She, of course, called me an insolent young-know-nothing.
I looked at my mom, and I realized that she was silent on the whole thing and didn’t show an opinion. My mom’s aunt, another member of the “Jews-rule-the-world” book club, was quick to second what my aunt said as “the truth”. My mom’s other aunt was quick to join in by saying that she too has apparently heard it said from scientists, and since I am no scientist, that means that they are right and I am wrong. “Don’t mind him”, my aunt said, “they brainwashed him when he was in Boston. We all know and heard about that Jewish Harlot you used to date!”
“Which one?” I wanted to ask, but decided it wasn’t a smart move at this point.
It was then and there that I decided that I will never, ever, ever, get married. Well, not as long as my mother’s side relatives are alive and part of the family that is. I mean, I was born into this family, so there is nothing I can do about it really. But it would be a cruel and unusual punishment to bring someone else into this crazy circus, let alone someone jewish. They would probably plot to kill her if anything. No need.
But yeah, the Jews are behind the Tsunami, people.
Just thought you should know!
March 29th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
The Jews are behind the Tsunami, of course. Jewish rabbi Mordechai Elijahu once told the world that the Tsunami was disposed by god to punish states with call for the retreat of Israel from the Gaza Strip. If you can read german, check this article on israelnetz: http://www.israelnetz.de/show.sxp/8434.html?sxpident=073–69579507920045C-o-p389258210985249131669
March 29th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
It wasn’t the Jews. It was me. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
March 29th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Anyone who has studied geology and meteorology knows about the dreaded dreidl wave harmonic created by focusing nuclear weapons through a weather machine. The dreidl wave harmonic results in earthquakes, tsunamis, and chafing in sensitive areas
March 29th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Ahh the conspiracy theories abound … they are everywhere.
The Jews are behind everything.
Israel created the avian flu virus in order to damage “genes carried only by Arabs!!.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Hey ! My dad’s uncle’s wife is just like that!
Well in fact she believes that jews are superior, and always victorious, because Jesus is the son of god and jesus was a jew, so god’s jew and so god’s always on there side.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
You can still marry, Sam. Just find a girl with an equally mad family!
March 29th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
*sigh* u r so behind the times. If u’d read MEMRI, u’d have seen translations of this theory’s very first flowerings. You’d then have been able to impress your aunt with your (practically) first-hand knowledge of this nefarious conspiracy’s mechanisms.
However, this in no way endorses MEMRI as a trusted resource, since (as is well known) it is run by Zionists (and their supporters, who become jews-by-proxy).
March 29th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Your aunt and Apesnake are probably right - with a dreidl (or “svivon” in Israel) in every synagog - though there are other claimants:
The Westboro Baptist Church from Topeka, Kansas at http://www.godhatessweden.com commerates the event with “thank God for 5,000 dead Swedes” and news that “The King looks like an anal-copulator”
Mohamed Faizeen, manager of the Centre for Islamic Studies in Colombo, says that a satellite picture taken near the town of Kalutara “Clearly spells out the name ‘Allah’ in Arabic”
Meanwhile a Salvation Army officer in Sri Lanka, commented “All of our officers (clergy) survived. We had officers all along the coast. Most lost everything, but God spared their lives.”
But Sheik Fawzan Al-Fawzan said The tsunami was sent by God to punish South Asian countries because they allowed tourists to engage in immoral sexual activity.
War of the Gods maybe - but who’d be a God if sex is such bad stuff ?
March 29th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Yep, that was us. Some of our finest work, actually.
Wait until you see what we have in store for the world this year.
Bwahahaha..
March 29th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
Wait, I thought that it was all George Bush’s fault.. or maybe it was my fault. . We’ll sort it out later.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
HUM, ‘a) she doesn’t respond to logic . . . .’
She sounds like a Liberal Democrat .
Okay, what does “ketab el katkoot lefak el marboot” mean . . . ?
March 29th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
Maybe some smart, sneaky Jew can find this dumb ass, poor Jew a job. Unfortunately, my resume only shows experience planting atomic weapons 20,000 feet below the surface of the ocean. That won’t even get me a job in the local 7-11. I think your aunt has too much time on her hands.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
As a jew, I have to say your aunt is frickin’ nuts. I WISH there was some sort of vast international Jewish power structure - it would make getting a mortgage for the house I want to buy much, much easier….
