The Mubarak drinking game

Yesterday was Mubarak’s speech at the NDP conference, which was supposed to show surprises and shed some light on the proposed 2007 constitutional changes we keep hearing rumors about ( the one about removing judicial oversight over elections is terrifying). Given that me and Hossam were supposed to hang out even though he had to transcribe the speech for his work, we decided that we could do both by playing a Mubarak speech drinking game. The rules were simple: You drink whiskey and you take a sip everytime Mubarak says one of the following 3 words: Democracy, Reform or Future.

Holy shit did we get drunk.

Here is the tally (I kept count):

Reform was said 18 times.

Future was said 7 times.

Democracy or democratic was said twice. 2 times. That’s it.

There was  one word, however, that kept popping about 40 times, and that word was “constitutional”. And even though it was self evident we should’ve included it to our drinking game, I kind of thank god we didn’t: We were drinking whiskey, people!

That aside, I found it interesting that the word constitution had totally replaced the word democracy in the NDP vocabulary. Every other sentence had the word constitutional in it. Oh well, I guess that’s the “new direction”. We are, after all, a democracy now, No?

There was also a “no talk about the war on terror should be held without examening its causes” speech, which seemed to imply that the key to stop terrorism was the middle-east peace process (cause that’s the cause and not the recruitment tool, get it?), which we know is Mubarak’s little niche. The Message he sent the americans was clear: You can’t win without peace in the ME, and I am the peace guy, so you better take off the heat off of me and mind your own business.  Get that you imperialist pigs?

Last but not least, more as an added bonus really, there was one word that got utterd 3 times during that speech. The N word. Nuclear.

Yep, Mubarak has just announced that Egypt’s new energy priority would be seeking Nuclear energy. Cause you see, it’s our right to have it, just like Iran.

Nevermind that taking care of the railroad is kicking our ass, we cand handle Uranium enrichment. And shit, if we end up having a chernobel-like accident that kills thousands and left millions sterile, look at the bright side: Population Control! Wink

Welcome to a nuclear middle-east everyone.

Comments

  1. The Raccoon says:

    Ye Gods. Is Mubarak going for the Persian Gambit (the viler and more belligerent the state, the more bribes it gets)?

    Even he must surely know that this will explode sooner rather than later. Iran will either attack or be attacked.

    If the first will happen – that is, Israel will be incinerated – and Egypt has nukes or is suspected of having nukes, Israeli second-strike retaliation will destroy the Aswan High Dam in addition to various targets in Egypt (as well as turn most of the Middle East and North Africa into a radioactive wasteland populated by dormant Ebola viruses or Q-fever infected goats or something).

    If the second will happen, it’ll mean that the age of appeasement is over and some 20+ nukes have been dropped on various locations in Iran. No appeasement policy + Egypt threatening to develop nukes = bye bye, Egypt.

    He comes up with this shit as Egyptians clamor for war with Israel, Ikhwan are trying to turn everyone into either dead people or Islamofascist drones? While Sudan is apparently reaching a new peak of violent psychosis? While the world is starting to ponder maybe just sort of destroying Islam altogether on one hand or maybe surrendering to Islamofascist slavery on the other?

    What on Earth is the man thinking to himself – “yeah, let’s make sure we’re absolutely and totally fucked no matter what the future brings!”?

  2. Let me see if I understand it right. Egypt, by constitution, is a democracy. However, it doesn’t have to be a democracy. As soon as its constitutional.

    Somehow doesn’t surprise me at all. After “dispropotional” response failed to stop missiles firing, and a lot of other nonsense.

    However, one fact: democracy only works when there is not much to decide. Do you want 25% tax or 55%, unemployment benefit forever or for 6 months, higher education free of interest-free loan. That’s all very important when you do not have to decide implement Sharia or not, fight MBs or accept their rule, kill apostates or respect their choice.

    Democracy works then the losing side can live with that, when election loss is not the end of the world. I don’t see that in Egypt. Actually, some people are trying to loose that in US…

  3. i think it’s about time to colonize the moon. because we are now officially fuct. maybe the UN will actually have a chance of stopping egypt from developing nukes just like they stopped iran……..wait a minute….. yup i’m for the moon.

  4. What’s wrong with Egypt seeking Nuclear energy? I believe it’s a must.

  5. “What’s wrong with Egypt seeking Nuclear energy? I believe it’s a must.”

