March 2007 archive

Jokers and thieves

"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.

All along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan 

Leveling the playing field in 10 steps

Let's say that your country is having a fake referndum, one where you know that the dead will show up at miraclously and vote Yes for whatever shit Mubarak suggests, thus making your vote for no entirely useless. So, what do you do? Well, you could eitehr boycott the vote, go and vote no, or go and vote no a couple of time in order to level the playing field a little. You figure if they cheat, you should cheat too. Fight fire with fire and all. But how would you do that exactly?

Well, by following these "suggestions", cause you know I would never ever do that (right? right??):

1) At first you go to a polling station next to your House. Let's say the college of Fine Arts in Zamalek for example.

2) You go in, and they ask you for your Voting Card, and you tell them you don't have any. They then ask you if your name is in the voting rolls, and you say No. They will then ask for your regular ID, and then give you the piece of paper and you only have the option of saying Yes to all the ammendments or No to all the ammendments.

3) You vote No, put in your vote, and then dip your finger in the "unwashable" and "unremoveable" voting Ink.

4) You go to a Pharmacy, get nail-polish remover and remove the voting ink, and then wash the rest of it away.

5) You then go to the polling station right next to the AUC. They tell you that they will only let you vote without a voting card if you were born in Giza and not in Cairo, even though the AUC and the polling station is techniclaly in Cairo. Nevermind.

6) You give them your voting ID, which they check and sign and then give you the referendum paper and then ask you to dib your finger in the ink, so that you don't vote twice.

7) You go to the nearest Pharmacy, ask for nail-polish remover. If they don't have any, use a band-aid. It will cover up the ink on your finger completely!

8 ) You head to your real polling station in Heliopolis. You tell them that you don't have your voting ID card, but that You did find your name amongst the names in the list outside. They don't even bother checking.

9) You get your referndum paper and blah blah and yackity yack. After you are done you take off your Band-aid. You don't need it anymore!

10) Then you go home feeling better about yourself. Feeling positive and energetic. So Proud you are of your 3 votes you will write a post about the whole thing.

Any questions? 


1) All the detainees were released today, who then decided to go join the Press syndicate protest/sit in, which the police surrounded and refused to let people out since the morning. This basically meant that they left police custody in order to go to a place where the police would stop them from getting out from. Hmmm…. anyway, the police, after houres and houres, finally released them and they are ok. I had 3 american friends who couldn;t get out, and who called the US embassy, which hung up in their faces. It was a canadian girl who managed to get them out by calling the canadian embassy, which sent a car and got them out. I repeat, the Canadian embassy helped them out and the american embassy acted the way the egyptian embassy acts towards egyptians in trouble abroad- just like punk-ass bitches. Fantastic!

2) For a milli-second yesterday, I was so depressed and angry I actually flirted with the idea of joining the NDP and becoming one of its people because egyptians needed to be punished. But then I realized that I was being retarded and snapped out of it. I would like to thank Alia, Inanities, Forsooth and M. for helping me with that. You guys rock! 

3) My Phone got fixed today. YAY!

4) The DC protest has been a success, it seems. Nora's post here, and her pictures here . Thanks for everyone who showed up, especially Solomon, whose post is here!

5) Tomorrow is the start of the civil lawsuit filed against the 21 websites and blogs . It will be at Magles el dawlah @9. If you are a blogger, please show up.

6) It seems that even the press is on to the sham that was this referendum, which is sweet. However, it seems like Pope Shinoda is continuing his role as the regimes whore (no offense intended towards either copts or whores by the way) by full-heartedly supporting the ammendments and demanding the participation of the egyptian coptic population to go and vote yes. Coptic christians of Egypt, I think it's time you told this man to fuck off. That's my opinion, but that's your business, so you figure it out.

7) I am never, ever, ever, going on World Have your Say again. I am sick and tired of its retarded format. So, BBC guys, next time don't call me, or do and I will give you numebrs of people you can call instead. I just won;t be on your show anymore, ok? 


I just came back from the demonstrations…No, that's a lie.

I've been back almost an hour and a half now, and it took me this long to get myself together, shake myself out of the shock I am feeling, and actually sit down and write this. Here is what happend.

