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Thursday, 9 Nov 2006
Inspired by this.
Now that the democrats control both house and senate, and promising a new direction that will change the world as we know it (even though they won't let people know how they will do that), i figure it's time that we set some realistic (wink wink nudge nudge) expectations of the fantasically ideal world filled with sunshine and puppies that their leadership will bring us all. Here is my forecast of the future:
1) People the world over will realize that they are brothers and all war will end.
2) The world is going to love the US after they instate the new "let's pay the world some money so that they can love us again" tax.
3) Kim Jung Il will agree to give up his nukes after a long heart to heart bonding session with Hillary, where he will admit his need for nukes to make up for his small penis and Hillary will cheer him up with a fantastic rendition of "Don't worry, be happy".
4) Pelosi will represent her miracle solution for Iraq, which will get all the factions there to drop their weapons and hug, while crying over all the bad things they have done to each other because of Bush and his evil neocon friends, who made them secterian, crazy and bloodthursty.
5) The US will no longer support Israel, giving the aid money to Hammas instead, and the evil Jooz will have to compromise and leave all of palestine and move to Long Island, where they will be amongst their peoples. And the palestinians won't fight amongst themselves over power. No sir. Not gonna happen.
6) And finally, after lifting the ban on cloning, the scientists will figure out a way to clone unicorns with super healing powers, which will make health care really cheap, and they will also be able to fly, which will end the US dependency on evil arab oil.
What are yours? Include them in the comment section!
November 9th, 2006 at 9:38 am
7) The US will sign the Kyoto protocol and the environment will be clean again by magic, even though neither India nor China have to do anything.
9) The US will stop interfering with middle-eastern countries, will stop giving money to Egypt, and suddenly all Egyptians will be rich and happy.
10) Iraq will be peaceful again as Shi’ites and Sunnis realise that the only reason they were killing each other was because the US didn’t want them to.
November 9th, 2006 at 10:26 am
7) In a desperate move, the Americans will name Gamal Moubarak President of Iraq
9) It will be revealed that Don Rumsfeld was having a secret affair with Hilary Clinton. He will be her running mate in 08
November 9th, 2006 at 10:36 am
Isn’t this what was supposed to have happened right after the invasion of Iraq?
November 9th, 2006 at 10:57 am
I suppose protectionism will be on, subventions to american enterprises, and forget (a litle) to Haliburton
November 9th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
As Friedman once said : “Bush is radio-active : everyone in this world hates him”.
November 9th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
You went off your meds again, didn’t you? Here, open up. Open up. Swallow these nice pills and you’ll feel all better soon.
November 9th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
K, don’t you realize that it already happened after the war in Iraq? The world is now at peace, all is freedom and democracy in the Middle East, but the scary scary Democrats will now undo all the massive flowering of democracy that has happened in the last 3 years. I think it’s understandable that sandmonkey is upset that the world will no longer be led in the direction of STILL GREATER FREEDOM by the enlightened Republican policy of pretending to give a shit about democracy while thrashing around like an octopus on acid, instead being sentenced to the benighted Democratic policy of pretending to give a shit about democracy while not doing much of anything.
November 9th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Isn’t this what was supposed to have happened right after the invasion of Iraq?
There was some speculation over the whole Unicorn thing but it seems to have worked out
November 9th, 2006 at 1:01 pm
And the World Pride parade will be moved from Jerusalem, where it doesn’t seem to be happening, simultaneously to Baghdad, Cairo, Beirut, and Damascus.
November 9th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
11) Keith Elison will be the first black and first Muslim president of the USA
12) Gay marriage will increase by 50%.
13) Hillary will cheat on Bill with Keith Elison
14) Abortion will be available and encouraged
15) Bush will divorce Laura and marry Oprah Winfrey
16) Bin Laden will apologize to America and the American left will forgive him in a special reception welcoming him and his 12 wives at the statue of Liberty.
17) Monica Lewinski will give him a blow job.
18) Drima will get free cotton candy
Crap, I’m bored…
November 9th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
19) The sore losers are going crazy
November 9th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
19) All hurricanes will reduce their strength to sunshowers once they get within 50 miles of shore.
20) Rainbows. Every day.
21) Life expectancy will double.
22) A light beer that tastes good will be developed.
23) AIDS vanquished. Massive orgy ensues.
24) All crack and meth addicts will quit drugs and go to college to get degrees in Women’s studies.
November 9th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
what a wonderful world, god bless reborn America !
November 9th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
“thrashing around like an octopus on acid, ”
That image had me rolling on the floor!
November 9th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
The bunnies! I forgot the fluffy bunnies!
November 9th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
lol, well said Tom.
November 9th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
1. Walt Brown will crack Harry Potter’s genetic code winning the Nobel prize for bullshit.
2. Little Green Footballs will be renamed Huge Green Bollicks winning the Nobel prize for getting wise after the event.
3. Galactic red shift will show that America is even further from the centre of the universe than Douglas Adams thought it was.
4. Third world countries will heave a sigh of relief - followed by all other countries.
November 9th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Is SM a Freeper in disguise?
November 9th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
what disguise?
November 9th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
25. The crippled will walk, the paralyzed will become gymnasts, the blind will see, and the deaf will hear.
26. Anyone who refers to these populations as “crippled”, “paralyzide”, “blind” and “deaf” will be sent to Gitmo, replacing the current detainees who will become disneyland cast members.
