Leave Egypt, to where exactly?

I received lots of e-mails and comments asking me to leave Egypt after the Abdel Karim sentencing. Ehh, ok, to where exactly? To the US, where the employers and the immigration laws are inventing new ways every day to fuck me over? To Canada or Australia, where any application for immigration would cost money I don't have and at least one year in waiting time? Or should I go for a gulf country, where alcohol, or youtube and flickr are banned? Where to go people?  Any ideas? I am open for any realistic ones. And no, going to Mexico, crossing the border and then telling the police if they catch me that my name is Javier is not a realistic solution.

Any suggestions? 

132 Comments on Leave Egypt, to where exactly?

  1. orenf
    February 25, 2007 at 8:57 am

    go to israel. ask for rahamim. tell him oren said its ok, and to let you in.

    Reply
  2. SP
    February 25, 2007 at 9:02 am

    Look east, young man.

    Reply
  3. Modern Pharaoh
    February 25, 2007 at 9:20 am

    Trust me, if you leave Egypt, Sooner or Later you will miss it! Thats definitly the case for me, i can’t wait to go back!

    But my recommendation would be either USA or Dubai

    Reply
  4. jose
    February 25, 2007 at 9:23 am

    Sandmonkey, have you thought of moving to Israel? Lots of beer and beautiful women.

    Reply
  5. jose
    February 25, 2007 at 9:28 am

    not to be funny, but speaking of jail, DOG is definitely going to be fucked in a mexican jail. and another thing, that browser you recommend, its server is in Chicago and the FBI can subpoena the user logs from the browser. A good browser is anonymouse located in Germany. Like your blog, you must have hung around with some serious latinos to be so cool. we are watching the situation but there is not much we can really do except to notify our congressman.

    Reply
  6. AF
    February 25, 2007 at 9:31 am

    take it easy now, the guy isn’t gonna pick up and move to Israel now is he?!

    Reply
  7. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 10:36 am

    Go to Brazil, cause even if you haven’t got enough money, you’ll have fun,
    plus it’s an emerging country, life is improving, and…. they are fond of the french culture, that’s mean they are not ignorant, therefore they surely know egyptian culture tpp :lol:

    http://www.20minutos.es/galeria/2101/0/0/

    Reply
  8. ebles
    February 25, 2007 at 10:37 am

    what about going to Zamalk

    Reply
  9. martin
    February 25, 2007 at 10:42 am

    Hi, I don’t know where you could go, but I can tell you where not to go: italy. Last nite I was in Milan and there were more egyptians then in Zamalek. Then, for latin countries, if you can not keep up with the boring koranic songs egyptians play in every shops, busess, and taxy, you will not stand either to hear salsa e merengue 24 hours a day.

    Reply
  10. Leauki
    February 25, 2007 at 11:01 am

    Ireland.

    I’ll send details via email.

    Reply
  11. Hassan
    February 25, 2007 at 11:04 am

    Come to Beirut. I promise it’ll be great :)

    Reply
  12. Eric
    February 25, 2007 at 11:28 am

    I have a spare bedroom and a pool Sam.

    Reply
  13. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 11:40 am

    Wow. I didn’t know it costs so much to immigrate to Canada. That sucks!!!

    Reply
  14. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 11:42 am

    Sandmonkey, do you seriously want to leave? There’s gotta be a way all your cyber friends can help.

    Reply
  15. Eric
    February 25, 2007 at 11:59 am

    Louise is right – you have friends everywhere.

    Reply
  16. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    Modern Pharaoh Says:”Trust me, if you leave Egypt, Sooner or Later you will miss it! Thats definitly the case for me, i can’t wait to go back!”

    That’s funny because I can’t wait for you to go back either.

    Modern Pharaoh Says:”But my recommendation would be either USA or Dubai”

    Lebanon. The rule, sadly, is wherever there are a lot of Christians and few Muslims. In fact apart from Malaysia – which you might like for another few years until the Jihadis dominate there too – is there a single Muslim majority country anyone in their right mind would want to move to?

    nomad Says:”Go to Brazil, cause even if you haven’t got enough money, you’ll have fun”

    That’s not what about 100 million Black Brazilians say.

    nomad Says:”plus it’s an emerging country, life is improving, and…. they are fond of the french culture, that’s mean they are not ignorant”

    I couldn’t make this stuff up! Tell me, you’re really an American who is pretending to be French and speak English badly just so that you can make such a vivid and yet subtle mockery of French arrogance and insularity aren’t you?

    Reply
  17. egyptiankangaroo
    February 25, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Stay put and don’t leave ! if everyone left who is going to stay ? you have to believe in what you are doing and if for one moment you don’t then shut down and join the NDP. Egypt is a beautiful country that has the best people in the middle east. It is much better than the fake gulf. The only thing is that it s mis-managed. The people of egypt are great they will have a laugh even if they can’t afford a bite. They come together when one is sick or in need. The Egyptians are smart people do not under estimate them for one second ! they have honour not like some of our neighbours. Hang in there mate , thing will be better it just takes time. Never walk away from your country !

    Reply
  18. Jonathan Levy
    February 25, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    Ok, how about:
    Go to Mexico, cross the border, and if the police catch you tell them your name is Jose.
    ;)

    Reply
  19. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    “That’s not what about 100 million Black Brazilians say.”

    do they ? I didn’t notice it , just watch them festing !

