5 positive things about having the flu

1) You finally get the rest you really want, without anyone accusing you of being the lazy bum you are.

2) People leave you the fuck alone. And they don't say shit about u not getting out of Your Pj's for 2 days!

3) Egyptian cold & flu medicine. 25% alcohol and other narcotics mixed with artifical sweetner. Yummy!

4) You have a good excuse not to write on your blog, because you are too ashamed to admit to having writer's block.

5) Fearing infection, Your annoying aunt covers her nose whenever you pass her by. So you take advanatge of the stiuation and follow her around the house, hoping to see how long she can hold her breath before passing out. You know you are being mean, but fuck it, you are sick. Plus, if you were really mean, you would've gone for a hug, now wouldn't you?

Comments

  1. get well soon!! and oh boy, stop annoying your aunt :)

  2. Get better SM–but enjoy the slack time! :-D

    I think I might have to feign illness now (although as you know, we don’t get good cold and flu medicine like you apparently do!). I need a good excuse for my laziness! “I’m busy today” is starting to wear a bit thin. ;-)

  3. SoCalJustice says:

    ok, SM – I didn’t ask a question on your “ask SM” day/hiatus etc…

    But here’s my question – and I honestly mean this in the least snarky way:

    Jesus/Issa is a “prophet” in Islam. We’re told this all the time, but pro-Islamists (i.e. John Esposito, John Voll, Juan Cole, CAIR, etc….) in the U.S. who want to engender “Muslim/Christian (i.e. anti-Jewish/Zionist) understanding.

    OK. Fine. That point is accepted.

    Now Jesus/Issa – in performing a religious miracle -this prophet of Islam – turned water into wine. Awesome! (I actually just got home from a bar, watching Florida v. Ohio St. nat’l championship, enjoying various vodka- based beverages, but that’s neither here nor there).

    But back to the point – we have a prophet in Islam turning water into wine as evidence of a miracle. Forget his place in Christianity (Southern Baptists and Mormons – did you forget this part?) – but wrt Islam – if a so-called prophet is hooking his peeps up with wonderful fermented grape beverages – to evidence a miracle – as his monotheistic peeps have enjoyed religiously for time immemorial – (you see where I’m going) – what the f*ck is the deal?

    I mean – I’ve been to Egypt. I’ve had the Stella. It’s ok. But a “prophet” (or the big cheese, depending on your stripes) is hooking up the peeps with the beautiful fermented fruit as a MIRACLE – and it’s haram?

    WTF? Come on!

    Ok – all this stemmed from your total enjoyment of the local variety of cough syrup – but that’s how tonight is going….

    So what’s the deal, holmes?

    Cheers.

  4. SoCalJustice, if you mean to say that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has changed water into wine and that Muslims consider it a miracle, I am sorry to tell you: wrong number.

    If you can support an evidence about what you say you would do me a favor as I have searched everywhere and found nothing about it.

    If you do not mean what I understood, please make yourself clear.

    Thanks

  5. SoCalJustice says:

    Jimmy – no, I didn’t mean to say that.

    Read my post again.

    Slower this time.

  6. If you are talking about the fact that Jesus turned water into wine and that wine is prohibited in Islam. I believe it is a sign of tolerance rather than paradox that Islam urges its followers to follow all the other prophets despite the differences of the their creeds. You got my point?

  7. SoCalJustice says:

    I am talking about that fact, yes.

    And you can believe whatever you want.

    If you go back and read my post, you will see that I also talk about various American sects of Christianity who also have strange interpretations of that particular miracle of Jesus.

  8. Sure, I was just trying to give an answer to your question.

    And I thought your main point was the fact that Islam asks Muslims to believe in a prophet that turned water into wine, while wine is ‘haram’. Specially as I notice that you did not type the Prophet’s name for once at the same time you were writing Jesus’s name capitalized at it should be.

    Anyway being a Muslim, I don’t really know about the different interepretations of the miracle by Jesus Christ. Therefore, my role ends here.

  9. SoCalJustice says:

    And I thought your main point was the fact that Islam asks Muslims to believe in a prophet that turned water into wine, while wine is ‘haram’.

    That was my question for SM, yes.

    Specially as I notice that you did not type the Prophet’s name for once at the same time you were writing Jesus’s name capitalized at it should be.

    Because I was only talking about one particular prophet, not THE prophet.

    Sorry for the confusion.

    Anyway being a Muslim, I don’t really know about the different interepretations of the miracle by Jesus Christ.

    One is that since the individual considered god and everyone’s personal lord and savior, in a celebratory and miraculous manner, produced wine for people – that wine is not only permitted, but celebratory.

    The other is that alcohol dulls the senses and/or is bad for your mind/body/spirit, despite that famous miracle, so it should not be imbibed.

  10. humble simpleton says:

    No way,
    http://www.wunderground.com/global/EG.html
    says 57°F/14°C in Cairo. No well-conducted man has a flu when it is 14°C out there. Either you have spend last week in Russia or you are a simulant.
    And wait.. Egyptian cold & flu medicine. 25% alcohol ?
    HARAM

  11. LittleTinSoldier says:

    to humble simpleton..

    its 15-11°C in Tel Aviv.. and half of the company didnt show to work this week…

    so it is possible…

    anyway, SM hope you get better…
    ( if we had medicines with 25% alcohol.. I would have been ill more often…)

  12. “5) Fearing infection, Your annoying aunt covers her nose whenever you pass her by. So you take advanatge of the stiuation and follow her around the house, hoping to see how long she can hold her breath before passing out. You know you are being mean, but fuck it, you are sick. Plus, if you were really mean, you would’ve gone for a hug, now wouldn’t you?”

    It reminded me of old joke:
    I always hated when during weddings my aunts used to come up to me, pinch my chick and say “You are next”. They stopped doing it when I begun doing the same at funerals.

  13. I is not wine, I am drinking. It is spoiled grape juice.

    Is vodka a taboo?

  14. Jimmy,

    If you are talking about the fact that Jesus turned water into wine and that wine is prohibited in Islam. I believe it is a sign of tolerance rather than paradox that Islam urges its followers to follow all the other prophets despite the differences of the their creeds. You got my point?

    I get your point. It’s called lip-service. Not tolerance. That’s the one thing about Islam that truly offends me. Muslims think they know more about Christ than Christians do. At least some of them do, like Ahmadinejad. I’d really prefer it if Muslims left Christ alone, since they don’t subscribe to his teachings. But I’m not the scripture police. Just be aware, if you’re talking to a Christian and you ahve a dispute with them about something Christ said or did, they are likely to be quite offended being told about their Savior by a Muslim :)

  15. What was the Flu making a worldwide pilgrimage the past 2 weeks?
    I was never that sick with the Flu (for 2 weeks) since I was a kid.

    Hope you’re feeling better.

    Mike