27. Drudge will reveal that Rumsfield’s departure was occasioned by the discovery that he is Howard Dean’s secret gay lover.
November 9th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Nope. You pretty much have it right. Oh, Rangel said this morning that the tax system is gonna change. I was keeping far too much of my hard-earned money anyways. I’m sure they will give it to someone who deserves it more than me. Perhaps someone who was abused as a child or faced discrimination. Puppies and sunshine all right!
November 9th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
The Democrats will learn to smile more (and maybe even learn to tell jokes), instead of being the grinches that stole every day.
November 9th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Hey, does ANYONE else find it hysterical that EVERY SINGLE terrorist sympathizer or supporter, their friends, family or whatever are all rooting on the DEMOCRATS????? Every single one of them.
If you don’t believe me just go looks around the blogosphere.
That, to me, is VERY VERY telling and indicative of the Democratic party’s policies!
BIG mistake America.
November 9th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Anonymused
Think you’ll find that there are many who dislike terrorists and neocons in equal measure - because of their similarities.
November 9th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
28. AIDS will be cured.
29. The homeless will magically find work and homes.
30. All floods, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, sandstorms, etc will cease until the Republicans regain the Congress and Senate.
31. There will be no more need to lock your door.
32. There will be no more crime, drug use, alcolism, etc.
33. I will find someone that loves me. LOL.
NOT! Drima, you crack me up. Nice to read you outside of your site.
November 9th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Big expectations leads to big disappointments.
November 9th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Exactly Anonymused! In 24 hours so far Kim Jung Il has announced that inspecting ships to and from NK is a violation of the ceasefire of the Korean war, Hammas has announced that the cease fire with Isreal is over and AlQuada is said to be in celebration knowing their next attack will work.
I’ve got to tell you, the funniest thing I heard standing in line to vote was 2 women both with a combined IQ of 100 talking about voting the “smart way” meaning for the donks, add in both having speech impediments and you can see how the fifth columns propaganda worked. The good news is that those who wanted this live in the places most volunerable to attacks.
How long until they cure cancer like Boxer promised in a speech about stem cells if they were elected?
November 9th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
Why RocketRay are you from DU?
November 9th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
28. The US, seeing its responsibility to the entire world to bring peace and goodwill, will wave its magic wand in the general direction of Darfur, and the whole region will lay down its weapons, hold hands, and sing “Kumbaya.” No troops, no money, just the wand.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
annamouse,
“The good news is that those who wanted this live in the places most volunerable to attacks.”
Hey! I resemble that remark!
I’m working on a script fot “The Care Bears Take Back the Senate” right now.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
“a combined IQ of 100″
Seems like the mice are jealous !
November 9th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
The fools do not know bush is still in charge. The veto will be used to keep them in some sort of line. The US will survive this because it was a peaceful change of government. I was worried that Bush would get another Surpreme court position and this pretty much says He has to choose a middle of the roader.
I believe in my President and his fight to keep us safe, the new members from the democrats do not appear the rabid dogs as are the leadership Dems.
I think they have a whole lot to prove to the average American. And only two years to do it. I did not vote for GWB in 2000 but I’m sure was greatful he was President in 2001.
I see the middleeast as a loser all the way around, until they begin to educate all their people and love life more than death. Learn that women give them life and deserve the respect of all males.
Election night I had the first drinks I have had since last Christmas. By morning I realized that we survived 40 years with the Democrats in charge and we will survive this. Nancy will soon become the most hated person in America and Rangel will be competing for first place. The new Congressmen will have to get a handle on them or else in 2008 we will see them lose.
Sandmonkey I have read your blog for so long I can not remember when I started and You and your fellow bloggers give me hope for a better future. May your love of life spread through the entir middle east as well as your good sense.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
With federal support for embryonic stem cell research Michael J. Fox will be cured of Alzheimers.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
# 21 annamouse Says:
November 9th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
“add in both having speech impediments”
Interesting …
That was one (of many criteria) that Hitler used to exclude people from the electoral process.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Off the subject…but too good not to post:
The Mystery of Hate
>> by Yair Lapid
>>
>> Hundreds of years of fighting, six and a half wars, billions of
>> dollars gone with the wind, tens of thousands of victims, not
>> including the boy who laid down next to me on the rocky beach of lake
>> Karon in 1982 and we both watched his guts spilling out. The
>> helicopter took him and until this day I do not know whether he is
>> dead or survived. All this, and one cannot figure it out.
>>
>> And its not only what happened but all that did not happen -
>> hospitals that were never built, universities that were never opened,
>> roads that were never paved, the three years that were taken from
>> millions of teenagers for the sake of the army. And despite all the
>> above, we still do not have the beginning of a clue to the mystery of
>> where it all started:
>>
>> Why do they hate us so much?
>>
>> I am not talking about the Palestinians this time. Their dispute
>> with us is intimate, focused, and it has a direct effect on their
>> lives. Without getting into the “which side is right” question, it is
>> obvious that they have very personal reasons not to stand our
>> presence here. We all know that eventually this is how it will be
>> solved: in a personal way, between them and us, with blood sweat and
>> tears that will stain the pages of the agreement. Until then, it is a
>> war that could at least be understood, even if no sane person is
>> willing to accept the means that are used to run it by.
>>
>> It is the others. Those I cannot understand. Why does Hassan
>> Nasralla, along with tens of thousands of his supporters, dedicate
>> his life, his visible talents, his country’s destiny, to fight a
>> country he has never even seen, people he has never really met and an
>> army that he has no reason to fight?