Around 5:15 pm today I was in Talaat Harb square with my friend M. when I called Hosam and asked him his whereabouts. He informed me that he is at 7amadah cafe next to the AUC. So I went there with M. and sat with him, while waiting for the people to gather up. On the road over we counted about 40 state security cars and we saw the delpoyment of SS troops everywhere. We joked about what awaits us during this demonstration and how if we get beat up we will just start beating up Hosam and pretend to be part of the plainclothed SS thugs, and how it's not a good sign that Rice is meeting up with Mubarak today and how the US doesn't give a damn anymore what happens to us. Slowly more people came and joined us, including M's friend H., Bassem  and gemyhood (Mohamed Gamal) and his girlfriend R. Bassem and Hosam started arguing back and forth over which strategy to use: Bassem in favor of small group infiltration, while Hosam for big group formation. I couldn't care less either way. I just wanted to move. And we finally did.

We got out on Tahrir square and were trying to figure out which is the best strategy to get to the square itself, which was surrounded by SS soldiers. While walking you couldn;t help noticing the redicilous amount of plainclothed SS agents just standing around and holding walkie-talkies. Whenever someone would stop they would tell them they couldn't stand where they were standing and that they had to move along. While walking with the group, I got a phonecall from Alia, who was one street behind us with two more friends, one of them is Salma. I met up with them and we started to walk together towards the bigger group which was now surrounded with police officers and plainclothed thugs. When we tried to cross the street towards them the police wouldn;t let us, and then they did allow us to cross the street but not get on the otherside of the pavement, forcing us to go back and cross the street again. I was holding M's hand from one side and Alia's from the other, when I heard Salma say: "Fuck this" and started running across the street towards the square with the other girl, who pulled Alia with her. Alia tried to pull me with them but M. held my hand and said "Don't you leave us!" so I had to let them go. And right before they reached the square they were tackled by the police who swarmed on them from every direction. Some of the guys from the bigger group went directly to their rescue and pandamonium broke out for about 2 minutes, all the whole the police officers were pushing us to move forward. I could see the girls back in the bigger group, but the bigger group wasn't moving because it was trapped. And then I saw someone break free and run, and recognized him as Jimmyhood, and also saw 5 plainclothed police thugs run after him and hold him and started to pull him towards the Paddywagon. One of his friends triued to come to his rescue and was grabbed as well and thrown in the same car with him, and then the car started moving taking them to an unknown destination. That break, however, allowed the other demosntartors to break free and start walking towards Talaat Harb sqaure, while chanting Anti-Mubarak slogans. As people were walking, you could see the police walking behind them, as well as you can see the police lining up on the sidewalk in order to entrap them.


picture by Amr Abdallah 

When some of the protesters saw this, they went all hyper and tried to storm the line hoping to break it, only to fail. The Police started encirceling them, so I grabbed M, H, and R.- who was pretty shook up after seeing Jimmy getting arrested- and we crossed the street to the other side, and a group of 10 people followed our lead. The rest tried to go to the rescue of those who were held in the police net.

In a matter of seconds, I started seeing the police who were following the demonstrations start to encircle the protesters. They then started to push the protesters together and beat them. On top of the sound of the battle, you could hear distinct female screams. Really loud ones. Overpowering all others. The average egyptian walking on the street just stood there, some of them took their cellphones out and started using their cameraphones to videotape what's going on while joking about it. I really hated them at that moment. I was yelling the police to let us through, that there were women getting assaulted, and they just looked at me as if I was speaking kantonese. They wouldn't even lift an eyebrow, as if they were not hearing the same screams we were hearing. And then the Police started targeting us again and tried to push us away again, while we stood our ground and tried to see what was happening with the people on the other side. We could see the police taking people one by one and throwing them into the big Paddywagon, while a group of them SS soldiers started walking towards us, identifying us as their next target. They all formed a line, entwining their arms together and stood behind us for one second, then started pushing us. R. started yelling at them and screaming at them, while H. was tryingt o calm her down and push her away. I decided that the best course of action would be not to allow the police to actually touch the girls, so I stood between them and the girls, and using my body and my arms as a barrier to the constant shoving of the SS line, while urging the girls to move because I wouldn't want them to even get touched by any of those pieces of scum. The girls moved, although each took a very different way of doing so: R. continued to yell at the police, while H. grabbed her and M. pulled on them both, and Alia was trying to reason with the officers behind us. So you can imagine, this wasn't exactly making the SS officers happy, so they started pushing the soldiers behind us in order to push us further away from the square. When we finally reached the other side we saw the big Police Paddywagon leave and move. I looked around me and noticed that besides the 10 people who joined me on the otehr side, I was surrounded by foreigners. But all the egyptians were gone. The Police, apparently, started selecting the egyptians from the big mob and threw them and only them into the paddywagon. Anyone who looked foreign they let go. This meant that Bassem and Hosam, alongside of Malek and Salma a group of other demonstraters were all arrested. This also meant that I had to make some very unpleasant phonecalls, which I started doing. I called Elijah, Hosam's fiance, Alaa, Gharbeia. Everybody. And then I started paying attention to what's going on around me.