    “I couldn’t make this stuff up! Tell me, you’re really an American who is pretending to be French and speak English badly just so that you can make such a vivid and yet subtle mockery of French arrogance and insularity aren’t you? ”

    yeah, might be, but forget about the “ignorance” :lol:

    Reply
  20. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    nomad Says:”do they ? I didn’t notice it , just watch them festing !”

    Yes and those Black slaves loved to sing and dance, or so their owners always said, and so therefore slavery wasn’t bad? Is that really your argument? Get out of the tourist areas of Rio and see how ordinary Brazilians live.

    Reply
  21. Alaa
    February 25, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    why china of course

    Reply
  22. Zvi
    February 25, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    Go to Mexico, cross the border and if the police catch you, tell them your name is Mel Gibson, you’re only a little bit drunk and you don’t know how you got down to Mexico, or when. Then launch into a tirade.

    Seriously, SM, Egypt is your home. You can always choose not to blog; we’d miss you but we’d understand.

    Or you can simply continue. I’m not sure this Karim thing counts as a crackdown on bloggers; he seems to have done everything in his power to screw himself, as you have said before. If an actual crackdown happens, then you’ll have a point about going elsewhere. Or you can look into a foreign job with a local company or a local job with a foreign company that might provide transfer options if you need them later.

    Or you can just go to some EU country, tell them you’re from the country that invented beer and let them assume that means you come from Germany.

    Reply
  23. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    “Get out of the tourist areas of Rio and see how ordinary Brazilians live.”

    not worst as the US blacks,

    +, with the sun shine and a white population who doesn’t mind the mixture

    how comes you care ?

    Reply
  24. Richie
    February 25, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Come to India! It’s a nice, safe place..and YouTube, Flickr and alcohol are allowed :D I don’t think it would cost too much either..think about it!

    Reply
  25. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    nomad Says:”not worst as the US blacks, +, with the sun shine and a white population who doesn’t mind the mixture how comes you care ?”

    I don’t know why I care. Because your self-obsession is far more parochial and self-centred than anything the Americans do? Coincidence perhaps. Only someone who has lost control of their senses could claim Black Americans are worse off than Black Brazilians. It is just not a rational comment. Read something. Educate yourself. You sneer at the Americans for their lack of awareness of the rest of the world, but you display a far more closed mind utterly out of touch with the rest of the world.

    Reply
  26. Red Tulips
    February 25, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    SM, have you considered going to Israel? Seriously, why not look to convert to Judaism, and move to Israel? Or, marry a Jewish babe! That’s win-win! See, then you wouldn’t have to worry about the long trip! It’s only four hours to Eilat, right? You could drive there!

    Reply
  27. Red Tulips
    February 25, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    Or, you could marry an American in order to get American citizenship! See, aren’t those marriage laws lovely?

    Reply
  28. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    “You sneer at the Americans for their lack of awareness of the rest of the world, but you display a far more closed mind utterly out of touch with the rest of the world. ”

    it’s your biased mind which makes such a statement, I had hoped you just had a contradiction mind…too bad !

    Reply
  29. Perplexed
    February 25, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    Stay in Egypt. You know the language, customs, people, food, and government. Do what you have to do to get your friend out of prison. Start a revolution against the dictatorship of both government and religion.

    Reply
  30. US
    February 25, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    Coming from a libertarian who actually seriously considers leaving the country because of the big government and high taxes, you might want to take this advice with a grain of salt. However…

    Why not consider Denmark? You know, the Cartoon-country? For starters, for a long time DK has been in the absolute elite when it comes to alcohol consumption (that is, we drink a lot…). Youtube and flickr? No problem.

    Language is a problem, I know.
    The strict immigration laws is another. However, there’s a way around this one: If you’re unable to get a working permit in DK, then you might want to seek for asylum in Sweden. They let just about everyone in, and once inside Scandinavia, you can pretty much move around as you feel like it. However, this would be a very long process and marrying a rich American might be a better option. If the alternative is not marrying an American – but instead imprisonment and torture in Egypt – then you should think about it.

    A few links:
    http://www.workindenmark.dk/
    http://www.jobsincopenhagen.com/?gclid=CJCLz5neyYoCFT4GQgodU3zPgA

    Reply
  31. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Okay. I have to agree with the people who advise you to stay in Egypt. You are supposed to be the new Moses. Lead your people out of the wilderness, except this time, it’s the political wilderness. You can do it SM. Single-handedly. Bring democracy, respect for law, all that stuff your Western fans take for granted, to Egypt.

    Reply
  32. carrots
    February 25, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Moses???? Mawahaha! SM is not my personal Moses! Please, have a little more respect for Moses-he is a prophet of the Muslims, Christians and Jews alike and to compare SM to him is going too far!

    Reply
  33. carrots
    February 25, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    Unless you meant for him to lead his people out of Egypt….in which case Egypt I am sure will carry on fine without him.

    Reply
  34. kinzi
    February 25, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    How about Jordan? Na, not really, I say stay in Egypt. SM has the ability to do the edge walk better than Abdel Karim did.

    Reply
  35. Salam
    February 25, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    How about going to Singapore ? A lot of job there, and no one would care where you come from.

    Reply
  36. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    carrots Says:”Moses???? Mawahaha! SM is not my personal Moses! Please, have a little more respect for Moses-he is a prophet of the Muslims, Christians and Jews alike and to compare SM to him is going too far!”

