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Thursday, 14 Dec 2006
1. "OH MY GOSH! I just saw part of your hair, now you're obliged to marry me."
2. "I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam."
3. "To watch you pray is a sin of its own."
4."Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?"
5."You can't play basketball with a jilbab on, marry me, and we will go one-on-one our entire life."
6."Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part…"
7."Assalamualaikum, so what time does a Hoor Al-3ayn like you have to be back in Jannah?"
8. So, read any good Surahs lately?
9. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
10. Would you like to see my collection of Bukhari's?
11. Lets get married so I don’t have to lower my gaze every time you walk in the room
12. I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.
13. Do you work for the FBI ? Because you've just abducted my heart.
14. Your father must be a terrorist, because you're da BOMB!
15. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long?
16. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?
17.. Are you a Shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "She aiight".
18. Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Madinah.
19. Girl, you fine. I see praying five times a day has paid off.
20. That's a nice burqa. Can I talk you out of it?
21. I need to break my fast. Can I have a date?
22. I didn’t trip over my robe, I fell for you.
23. I know Halal meat does a body good, but damn, how much you been eatin'?
24. You remind me of the Ka'aba..I could walk around you all day long.
25. Wanna pray in jamaat, shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?
26.You must be the Buraaq, because I wanna ride you all the way to heaven.( Thinking of taking this one out..)
27. "*guy looks under girls hijab* "sorry, i was looking for the made in jannah tag"
28. "After seeing you, the first thing I said was Mashallah. The next was Inshallah!"
December 14th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
LOL…some of these are hilarious, others are so sweet I’d totally be willing to get picked up! Too bad the same guys that could use these lines are too chickenshit to approach a girl. Can we have a list for the ladies? It’s time we pick out and pick up men ourselves.
My favorite: “11. Lets get married so I don’t have to lower my gaze every time you walk in the room.”
AWWWW…
December 14th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
he he…these are hilarious! Some are just sooooo cheesy though. I’m forseeing alot of insulted commentators on the horizon tho
December 14th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Some are funny some insulting, and sadly some are widely used to pick up girls.
December 14th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Why should other people’s pick-up lines matter so much to us?
live and let live people. Invest the time working on ur own pick up lines.
December 14th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
“Did you hear the lastest release of Shiekh Abdolhamid’s qura’an recording?It’s awesome ”
“Would you like to watch with me the Saudi TV channel? They are showing a season-hit today: “49 Virgins in one blast” ” : )
December 14th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Ooh, I’m going to pick up some Muslimas with this little beauty:
“Have you ever seen a grown infidel naked?”
~Kurt
December 14th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Any one of those lines would get me naked in an instant.
I especially like number 14. Any guy with the balls to say that to me at least deserves something in return…!
December 14th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
;D
December 14th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
“18. Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Madinah.”
I loved this one, after all, puns are the highest form of humor!
December 14th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
i like this one: I need to break my fast. Can I have a date?
December 14th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
oh plz tell me about the types of muslims you are surrounded with cuz im a muslim myself and i’ve never heard most of these line while the rest are just cusual conversations that shouldn’t be critisized like this and they are not funny either… seriously guys you are soo pathetic and airheads, and SM plzzzzz get a life
December 14th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
honestly I didnt like them, not impressed at all and I think its sick.. yeah yeah laugh and point at me as you please, its my opinion and I am entitled to it
December 14th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Is that a bomb in your pocket…or are you just glad to see me?
I must have died and gone to heaven because you are my 70 virgins all in one.
I must be Muslim…one look at you and I have a gusher in my pants
You’re the tabacco in my nargila
You’re the pita in my hummos
But I like my favorite redneck bar pick-up lines:
“Nice tooth”
“When you bend over…you remind me of my sister”
“I promise you the trailer of your dreams”
“You remind me of my sister…oh…you are my sister”
Jewish lines:
Don’t worry baby…its kosher
I would love to whine and dine you
Wanna see what a great mohel I had?
Hey…what’s the best substance to control a Jewish girl’s sex drive…wedding cake
December 14th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
dude, u cracked me up LOL
December 14th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
LOL
I particular loved no 8 ‘So, read any good Surahs lately?’ and 14 ‘Your father must be a terrorist, because you’re da BOMB!’
Too bad Howie was before me on the 72 virgins-line
December 14th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
I don’t know why you would insinuate that all muslims are morons like this
December 14th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
MP-
It is satire dude…poking fun and yourself using absurdity…it is healthy…just because there are some elements of truth…does not make it all true nor does it reflect the essence of Islam or anything like that.
