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Tuesday, 22 Aug 2006
Given that we had 2 horrible accidents in the past 48 houres where scores of people died, and given that we have had about 3 major terrorist attacks, a couple of small ones, a ferry sinking and a couple of Busses flipping over in this past 2 years alone, I think it's time we re-evaluate our tourism industry. It is apparent that the people that come to Egypt for torusim have somewhat of a deathwish, so we should cater to that. Our tourism slogans should be alterd to cater to those people and attract them.
So, being the concernd citizen that I am, I have decided to create a number of slogans and tag lines that should be used for tourism attraction campaigns. Here is what I have so far:
"Egypt: If the terrorists won't kill you, our negligence might!"
"Wanna die? Come over!"
"Egypt: Visit once, and you might never leave!"
"Nihilists wanted!"
"Egypt: How much do you like that arm of yours?"
"You came for the tombs, you might just leave in one!"
"Egypt: Not for Pussies!"
"Dying to get here? No problem!"
"Egypt: Our Rescue workers Suck, But our Hookers swallow!"
That's all I have for now. Feel free to add your own!
August 22nd, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Well, between you guys and Russia. They keep having their planes crash. I’m sure this is just a phase. An unblemished safety record is soon to follow I’m sure.
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:08 pm
“Egypt: Learn more about the afterlife!”
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:14 pm
I always thought that was the niche market catered for by Palestinian Authorities. You think the market is growing and need a bigger player?
Well, PA main attraction to suicidal people was that by committing suicide they could take with them a number of people who, whatever happened in the past, dare to live and to fight for their lives. You cannot offer that (I hope).
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Here is one for the Arab clientele:
MASR kos OM EL DONYA!!
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Drink Once from the Nile and You Shall Always Come Back
(to feed your addiction to the lethal chemichals in the water)
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:20 pm
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/122942/nancy_ajram_epilation/
Off topic, but insane nonetheless!
August 22nd, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Sam you missed the obvious one:
“Egypt. It’s to die for!”
August 22nd, 2006 at 11:17 pm
“Egypt: From there to Eternity”
“Egypt, where Eternity was invented “
August 23rd, 2006 at 12:40 am
“Chicks dig scars.”
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:08 am
Or the “Goldi” way: Leih tei3ish bokra lama momkein teimout el naharda
August 23rd, 2006 at 2:15 am
Traffic fatalities are a major problem in Israel, too.
It’s nice to see something these partners for peace can bond over.
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:56 am
Egypt… a place of rest
Rest your ass cheeks in a hard plastic seat and grab on to your fat-ass, chip-smacking wife as you tumble down the mountain side! And, don’t forget to yell “Jesus!! Jesus!! Save me!!” as you confess to your corn-feed honey that you have been sleeping with her sister, cuz she makes the best rhubarb pie!
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:15 am
I have nothing clever to say. Just wanted to express my delight. You crack me up consistently.
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:49 am
So, you want to see a mummy?
August 23rd, 2006 at 5:11 am
“Egypt, one helluva vacation!”
“Egypt, cheaper, ’cause you don’t need a round trip ticket!”
“Egyptian hotels, you check IN, but you don’t check OUT!!”
“Dig Dead People?? Vacation: EGYPT!!”
“Feel like you’re in a ‘grave situation’? Come to Egypt!”
“For the (last) time of your life: Vacation: EGYPT!!”
“Egypt? Your Mummy loved it!”
//Vic
South San Francisco.
August 23rd, 2006 at 5:14 am
Oh come on, Egypt is much safer than most other countries for terrorist attacks. Madrid saw hundreds die in its trains, London saw 50 die in its subway, and what about New York, Bali, Casablanca, Istanbul, Moscow, etc, all premier tourist destinations.
MOst tourists to Egypt return unharmed and these recent transportation disasters have no effect on tourists. The three “big” terror attacks” killed far more Egyptians than tourists, which of course the Western media ignored completely. The ferry disaster and trains disasters affect only Egyptians, but are sad enough as they are. We should recognize the worth of Egyptians. The tour bus used for ARab Israelis was probably in bad condition and stuff, they wouldn’t put Western European tourists in that stuff.
Egypt is a country where millions of people stake their lives around tourism. Very few Egyptians support terrorists attacks on tourists. Egyptians will look out for you more than any other people in the world.
August 23rd, 2006 at 5:54 am
I agree with Mideastbeast, It isn’t as bad as you make it sound SM!
Egypt is a big country, and such accidents happen from time to time.
And you know what, it is worths the risk
August 23rd, 2006 at 6:33 am
Avoid (almost) all accidents. Come to Finland. Last time I heard that a tourist died was a couple of years back when a italian tourist lost his life in a freak accident in Lapland involving a dogsled and a train.
“Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I want to be,
Pony trekking or camping,
Or just watching TV,
Finland, Finland, Finland,
It’s the country for me.”
And so on. Thank you Monty Python.
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:04 am
Christian B, was it this incident where the dead tourist’s father turned out to be a mafioso in an Italian jail? I certainly wouldn’t like to be either the train driver or the boss of the dogsled company if I had been at all involved involved in the death of a mafioso’s child…
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:07 am
ChristianB: As soon as the Finns build some pyramids, erect some colossal temples, loot the Egyptian museum and display its contents in Helsinki, as soon as that is accomplished, I might consider going there
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:14 am
What a shame? how did our country sink to this disgusting level…..What can we do for our country? SANDMONKEY why dont’ you do something? you have great ideas, and great thoughts, get off your ass and get involved!! People like you and I need to DO IT!!
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:27 am
LOL, you are too funny!
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:52 am
Sick of your job?
Get a permanent vacation in sunny Egypt.
August 23rd, 2006 at 9:30 am
Special offer for the people dreaming of ETERNAL VACATION.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:25 am
Anon 7:07 a.m., thanks for the hints! But if we want to have a pyramid, I think we won’t turn to Egyptians but to Bosnians for advice:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bosnian_pyramids
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:41 am
I’ll throw one in for good luck:
“Egypt: we bring the Book of the Dead to life!”
However, I have to say, I’ve been to Cairo twice and to Sinai countless times, and just as terror attacks haven’t deterred me from eating in cafes here in Tel Aviv, they are unlikely to deter me from travelling anywhere in the world - and I’ll certainly be going back to Egypt some time.
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Brava SM
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:16 pm
sam, i dont feel so good reading those comments :S
makes me feel guilty for the inspiration,, REALLY !!
wasn’t what i was thinking of back then at all :S
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Nietzche on the Nile.
August 24th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Midrastbeast , lighten up already , will ye?
August 31st, 2006 at 4:55 pm
SM are you trying to affect our tourism more than it is? Egypt is safer cuase we got Mubarak troops everywhere and they know what they are doing. I think Egypt is safer than Europe. Mubarak control it so much that no one can mess with the tourists. It is safe for the tourist and please do not listen to SM, everywhere accidents do happen and YOU know that! i think SM is just another terrorist how wants to affect Egypt’s economy!! plus dont forge sand monkey is just a monkey!!!
October 5th, 2007 at 3:08 am
“Egypt: Where they perfected the imperfection !”