    It is true. Comparing Sand Monkey to Moses who killed his own kinsmen for worshipping as they had always done is an insult to Sand Monkey.

    Nor, of course, is Moses a prophet alike to Jews Christians and Muslims. Muslims think he was a Muslim. Everyone else thinks he was a Jew.

    Reply
  37. marko
    February 25, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    SM, man just stay where you are? Egypt is the only place on earth where you can be a true SM…I think you are doing a great job also by bridging between different cultures and steering debates on much needed issues… In my opinion this whole Karim thing is just over magnified and the guy himself is first class nuts!…Look at his foolish mistakes…1. joining Alazhar Uiv. which is 180 degree against what he believes. 2. Putting his picture, with aljazeera logo, on his blog just like saying hey here I am, please come and get me… 3. making enemy in every possible way with the Egyptian mainstream, so that no one will sympathize with his cause… As you said the guy is not an influential and known blogger, like for example Wael Abbas, Alaa, Malek,. etc..So why arresting him then if they wanted to scare the bloggers?…Is it because he is an easy target and the public opinion will back any harsh verdict against him?…Whatever the reasons for his arrest are, I think one shouldn’t reveal his identity if he is going to speak harshly about government or people’s habits and culture especially in the most respected values. But in any case it is quite stupid and worrying to jail a blogger for what he writes on the internet! And somehow we should try to help him at least by putting logo like free Karim,..etc on our blogs.

    Well, in your case I guess there is nothing to fear from, because you are so damn popular around the world that the government wouldn’t dare to mess up with you!..But hey, just don’t talk too much to the CNN people ….
    peace to all, and hopefully Karim “the nuts” will be out soon.

    Reply
  38. ebles
    February 25, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    after alaa comment i suggest China or Jordan :-)

    Reply
  39. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    Brazil 188 000 000 souls

    53.7% white
    38.5% pardo or mulatto (mixed-race)
    6.2% black
    0.5% Asian
    0.4% Amerindian
    0.7% unspecified

    yeah, right, Heigou knows every thing,
    in his volonty to be the superman
    he just forgot to check the numerals !

    for your govern, “Mr je sais tout”, I got a few friends in Brazil,
    some made their studies with me (in art school, I agree), some in “Ensma”, and some I worked with , sorry for you, they were not the ones in the “Bois de Boulogne”, should be the ones cited in your references

    Reply
  40. Stephen
    February 25, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    Well there are people in the west who would make it easier for you to emigrate to/seek asylum in their countries… unfortunately they are the same liberals and lefties who get attacked here regularly.

    Reply
  41. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    nomad Says:”Brazil 9th place for GDP , just after Italy, before Russia and Canada, does that make the 100 million Blacks saying they are miserable ? as suggested previously by the encyclopedic non sense ?”

    Brazil as a whole ranks 9th place. It is a large country with many people. But on a per head basis it ranks 74th or 68th by PPP. You miss that bit of the article?

    I notice you are trying to suggest that if you are not 100 percent Black, you must therefore be not Black. About half Brazil’s population is “white” and about half is not. Being largely at least part African. Hence the 100 million figure.

    Reply
  42. andy
    February 25, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    I think you could get asylum in any western country – what would suit you most is probably the U.K. ’cause it has a large immigrant population from your corner of the world – if you need help write to my e-mail address.

    Reply
  43. Dave
    February 25, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Come to Jordan. Seriously.

    Reply
  44. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    if your so genuine, tell me the PPP for African origin and hispanic origin in the US
    hence the 100 million figure, doesn’t mean they are in the whole the poorest in the comparison with The hispanics and blacks in the US

    Reply
  45. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Stephen Says:”Well there are people in the west who would make it easier for you to emigrate to/seek asylum in their countries… unfortunately they are the same liberals and lefties who get attacked here regularly.”

    Actually, no. Any number of Lefties and Liberals have put massive barriers up against immigrants – if they are not politically correct. The best documented case I know of was the strong opposition of Australia’s then Labor Party to the migration of Vietnamese refugees on the grounds that as they were fleeing Communism they would tend to vote for the Right. In fact the Left as a whole was utterly indifferent to refugees from Vietnam. Ayaan Ali Hirsi was driven out of the Netherlands by the Left as well.

    The fact is the Islamists have made Muslim immigration harder. Soon I expect it will be impossible. There is no point letting the enemy in. People like Sandmonkey will suffer from this policy in the short term. But the only other alternative is to sit by while Europe becomes like Lebanon and then Egypt and then Turkey. You’d have to be insane with hatred of the West to want that.

    Reply
  46. HeiGou
    February 25, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    nomad Says:”I got a few friends in Brazil”

    Sorry but hanging around with rich kids in Paris is no way to learn about a country.

    nomad Says:”if your so genuine, tell me the PPP for African origin and hispanic origin in the US. hence the 100 million figure, doesn’t mean they are in the whole the poorest in the comparison with The hispanics and blacks in the US”

    The median income for African Americans is about two thirds that of whites. Which is shameful up to a point.

    From http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/p60-229.pdf

    Median income for Whites is $46,851, of those, non-Hispanic Whites had a median income of $49,061, Blacks $30,442, Asians $57,196 and Hispanics of any race $33,884.