>>
>> Why do children in Iran, who can not even locate Israel on the
>> map (especially because it is so small), burn its flag in the city
>> center and offer to commit suicide for its elimination? Why do
>> Egyptian and Jordanian intellectuals agitate the innocent and
>> helpless against the peace agreements, even though they know that
>> their failure will push their countries 20 years back? Why are the
>> Syrians willing to stay a pathetic and depressed third world country,
>> for the dubious right to finance terror organizations that will
>> eventually threaten their own country’s existence? Why do they hate
>> us so much in Saudi-Arabia? In Iraq? In Sudan? What have we done to
>> them? How are we even relevant to their lives? What do they know
>> about us? Why do they hate us so much in Afghanistan? They don’t have
>> anything to eat there, where do they get the energy to hate?
>>
>> This question has so many answers and yet it is a mystery. It is
>> true that it is a religious matter but even religious people make
>> their choices. The Koran (along with the Shariaa - the Muslim
>> parallel to the Jewish Halacha) consists of thousands of laws, why is
>> it that we occupy them so much?
>>
>> There are so many countries who gave them much better reasons to
>> be angry. We did not start the crusades, we did not rule them during
>> the colonial period, we never tried to convert them. The Mongolians,
>> the Seljuk, the Greeks, the Romans, the Crusaders, the Ottomans, the
>> British, they all conquered, ruined and plundered the whole region.
>> We did not even try, so how come we are the enemy?
>>
>> And if it is identification with their Palestinians brothers then
>> where are the Saudi Arabian tractors building up the territories that
>> were evacuated? What happened to the Indonesian delegation building a
>> school in Gaza strip? Where are the Kuwaiti doctors with their modern
>> surgical equipment? There are so many ways to love your brothers, why
>> do they all prefer to help their brothers with hating?
>>
>> Is it something that we do? Fifteen hundreds years of
>> anti-Semitism taught us - in the most painful way possible - that
>> there is something about us that irritates the world. So, we did the
>> thing everyone wanted: we got up and left. We have established our
>> own tiny little country, where we can irritate ourselves without
>> interrupting others. We didn’t even ask a lot for it. Israel is
>> spread on a smaller territory than 1% of the territory of
>> Saudi-Arabia, with no oil, no minerals, without settling on another
>> existing state’s territory. Most of the cities that were bombed this
>> week were not plundered from anyone. Nahariya, Afula, and Karmiel did
>> not even exist until we established them. The other katyusas landed
>> on territories over which no one ever questioned our right with
>> regards to them. In Haifa there were Jews already in the 3rd century
>> BC and Tiberias was the place where the last Sanhedrin sat, so no one
>> can claim we plundered them from anyone.
>>
>> However, the hatred continues. As if no other destiny is
>> possible. Active hatred, poisoned, unstoppable. Last Saturday the
>> president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, called again “to act for the
>> vanishing of Israel”‘ as if we were bacteria. We got used to it so
>> much that we don’t even ask why.
>>
>> Israel does not hope and never did for Iran to vanish. As long as
>> they wanted, we had diplomatic relations with them. We do not have a
>> common border with them or even any bad memories. And still, they are
>> willing to confront the whole western world, to risk a commercial
>> boycott, to hurt their own quality of life, to crush what’s left of
>> their economy and all that for the right to passionately hate us.
>>
>> I am trying to remember and cannot: have we ever done something
>> to them? When? How? Why did he say in his speech that “Israel is the
>> main problem of the Muslim world”? more than a billion people living
>> in the Muslim world, most of them in horrible conditions. They suffer
>> from hunger, poverty, ignorance, bloodshed that spreads from Kashmir
>> to Kurdistan, from dying Darfur to injured Bangladesh. How come we
>> are the main problem? How exactly are we in their way?
>>
>> I refuse to accept the argument that claims “that is just the way
>> they are”. They said it about us so many times that we have learned
>> to accept this _expression. There must be another reason, some dark
>> secret that because of it, the citizens of South Lebanon allow to
>> rouse the quiet border, to kidnap the soldiers of an army that has
>> already retreated from their territory, to turn their country into a
>> wasteland exactly at the time they finally escaped twenty years of
>> disasters.
>>
>> We got used to telling ourselves worn expressions - “it’s the
>> Iranian influence”, or “Syria is stirring behind the scenes” - but it
>> is just too easy explanation. Because what about them?
>>
>> What about their thoughts?
>> What about their hopes, loves, ambitions and their dreams?
>> What about their children?
>> When they send their children to die, does it seem enough for
>> them to say that it was all worth while just because they hate us so
>> much?
November 9th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Howie - I favour the social psychosis theory in this matter. You could ask the same thing about Europeans…
PS - the original Hebrew martial art, from the Jews that served as bodyguards of the Arabian Kings: abirwarriorarts.com
November 9th, 2006 at 8:04 pm
whats most amazing that there still that many retards voting for Republicans
truly amazing!
I’m also very curious about what will happen to Bush’s poodle, Blair. There is a silent panic in London, there are no more orders coming from Washington, The Commander has forgotten about his petdog in Albion.
November 9th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
W,
Now that you called me a retard, I can see the error in my ways. If only I had been called that before election day. I stand in awe of your rhetorical brilliance.
November 9th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
#12 BrooklynJon
“22) A light beer that tastes good will be developed.”
