No one really knows why the sandmonkey dissappeared for that week or where he was. However, here are some of the most recurring rumors regarding his whereabouts:
*Spent his time hiding in the sewers after getting stalked by Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson. Cause the ladies love the Monkey. They really really do!
*Was caught trying to jump from the Eiffel tower while screaming: "Ouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
*Hurt his back while trying to get in touch with his feminine side. They say with natural therapy and Yoga there is a chance he will be able to stick his head up his ass once more! Your Prayers are needed!
*Auditioned for the role of "the other arab guy" on Lost. Shows up to the casting call all dressed up as the Iron Sheikh. Gets banned from the ABC studio lot forever!
*Wakes up from the Matrix. He is heralded as the One. Saves the world, gets with Trinity, settles down in a posh district in Zion and raises mini-ones!
*Had an epipheny and decided to form the International coaltion of Procrastinators, but still hasn't gotten around to it!
*Friends and Family conducted an internvetion and sent him to rehab to combat his addiction to Sex, drugs, rock & roll and other american evils. No progress has been reported. Rumor has it he was released after convincing 3 nurses to "stop being so square" and "ride the fun wagon that is me".
Really, where were you?
We all know that SM spent the week in his pajamas, eating Ben&Jerries Rocky Road, watching Young and the Restless, and looking in the mirror asking himself “I know I am pretty, but am I pretty enough?”
Makes pass at two women – is hospitalized for a week.
“Where was the Sandmonkey that week??”
*Running the Tiberias Marathon?
*Protesting the new Congress with his girl?
*Sledding in Ramallah?
*Stuck in Heathrow Airport?
*Shaking down Oprah?
Could be anything, really.
Whereever you were, welcome back. I needed my fix!
BS Everyone knows that you was shacked up for a week with Ugly Betty!
Wherever he was, we can be certain he was up to no good.
Glad to have you back!!
Really:
I wasnt thinking about where you were. Sorry to burst your bubble. Welcome back though
You know, I don’t KNOW where you were — but I know someone who knows
That might be a record for the most instances of “know” in once brief sentence.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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I know what you were doing… Ripping off tourists in Khan el Khalili with your wiley Egyptian ways and dodgy “antiques”.
It comforts me to know you doubtlessly have many friends to make you feel better (using various alcohol based medicinal techniques or otherwise). I’m glad you’re back.
Tell the truth, SM…you were snorting coke off a hooker’s thigh while directing Lindsay Lohan’s first XXX-rated film.
SM, you forgot:
*parading through the alleys of Khan El-Khalili drunk with your fantastic friend, sasha
oh no, wait, that was during ramadan…
Eh. I was close.
I love Khan Al Khalili… Guys tried to rip me off by telling the shopkeepers to ask for a higher price not knowing I understood what they were saying. I love how they laugh when they’re found out! Bastards!
Yeez, I thought he was here in Canada filming in the new CBC show called, Little Mosque on the Prairie???
You fucking crack me up, SM.
I didn’t miss you, I was away for a week too. Conference in Canada, good stuff, crazy wacked people but good stuff. Anyways, glad you’re back, not sure I want to know where you were but glad you’re back.
Jack
Glad your back, SM. Love that last one, it has to be The Truth. How far down the hill did you make it before the nurses jumped off?