    By way of contrast, Brazil has one of the highest Gini coefficients in the world – which means that income is grossly poorly distributed. A pity that they do not collect good figures on racial inequalities, but most Blacks are concentrated in the North and there are serious problems.

    They do collect figures on illiteracy:

    http://www.ibge.gov.br/english/presidencia/noticias/20122002censo.shtm

    White illiteracy is 8.3%, Black illiteracy is 21.5% and Mulatto 18.2%

    Reply
  47. savtadotty
    February 25, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Adopt me as your grandmother and you can “return” to Israel. It’s not realistic, but neither is the idea of you leaving Egypt. You know you want to.

    Reply
  48. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    I agree, my brazilian friends are considerated as privilegians, whites, with high degrees studies, and very good family backgrounds, though their conditions of life had seriously decreased in the late decennies ; they used to be the dominant class, but not anymore ; their families had high administration positions, they had servants, but they can’t afford anymore !
    life became difficult for people who did not have the habit to fight for their earnings ; though Brazil gets on with the globalisation. I expect the white supremacy having soon problems of redistribution

    Reply
  49. Eva, Canada
    February 25, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    Hmm, Brazil… a country where the poor are dirt poor and people with any amount of money must buy bulletproof vests for themselves and their children. Not a perfect destination!

    Reply
  50. Saudi dude
    February 25, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    Dubai

    Reply
  51. Mikey
    February 25, 2007 at 6:42 pm

    Finland, Sweden, Denmark. Cold, free, clean, no nonsense.

    Reply
  52. Puniqe
    February 25, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    Sweden.

    Basically you have to marry a Swedish citizen, get a job here in Sweden, or be able to prove that you will come to harm if you go back to Egypt.

    Reply
  53. Eric
    February 25, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    I would advoid Boston though. There’s a lot of single mothers looking for the Sand Monkey there.

    Reply
  54. BrooklynJon
    February 25, 2007 at 7:13 pm

    I would recommend Brooklyn. You’ll have to curb your pro-American attitude, or you’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Nevertheless, we have sand (Coney Island), middle eastern food (at kosher restaurants), and sanctimonious fools who suppress anyone who disagrees with them (liberals), so you’ll feel right at home. And our police haven’t sodomized anyone with a stick in nearly 10 years.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abner_Louima

    Mikey, If he moves to Scandinavia, he’ll have to become a snowmonkey, which doesn’t really make a lot of sense.

    Reply
  55. Aardvark EF-111B
    February 25, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    you can go to Met-Ukba Republic, thier president [M.Mansour] is a revolutionary like you, he even rise his shoe facing tyrrants.!!!!!!!

    Reply
  56. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    Carrot, get a life. The Moses thing is a joke, although I do believe Sandmonkey is a leader and can accomplish more if he stays in Egypt. However, if he genuninely wants to leave and if there is any way I can help him, I will.

    Reply
  57. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    And I’m not a left-wing pinko, either. So much for that theory.

    Reply
  58. Louise
    February 25, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    Actually, if you want to know the real truth, it just dawned on me. BP is quitting his blog for now. Sandmonkey is hinting that he may be looking for a way out. That proves it. THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME.

    Reply
  59. Daisy
    February 25, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    I hope you come to the USA – get through the hurdles – we need you here.

    Reply
  60. Egypeter
    February 25, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    Hey monkey, I told you, if it isn’t gonna be Chicago then I hope you stay in Egypt. I know you wanna get the hell outta there and God knows I don’t blame you….but you can REALLY make a difference there!

    If all the sane Egyptians flee Egypt and leave the country to the Muslim Brotherhood/Islamists, well, then what??! No, really…then what?

    Egypt needs you to stay there.

    But if you must leave have you considered Iran? That might be an option but I don’t know how strict their imigration laws are. Maybe Saudi Arabia too? I remember reading some poll saying something like 85% of Egyptians consider Saudi to be their closest friends…might work for ya?

    Reply
  61. MrSimon
    February 25, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    hey
    come to us….come to swizerland….everybody can come!!!
    we must take immigraitors to us and you will have a job…alcohol, youtube and flickers aren`t a problem!
    come….it will be good

    Reply
  62. nomad
    February 25, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    after all how about becoming a “Surrender Monkey”, that will not makes a change for a beer-drinker !

    Reply
  63. Rubin
    February 25, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    for real:

    Sandmonkey you have extra ordinary ability to reach all types of people. You can analyze the latest news or write an essay, you are a humorist and an expert on Egypt etc. Your fans are for the most part strong minded folks [opinionated] with conflicting values and politics and yet somehow you manage with respect to gather all the “nuts” in one basket, your blog!

    The mystery:

    How is it that a major Media organ hasn’t snapped you up in a New York minute is a perplexing mystery. You’ve got it all, more talent than most journalist and columnist in any Mag or News Paper and and super bona fides, proof of good work habits, your blog is the evidence.
    ;-)

    Reply
  64. Canadienne Errante
    February 25, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Sandmonkey, if “they” ever come for you–whoever “they” may be–you can bet that I–and all your frequent readers in the United States and Canada–will all scream like hell and do what we have to do to get you free. (Out of curiosity, how many individual readers do you have? That information wouldn’t just interest me–it would interest potential employers…)

    Reply
  65. Joanne
    February 25, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    Don’t worry about paying to immigrate to Canada, nobody pays anyhow. I’m not sure how they get away with it, but they do nonetheless.