Now come on mate, you’re just bein’ silly now. You know they’re gonna have to crack unified field theory first to achieve this.
#37 Wolfhard
What silent panic? . For want of anything better to do, Labour has just gone back to doing what it’s used to : Being fucking useless.
Of course, considering you couldn’t get a cigarette paper between them and the Conservatives right now, it’s not as if we have any better options.
November 9th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
Wolfhard,
Right on the money
November 9th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
They had a similar contest at Ace of Spades. You can check out some of the results there such as:
(Posted by “christopher reeves.”)
(Posted by “Planned Parenthood.”)
(Posted by “Michael J. Fox.”)
(Posted by “Osama bin Laden.”)
(Posted by “soccer.”)
(Posted again by “Christopher Reeves” on another thread.)
More here:
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/204392.php
November 9th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Some music, recommended by an Ace of Spade reader, for the New Age:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omij_EUL4W8
November 10th, 2006 at 12:20 am
I do not really think that anyone in the USA is think that the Democrats are going to creat a whole new world, let alone a whole new USA. People here just knew it was time for a change and unfortunately we live in a country with ony 2 parties, so the Dems were the only real game in town.
The USA is powerful but it is not God. It cant change the world. We influence the world for good and bad, but fact of the matter is the future of other countries is in the hands of thier people. Sadly, the people of the Muslim world endow the USA with supernatural powers, though they see our influence for evil not good. I say the bad is permitted to happen far too often in thier world because they refuse to fight the courrpt Despots that run thier nations. You and others may not like the fact the the Dems have power, but at least we live in a place where we can vote and the vote means something.
The Dems will do what they do, God willing they will decide to do something NOONE has done in the USA since 1994, GOVERN and not spend this opportunity getting payback on the Republicans.
The people have spoken and I thank God I live in a place where that can happen. I said that even when I didnt like what the people said.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:26 am
One more thing…if the Dems dont choose to actually govern, and we choose to turn a blind eye to thier malfeasance, as too many of us did when the Bush administration took away our rights in the name of “security”, well we like the Muslims who blame everything on the Joos and the USA,… dont have a damn thing to say when we are in the same place, or worse in 2 years. The are not our rulers, they are our REPRESENTATIVES!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:36 am
First of I want to thank chellebelle_mn for his/her reasonable response to all the above silliness. Second, I want to say how surprised I am by the fact that everyone else who reads this page besides me seems to rabidly and blindly support republicans, or maybe just really hate the dems. Thirdly, and most importantly, I would like to say that the republicans got their asses handed to them yesterday, and all you cry-babies can’t handle it.
I am loving this. You can whine all you like about how the left is full of idealistic, yet terrorist-loving testicle-less whimps, but you guy sure look like pussies to me, crying like you are. Corrupt, secretive, arrogant politics got a slap on the wrist, and the party in power lost their power, as will the dems when they get too fat from the trough. You lost. Deal with it.
Sandmonkey– Just because you’re wrong, doesn’t mean you’re not hilarious.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:51 am
Dointha Bulldance - for God’s Sakes lighten up! Can’t you see we’re having fun over here?? In case you hadn’t noticed you are on a “an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey” blog. Nobody said you had to come here.
If you don’t like our “silliness,” go crow with the Dems!! But before you go, in how many countries do you think a losing party would celebrate their losses with visions of bunnies and rainbows? Anyplace in the ME, for instance? Think about it. (Actually, not even in the Democratic Party…)
November 10th, 2006 at 1:48 am
I’ve read a lot of blogs today, spoke to a lot of people. No one was a cry-baby, not even really bitter. Most just said they were going to continue working to get the Repubs to do what their base wanted. The old Repub values of a smaller government, a stronger Military and secure borders.
And no new taxes.
Papa Ray
November 10th, 2006 at 1:54 am
The Iranians will have 2 more years to build their bomb without interference. The Saudis will pay Pakistan to build a nuclear deterrent. The Sunni/Shiite conflict will escalate into a nuclear exchange in 3 or 4 years time, thus eliminating the worlds problem with Islam (and causing a world recession by eliminating a third of the worlds supply).
Thank you America for electing a Democrat House and Senate! You solved the Muslim problem!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:01 am
chellebelle_mn and Dointha Bulldance obivioulsy neither of you are old enough to remember the 40 years of hellish democratic rule where no one governed? HMMMM I thought having your asses handed to you needed a landslide or two? I saw none of that anywhere in any of the races? Everything was in the 3-4% range. What that means is a whole lot of conservative sat at home to punish the Republicans, cutting their noses off to spite their faces. In that 40 years they almost did destroy the country. Anyone remember Jimmy Carter the worst president we ever had.
No I don’t blindly follow anyone but I’m old enough now to know the difference between BS and the truth. Forget everything the donks told you before the election, it was all BS. They will now show you everything they said about Iraq before they authorized it. Forget all about the trumped up ethics violations they are all guilty of the same thing! Remember the $90K in the freezer? The donks were serving propangda BS and you ate it. No impeachment, the bill was withdrawn this afternoon, no troop withdrawl nothing they told you they would do will be done. It was all about them and their power nothing to do with anything else. God help us all.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:04 am
howie, the “Mystery of Hate” was well-worth reading. Thanks for sharing that. I’ve wondered about it long and hard, too.
BrooklynJon - “Hey! I resemble that remark!” My favorite MarxBro-like comeback for a long while! Did you make that up? Can I use it?
