April 2007 archive

The Anna Nicole Smith Biopic??

Cause, you know, it's not like you didn't hear of her every day for the past two years and you are not sick from the sound of her name pronounced or anything. No, sure, let's make a biopic!

Altough, honestly, that would make a really freaky movie! It would resemble some David Lynch crap. I am not sure it would be believable. you know? 

Goodbye VHS

Roba's ode to that old dying technology! Moneyshot:

Perhaps most dramatically for myself though, I realize that one day
I will be talking about those heavy, boxy things that you had to
manually rewind in the same tone that my parents talk about old vinyl
records:

“They were so big!” Mama would say. “And then, you would put the
needle on a specific location and it will actually start playing!”
“Really?”
we would ask her amused. “A needle? You couldn’t just press rewind and
wait for only 10 minutes for it to rewind by itself?”

None of those "Be kind, Rewind." stickers at Blockbusters! Ahh…  

Stand-up Cairo

Cairo is a comedy cow and we’re milking it.

Stand
Up Cairo is reviving the lost art of Egyptian stand up comedy. We will
be holding auditions on the 15/16 April from 6-10 pm during which
talented individual performers will be invited to perform a two – five
minute skit of original material in Arabic or English. We are talking
here about classic stand up: one (wo)man and a mic. We are not
interested in theatre troupes, nor do we want re-enactments of 1960s
monologues. We are looking for the accountants, students, waiters and
doctors who can find the comedy in Cairo’s craziness.

What: Stand Up Cairo auditions
When: 15/16 April 2007 from 6-10pm
Where: CiC (Contemporary Image Collective)
20 Safeya Zaghloul St. off Kasr El Aini St., Mounira
Contact: standupcairo@gmail.com
Tel: 02 – 3377535
Website: http://standupcairo.blogspot.com/

The end of lying

For those who don't know, I am a techno-phile. Facing new technology, I go all Ga-ga like a little child and point to my new newly wanted toy and go "Me WANNTSSSS", to like, no one in particular but me, since i have to buy my own toys now (damn you adulthood). So naturally I am very positive on new technology and gadgets, and am always finding excuses ways to buy new ones. All you need is find me a cool new feature, and I am sold. The Ultimate consumer in many ways. And one of the areas I am most affected about this is cell-phones. If I am to change cell-phones, I have to get me the newest, coolest, sexiest, most state of the art cell-phone. After all, it has to be worth adding all those numbers I have to the new one, otherwise my lazy ass won't do it. Anyway, this whole introduction was to drive in one major point to you: I LOVE TECHNOLOGY and almost never oppose it. However, there is this new feature in my new phone, that, well, is slightly freaking me out.

My new phone comes with the 2 G video conferencing technology, which means that the cell doesn't only come with one camera phone, but two: One for taking pictures of other things with, and the other to take a picture of your face when talking, in case you want to video-call someone. And it is that feature that concerns me the most. Remember how they used to say that camera Phones will end privacy as we know it? Well, those video-call phones are a harbinger of a different era: it will end lying on the phone as we know it.

This won't happen over-night of course, but the moment the technology starts coming out in newer models, more people will start the use it, which will create a demand for it, make it cheaper to make and easier to install in newer cheaper cell-phones aimed at the greater public's consumption (just like camera-phones. The cheapest phone now has one.). Eventually Video-calling will be the standard way to call people, and therin lies the problem: How will you lie to people over the phone anymore?

For example, when you want to skip work for the day, how are you to lie on the phone to your Boss or co-worker and claim to be sick, when one look at your face in the camera will reveal just how much you are faking it to them? Or, let's say that you are an egyptian girl and you have a curfew, and your parents call you to wonder where you are at and you are at some boy's house. Standard procedure is to go to the balcony, claim you are in a car getting home and there is traffic, while in fact you don't plan to leave for a few more minutes. Well, that procedure will end, cause they will be able to see that you are not in a car, and that you are in some apartment instead and its late at night, and , well, that your ass will be toast when you get home.

Hell, what if you are a guy who hides his political activism from his family, and they call you and you pick up un-noticengly in the middle of a demonstration, well, how ar u to claim that you are just passing next to one, when they will be able to see that you are actually standing and participating in one? Or the friend of yours that you want to ditch on tonight's outing, but can't do it unpolitely, so you claim to be home studieing while you are actually hanging out with the friends already; it used to be enough to tell ur friends to keep quiet till you end the phone call, now you have to leave the entire room out of fear that he might spot one of them in the camera. It goes on and on and on…and I am sure you can add your own examples from your own life and the lives of those around you, the same way I have used one from my life and 3 from my friends' in those past paragraphs. 

Just imagine the possibilities here: we are entering an era without lying-or at least, with reduced lying- over cell-phones. Those of you who don't lie will have no problems, but those of you who have jealous or suffocating spouses or significant others, controlling parents, annoying friends and  over-demanding bosses will be screwed. There will be no escape and no reprieve. No more excuses! Imagine that! and also imagine how many relationships this will strain or end. I am sure it won't be long until some people will refuse to use the technology ( women who just woke up come to mind strongly on that front) or continue using older models, which will be their only option to retain a semblence of privacy, and, ehh, their ability to lie over the phone. They probably won't have no other choice, because you know the cell phone people will keep making them better and cheaper, and a purer, more honest world will come out of it. A world with less lying! Just imagine what that will be like! 

Technology is a dangerous dangerous thing! 

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