    Perhaps it’s because anything “nuclear” is a fucking dangerous thing to leave within aquisition distance of most of the absolutely, batshit crazy, frothing at the mouth Islamists in many of the nations of the middle east?.

    If we didn’t have these people in the world who have professed to be quite happy to wipe entire nations off the face of the planet, namely Israel but preferably every Western, non Muslim nation in their eyes, then I’m sure all our nations would be happy to help them develop their nuclear energy programmes. It would build bridges between our peoples, move energy production technology forward in those nations and indeed would be a good thing overall for the people.

    But let’s face facts. These nations, Egypt included, sadly have far too many of these fucking Islamist idiots that would seek to use this technology to blow up the first poor bastard to so much as look sideways funny at the Koran.

    It’s a shame, ‘cos I’m sure that the Egyptian people could benefit from nuclear energy, but there are a lot of Egyptians who are right off the opposite end of the scale to Sam where it comes to simply getting along with people of different nationalities and religions. I refer you to my first paragraph.

    Take a look at Pakistan. Enabled with nuclear weapons. I’m watching Bush and Musharraf holding a press conference right now and acting very friendly toward eachother. Say what you think about Musharraf, but his government has control of those weapons and they aren’t about to let them get under the control of any loony Islamist party. The second there is any hint that a coup happens and those weapons fall under hostile control is the second Pakistan disappears ‘cos those nutters will, without a shadow of a doubt, use them on the first bunch of infidels they pick by sticking a pin in a list. India will probably be the one to do it, ‘cos they won’t take any risks, but they’ll be lobbing nukes at Pak from all sides if the situation goes too far.

    Admittedly, Nuclear energy is not the same as nuclear weaponry, but it’s the first step towards getting them. I for one wouldn’t trust one single nation with a nuclear programme while it has so many people within it’s borders that don’t give a shit for human life as countries in the Middle East do.

  6. I would’ve enjoyed that drinking game with you and Hossam!

    Although, I think you guys are “sally’s” for not including “constitutional” in your game…I could’ve done it :)

    BTW, what good is the term, “constitutional” if your constitution is fatally flawed??

    Century club, anyone?

  7. It makes perfect sense.
    Big nuclear accident=nuclear fallout on the region=nuclear fallout on Israel. It’s like national suicide bombing.
    Errr…I meant resistance.
    Genius.

  8. i don’t think the world has to worry, we can’t even use the current weapons that we have to successfully win a war on our own. HAs egypt in its entire history ever won a war, actually? Put things in context and they don’t seem that scary.

  9. Hey clear, I think the last war we won was when we expelled the Hykos from the country around 1500 B.C. We kicked their asses!

    I can’t help but think that Jimmy Muburak is trying to gain popular support with statements like that. The U.S. ambassador to Egypt agreed with Gamal that the U.S. would be willing to help develp Egypt’s peaceful use of nuclear energy.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/21/AR2006092100185.html

    Jimmy probably is trying to leverage the fact that this is an issue that the Ikhwan/Islamists cannot play. If they come to power there’s obviously no way that the U.S. would help them develp nuclear energy unless the U.S. is interested in self-destruction, which I don’t think it is.

    It’s a political move and a smart one at that. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.

    After I made my crack on the Egyptian constitution, in post 6, I found this article:

    http://www.news24.com/News24/Africa/News/0,,2-11-1447_2002375,00.html

    Here’s a little sampling:

    “Mubarak spoke of strengthening Egypt’s notoriously weak political parties, but didn’t address a top opposition demand: ending constitutional controls on the formation of new parties, which must be approved by a government body.”

    Sounds like a good idea, right? After all, Egypt’s political parties are pathetic. Egypt needs new political leaders with fresh ideas.

    But then here’s the kicker:

    “Lifting the rules on political parties would likely open the door for Mubarak’s top rivals, the Muslim Brotherhood – which was Egypt’s most powerful opposition group, but was banned – to gain legal status.”

    DAMNED IF YOU DAMNED IF YOU DON’T. What’s one to do?

  10. @Wishbone:

    Yes, I get all that. The crazy Islamists who wants to blow up America, Israel and maybe the whole West. But I think it’s kind of unfair to prevent Egypt from Nuclear energy because of this people. Egypt is an ally to the west in the middle east after all. Politically, we are moderate and those crazy are not in control when it comes to our decisions concerning our relations with the different countries.
    There’s crazy ppl everywhere. I’m sure there’s Americans who wants to blow up the whole middle east but that never affected the any American decision, right? that’s the whole point

    Egypt will need Nuclear energy sooner or later.