Racoon! Hugs for you! No one has mentioned kitties yet. And you only like bunnies in a friendly way, right?
Drima, here’s a little taste of TTC (things to come): cotton candy! America celebrates Cotton Candy day on December 7th, did you know that? It used to be called fairy floss. Uhhh, nevermind. (Slap my face)
Papa Ray - I have some favorite milblogs and everyone there was gentlemanly, accepting and ready to get to work, too. We’ll make the best of whatever we’re dealt. We’ll do our best to make lemonade - it’s the American Way. No one can say the Repubs were whiners, right? And the Dems were gracious. We’ll see how long it lasts, but hooray for the peaceful Election Day and the smooth transferrance of power. Makes me proud.
Sandmonkey, thanks for the fun!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:10 am
???
“They will now show you everything they said about Iraq before they authorized it.”
They’d better not. IMHO, that’s not why they were elected and they know it. I’m looking forward to this. It should be very interesting. My major worry is Iraq. Murtha is already driving me up the wall.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:38 am
Bec,
I didn’t make it up. It’s all yours.
On to politicsL
The liberal wing of the Democrat party is taking it as a national mandate for a swing to leftyville. The truth is that most of the Dems elected in close races were generally moderate to conservative. The Freshman Dems are quite unlike their leadership. So it could be an interesting ride for the Democrats. In any event, the left wing will likely take it as a mandate to put forward a fringe nominee for President.
The Democrats will now be forced to govern, which is a lot harder than whining on Meet The Press. In ‘08, they will have a record that can be run against. If Iraq is still a hell hole, that will be their problem, too.
Divided government can do a lot less than unified government. And the government that governs least governs best.
Joe Lieberman will own the Senate.
chellebelle_mn and Dointha Bulldance, you probably perceive me as an ideological enemy (although I’ve voted for the Democratic Presidential nominee in three of the last four elections). But as far as Conservatives are concerned (not the Pat Robertson bible-thumpers, but mainstream conservatives), this is pretty much a win-win-win-win.
Rudy in ‘08!
November 10th, 2006 at 3:10 am
1. $500 minimum wage will be inroduced in the States.
2. Everyone will rejoice and only good things will result from it. Tax income will rocket and the budget will be balanced.
3. The US will give up on the moral foreign policy idea and the neocons will lose out.
4. The US will team up with Iran and Syria to sort out Iraq.
5. Iran will build nuclear weapons and pass them around to friends.
6. Iran will use it’s nuclear weapons only for peaceful purposes. So will Al Qaeda.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:11 am
“America celebrates Cotton Candy day on December 7th”
I want I want… Yaaaammmmeee… I LOVE cotton candy but now I eat it in private… It’s too embarassing for a 20 year old to go buy it and eat it in public…
On another note, you know what else I want?? I want to see snow… I’ve NEVER seen snow in my life…
November 10th, 2006 at 4:34 am
Drima-
Snow is beautiful when it falls gently. Tends to beat the hell out of a sandstorm I’ll tell you what.
November 10th, 2006 at 4:46 am
BrooklynJon, the freshman to watch is going to be Webb. I gurantee he will alienate everyone and be respected for doing it by the public. It’s going to be sweet.
November 10th, 2006 at 5:14 am
35. People will finally admit that the JEWS invented algebra, the university and hommus.
36. Iran will find a leader with a personality
37. Ariel Sharon will wake from his coma, report he met Jesus, convert to Christianity and start a non-violent, pacifist movement in Israel
38. Arafat will wake from the dead, report he met Jesus, and apologize to all the under aged boys he butt-fucked. He will take 300 hundred million dollars from his Swiss bank account and donate it towards the Gay Rights parade in Jerusalem
39. Starbucks will start selling really good Turkish coffee
40. My wife will finally stop telling me to be careful not to wake her during sex.
41. God will finally announce that the one true revealed religion is Drusism.
42. All men will find it easy to get laid or is it layed.
43. All oral college exams will actually mean sex.
November 10th, 2006 at 5:17 am
Dointha Bulldunce,
I am loving this. You can whine all you like about how the left is full of idealistic, yet terrorist-loving testicle-less whimps, but you guy sure look like pussies to me, crying like you are.
Who is crying? We are having a little good-natured fun. At least we aren’t threatening to assassinate anyone or threatening to riot in the streets as some Dems were threatening if they didn’t win this last election. Nor are we claiming that the Dems are planning, bwahahahahaha, death camps for their opponents:
http://hotair.com/archives/2006/11/08/ted-rall-democratic-victory-a-disaster/
It looks like Pelosi may already have to break one of her first promises - and she isn’t even seated yet.
http://hotair.com/archives/2006/11/09/natl-journal-dems-have-no-plan-yet-for-pelosis-911-commission-pledge/
One piece of good news is that inept Mehlman is out as RNC chairman and Mike “Cold” Steele may be taking his place. I’m crossing my fingers. It would be nice to have a black man pimp slap DNC chairman Howard Dean (a pasty white guy from one of the most pasty white states in the Union, Vermont), who once had the audacity to say, “you think the Republican National Committee could get this many people of color in a single room? Only if they had the hotel staff in here.”
http://hotair.com/archives/2006/11/08/steele-as-rnc-chair/
November 10th, 2006 at 6:14 am
Sorry Moonbats. You won’t be seeing much in the way of changes in foreign policy. The Dems won and the Repubs lost because they both ignored their base. If the Dems want to continue to win, they’ll stay where they are - center right. Otherwise, they’re gone in 2008.