    Reply
  66. SoCalJustice
    February 25, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    Monaco
    Netherlands
    Cayman Islands
    Costa Rica

    Either a tax haven, a sunny destination that specializes in bikini-blad women and drinks with umbrellas in them (or both), or Holland…

    Good luck, sir….

    There might be some obstacles to coming to the U.S., but obviously many people do it year after year. I get the feeling we there are many who would volunteer to find a place for you over here without too much trouble…

    Reply
  67. effyourself
    February 25, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    As a member of the “Elders of Zion,” I’ll pull a few strings to expidite your visa for the US. You can crash here. We’ll chase the chicks around — you can use your foreign accent to score, and I’ll rely on good old-fashioned alcohol.

    Reply
  68. Howie
    February 25, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    You can always come to the USA on a student visa and then find yourself a good Jew lawyer…in fact…I know one that specializes in immigration…There is also Australia…but once in the States…there might be several cards you can play and likely you already know many people here…INS ain’t gonna come looking for you unless you where a sombrero…

    Reply
  69. Antoine
    February 25, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    I spent one year in Egypt. Nice country. You should stay there. Or go to Beirut if you like a more “western” life.

    Reply
  70. Patrick
    February 26, 2007 at 12:43 am

    You could go to Lebanon, but it’s going to shit. You could go to Turkey, but you don’t speak Turkish. England and Ireland are good possibilities but it’s too cold. America is a good place but it’s hard to get a visa, and not that easy for a first-time immigrant to get a job without being explicitly brought over for work purposes. Stay in Egypt. Seriously. You belong to a firmly entrenched upper-middle class Egyptian family. You lead a comfortable life. Why leave it? What hapepned to Kareem won’t happen to you because you BLOG IN ENGLISH.

    Reply
  71. JRL
    February 26, 2007 at 1:24 am

    #66. What he said.

    Reply
  72. Uragan
    February 26, 2007 at 1:35 am

    You do not need money to come to Australia, but you do need certain qualifications.

    http://www.workpermit.com/australia/australia.htm

    And I strongly suspect the lass who posts on your site with the moniker of Usual Suspect would know the specifics on how to swing a visa.

    Reply
  73. Liz
    February 26, 2007 at 1:40 am

    I think it is time for you to get a Ph.D in the U.S. and then become an expert and talking head on the ME. There’s always the CIA and FBI to try.

    Reply
  74. leo
    February 26, 2007 at 1:58 am

    1. Stay in Egypt.

    2. Stop blogging on SM blog.

    3. Start another blog through some kind of proxy and stop hinting personal info.

    4. Carefully encourage other Egyptian bloggers to do the same.

    Reply
  75. habibi
    February 26, 2007 at 2:32 am

    Melbourne, Australia. Come by boat via Indonesia and they’ll ‘accomadate’ you on a Pacific Island until your begging to join the Egyptian Brotherhood and get a back, crack and sack.
    Go to Turkey, even the Pope likes to visit.

    Reply
  76. jimmytheclaw
    February 26, 2007 at 2:45 am

    well javier my suggestion was the last on the list if i think of a better one i’ll post it

    Reply
  77. last-bastion
    February 26, 2007 at 2:54 am

    Come to the UK, seek asylum and if you don’t get it disapear. People do it all the time and the home office is so incompotent it only rarely catches them.

    Reply
  78. Sig
    February 26, 2007 at 2:54 am

    I would recommend the Nordic countries – Norway, Sweden or Denmark. You would fit in well.
    If the cold climate is not for you, then the UAE (Abu Dhabi is up and coming) or… Sri Lanka. Beutiful country.

    Reply
  79. Joshua
    February 26, 2007 at 2:59 am

    If you wanted to come to you US, you can always find a job first before you come. Many corporations here will sponsor you and pay your fees to come here if you take a job with them, especially if you have a highly sought after skill. If you are sponsored by a corporation, you can pretty much consider yourself in.

    Reply
  80. Egypeter
    February 26, 2007 at 3:12 am

    Honestly, SM – Have you ever thought of going to Egypt?

    If I lived in Egypt I’d move to Sharm and start up some kinda bussiness there. Get your SCUBA certificate and you and I can start up a little dive shop next to Pascha’s Nightclub. Booze and Babes.

    Reply
  81. naomi
    February 26, 2007 at 3:14 am

    http://www.immigration.com/faq/politcalasylum.html#46

    … from the US link above:
    A refugee is defined as a person outside of his or her country of nationality who is unable or unwilling to return because of persecution or a well-founded fear of persecution on account of race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group, or political opinions

    This site has instructions on asylum if you’re outside or already inside the country. It IS a serious option. I believe you have a “well founded fear of persecution”

    Don’t knock Mexico. It’s a great vacation destination and if you enjoy the sea, Cancun or Cozumel are nice and they’ve got tons of internet cafes. You can email your US friends while you’re there… and… … SM, only you can engineer the way your life is going to work out. I guess what I’m trying to express is keep your email list of addresses handy. OK? Oh yeah. Evade prison like hell fire. There ARE REAL options.

    Reply
  82. Hot Camaro
    February 26, 2007 at 3:30 am

    Uhh, why is not going to Mexico a valid option? It’s cheap to live there. And if you do decide to cross the border, we really only ask one thing. SPEAKO ENGLISH!