  11. Joey-

    Don’t get me wrong mate. If it seemed as though I were lumping every Middle East national into the “Barking Mad Islamists” catagory, then I should have been more even handed and for that I’ll apologise to anyone here who may have been offended by that.

    I personally would like to see Egypt get the technological advancements that the West are privy to. It’s just that in the present climate, one has to wonder how safe these technologies would be in places where one good coup could hand them to the nutters that would use them for evil purposes.

    I personally wonder what’s happening over there sometimes. I read posts here all the time and it’s only now and then that I get some hint or clue that people are actually living in the countries we’re discussing. Other than that, any of you reads no different than any one of the other lads and girls down the pub.

    Except SM of course. He’d be the one we kept having to move the JD bottle away from and dragging him away from the barmaids :)

    I hope beyond hope each and every day that those “Nutters” just don’t go and fuck it all up for the rest of you.

  12. @Wishbone:

    Of course I wasn’t offended by your words. I understand your point of view and I know it’s not safe with all things going on recently. I was just trying to say that Egypt is no Iran, you know? Just felt that the comparison SM made up there was unfair. But yes, I’m of course worried about who might take over and miss-use it just like you.

  13. Nice drinking game concerning Bush would be on the words freedom and democracy :)

  14. Hossam did report being totally shit-faced at the end of it..hehe. For a Bush drinking game, a few years ago, some friends and I swigged at the words “strong” and “nation” and “turrrsm” (terrorism) and “evil” in his State of the Union speech – we were very tipsy indeed in about half an hour.

  15. Stability has it’s advantages over democracy. Egypt, sadly, has none of these, so allowing it to develop weapons-grade nuclear ability would be irresponsible.

  16. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I’d like to announce that I too would like to develop nuclear capabilities, right here, in my backyard.

  17. The Raccoon says:

    joey – nuclear energy is a BAD idea in general. These reactors need incredibly stingent maintainment standards if you don’t want them to go all critical and, say, wipe out Cairo.

    In a country like Egypt (lots of open deserts) wind and/or solar would make much more sense both economically (it’s much, much cheaper and easier) and environmentally. Not to mention that it won’t get a certain neighbor all edgy and pointing Jericho II missiles at Mubarak’s home.

    Nowadays, when a state that is not widely renowned for its sanity, tolerance, high professional standards and peacefulness seeks nuclear energy it’s kind of… fucking stupid. It’s suicidal. It’s like a 5-years old getting an old Uzi with a really sensitive trigger.

  18. SUPER game fe3lan and the post was great :)

    as for mentioning nuclear power and all that- its about time aslan…we need to get with the program and decrease our population tremendously! ;)

  19. The Usual Suspect says:

    Nice game.
    Why don’t you try the same thing with one of George Bush’s speeches SM.
    Take a swig for each time he says freedom, democracy, civilisation’s fight and war on terror.
    But be careful, you could end up with alcohol poisoning!

  20. i luv egypt says:

    First time ever i agree with SM. SHIIIT if we cant handle some trains to actually drive on the right track, i dont think we can handle any Nuclear Plants. And playing the drinking game on Bush try to sip on beer everytime he says “WE WILL SMOKE THEM OUT”

  21. The Raccoon Says:”In a country like Egypt (lots of open deserts) wind and/or solar would make much more sense both economically (it’s much, much cheaper and easier) and environmentally. Not to mention that it won’t get a certain neighbor all edgy and pointing Jericho II missiles at Mubarak’s home.”

    Egypt is even blessed with the Qatara depression – one of the rare parts of the world which is below sea level. For about 100 years there has been a plan to cut a canal from the sea to the Depression. The Depression woul gradually fill and you could generate electricity as in any other hydro-electric power station. And this is the good bit – the sun would evaporate the water and so as long as you do not let too much in, you could keep generating very large amounts of power indefinitely. Or at least until the Depression fills with salt. The technology is low and within Egypt’s reach. The engineering is simple as it only requires a 40-odd mile canal through flat-ish land. But of course it is not as sexy as nuclear power.

  22. I have a sneaking suspicion that Americans now view any one who promises peace in the Middle East to be fomenters of war and are to be totally ignored on the subject.