Almost all of the Repubs who lost were RINOs, and almost all of the Dems who won are more conservative than their leadership. The candidates who ran solely on the war lost. America remains more center-right than before.
Basically the public wanted a change in how the war was run, not a retreat. Look at what actually happened, not at what the New York Times says about it.
I expect a whole lot of activity going on domestically (something the Dems like to do) but don’t expect any changes in foreign policy - not at least until after the 2008 elections.
November 10th, 2006 at 6:25 am
Sandmonkey, if you ever got trained in any form of combat/wresling/martial arts, you would know that it takes much more numbers and superiority to contain without harm, then to break someone’s neck.
US has to subsidise Israel so she can survive without defeating their loving neighbours. Should US stop their aid (that would be a violation of Camp-David treaty), Israel will have to start spending all their money on ammo, and then start to knock out their enemies. Electricity, sanitation, communications.
November 10th, 2006 at 7:16 am
Nancy Pelosi will discover enough money to pay the I.O.U.s in the Social Security trust fund in the couch cushions in Dennis Hastart’s old office.
Global warming will stop, magically. Actually, it never started…
And, as mentioned above, there’ll be rainbows, unicorns, and bunnies!
November 10th, 2006 at 8:18 am
http://www.slate.com/id/2153272/
euh, seems the money men changed their mind too !
so your getting loosers boys, beware
November 10th, 2006 at 8:22 am
In all this stuff about strong military and bulging muscles, it’s as well to remember that President Kennedy and the Democrats had the skill and intelligence to defuse the Cuban Missile crisis and pull the world back from the brink of nuclear war in the face of strident criticism from their opponents.
Congratulations America.
November 10th, 2006 at 8:32 am
President Kennedy and the Democrats
The same President Kennedy who can also be credited with expanding American presence into Vietnam and the failed Bay of Pigs invasion (which, in large part, led to the Cuban Missile Crisis that you give Kennedy credit for diffusing)?
November 10th, 2006 at 8:39 am
The Dems have an answer to the Islamic extremism.
It is brilliant.
Ready for it?
Are you sure you can handle it?
Here it goes….
….raise the minimum wage by 50¢ an hour.
Democrats: Smart. Tough.
November 10th, 2006 at 9:18 am
#37 and 40
What you choose to forget is that before Bush got elected Blair was great buddies with Clinton. Don’t worry about Blair, he’ll get by by doing what politicians do best. Shame he won’t be around when the US gets a new president. It would have been fun seeing how he would have mended his political fences, with the new administration.
Now I don’t see why you are all worried or surprised at the fact that all the promises made by election hungry politicians evaporate once they have got in. As Humprhey Appleby on Yes Prime Minister would have had it - “it was only a political promise - people understand”.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
a good resumee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwQ9Q79ciUo
November 10th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
On the bright side, Maybe the dems will legalise pot before they’re voted out in 08.
November 10th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
People seemed to have read a WHOLE LOT into my post. Sadly, I dont have too much faith in our representatives because Democrat or Republican the people are thier last concern. I tend to vote Democrat but would vote for a Republican who is not racist and kept themselves out of my bedroom, doctors office and womb.
I do think that total domination by any party is not good for our country given there are just 2 viable political parties. Whenever one party runs everything we get just what we have gotten the last 6 years, thats Democrat or Republican.
November 10th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
44. The US Constitution will be dropped in favour of Sharia Law, but…
45. … gay marriage will be legalised, heterosexual marriage will be banned.
46. French to become the new national language of the USA.
47. Texas to be ceded to Mexico, Alaska to Russia.
48. The US’s nuclear arsenal to be shipped to Iran.
49. The US applies to join the EU.
50. George Galloway to become next President of the USA.
November 10th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
chellebell, Republicans are not racists. Th KKK was the terrorist wing of the Democratic party! Where this rewrite of history took place I’ll never know. You’ll have to dog a little to find it but it is well documented in the archives of history. A big hint woulf be to look at which party has a former KKK member as a senator.
Abortion is murder plain and simple. That will never change. While I think if anyone really saw what it really was it would be outlawed overnight. Persoanlly I’d settle for a 12 week cut-off just like the rest of the world has and education by someone other than Planned Parenthood who has a vested interest in lying to you for the monbey they make from abortion.
LOL!! Democrats legaize pot?? The same party who push 199% non smoking bans and junk food bans are going to legalize pot? What have you been smokin kid?
November 10th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Stephen, I wont bother, the planet is speaking inglishe
November 10th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
There is nothing wrong and everything right with the Republicans embarrasingly large election loss this week. They have squandered their power to become more corrupt, more scandalous, and more arrogant than any ruling class of the last 50-100 years. I can’t point to a single thing they have done, as a group or as individuals, that merits that kind of abuse of power. No Democrat would have ever created this mess in Iraq, lied to the American people and the world, or created such a huge divide and so much hatred of the President. I can tell you that everyone of the people I know in NYC cannot WAIT until Bush is out.
We know the Democrats aren’t a recipe for immediate and gratifying success. But, GOD, they are MUCH better than what we have at present. In this case, there is almost NO WAY the grass ISN’T greener on the other side!