December 14th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
It’s official, all muslims use pickup lines like these, SM said so! Boy, aren’t they silly!
Get a sense of humor, geesh
December 14th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
If I told you that the BOMB line has actually been used on me, SM would you really be at all surprised?
December 14th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
Modern Pharaoh must be one og those muslims without humor
Two men are sitting on a bench. One of them is a
drunk, and the other one is also a Dane.
December 15th, 2006 at 1:45 am
————————Humor
————————Ooshi’s head
December 15th, 2006 at 2:57 am
Jihad at me ‘hello’.
December 15th, 2006 at 3:40 am
Call me ignorant but I didn’t get this one
27. “*guy looks under girls hijab* “sorry, i was looking for the made in jannah tag”
made in jannah?
December 15th, 2006 at 6:12 am
“Made in heaven”
December 15th, 2006 at 9:46 am
a lot of these would work too - sadly, not too many devout muslims want to pick up chicks
December 15th, 2006 at 11:52 am
#11 oooshi, before using things like plz, cuz etc., try to learn to spell literary english correctly, otherwise it’s not cool. And keep ur comments till ur 15th birthday, you will hopefully develop some reason and sense of humor to that time.
And SM plzzz geda life cuz u r sooo pathetic.
December 15th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Ooshi @ #11 and Modern Pharoah @ 16, these jokes are not comments on real Muslim Pick-up lines or insinuations against Muslims or insults of any kind. It’s just humorous play. You pick a theme, it could be pick up lines for any category: clowns, Baptist ministers, Santa Claus, you name it, and then try to come up with funny pick-up lines by bouncing off of stereotypes or aspects of that category.
Not every joke is a criticism or hides a serious commentary under the laugh. This kind of joke is just play.
Relax! Let your ouchy prickles fall off and let people have some fun!
December 15th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Dakheel allah shoo sakheef inta ya erd. Sakheef.
December 15th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
I have to say… “I need to break my fast. Can I have a date?” is my vote for the best one. It works on so many levels!
December 15th, 2006 at 8:13 pm
[...] Rantings of a Sandmonkey » Islamic Pick-up lines Do you work for the FBI ? Because you’ve just abducted my heart. (tags: blog sandmonkey islam humor) [...]
December 16th, 2006 at 2:50 am
SandDude: Could somebody provide a translation of this for Westerners?
I understand about a third of them
:o)
December 16th, 2006 at 5:28 am
Ty Puniqe
December 16th, 2006 at 5:30 am
“And SM plzzz geda life cuz u r sooo pathetic.”
Who’s reading who?
December 16th, 2006 at 8:02 am
Come on, is it so hard to understand? I used that to point out how silly it is.
second try:
And SM plzzz geda lauf cuzzz U R sooo patetik.
December 16th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
What do you have against silly?
December 16th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Same that I have against flies and mosquitoes - they’re annoying. And besides that, they’re silly.
December 17th, 2006 at 6:24 am
I personally like the good old regular ‘bad pickup lines’ better than the more specialized one regarding one group or the other. You know, classics like:
Do you have a bandaid? Cause I scraped my knees when I fell for you.
I wish I was a glass of milk so I could do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Do you wanna grab a pizza, and fuck? *slap* What, you don’t like pizza?
December 17th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
you have no decency, you have no respect.
Quran 83:29-33 “Those in sin used to laugh at those who believed, And whenever they passed by them, used to wink at each other (in mockery),And when they returned to their own people, they would return jesting ,And whenever they saw them, they would say, “Behold! These are the people truly astray!”
December 18th, 2006 at 12:09 am
Gods have mercy…
December 21st, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Ya need to stop posting these messages cause ya sound like a Arab. Noww aint nothin wrong with arabs, its just them damn muslims! Everytime I see em I don know what kind a bomb they got strapped to they body.
September 21st, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Astagfirullah, This is disgusting!!! Allah guide you people on the right path!! Amin!!
June 20th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Hey, Isha and ahmad…fuck allah.
And don’t any of your Christ’ers get uppity. Fuck Jaysus too.
How about leaving your invisible friends at home and just have some fun with your one life?
April 13th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
A million bucks says the same people who rant against this admittedly humorous post, would be the first to laugh at “Christian pick-up lines”.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
love these, wish you would add more, i’m definitly gonna write them down and use them hahahahaha. i’m a proud muslim and arab i see no insult in these, if you were a muslim mentioning these to muslim friends it wouldent be offensive i don’t understand why it should be offensive if others say them to you. it’s as silly as african americans saying the word “nigger” to each other with out a problem but the problem arises when people of different color use them.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:57 am
I found some others and listed them at Muslim Pickup Lines