The Anna Nicole Smith Biopic??

Cause, you know, it's not like you didn't hear of her every day for the past two years and you are not sick from the sound of her name pronounced or anything. No, sure, let's make a biopic!

Altough, honestly, that would make a really freaky movie! It would resemble some David Lynch crap. I am not sure it would be believable. you know? 

Re-starting the coldwar??

I am not sure that under Putin it ever ended, but now the US seems intent on joining in!

The democrats going after Jessica Lynch now?

Seriously???? As if they didn't know that her rescue was a publicity stunt before? What's next? Investigating the "Mission Accomplished" Picture?

Goodbye VHS

Roba's ode to that old dying technology! Moneyshot:

Perhaps most dramatically for myself though, I realize that one day
I will be talking about those heavy, boxy things that you had to
manually rewind in the same tone that my parents talk about old vinyl
records:

“They were so big!” Mama would say. “And then, you would put the
needle on a specific location and it will actually start playing!”
“Really?”
we would ask her amused. “A needle? You couldn’t just press rewind and
wait for only 10 minutes for it to rewind by itself?”

None of those "Be kind, Rewind." stickers at Blockbusters! Ahh…  

What do Egypt and Iran have in common?

Persecution of the Baha'is!

On those reform minded Egyptian Judges

The mask comes off!

It's a fantastic day when you relaize that every person whom you viewed as a personal hero turns out to be an asshole in the end!

Hug a man, get fired

God bless the Pakistanis, they have the awesome ability to make every other muslim population look sane comapred to them!

Happy Easter, everyone

And don't forget to color your eggs and protect the secret of the divine bunny! (Damn you, Southpark!)

Happy Easter! :)  

Stand-up Cairo

Cairo is a comedy cow and we’re milking it.

Stand
Up Cairo is reviving the lost art of Egyptian stand up comedy. We will
be holding auditions on the 15/16 April from 6-10 pm during which
talented individual performers will be invited to perform a two – five
minute skit of original material in Arabic or English. We are talking
here about classic stand up: one (wo)man and a mic. We are not
interested in theatre troupes, nor do we want re-enactments of 1960s
monologues. We are looking for the accountants, students, waiters and
doctors who can find the comedy in Cairo’s craziness.

What: Stand Up Cairo auditions
When: 15/16 April 2007 from 6-10pm
Where: CiC (Contemporary Image Collective)
20 Safeya Zaghloul St. off Kasr El Aini St., Mounira
Contact: standupcairo@gmail.com
Tel: 02 – 3377535
Website: http://standupcairo.blogspot.com/

The end of lying

For those who don't know, I am a techno-phile. Facing new technology, I go all Ga-ga like a little child and point to my new newly wanted toy and go "Me WANNTSSSS", to like, no one in particular but me, since i have to buy my own toys now (damn you adulthood). So naturally I am very positive on new technology and gadgets, and am always finding excuses ways to buy new ones. All you need is find me a cool new feature, and I am sold. The Ultimate consumer in many ways. And one of the areas I am most affected about this is cell-phones. If I am to change cell-phones, I have to get me the newest, coolest, sexiest, most state of the art cell-phone. After all, it has to be worth adding all those numbers I have to the new one, otherwise my lazy ass won't do it. Anyway, this whole introduction was to drive in one major point to you: I LOVE TECHNOLOGY and almost never oppose it. However, there is this new feature in my new phone, that, well, is slightly freaking me out.

My new phone comes with the 2 G video conferencing technology, which means that the cell doesn't only come with one camera phone, but two: One for taking pictures of other things with, and the other to take a picture of your face when talking, in case you want to video-call someone. And it is that feature that concerns me the most. Remember how they used to say that camera Phones will end privacy as we know it? Well, those video-call phones are a harbinger of a different era: it will end lying on the phone as we know it.

This won't happen over-night of course, but the moment the technology starts coming out in newer models, more people will start the use it, which will create a demand for it, make it cheaper to make and easier to install in newer cheaper cell-phones aimed at the greater public's consumption (just like camera-phones. The cheapest phone now has one.). Eventually Video-calling will be the standard way to call people, and therin lies the problem: How will you lie to people over the phone anymore?

