I love the Onion

If Only…

0 comment on I love the Onion

  1. Methinks
    January 10, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Oh, SM, you are truly missing the point.

    A volunteer military provides for efficient allocation of resources. Those who are not skilled have the ability to gain skills and payment for college education by joining the military. Those who are skilled or can pay their own way are (with some exceptions) wasting their time in the military. Even if you are sent to Iraq – which you will likely not be – your probability of dying is about 1%. Them’s pretty good odds in a time of war, my friend.

    Finally, I personally know several people with masters degrees in mathematics and economics and such who voluntarily joined the armed forces. The Onion (which I typically love) is not funny on this one.

    Reply
  2. Jason
    January 10, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    If the military was comprised of only or mostly affluent white folks, all the liberals and *cough* minorities would bitch that it was a conspiracy…

    Reply
  3. tedders
    January 10, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    In reality, a cross section of the U.S. Armed forces today is much better educated than the same cross section of the U.S. population by comparison. As opposed to what John (I got worse grades than Bush at Yale) Kerry and the “Onion” would have everybody believe. If you knew some of the volunteer U.S. Army members and officers you’d know that for a fact. The “Onion” is usually a satrical device, but in this article, much of what it proclaims isn’t that much of a stretch. Most U.S. servicemen and women put the average twentysomething U.S. citizen to shame.

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  4. Methinks
    January 10, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Jason & Tedders, Good points.

    Reply
  5. Melissa in NorCal
    January 10, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    Tedders is absolutely right. Our military is broken down ethnically pretty much the same way as our general population is with Pacific Islanders overrepresented and ASians underrepresented. Most of these young men and women come from middle class to upper class families. They also tend to come from rural area rather than urban. They also tend to be better educated than their peers. These are facts that the MSM and lefties don’t want you to know. They want to tow the same “Why do they always send the poor?” and “Poor minorities from urban centers are left with no other option.” This just isn’t the reality on the ground. Sorry SM, but the Onion is way off on this one.

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  6. Methinks
    January 10, 2007 at 8:01 pm

    “Why do they always send the poor?”

    translation: “why do you give the poor the opportunity to gain skills and an education so they can become productive and earn a dignified living instead of raising the taxes on the rich and giving the poor handouts so they can live at our mercy?”

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  7. Melissa in NorCal
    January 10, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    Oh, I just threw that in there because Serj of System of a Down screams it over and over again in the song BYOB. The song depicts our military as a bunch of stormtroopers really, mindless robots as it were. I used to love that band, but they are some of the looniest lefties I’ve ever come across.

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  8. Cut snake
    January 10, 2007 at 8:46 pm

    Hi everyone , please don’t shoot me down in flames, but for what it,s worth I thought it was very funny.
    Y’all make good points tho.

    Reply
  9. BrooklynJon
    January 10, 2007 at 9:43 pm

    I think you’re all right, but the article is lampooning the upper middle and upper class young adults in our society, not the people who join the military.
    The quotes in the article are generally true, but it seems implausible to hear them uttered in Manhattan and Brookline, etc. because on average, the denizens of those places are too self-absorbed to utter them. Don’t get me wrong, at that age, I was also too self-absorbed.

    I don’t think the article is making fun of soldiers at all. At least I don’t see it that way.

    As I see it, here’s the money quote: “From this day forth, the Astor name will be synonymous with sacrifice”

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  10. Methinks
    January 10, 2007 at 9:47 pm

    Sorry, BrooklynJon, I think the point is that people from privilaged backgrounds DO join the armed forces. But as I said, it’s an inefficient allocation of resources.

    I’m also tired of the people trying to eat the rich. I’m self-made and it took a ton of risk and hard work. that’s what this country is all about. When I was impoverished, people looked down on me. At the opposite end of the spectrum people also look down on you. It’s the scapegoating of the rich by morons that really gets me. They got their wealth by working their ass off. their descendents inherited it – but only because those who worked for it wished it that way.

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  11. Craig
    January 11, 2007 at 6:10 am

    Wow, we are all over the place on this one!

    Methinks,

    A volunteer military provides for efficient allocation of resources. Those who are not skilled

    Over 90% of the people who enlist in the US military do so immediately after graduating High School. Nobody is “skilled” as an 18 year old high school graduate :)

    have the ability to gain skills and payment for college education by joining the military.

    I hope the education benefits are better now than they were when I was in the service. The tuition keeps going up year after year and the benefits generally don’t.

    But, the main benefit of military service is the actual military service. You will learn to lead in the military. You will learn to take responsibility for your own actions. Etc.

    Those who are skilled or can pay their own way are (with some exceptions) wasting their time in the military.

    I don’t agree. I think an enlistment in the military does an 18 year old snotty punk a lot more good than spending daddy’s money on a 4 year long frat party. And upon completing the enlistment, a 22 year old ADULT can spend daddies money (and Uncle Sam’s) and get an ACTUAL education.

    BrooklynJon,

    I think you’re all right, but the article is lampooning the upper middle and upper class young adults in our society, not the people who join the military.

    Eh…. but that’s the social status of my family, and I joined the military. I ended up an enlisted man in the Marines, in the infantry, yet. Believe it or not, it is as other’s say… a cross section of American society as a whole.

    All that said, I still liked the piece. They are talking about a certain type of urban elite (whether they are actually “elites” or not is irrelevant, they think they are) who, it’s true, would never be caught dead in military uniform.

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  12. tedders
    January 11, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    Private First Class Astor, reporting for latrine duty, Siiiiiir!!!
    :-)

    Reply
  13. nice ex-Jewish Boy
    January 12, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Yeah, the Onion is funny, but it’s hardly new. Dig up some mid-80′s issues of University of Cal./San Diego’s “Koala” newspaper. Talk about satire!

    Reply
  14. naomi
    January 16, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    Kids of rich have parents who run with those who hold keys and codes to big nukes. Be them democrat or republican or capitalist, when you kill their kids, they’ll push the “end it all” button now, not later. Visualize Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Folks at this level have political secrets and alliances that require pushing the meltdown button using us ALL as collateral rather than letting their little dark secrets out. Killing their kids might make their fragile sensibilities break. Instead of larking on who’s rich, who’s poor, who’s Shia, who’s Suni, who’s Jew, etc. wouldn’t we want to eliminate the turds toying with waking the sleeping nukie giant? We can finish this dance being of one mind: melted mutants watching each other decompose the slow stinky painful way. …or not… …There is a God… …and He’s merciful… “…freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…” –

    Reply

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