March 29th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Hmmm… I heard the theory that it was caused by Christian solders doing something bad on Muslim graves on Xmas day.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
aha yabni… aha
March 29th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
What did the surfing Joo say?
BONZOY!
Or the link (should jpeg likely not show), http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c353/gmafb/Two/vbcfgdrte4nhgftyr.jpg
March 29th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
My favorite Jewish conspiracy story was back in the mid-90s when Jewish men were infecting Jewish harlots with AIDS and sneaking them across the boarder to have sex with Egyptian men. Both my wife and I read that in one of the Cairo papers (can’t remember which, but printed in English). Rest of the folks in the Cafe couldn’t figure out why we were laughing our asses off!!
Later
Tater
March 29th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Nice Post. Tunisia is such a small country that nothing happens there. That made my uncle wife’ think that the only reason the US ,Japan, etc have so many tornados, earthquakes was because of God’s anger at them.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
If da joooz are so smart, howcum they picked the only part of the Middle East with no oil to claim as their promised land?
March 29th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Well, if they could part the Red sea, why not a Tsunami?
So you’d marry Jewish to piss off your Mom. So that’s why that Egyptian wants to marry me. We could piss off two mothers at once.
Efficient, eh!
SK
March 29th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Aaaaaahhhhh…. my dear Mr. Sandmonkey, this only proves a wise old truism. You can pick your nose, you can pick your seat at the movies, but … YOU CAN’T PICK YOUR FAMILY!!!
March 29th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Since the Andaman islands were directly in the path of the tsunami, and the Andamese miraculously survived it, isn’t the obvious conclusion that their god, Puluga, is the only true god, and anyone who says different is going straight to hell?
All hail Puluga, Puluga is great! (Just in case)
March 29th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
It hought it went like this: the Jooz, who control the US, made the US use its secret earthquake machine to cause both the tsunami and the Pakistan earthquake. It was very clever of them to pick active earthquake faults that can naturally produce big earthquakes like that, no?
And what about the reverse vampires?
>All hail Puluga, Puluga is great! (Just in case)
May the FSM strike you down with His Noodly Appendage!
March 29th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
I would have paid good money to see your Aunt’s reaction to your response “Which One?”
Your stories are too damn funny SM!
March 29th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
>But yeah, the Jews are behind the Tsunami, people.
oh thank god! thank you SO much for letting me know! i thought it was the Niggers! you have set my mind at rest.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
I feel for you cousin, having a mother wackier than a wombat on wasabi. Pretend you agree to marry her and help her escape the country. She should be safe in Iceland.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
I liked the part about how Boston spoiled your brain!
That was hilarious.
Not referring to your family in particular but this bull shit really embarasses me. I find it almost impossible that people in my country believe this shit.
I guess 60 years of total brain washing is starting to show its effects.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
If the “Jews and Crusader infidel Zionist….yadda…yadda” really had it out for the Muslims we’d nuke every city in the Middle East within the half hour.
We CAN do that.
Before this whole conspiracy theory, jihady ego trip gets out of hand and takes us past the point of no return, I wish some of these people would stop to think what we could do - very quickly - if their theories were actually based in fact.
For example, one Ohio Class nuclear submarine carries over 100 nuclear warheads. That’s a world-class ass whipping in one submarine. We have more than one.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
SM,
That was the funniest stroy I have ever read here!
If the Jews can create seaquakes, why won’t they help their Zionist ally the US stop earthquakes in California? You should ask your aunt if she knows the answer.
Egypeter;
Exactly how common are those attitudes?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
My favorite Egyptian conspiracy theory dates back to 2002
Zamalek vs Ahly game
I’m in Zamalek tribunes when out of nowhere a group of bees starts attacking us .
I didn’t have the faintest clue where they came from … but my rather stinking fellow supporter knew better … “they came from Ahly tribunes” , he concluded ” Ahly fans are atttaaaaaaaaccckiiiiiiiinnnggg ”
and proceeded to his favorite chanting “kos omaaaak .. ya Ahlyyy ” , accompanied with the blessings and the voices of 50,000 other Zamalek fans .