Malek getting arrested. Picture by Nasser Nouri 

Surrounding me was a group of about 30 people, comprised of journalists, activists and tag-alongs and we didn't know what to do next. Some people suggested we head towards the Tahrir square to see if anyone else was there. Others suggested starting a sit-in in the middle of the street. Me and Alia suggested we head towards the Press syndacite, where another demonstration was taking place. Everyone agreed on going to the P ress syndicate, despite Alaa's warning to me on the phone that getting inside the syndicate will be almost impossible. We decided to give it a try anyway because, well, what else are we going to do?

By the time we arrived at the press syndicate, a number of phone calls came through with information on what's going on: 1) Hosam and Bassem didn't get arrested, both had managed to run away in time, with Hosam heading home and Bassem staying in downtown, 2) Ahmed Droubi got arrested with bthe demonstrators, which was strange because I didn't see him there at all and 3) The police had decided to release the girls, So Salma and Bassem and this other girl I don't know jumped in a taxi and started following the Police truck holding all the demonstrators, and they managed to follow them all the way to the Mukhabarat (egyptian Intelligence agency) prison in the Madba7 neighbourhood, which didn't spell good news to them. Anyway..

When we arrived at the syndicate, there was about 200 protesters standing on the stairs and chnating, while approx. 800 SS soldiers surrounded them. We managed to get through and join them and met up with other people that we thought got arrested but apprently managed to escape as well. Alia Then came to me and told me to come and help her get Sharqawi in here. It seems that he couldn't go through on his own or was afraid of getting arrested if he did. Anyway, me and Alia got out of the protest and headed towards the Judges club where he told us he was waiting for us, but he wasn;t there. We tried calling his cell phone but it didn't pick up. A minute later we saw a figure leave the area that the polcie was gatherd in and walk towards us. It was Sharqawi and he seemed really disturbed. He urged us to move faster and to get him inside the syndicate as fast as possible, so we hussled and we got him in. Once we were in me and Alia noticed that he wasn't acting like his usual self. He was, for the lack of a better word, sullen. He then teared a bit and then composed himself. He wouldn't respond to any of our inquiries about what was wrong with him. He just kept silent and sullen the whole time.

While standing there, I started noticing that the number of SS soldiers started increasing, which wasn't a good sign, and that many of the foriegn journalists, now satisfied with the story they had, started leaving the area, which also wasn't a good sign and then we noticed that the police wasn;t letting their egyptian companions through, which defintely wasn't a good sign. I have seen this before. We were being trapped here.

I yelled at the girls to get up, that it was time to go and get out of here, since they started not letting people go. I asked Alia and a gorup of otehr people if they wanted to try and leave with us, but they said they were staying, which meant it was me and the 3 girls again. I found a an american journalist friend of mine, Paul (thanks by the way), who was heading out anyway and asked him if we could tag along. I grabbed M, H and R and headed after him. They passed him, but wouldn't let us go. They told us only the press was allowed out and since we weren't press, we weren't allowed to leave. We tried to reason with them, asking them at elast to let the girls go, since they will need to be home soon anyway. The soldiers wouldn't budge. Paul then managed to get a senior SS officer and asked him to come and help us get out. The Officer asked for my hand to get me out and I told him that I wouldn;t leave without the girls and that he has to let them out first. So he orderd the troops to let the girls pass and then let me pass. And we were finally out.

We then took a cab and ehaded to M's car, which we took to drive R. home while promising her that if we hear anything about Jimmy we would let her know. The poor girl just had her face platserd on TV cameras and digital pictures, was in a demonstration without telling her parents, which means if they find out they will crucify her, and yet the only thing she was worried about was Jimmy. Whether he was ok, whether he would get tortured, whether they would release him soon or keep him for a while. I honestly felt really bad for her.