November 10th, 2006 at 10:36 pm
Hey Sam,
You didn’t happen to notice the article in the Times last week about how Iraq was 1 year away from a nuke, and just waiting for the collapse of sanctions and inspections (which had been promised to them by France and Russia) to resume their nuclear weapons program. It was there, in the same article in which the Times complained that the administration was too liberal with what they post on the internet. Go look.
So, as it turns out, Bush didn’t lie about WMD. But the Times did. And they want to cover up the evidence of it.
You know why you can’t point to a single thing they’ve done? Because there really isn’t any. Is it the Patriot Act, which passed 99-0? Is it allowing the FBI and CIA to talk to each other (the failure of which largely allowed 9/11 to happen)? Is it that everyone forgot about the mind-numbing abuses of the Clinton administration?
I think it’s simple. People hate Bush. They hate his style. They hate his face. They hate his smirk. They hate the fact that he looks simian. They hate the fact that his Daddy was president. They have a visceral hatred for him. And it doesn’t matter much what he says or does. He’s chimpy McHitler, and that’s all there is to it.
As for Cheney, he’s quiet, private, and comes from business. Coming from business means he worked for someone. Which means that there is a legacy of a business that might potentially benefit from some policy decisions. Look at it this way, if the CEO of a solar cell company, or a windmill company, or a biodiesel firm became president, would your UWS liberal friends bitch and moan that a shift in energy policy might cause their former businesses to make a larger profit? C’mon, tell the truth. Would they then become an advocate of lower gas taxes and bigger SUVs?
It’s all a load of trash. And this is coming from someone who donated to a political campaign for the first time to McCain in ‘00, and for the second time to Gore in ‘00. I thought Bush was a stupid, smirky, chimpy, rich boy, and I didn’t want him to be president. I’ve grown up a little since then, and I’ve kept my eyes open, and entertained opinions from all ends of the political spectrum which, admittedly, is a little hard to do on the Upper West Side. Try. You may be surprised.
November 10th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
????,
“Abortion is murder plain and simple. ”
That’s your story and your religion. Not mine. And I have seen quite a few abortions. So there.
If you don’t approve of abortion, don’t have one. Talk your sister and your wife out of one.
But if you want to tell some 15 year old that she has to ruin her life and keep the baby, then you really should put your money where your mouth is and promise to support the baby to majority. Want to keep your $500,000? Then STFU. My $.02
November 11th, 2006 at 5:43 am
BrooklynJon-
#74 - My God. You’ve been through the same thing I have. Only put a Darth Vader mask on Cheney. I think I first realized I’d had everything upside down after reading Nomenklatura. That and spending too much time on the Mahablog. I started to feel like Alice looking through the looking glass and seeing everything backwards. Bizarre, isn’t it? I hear tons of stories about Republicans leaving the Party, but rarely the reverse. But we’re out there nonetheless.
Here’s a blog I came across that you might enjoy.
http://www.ejectejecteject.com/
Scroll down to “War of the Bumper Stickers” if you want to make it short, although the whole thing is entertaining. It goes to the “Bush is stupid” assumption. I had no understanding about any of this in my Dem days.
November 11th, 2006 at 5:49 am
Bob Cesca summed it up best today at Huffingtonpost.com:
‘Time For A Big Ol’ Cup Of ‘Shut The F*** Up’
Last week, I described a nightmare scenario in which the Republicans won the midterm prompting the president, high on mandate juice, to form the Department of Shut The F*** Up, headed by a sock puppet named Secretary Fiddlesticks.
Now that the Democrats have taken back the Congress and 51+ percent of America finally has a voice in government again, I think it’s time to seriously let fly. So at the risk of sounding contentious in this all-too-genuine era (several days) of bipartisanship, here now is a roll call of people who must officially shut the f*** up.
1) Republican trolls who wrap up their anonymous and incomprehensible criticisms of progressives with the phrase, “and that’s why your party never wins,” need to shut the f*** up.
2) The cowards who so easily disregard our liberties by shrugging off the president’s illegal wiretapping; the cowards who shrug off the Military Commissions Act and the death of habeas corpus; and the cowards who shrug off torture with the phrases, “I’m not doing anything wrong, so I have nothing to worry about,” or, “You can’t [blank] if you’re dead,” ought to shut the f*** up.
3) Anyone who still believes that global warming is a myth? Shut the f*** up.
4) Rush Limbaugh must shut the f*** up. On second thought, strike that. The more we see Violet Beauregard flapping his arms and mocking Parkinson’s patients, the better off the rest of the nation will be.
5) In Ann Coulter’s latest column, he wondered when the Democrats would be fitting Senator-Elect Jon Tester with a “leotard.” Speaking of tards, Mr. Coulter needs to shut the f*** up. And this order stands for anyone who claims Senator-Elect Tester is a “conservative Democrat.” He could very well be the face of the New Progressive Democrat and one of the most genuine lawmakers elected Tuesday. Prediction: if he isn’t already, Tester will quickly become a rock star in this party.
6) I think it was Bill Maher who mentioned this but it stands repeating here: neocons who have made multiple rosy predictions about Iraq need to shut the f*** up and are forthwith banned from making any more predictions.
7) Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and other homophobes who use the “San Francisco Liberal” label for Speaker-Elect Pelosi must… you know. We all understand that it’s right-wing code language meaning “homo-values.” If that’s what you mean, just say it. That is, unless you’re not man enough.
9) Ed Gillespie, the man who’s just a neck with a mouth, is officially ordered for the last time to shut the f*** up.