    Reply
  83. anonybreeze
    February 26, 2007 at 3:55 am

    Don’t know the exact cost, but just heard on the news that the application fee to immigrate to USA went up 60%. Reason is that they need the money to overhaul the system which is bogged down by red tape and bureaucracy. And if this new man in charge Gonzalez does his job, everything should be streamlined, and it’ll be easier and faster to go through immigration.

    Did someone mention China!!!!! You were joking, right?

    Reply
  84. pixikill
    February 26, 2007 at 4:30 am

    australia.
    do not go via indo.
    sure its gonna take cash and time, so get started now.
    make sure you renounce everything that has happened to you before arriving.
    australia is the land of redemption. you are redeemed by choosing to live here. do not become a tall poppy, or you will be cut down. that means, dont think youre better than anyone else, and life will be seriously EXCELLENT!

    Reply
  85. Shuv
    February 26, 2007 at 5:33 am

    Pixikill is right. Get on down to sydney. You speak good english, one or two nights spent studying aussie history and nobody asks questions, I know somones dad who still hunts down all the nazis that came here after WW2.

    That, and egypteer, how would iran be an improvmoent, i thought they did the same thing to bloggers… dont they? kindly illuminate my ideas on the matter

    Reply
  86. Uragan
    February 26, 2007 at 5:45 am

    Good points from 87 and 88. You go to Australia and we do not care where you came from or why. As long as you attempt to fit in everything is kewl.

    Reply
  87. Jamanda
    February 26, 2007 at 5:56 am

    Sandmonkey, I feel it’s your destiny to keep us informed of what’s going on in your homeland. What’s happened to Abdel Karim is so inconceivable to us here in America, though our freedoms are under attack as well. Please keep fighting the good fight.

    Reply
  88. Egypeter
    February 26, 2007 at 6:19 am

    Shuv – just my lame attempt at sarcasm :)

    goodnight

    Reply
  89. tommy
    February 26, 2007 at 7:38 am

    You should reconsider the Mexico option. Fly to Mexico and sneak across our southern border. You’ll be treated to better than legal immigrants trying to get into our country — even if you’re caught.

    /hey, have you considered Canada? Maybe Bahrain?

    Reply
  90. mikek
    February 26, 2007 at 7:50 am

    “And no, going to Mexico, crossing the border and then telling the police if they catch me that my name is Javier is not a realistic solution.”

    I have not met a legal immigrant in the U.S. who wasn’t a Bosnian or Serb (they all buddy up here for some reason). Most people in the states after 1815 had a family member hop a border at one point.

    It isn’t likely that Business in the U.S. is interested in fucking you over and I don’t know why you would be suprised with nasty immigration laws. If you had to leave Egypt you could and that seperates you from about, guessing, 85% of all Egyptians. They can’t even leave, let alone try to pick the country they want to move to.

    My suggestion would be to find a job that you are willing to start with in the states and move there. When your greencard/passport or whatever ends move to a new apartment and ignore immigration. Work hard, take life easy, make sure U.S. muslims are as cool as they seem and catch citizenship when it comes. It’s that easy:(

    btw, my comment on the other thread was serious. Going to jail won’t change jack. There are no Internet friends, but if there were I would seriously suggest you do what you can to stay out of Egyptian prison. It is what it is.

    Reply
  91. words
    February 26, 2007 at 11:23 am

    Isn’t Al Hayat published offshore, in the UK? Maybe you can move into their offices and pray sections of Europe don’t fall to Shari’a laws.

    Also, California is so full of illegal aliens, they’d never find you….and applying for citizenship isn’t that big of a deal, the truth is most people are too lazy/scared, or don’t want to hire an immigration attorney to navigate the process.

    Reply
  92. HeiGou
    February 26, 2007 at 11:46 am

    pixikill Says:”make sure you renounce everything that has happened to you before arriving. australia is the land of redemption. you are redeemed by choosing to live here. do not become a tall poppy, or you will be cut down. that means, dont think youre better than anyone else, and life will be seriously EXCELLENT!”

    The problem for the Left, I think, is that they have lived in a Western bubble for so long that their hatred for the West makes them look deranged. It may be possible, in an Australian context, to make those sort of comments and not look like a fool. But when these comments about the West are made in, say, a blog that contains people from the Third World, well, they just look insane. You seriously think Australia will “cut down” anyone just for being a success? As opposed to, oh I don’t know, Egypt where the government will jail you for being rude about the President and Islam and the opposition would actually behead you the first chance they got?

    Uragan Says:”Good points from 87 and 88. You go to Australia and we do not care where you came from or why. As long as you attempt to fit in everything is kewl.”

    But the problem is Sudden Jihadi Syndrome where any Muslim can, after meeting the wrong sort of people, and with no warning signs or evidence of radical involvement, change from being normal to being a Jihadi in weeks. Now that may not be a problem for Sandmonkey, but one day (if he hasn’t already) he’ll have kids and maybe bring over some relatives as well. There is no guarantee that some of them won’t start beheading people for no good reason. Just as there is not for any Muslim. It is a brutal and cruel thing to say but the only way to reduce terrorism is to reduce the number of Muslims. Which means if Sandmonkey moves to Australia, that is great for him, but it means Australia moves one step closer to becoming Egypt. Whether he likes it or not. The only way to keep Australia like it is, is to keep Muslims, whether secular or not, out. That is even nastier to say, but it is true.