On the way back to downtown I started receiving another set of phonecalls, which gave me some really disturbing news: The police was still surrounding the Press syndicate, and since the foriegn press was almost gone, they weren't letting people out at all (Alia managed to get out by a miracle). Also, we found out that the police had attacked the Ghad Party offices, which is right on top of the greek club and staretd beating people up. The whole thing seemd insane. And it wasn;t until we got home that we found out the entire story: There was two women demonstrators who , escaping arrest and beatings, ran into the building and tried to hide inside the greek club. The Police follwoed them both up there and dragged them out. The Ghad Party people tried to intervene so the police started beating them up as well. They then took the two women and started assaulting them (some reports claim sexually) inside the Ghad Party. The loud sound of female screams I mentioned earlier? That was them. The people inside of the greek club were not allowed to leave it or leave the building, and the Police crowded the enterance of the buidling to stop anybody from going in or out. The people inside the greek club had to endure hearing the sound of the police beating up innocent people, the shrieks and screams of the men and women that the police assaulted, with no  recourse or escape. And as far as I know, this is still happening while I am writing those words. And the worst part? There is nothing any of us could do to help. Who do you go to when it's your police that's assaulting, kidnapping and raping? What can you do to stop them, when they are the law? What do you do when you need protection from those who swore to protect you? Where exactly do you go?

Anyway, when I reached home 2 things happend: My phone suddenly died, which has all my numbers. It's practically my lifeline, and until it gets fixed I am screwed. The second thing was that as soon as I put them sim card into another phone, I got a phone call from sharqawi, who informed me that droubi called him from the police car and gave him some of the names of the people arrested with him. Here they are: Adham el sabty, Omar Mustafa, Ahmed Droubi, Karim El Shaer, Sherif Ragab, Mohamed Abdel Kader, Ahmed Samir, Khaled Mustafa, Mohamed Gamal, Malek Moustafa, Omar el Hady and Medhat Shaker. If you know of anyone else, please add their name to the comment section of this post. Also, check out Hosam's post for updates!

So, that's what happend. Now what? How do I end this? Do I tell you how depressed I am at the moment? How this signals the end of the dream of a democratic Egypt? No point there. Anyone who has been following this blog knows that democracy is dying around here. The truth of the matter is, I am  really mad, really really fuckin mad, at the egyptian people, whom we risk our lives for. I am mad at them for not caring, for accepting the roles of sheep, for not fighting for their rights and not doing anything while they see what we go through in order to fight for those same rights that they know they need and lack. I am mad at them for just standing there while they could  hear the screams of women getting beat up in front of them, and not even voice an objection. I am mad at them for the looks of fear in their eyes while we passed by, as if they are afraid to be tainted by us or something.But, between you and me, none of that is the main reason why I am really hating them right now.

The real reason is simple: Where does the government, the corrupt ministers, the ruthless SS officers and their soldiers come from? Aren't they egyptians? Don't they come from egyptian families and households? Aren't they born and raised here like the rest of us? Well, what does that exactly say about us? Whether we like it or not, the government is a reflection of the people. So if the government is ruthless, corrupt and dictatorial, what does that say about the people? What does it say about the parents of the police officers that order their soldiers to beat up and sexually assault women? What does it say about the families of those corrupt government officials who sign away our future and that of our children for a bunch of dirty money? What does it say about a nation that produces such a government, and accepts it, even as it plunders the country and enslaves its people?

Maybe the government is right: Maybe we don't deserve Democracy. Maybe we don't deserve our rights. Maybe we deserve everything that happens to us. We, as people, seem to lack the sense of self-respect and dignity that makes the human being demand his/her right, so how do we expect the government to respect us or give us those rights? We clearly don't deserve them. We clearly deserve to have our rights stolen, our friends imprisoned, and our women assaulted. Cause, otherwise, how would you explain how accepting we are of those things?

Maybe we don't deserve any better.

For the first time ever, I will go to sleep feeling utter hatred and disdain for my countrymen, while my heart weeps silently for my country!

I hope that none of you, ever, gets to experience that feeling! 

Playing with State Security

So, the new constitutional ammendments (which, if you wanna know how much they mess things up for egyptians, I recommend you read this) are being tested in a public referendum tomorrow, one that the Opposition wants, as usual, to boycott. Sometimes they remind me of that kid that no one picks on their team to play with, so instead he claims to think that sports are stupid. Anyway…

So the government just declared that it won't allow or tolerate any demonstration against the constitutional ammendments, in order to stop those opposition people from "delaying, opposing and stalling the democratic process". I am not kidding, I am just not sure of they are not either!  Cause, you see, whenever I read things like that, I wonder if the people who write this stuff do it while laughing hysterically. They must. Seriously!