For you non-arabic speakers .. that’s a rather filthy swear
Naturally i didn’t apply to the theory but it was a good excuse for me to curse Ahly - as if i need one - !
we lost 6-1 that night …
i looked around to find my fellow supporter to ask him who should we blame this time .
He was nowhere to be found .
March 29th, 2006 at 7:26 pm
Here’s the real truth about earthquakes, hurricanes, and the Illuminatti
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/search.php
After Katrina hit, KDKA Radio had on a guy from Utah that said Katrina was the result of Japanese technology that the Russinas used to conjure up Katrina and strike the US.
He and a caller got into a discussion about the “Great Earthquake Wars” of the 1980s between the Soviets and the US. Its what led to the fall of the USSR!
Damn glad we one that one!
Beware the Illuminatti!
March 29th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
Sandmonkey:
Lately my family has been driving me crazy but this story just brightened my day by reminding me there is always something with it worse off.
March 29th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
The version I heard included, Bush of course, and India (Hindu types). Your aunt really isn’t up on her conspiracy theories.
My Mum too had a thing about Jews, which considering my German descent Dad loathed anti-Semitism, led to some interesting and lively discussions in our household. I still managed to find someone to marry who let it wash over him.
March 29th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
SaM: If you or others love conspiracy theories, you might want to cross over to full proud gaming dorkdom and play the Steve Jackson card came Illuminati: New World Order ( http://www.sjgames.com/inwo/ ) in which your own little secret cabal competes to control, neutralize, or destroy other groups. Yes, there is a card for “Elders of Zion.” There is also a card for “Robot Sea Monsters,” for that matter. Hollywood, cable news networks, countries, political groups, and various occult artifacts all are represented and evolve into a sinister network of intrigue, and results in some entertaining and only probably slightly less fantastic stories of chains of command than what your aunt could imagine. Seriously, I once made the Church of Satan control the Southern Baptists one game. Score. There are also blank cards so you can make your own pawns and players, perhaps even yourself so you can see exactly where you fit into the whole conspiracy.
Bonus Points!: The Church of the SubGenius sponsored a stand-alone expansion pack of the system. ( http://www.sjgames.com/inwo/SubGenius/ ) Praise Bob!!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
don’t worry, my grandmother has just as many theories about how the Muslims ave ruined everything in magical and impossible ways.
March 29th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
Well SM, no matter how many differences we think jews and muslims may have, -the one thing we have in common is some crazy-ass famlies!
March 29th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
Hi Aliandra -
Thank God I was born and raised in Chicago! But from my experiences travelling to Egypt I’ve heard some conspiracy theory doozies.
Of course this magical Tsunami by the Jews just might take the cake.
As far as your question goes, I’m afraid to find out the answer. It’s as if the whole of Egypt believes EVERY SINGLE COCKAMAMIE rumor/lie they hear…especially when it involves the Jews.
I will never forget when I was in Sharm El-Sheikh (the jewel of Egypt) in ‘04 and I had a dumb-ass cabbie trying to convince me the Jews were the ones who flew into the WTC!!! This guy was convinced and nothing I could say would disprove what he thought…it scared me and pissed me off.
March 29th, 2006 at 11:32 pm
for all the gypos in here
i really dun think u should be promoting the idea that all the egyptians are joo-phobics , let alone illiterate dumbheads .
U’re conveying a non-fair non-objective stereotype to non-Egyptians .
I think you should be more sympathetic .. more understanding .. more tolerant !
March 29th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
SM,
My ex-husband’s family (Iraqi muslims) believed that Monica Lewinsky was hired by the Joooz to bring down the “wonderful” Bill Clinton. What say you to that?
March 30th, 2006 at 12:42 am
Olive: shouldn’t that be ‘wackier than a wahabist wombat on wasabi?’
Sam: The way to really blow your aunt’s (to use the expression in its broadest sense) mind:
Bring home a nice Jewish BOY. Explain how the two of you WERE just going to live together, but that he convinced you, after Canada cut off aid to Hamas, the suitable thing to do was for the two of you to fly to Ontario and get married.