    So what do you want – Australia to remain Australia or become Lebanon in your lifetime and Egypt in your children’s?

    Reply
  93. BrooklynJon
    February 26, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    Jamanda,

    Which of your freedoms is under attack?

    bj

    Reply
  94. dick
    February 26, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    Three ways to go.

    Denmark. Don’t worry about the language thing US mentions – they all speak English. And there’s masses of beautiful blonde babes, Carlsberg and Tuborg… you’ll have a blast.

    USA. You could come and stay in my spare room, and visit Carmen when you need to engage in philosophical discourse. Contrary to remarks above, our freedoms are not under attack (and all the black people I know seem pretty happy, unlike the slum dwellers I saw in Sao Paolo and Rio). I hear there’s some job openings in the FBI for arabic speakers.

    Egypt. Or you could stay where you are. I suspect you’re making a difference, being there. On the other hand, we don’t need any more martyrs – leave that to the shaheeds – so, if it starts getting hot, one of the above.

    Reply
  95. Twosret
    February 26, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Yeah go to Israel :)

    Reply
  96. antares
    February 26, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    I have travelled in Brazil, and I speak fluent Portuguese.

    As for the the Blacks (pretos) in Brazil being downtrodden, the Brazilians have a saying: Dinero faz todo mundo branca (Money makes everybody white.) Economic status is the determining factor in Brazil

    The economy is much, much better since the gov’t implemented the Plano Real.

    Portuguese is the official language, and, yes, you must learn it. A slim majority of the population is literate and very few Brazilians north of Rio Grande do Sul speak a second language — and the gauchos in Rio Grande do Sul speak German as their second language.

    On the plus side, Brazil has an open immigration policy — they accept immigrants from anywhere. And food is is ridiculously cheap.

    On the negative side, electronics of any kind are exorbitantly expensive even by American standards. It is cheaper to buy a ticket to the US, buy a computer, and pay the weight penalty to fly it back than to buy the same item in Brazil. But Brazilians outlets are rigged for American 110v and European 220v output. Interesting, huh?

    Reply
  97. nomad
    February 26, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    thanks Antares, but yankes would always think their place is the best

    Reply
  98. BrooklynJon
    February 26, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    nomad,

    ’cause it is. Oh yeah!

    Reply
  99. nomad
    February 26, 2007 at 6:29 pm

    Are you sure BJon that the sanctiminous fools are under extasy ?

    Reply
  100. BrooklynJon
    February 26, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    Would these sanctimonious fools be my people, or yours? :-)

    Reply
  101. Howie
    February 26, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    Off the subject…but West Bank Story won an Oscar. I saw the trailers…funny!

    I bought a copy and part of the cash goes towards an assoication for grieving Palestinian and Israeli families.

    Seems like a good deal to me.

    Reply
  102. charlie 316
    February 26, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    I’d definitely recommend Eire. It rains more than England, but there are less moonbats and the Irish really know how to party. Leave now and you can just walk straight in because they are all still pissed from celebrating beating England at rugby on Saturday. Leave it any longer and the hangovers will kick in and make them grumpy.

    One of the joys of this blog is trying to follow peoples thought processes, but I have been staring at the screen for about five minutes trying to figure out how Antares comment #99, led to Nomad’s comment #100. It’s almost as if Nomad lives in a parallel universe where words mean something slightly different to the one we live in, but you only notice occassionally. Either that or the use of the word American in any context in someone else comment triggers a Pavlovian reaction to take a random swipe at things American.

    Now for your English lesson. BJ has spelt sanctimonious correctly and the word you are looking for earlier is either Yanks or Yankees.

    Reply
  103. nomad
    February 26, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Charlie, you haven’t read the lot , if you had, you would know that “french” word means an erruptive feeling for my sparring partners, and they would of course try to smash every comment I do, so my pleasure is to tease or kid them, depends who they are :lol:

    Reply
  104. narto
    February 26, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    Iraq?

    Reply
  105. AS
    February 27, 2007 at 4:59 am

    whatever you do, don’t even think of china. if you’re looking for a place where censorship is scaring everyone to an extent you probably know from egypt, then come here. otherwise, don’t. i’d always recommend india, whatever it’s problems may be, you’ll have freedom of speech. but if you look for the real true freedom the only place i can think of is either the moon or northern europe.

    Reply
  106. mikek
    February 27, 2007 at 5:20 am

    Sorry AS, the moon belongs to the U.S. We claimed it decades ago, it’s ours.

    Reply
  107. Anonymous
    February 27, 2007 at 7:16 am

    Just stay there or move to Beirut. I’d rather be in Beirut than to be in the dump known as Cairo.

    Reply
  108. Ray Place
    February 27, 2007 at 10:57 am

    Please come to the US. Twelve million Mexicans will tell you it’s no problem. We need you. You would make a better American than 99% of the weenies around here.

    Reply
  109. forsoothsayer
    February 27, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    i finnaly revisit your blog only to find the commentators are just as asinine as the last time i left. you love the cult tho!

    dubai.