For example, when you want to skip work for the day, how are you to lie on the phone to your Boss or co-worker and claim to be sick, when one look at your face in the camera will reveal just how much you are faking it to them? Or, let's say that you are an egyptian girl and you have a curfew, and your parents call you to wonder where you are at and you are at some boy's house. Standard procedure is to go to the balcony, claim you are in a car getting home and there is traffic, while in fact you don't plan to leave for a few more minutes. Well, that procedure will end, cause they will be able to see that you are not in a car, and that you are in some apartment instead and its late at night, and , well, that your ass will be toast when you get home.

Hell, what if you are a guy who hides his political activism from his family, and they call you and you pick up un-noticengly in the middle of a demonstration, well, how ar u to claim that you are just passing next to one, when they will be able to see that you are actually standing and participating in one? Or the friend of yours that you want to ditch on tonight's outing, but can't do it unpolitely, so you claim to be home studieing while you are actually hanging out with the friends already; it used to be enough to tell ur friends to keep quiet till you end the phone call, now you have to leave the entire room out of fear that he might spot one of them in the camera. It goes on and on and on…and I am sure you can add your own examples from your own life and the lives of those around you, the same way I have used one from my life and 3 from my friends' in those past paragraphs. 

Just imagine the possibilities here: we are entering an era without lying-or at least, with reduced lying- over cell-phones. Those of you who don't lie will have no problems, but those of you who have jealous or suffocating spouses or significant others, controlling parents, annoying friends and  over-demanding bosses will be screwed. There will be no escape and no reprieve. No more excuses! Imagine that! and also imagine how many relationships this will strain or end. I am sure it won't be long until some people will refuse to use the technology ( women who just woke up come to mind strongly on that front) or continue using older models, which will be their only option to retain a semblence of privacy, and, ehh, their ability to lie over the phone. They probably won't have no other choice, because you know the cell phone people will keep making them better and cheaper, and a purer, more honest world will come out of it. A world with less lying! Just imagine what that will be like! 

Technology is a dangerous dangerous thing! 

Round 2

For those who are not familiar with this case, please go here , here , here , here and here for background information. For those who are, this is what happend today:

Today was the first session of the case at the new court, the sixth district court, to cover the case of Judge Mourad against the 21 websites. The Judge was supported by the Hesbah lawyers of the AbdelKarim case (they are trying to add his blog to the list of banned websites), and our side was supported, by, like many many many people, including the government. Imagine that. The Ministery of telecomunication sent a lawyer that was, for the lack of a better word, excellent. But more on that Later.

Judge Mourad presented his case, which was a whole lot of Bullshit. His first line of argument was that he was being attacked and slanderd by those evil websites, which is something that could happen to any Judge (Hint hint, presiding Judges, hint hint), and that he faces a very organized campaign of attack and slander against him since day one. His case then became that those websites and organizations insult the Quran, God, The President and the country, and some of them are funded by "foreign sources" that give them "bags of dollars" to help them continue to defame the country. He asked the court to demand from the NGO's a detailed account of where their funding comes from and then presented posts and pirnted webpages to support his claims. He also demanded that the court makes the sessions private and not allow publishing anything in the newspapers on the case.

Then our side striked back.

Gamal Eid from HR Info presented the plagarsim document, and made a very elequont case that this is very much a private vendetta thing and an attempt by the Judge to hide his plagarism, and has nothing to do with defending Egypt. He also wanted the Judges to ignore the gag order and continue nmaking this case as public as possible, since the man just publcially defamed them in court.

The Government Lawyer made a very detailed argument that a) It's practically impossible to block a website, since there are proxies that can access it, and b) That it makes no sense to block every website someone defames somebody on, and made the analogy that if a wrietr in a newspaper insults someone in his writing, the newspaper doesn't get shut down and c) that the Judge has no business telling the government which websites to block and which not to, and that if thatd oor gets opend, everyday someone will demand the pulling of a website, and they do not have the time, energy or respources to investigate every single one and block it , given that they know how futile it is. 

 The Judge then announced that he will make his decisions on the demands known at the end of the session, then came out with a decision to move the next sesion to the 5th of may and to ignore the Judge's demand for a gag order. The thing that makes you very optimistic is that the Judges seemed to really know the case and what's at stake and weren't exactly friendly to the Judge. So there is hope and a very good chance that this case could be very well thrown out.