So, the demonstration is today. 6 pm in Tahrir square. The Police are expected to show up and try to run after, beat up and arrest anyone that moves in downtown. Given that this sounds like incredible fun, I am so going to that thing. I just won't bring my camera. Don't really want to get that smashed! Also, the opposition hopes- if they don't all get arrested- to have a sleep over in the middle of the square. So if you never spent the night sleeping on the pavement of one of Cairo's biggest Squares, well, this is your chance! 

So Cairenes, if you do not wanna participate in the fun, make sure to go home before 5:30, cause downtown will probably get shut down today for a couple of houres. But If you have nothing better to do, and feel like playing with state secuirty in downtown cairo, you know when and where to go. 6 PM. Tahrir Square. And remember, this state doesn't recognize your rights, so therefore it is your civic duty not to recognize it back.

May the fun begin. 


Yesterday at 2 am I was awakned by a distant buzzing sound over my head. I hazely realise that this isn't the alarm or the phone or any of those things that make annoying noises that we employ in our lives. This was something different. So I look up…

….and I behold a giant flying cocroach that keeps thumping itself to my ceiling, as if trying to get out that way.

So I get up slowly, and I reach for my newest vanity purchase: The Rechargeable Mosquitto Hitting Pat!


This thing is basically an electric mosquitto swatter, in the shape of a tennis racket, and when turned on, you could use it to electrecute any thing that is bugging you, whether Insect or drunk obnoxious guests. And the best part is the way you charge it: you can plug it into an electrical outlet using its electric plug.


It's very economical and has reduced the time I spend Mosquito swatting by 80%. So, for someone as lazy as me, that's fantastic!  However, it was never tested on other insects before, and this was one giant roach. So I didn't know what to expect exactly. Regardless, I decided it was time to execute the nefarious bug. So dressed in only my boxers, and armed with my "Rechargeable Mosquitto Hitting Pat" (RMHP for short), I screamed "Spartaaaaaaaa" and went into an epic battle!

It was a pretty funny sight!

Anyway, once the battle started, I realized one thing: The dose it takes to kill a mosquito isn't enough to kill the flying roach. I hit it with it, and it zaps, falls down for a second, then picks itself up again. This thing is resilient. So, eventually I had to await my strategic moment, use the pat to stick the roach to the wall and then zap it repeatedly until it finally did its last buzzing sound andfell to the floor, dead. A moment of silence passed, as I acknowledged what just took place: The Little thing fought bravely, but in the end it was bested by me. I stood up in exhaltation, raised my RMHP high, and declared myself victorious. I RULE!

After deciding that, I realized two important things: 1) I need to find a way to close that stuck bathroom window, because it keeps bringing in mosquittos and now a flying Roach, which is pretty annoying, and 2) It was 2 am and I was wide awake. The Battle has wiped away my sleep. It took me 4 more houres to finally fall to sleep, which was stupid since I had to wake up in 2 more houres anyway. But victorious and tired, I went to sleep immedietly.

Later on that day, My friend M. passed by my house to chill and hang out. While we are talking, something came flying inside the living room. M. freaked out and jumped on the couch, and then off the couch and out of the living room, while I stood there looking at the thing, trying to figure out what it was. And lo and behold, it was another flying Roach, similar to the first one but smaller and bolder. I quickly relaized that it must be the wife of the dead Roach, and like the dear wife she is, she came to take revenge on those who killed her husbend. Just like Jaws 2. This time, it was personal!

Recognizing what I am up against, I ran to my bedroom and grabbed my "RMHP" and faced the flying menace in the dinning room, and this time, I knew what needed to be done. In a movement worthy of a Jedi Master, with one stroke I pushed the Roach into the wall, and then zapped it until it joined its hubby in Roach Heaven. And then, very cool-ly, I held the Roach on the RMHP and opened the apartment door, and with one swing threw the thing out. And I  turned around, and saw M. watching me in awe with her big eyes and she said one thing:

" I've got to get me one of these!" 

What's in a name

The last summer Lebanon War seems to be causing quite the problem in Israel : They don't know what to name it or call it, and apprently the name is necessary in order for them to deal with its political and psychological aftermath.

See, we arabs never have that problem. It's all part of the evil imperialistic wars of the jewish zionist entity. No need for introspection or analysis. We just don't have the time for that that Jews seem to have. Must be a guilt thing!

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