    Reply
  110. nomad
    February 27, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    “to find the commentators are just as asinine as the last time” one can’t be always as in high grazings and find storms for brains

    Reply
  111. pixikill
    February 28, 2007 at 2:37 am

    # HeiGou Says: You seriously think Australia will “cut down” anyone just for being a success? As opposed to, oh I don’t know, Egypt where the government will jail you for being rude about the President and Islam and the opposition would actually behead you the first chance they got?

    yes, we do. we cut them down metaphorically speaking. ppl can look up “tall poppies” in wiki, i guess.

    its why our famous ppl dont get grovelled to. its why we can call our coppers, or a judge or a politician “mate”

    he also says;
    There is no guarantee that some of them won’t start beheading people for no good reason. Just as there is not for any Muslim. It is a brutal and cruel thing to say but the only way to reduce terrorism is to reduce the number of Muslims. Which means if Sandmonkey moves to Australia, that is great for him, but it means Australia moves one step closer to becoming Egypt. Whether he likes it or not. The only way to keep Australia like it is, is to keep Muslims, whether secular or not, out. That is even nastier to say, but it is true.

    and whilst i agree with that, and want nothing more than for moslems to become sane again, i stand by my words that say aus is a land of redemption. give up all the bad shit youve done, and aus will not ask questions. we are like the french foreign legion of countries. except for the way the pm is treating the david hicks case. but our next election is this year, and howards getting the boot, and we will return to civility.

    Reply
  112. Bryan
    February 28, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    Belize

    Reply
  113. broccoli
    February 28, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    Upper Egypt-I bet a monkey like you won’t survive a day.

    Reply
  114. Tantor
    March 1, 2007 at 3:25 am

    America is the Future. The sooner you come here, the sooner you can start yours.

    Reply
  115. Abu-Issa
    March 1, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Move to Israel?? I know a couple other Arabs who’re sitting at the border right now…been waitin’ 58 years to go…get in line…

    Abu-Issa

    Reply
  116. Ahmed
    March 1, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    Man I traveled ALOT… and beleive me when I say that every country had its good stuff to encourage you to live there, and the shitt that makes you thank God you are not! In the end there is no good country to live in, its all crap man… But what I think is the place for a person is his country, hear this from a guy who has been in KSA for 29 years!

    And btw, congrats on appearing in that article about Egyptian bloggers in Egypt Today Magazine :-)

    Reply
  117. Silveira Neto
    March 2, 2007 at 2:06 am

    Come here to Brazil.
    It’s a nice place to live. We don’t care much about religion, almost nothing. You can drink as much you can. There’s carnival. There’s lot of beach. You can blog too.
    Its a huge country, many possibilites. You can get money by teaching english or french or many others ways. We don’t annoying foreigners.
    Its like paradaise but with corrupts politicians :P

    Reply
  118. ankhfnakhonsu
    March 2, 2007 at 4:50 am

    Canada is a good ticket. It will take a long time to dhimminize. It sure beats the situation where you are, being one of the original inhabitants of Khem that the Arabs finally got you all down to 10%. It took them 1000 years to do it. You got lots of time here.

    If not, try Ireland. A very cool place but perhaps they are too few and too pc soft on the islamoinvaders and could be overwhelmed quickly.
    It’s good for awhile. Try the west coast–Conemarra, Sligo, Donegal. It’s easy to forget the rest of the world

    Reply
  119. nomad
    March 2, 2007 at 7:25 am

    #123,
    :lol:

    Reply
  120. Hannah
    March 2, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Either the US or Israel would take you in if you claimed assylum, which would not be hard given the fact that you’re probably not very popular in the current Egyptian political power.

    …and what do you mean you don’t have enough money for a visa app. Did I not just read a conversation between you and your mother talking about how much money your family would spend on a wedding?! Take the hors d’ourves budget and put it towards this.

    Reply
  121. Zack
    March 6, 2007 at 1:49 am

    New Zealand =D

    Reply
  122. Saffer
    March 6, 2007 at 11:26 am

    I’d invite you to South Africa, but apparently it’s harder to come here legally than it is to move to Australia. Compared to Australia, we have richer culture, roughly equal climate and worse crime and politics.

    Reply
  123. john
    August 21, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    come to toronto
    huge number of egyptians and lebanese people so the community culture is there
    and also you dont have to deal with the stupid egyptain governement
    im here im living awesome
    n the people here arent ghaby, ghillis, rekhem, and any other word that would describe the people in egypt
    im actually in egypt right now visiting family and ive gotten gotten my share of ghilassa from the egyptian people so dont think im just ranting on about anything
    especially being coptic it really increases the amount of ghilassa you get
    so come to toronto
    im sure the immigration cant be THAT bad

    Reply
  124. Sherif
    March 22, 2008 at 11:40 am

    بس يا باشا
    مصر أم الدنيا العيب مش فيها العيب فينا احنا . حارب علشان توصل للى انت عوزة علشان ما فيش حاجة ببلاش . ارضى ربنا و ارضى اهلك و بعدين دور على رضاك
    ربنا معاك و اسال اللة الهايا لك

    Reply
  125. coco
    May 28, 2010 at 4:23 am

    hahahahahaha we want to leave Egypt with u but howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww?

    Reply
  126. OQ
    July 26, 2013 at 5:23 am

    Its mid-ramadan, 6 in the morning and 6 years from this post, two revolutions and still the influx of young people dreaming to start a new life and quit this land for good is one dramatic, significantly huge figure now. I am one of them!

    Reply

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