After the session was over, a small but heated argument started between The Hesbah Lawyer and Alaa and Gamal Eid, given that the Lawyer was a witness at a police report accusing Manal and Alaa of insulting Judge Mourad the last hearing. This is bullshit, because, well, Manal wasn't even there. She had left at 10 am and the scuffle that took place last hearing where the alledged insulting happend, occured around 1:30 pm. The Hesbah Islamic lawyer, with his beard and all of his Koran spouting skills, is a liar and Alaa told him that to his face. Not that it matters of course. The man has no conscience!

It feels weird though to be on the same side of the government. Not sure that I am going to get used to that feeling. 

Oh well..

The blogger’s trial, session 2

I am off to court right now. The second session of the trial to block blogs in Egypt is today. Let's see what the Judge has in store this time for us!

On Cairo’s political Future

 

Cairofreeze is back! 

Action/Reaction

Let's say that your grandmother, whom you love more than anything in the world, gets sick and can't suddenly move her right arm or leg..

So, you take her to the hospital @ 2 am and get her the doctor to examine her.

The doctor examines her and decides that the reason is a blood clot of some sort…

..so he gives her some anti-clotting fluid or whatever, and she gets better for 12 houres..

..and then she starts homerraging blood from her anal cavity.

You realize that the doctor apparently gave her too much of the anti-clotting fluid, and they realize it too, so they fix that, and decide to give ehr a blood transfusion to make up for the blood she lost….

..only, instead of using the drip system to tarnsfer the blood over a few houres, a genius doctor decides to transfer an entire liter of blood in less than one hour.

This influx of blood causes some sort of fluid increase in her lungs, and she ends up getting lung adema.

She is 94! And she had to go through all of this over the span of 4 days. It's a private Hospital, the best care supposidly money can get you, so naturally there are no excuses.

Now, what I don't understand is, why is everybody so upset that I ended up assaulting both doctors who have been messing up my beloved granny for 4 days, and beating one of them- the one who made the one liter transfer decision- to pulp? I mean, I didn't break any of his bones. All he got is a couple of bruises, a black eye and about 12 kicks in the stomach. For the kind of horrible care he gave her, well, in any respectable decent country his medical license would be revoked and I would've sued him till his last penny for making a 94 year old woman go through this. Now, given that this isn't the case since this is Egypt, I figure him getting beat up by me is a fair equivelant. Hell, given that he didn't need one liter of blood transfusion, I reckon I let him off easy. No? I mean, any doctor that makes 3 life threatening mistakes over 4 days to an elderly women in her 90's, well, that's just someone who needs his ass kicked, right? And I didn't even get to beat him as much as I wanted, the damn nurses and other doctors had to intervene. The fuckers!

Ok, before you say it, I know, I know. Violence never solves anything, this wasn;t the rational thing to do, blah blah blah. Sorry, when it comes to to those I love I am not a rational person. I am sorry. I am not a violent person, and I almost never get into fights, but, ehh, she is my granny, you know? Seeing her bleed all over the place because the doctor is an idiot, well, it doesn't bring out the rational human being in me. And honestly, this doctor, for what he did, deserved it. It's a miracle that she is still alive, and ever since I beat him up, and the entire hospital saw what will happen to the next guy who messes up her treatment, well, she has been feeling and getting better. So maybe it wasn;t the most rational thing to do, but it deliverd results.

Oh well… 

She is coming out of the Hospital tomorrow. Thanks for everyone who prayed for her or kept her in their thoughts. I really appreciate it! 

Now all I need is some sleep! 

One by one

As we speak, Alaa, Manal, and Gamal Eid, the head of HR-Info are being held in the Dokki Police station, thanks to Judge Mourad. The asshole Judge filed an unsabstinated and malicious police report accusing them of insulting him in public, which isn;t true (hell, the man assaulted a blogger in front of the courtroom without provocation, something I saw with my own eyes). However, since they were called in for investigation, they have to be released by the police. In order to get released, a senior Officer needs to authorize their release, and not one was present. So, they transferred them to the Dokki Police station in order to find a senior officer to release them, only to find, you guessed it, no senior officer there to do it. This means that they may have to spend the night at the Dokki Police station until tomorrow comes and a senior Police Officer comes along and releases them. As Alaa put it in his latest text message, they "are in limbo"!