Then have HIM ask her to be ‘maid of honor.’
March 30th, 2006 at 1:07 am
Sam -
I actually read the entire thing.
Nothing unfortunately surprising.
However, this was the line that summed it all up for me.
- Mike
PS That girl you met for lunch is too nice and good natured to be burdened to deal with hate and ignorance like that.
Leave her out of it…..
March 30th, 2006 at 1:38 am
Sam, sweetheart - if I’d be younger and free, I’d take this adventure upon me and marry you straight away (whether you want to or not hehehe) - It just seems like so much fun to step into your family - I bet that if I’d just raise my hand to fix my collar or so they’d all stagger and start praying mercy because of all the might I have while just being jewish. I would definitely want to feel that powerful, definitely!
March 30th, 2006 at 1:45 am
Tsedek -
That’s his Archie Bunker aunt who might be cute to laugh at. However, his guy friends and other people who all believe 3000 Jews didn’t go to work at the WTC on 9-11 and would harass you non-stop would eventually wear on you. And don’t dismiss it the Muslim immigrant community in Europe is spreading this belief to the underground mainstream and comedians in the mainstream. The US isn’t Europe be thankful for now.
On a sidenote - I often wonder when I read shit like this how many people could have actually dealth with what Jackie Robinson did?
I doubt that 99.9% of people could have dealt with what he did.
- Mike
March 30th, 2006 at 6:20 am
Sandmonkey, your aunt actually doesn’t sound too different from your average Moonbattius Americanus™, especially the Berkeley-dwelling type. Maybe you could talk her into moving to Berkeley/San Francisco!
Will you please ask her to explain Hurricane Katrina? We who live on the Gulf Coast would LOVE to know how to defeat the Evil Jooooz for this year’s hurricane season.
Mike (43) - The US isn’t Europe, that’s true. Of course we don’t need jihadi immigrants–we have the unhinged left in their place. Fortunately, they’re less of a physical threat. I just don’t understand how if Bush = Hitler, he works for the Jooooz.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:12 am
Does your aunt realise that Al Qaeda is a Jewish front organisation set up to sow discord among Muslims? Most of its victims have been Muslims, and of course the Joos stayed home on 9/11. The low level bombers are mere puppets of the organisation.
The Waahabist heresy was secretly invented by the Joos to keep the Arabs backward and ignorant, while the Joos forged ahead inventing Relativity, modern medicine, Hollywood, the Music Industry, etc.
Hitler was a Jewish agent who faked the Holocaust to give the Zionists an excuse for invading Palestine.
And of course Islam itself was invented by the Joos to keep the Arabs away from the true faith of Hinduism, which they were about to adopt. It was deliberately set up to be similar enough to Judaism to be plausible, but not enough to let its believers into Paradise.
That lot should keep her happy, if fed in small doeses.
March 30th, 2006 at 8:46 am
First time I visit your blog,totally in love with it! HILARIOUS!
March 30th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Tell her that you agree with her and that you believe that the Jews’ power is, as the Qur’an indicates, probably a feature of their close relationship with Allah.
Commend her for seeing past religion and questioning the Qur’an on that matter.
That should freak her out.
Always make sure that people believe that their arguments are good but that they are arguing for the opposite side.
March 30th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
The dead sea and kineret are dying for weather controled technology!
bring those waves to israel, i’d say.
March 30th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Tell her the jews have overheard her, and they are training their weather control towards her and if they continue to hear this kind of talk for much longer(over their high powered, directed microphones that have a reach of 3000miles), they will send a lighting strike to smite her.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
So whose weather making technology created Katrina? Oh, that’s right, Bush borrowed it from the Jews so he could wipe out the Blacks.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
As a charter member of the WZC (World Zionist Conspirary)–I was inducted in 1995, and like all members of the WZC, celebrated by killing some Christian and Muslim children, drinking their blood, and then buying a couple of banking chains—I must commend your aunt on how perceptive she is. I would also note that weather forecasters are saying that the northeastern United States (where my megabank is headquartered) is supposedly in line to be hit by a hurricane this summer, or so the weather experts are predicting. Obviously, they did not consult with me, or I would have told them that since we JJJJJJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ control the weather, that will never happen.