10) The devilish wordsmiths who think it’s strategic and clever to refer to the Democratic Party as the “Democrat Party” need to stop it. Shut the f*** up. The official name of the party is the Democratic Party, with the “ic” at the end. Yeah, I know. Newt Gingrich and Frank Luntz invented the idea of saying “Democrat Party” or “the Democrat leadership” or “the Democrat voters” in order to emphasize the “rat” syllable, leaving a rat-like subliminal hint in the minds of listeners. President Bush, in his so-called “conciliatory” press conference Wednesday, used this incorrect pronunciation several times.
“And while the ballots are still being counted in the Senate, it is clear the Democrat Party had a good night last night, and I congratulate them on their victories.”
“This morning I spoke with Republican and Democrat leadership in the House and Senate.”
“…we’ll begin consultations with the Democrat leadership starting Thursday and Friday.”
“…and now work with Democrat leaders in the Congress because they control the committees and they control the flow of bills.”
“We got some tax cuts passed with Democrat votes.”
11) And finally… Mr. President. Saying that you’re going to work with Congress and compromise for the sake of the nation doesn’t mean shoving your unconstitutional Terrorist Surveillance Act and your bellicose anti-U.N. U.N. ambassador through a lame duck session. So if you don’t really intend to be bipartisan, then shut the f*** up. You pride yourself on letting people know exactly where you stand and, despite the fact that you routinely stand on dangerous principles, there’s at least some cold comfort in knowing what you’re up to. But it’s clear that that President Bush is long gone — replaced by a man who can’t even be honest with his own base about things like the Iraq War, subsequently leaving his allies alone, confused and scrambling to assuage the anger of an increasingly hostile constituency. This last part? Keep it up, thank you.
And that’s the roll call. I’ve spent the last several days not only breathing in the sweet aroma of real-life governmental checks and balances, but I’ve also been evaluating where we go from here. Clearly Speaker-Elect Pelosi and the Democratic leadership have the daunting task of working with the White House to not only push through vital pieces of legislation, but they also must do so in a way that doesn’t raze their chances for further pickups in 2008. It goes without saying that any misstep in the face of this Republican Party (and its media lapdogs) could spell disaster. So they have to play nice in some ways, but you and I are best served by remaining on the attack and never hesitating to tell those who deserve it to shut the f*** up.
So, SandMonkey, just shut the fuck up! : )
November 11th, 2006 at 6:31 am
“leaving a rat-like subliminal hint in the minds of listeners”
Hmmm, I see someone thinks highly of the electorate.
But then “Democratic” ends un “tick” as in “flea and and tick”. Uh oh!
Further proof that KKKarl Rove and his evil genius minions must have a time machine, and went back to the selection of the GOP’s opposition’s name. Jews (code named Neocons) must be involved in some way.
November 11th, 2006 at 6:39 am
Bec,
We haven’t left the Democratic Party. The Democratic Party has left us. It has some good people in it, but it has been taken over by people who just aren’t serious. Witness Winning Dem’s screed above.
What Winning Dem doesn’t realize is that the country is generally center-right, and the Ned Lamonts of the world will be unable to win a national election. And once theDems of the Senate and House start to govern, they will either have to appease the Lamont crowd, which will disappoint the moderate voters, or they will act responsibly, which will disappoint the Lamont crowd. Hopefully, this will make them sad, and they’ll take their bat and ball and go home, and then move to Canada (remember how they all threatened to do that, but then didn’t?).
Ejecteject is a great website. Agreed.
And my “Freedom isn’t Free” car magnet got me two smashed windshields before it got stolen. Who said the Neocons are taking away free speech. The Left Wing took it away long, long ago.
November 11th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
in order to emphasize the “rat” syllable, leaving a rat-like subliminal hint in the minds of listeners
My, how typically lefty paranoid. Couldn’t have been because of the confusion between these two words, I suppose: (After the Democratic-Republican party of Jefferson split in two?) “Democratic - characterized by the principle of political or social equality for all.” Nah, that’s too reasonable.
So, SandMonkey, just shut the fuck up! : )
Winning Dem and Mubarak have a lot in common - although, granted, Mubarak might not have used a smiley face.
BJ, I think you are right in your analysis. We live in interesting times. Impossible to explain to someone like Winning Dem (or the moonbats over at the Mahablog) what it’s like to have been where they are all our lives (speaking for myself, of course!) - and yet now to see them as very misguided indeed.
How someone can say this,
“The cowards who so easily disregard our liberties by shrugging off the president’s illegal wiretapping” (of overseas calls)
after hearing Bush say this,
“He forcefully defended his actions as “crucial to our national security” and claimed that the American people expected him to “do everything in my power, under our laws and Constitution, to protect them and their civil liberties” as long as there was a “continuing threat” from al-Qaeda. The President also had harsh words for those who broke the story, saying that they acted illegally. “The unauthorized disclosure of this effort damages our national security and puts our citizens at risk.”
when we know that this continues to happen? What is Bush wiretapping FOR? You think he’s going to round up the lefties and take them to Manzanar, or what? How often do you even hear him complain about the Left’s personal attacks against him?
Again, the meme from al-Qaeda (picked up from the Left) that Bush is stupid. He flew a jet fighter for God’s sake. How many stupid people do you know who can do that? Lefties? Shut the f*** up!
Or, on the other hand, maybe Bush likes being misunderestimated.