We are in for one hell of a year! 

Update: They are being moved now to the Giza secuirty department, and hopefully they will be released there! 

Not gonna go there

You know, despite my serious craving to do so, I am not going to make fun of the Cairo Conference, referred to as the Anti-War conference, against clonialism, imperialism, globalization, and Zionism. I mean sure, a conference that claims to be anti-War yet invites Hamas and Hezbollah is mock-worthy, but, ehh, a lot of people I know and am friends with on the left participated, and they are good people, plus I hear that the seminar on torture in Egypt was good, so I really don't think I will go there. Plus, if they think they can fight imperialism from inside conference halls, well, who am I to tell them differently?

So, no, I won't mock their conference. However, I will mock this piece by Sasha Simic about it, because it is really fuckin moronic and has some of the dumbest arguments I have heard in a while, and I know Nasserites, so that says something. Here is a little infuriating segment:

The conference met in a country on the brink of revolt. Hosni
Mubarak, who has ruled Egypt as a police state for over 26 years, has
recently increased his people's suffering. Last December he announced
changes in the constitution to "rid Egypt of socialist principles
launched in the 1960s (and) also seek to create a more favourable
atmosphere for foreign investments".

This was the usual neo-liberal bullshit for slashing wages and
forcing people to work harder. The workers resisted with massive
strikes. Some 20,000 mobilised to defend their bonuses at the Ghazl
el-Mahal factory in Mahalla el-Kubra, north of Cairo, 8,000 at Kafr
al-Dawwar factory did the same, followed by similar strikes at Zifta
and Shibin al-Kum in Alexandria.

They all won.

Mubarak's response was to attack the limited democratic rights of
his people – limiting the role of the judiciary in supervising ballots,
outlawing political activity based on "religious reference or bias" and
including draconian "anti-terrorism" measures to crush any dissident
political groups.

Ok, right off the bat, the past 3 paragraphs? All pure Bullshit! Egypt's not on the brink of revolt, as I've painfully demonstrated here. The socialist principles weren't socialist in the first place and changing the word didn't really change shit as I've explained here , and to call Mubarak liberal is an insult to liberals anywhere and everywhere. But whatever, all of this is nuttin comapred to the big whopping turd manifested in the last paragraph: that Mubarak changed the constitution and took away the democratic rights in order to punish "the workers for their revolt". A77a! Yeah, cause he is so scared of a couple of thousand workers that will shut up and go home the moment they get their monetary rights (which I believe they are due and have supported). Yes, I can see that making Mubarak alter the constitution. Makes sense!

Reading this just made me wonder who the hell this Sasha women is, and where she gets her crack. Upon googeling her I found that she ran for local elections in Britian on the Respect Party Ticket (always a good sign that you are a retard or an asshole, since it is the Party of Galloway), and not only that, she finished 10th! 10th!!!!!  Amazing, isn't it? A whopping 216 votes! Now that's a winner! Do the guardian blogs people have a screening process on who they ask to write for them at all?

I would really like to know! 

I love Seymour Hersh

From his latest al jazeerah interview:

1)       American
intelligence sources told him that Lebanese AND middle Eastern parties
opposed to Syria misled the Unites States and France with false
evidence (or manufactured evidence) designed to implicate Syria in the
Killing.

2)       His
sources at the UN tell him there is no evidence against Syria yet. That
the Hariri killing was very carefully planned and executed, and that we
might never find out who ordered that assassination.

He is so full of shit, it's awesome!

Pelosi meets Assad

Somehow, given who Pelosi is and what she stands for, this makes perfect sense!

However, before people start screaming treason, ehh, Mustapha may have a point that you might want to consider! 

Nabih Berri is still a piece of shit

Sure, nuttin new here, but it's worth saying!

My Humps

No other song have I hated more in the past few years than My Humps by the Black Eyes Peas, which is why this video by Alanis Morisette is the best freakin thing I have seen in a very long time!