I’ve spent enough time writing this. Time for me to go out and buy some media outlets.
March 30th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
Your stories are more interesting than your random views,, put more stories man
March 31st, 2006 at 12:00 am
Tell your mother-in-law (err, aunt) that if she really believes that Jews are that powerful, she ought to convert — if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. After all, if god gave a little (and getting littler) group of short, big-nosed people that much power, it must have been fora reason.
Hey, why don’t you start a seder in front of her — Passover is on the 12th. If you do it cleverly enough, she won’t even realize what it is until halfway through (substitute grape juice for wine).
March 31st, 2006 at 4:25 am
Wow! Someone else in the world suffers like I do! Except my uncle suspects the Russians are still behind the World’s problems!?! Keep up the great storytelling. It’s nice to know that family pshycosis binds us all, regardless of everything.
March 31st, 2006 at 12:00 pm
[...] Iran suffers a massive quake Withholding Judgment for now No comment Jill Carroll Freed 10 best Accidental discoveries Hindu Cartoon controversy Hamas MP: “Jihad is our way!” The 39 dollars experiment Useless news You are hurting Bush’s feelings Canada cuts of aid to the PA My Aunt, the Jews and the Tsunami! I am seeing colors Iran cracks down on bloggers The Hilton sisters cartoon show [...]
March 31st, 2006 at 9:59 pm
You are not alone, Sam. The first time I ever tracked down my biological father, I was subjected to a rambling and completely non-sensical treatise on the Global Conspiracy, and how the ev0l JOOOOZ are controlling the ev0l, baby-killing liberals and how they have taken over the UN and the banking systems and are using Hollywood to brainwash the masses into buying into the ev0l JOOOOish/liberal agenda. And the JOOOOZ are trying to usher in a New World Order and take away all of our rights as Americans and Christians. Oh, and the Holocaust? Yeah, they made that up. It’s all part of the plan! But Bush is the only politician who isn’t in league with teh ev0l JOOOOOZ and he’s going to fight against the NWO and dismantle the JOO-run UN!
Buh?
Of course, he’s a hard-core neo-con. I’ve heard some equally crazy theories from hard-core left-wingers as well. Except they aren’t related to me, so I don’t have to be embarrassed on account of their stupidity. Glad to know I’m not the only one with relatives who believe that nonsense.
I don’t have the heart to tell him I’m dating a dirty Jew. Or maybe I do. *eg*
April 2nd, 2006 at 4:46 am
Wow..and I was silently complaining about you for so long!
Have you considered pointing your aunt to the Internet?
And regarding “Jews-as-Gods”; they have a history with that you know; there was this one man who was nailed to a tree because he suggested that people should be nice to each other for a change. So I don’t blame her.
April 2nd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Oh my G-wd (
July 17th, 2006 at 1:09 am
I’m an Israeli. This was possibly the funniest rant I’ve ever read. Thanks!
Ronn
July 17th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Two things: You seem so smart… please don’t marry a cousin. Seriously, man. I know I can’t say much (Orthodox Jews tend to do it quite a bit as well) but I can only imagine what an inbred sandmonkey would look like….. ahhh mental images. Ick.
Anyway, on to us Jews controlling the weather. If we detonated a bomb, which would send a large ripple out in all directions, wouldn’t there be places hit all over not just one wave? And too, it was tourist season. Poor planning on our part. To get the maximum Muslim killing benefits, one should wait until the tourists are out and you are left with the concentrated core of resident muslims in the area. Right? Of course right. Why not. The fact that I just spent 5 minutes of my work time thinking this over and actually CONSIDERING her point (no offense, I am sure she is a lovely lady) makes me want to take a nap. Or a drink. Possibly both.
July 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am
hysterical blog post - one of the funniest i have ever read.
not sure if you’re a hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy fan, but the tsunami is obviously the work of Disaster Area, the loudest rock and roll band in the Universe, and its charismatic if intermittently dead (for tax reasons) leader Hotblack Desiato !
-s