Charboiled

I have to say that I love Kabobfest's review of The Kingdom. I mean, how could you not love the rantings of grad-students who berate actors for wasting "credit" gained in starring "progressive" films and manage to quote Noam Chomsky in the same breath? I ain't got nothing on those guys!

Selling american Brides online

This is very clearly a Hoax (if you are still hopeful about it, read this article and weep, Perv),but it does raise some serious questions to me: What, exactly, are the limits for pedophilia in light of marriage through Parental consent? I mean, I know there aren't a lot of 13 and 14 year old Brides out there in the US, but they must exist. I have seen enough small backwater towns with its people's minds running on the loopy side to know that this is quite possible. Hell, all you need is a bunch of realy bad trash parents- and god knows there are plenty of them- with one extra daughter they won't miss and some money they could be using. So, according to the law: Man sleeps with 13 year old, that's statutory rape. Man marries 13 year old with the approval of her mommy and daddy, and sex with her is legal and ok? Does the Girl have to consent? Can a 13 or 14 year old girl make such a decision for herself? How does it all work, really?

And as for our side of the pond, what difference is the dowry from the Bride Price? I know that some people will like to recite the comfortable distinction that a bride price goes to the parents, while a dowry goes to the couple, but you and I know that this ain't always the case! Hell, until now there are cases of a women's dowry consisting of livestock in farmland egypt. Not to mention the dowry paid by rich arabs who come to egypt for 2 weeks to a month marriage to a poor you egyptian girlwhose parents could use the money, which happens more than any of us would like to admit. And the public consensus is: this ain't prostitution, because they are married in front of God and society. They have a contract, you see. That makes it all legit. But all in all ignoring the simple truth: You are paying for a bride to marry you. You negotiate the Price with her family. Whether this money is spent on the couple's house or kept by the father is irrelevant: In order to be with that woman and have her have sex with you every night, you had to pay lots of money. And the more you pay, the more your new mother in law can brag about how much her daughter is worth, and somehow not thinking twice about how truly fucked up or disgusting this whole thing is.

So here is a Business opportunity for you: a website selling Egyptian brides, and instead of bride price one writes dowry, and the men can bid their money away for the chance of being the first to "hit that". It would all be legal as long as a marriage contract got signed, and surely there wouldn't be an uproar about it. God knows in our society, the worst thing that could happen to a girl is for her not to be married, you know?

For the 911 conspiracy crowds

The Jena 6 thing

I am super confused. Even after reading this detailed account of what went on. Can anyone explain to me what the fuck went down there? The story makes no sense!

Secterian Strife breaks over a Muslim Girl..

.. that was seen going into a house with a ..gasp..christian dude. A Muslim guy stopped him, being all like "whatchu doin with one of our bitches, homes?", and the christian guy asked him why he is cockblocking him, yo. And next thing you know each one has gathered up his posse and started up a fantastic street brawl where 28 people got arrested. My reaction: It's amazing that the Police even got involved. Egyptian Police is notorious for showing up houres after any street fight is reported, usually to pick up the bodies, because, well, none of them want to get hurt. But I guess the keyword here was Muslims and Christians fighting, so they had to get off their lazy asses to stop things before they kinda went out of control, which they kinda did and didn't. I mean, no one got killed. That's an improvement, right?

Word!

They got it wrong

I was checking out Al Masry Al youm's limnited English section when I found this article:

In his speech at the symposium organized by the cultural committee of
the Syndicate of Journalists the day before last, Dr Mohamed Kamal
Imam, Professor and Chairman of the Islamic Sharia Department at the
Faculty of Law of the University of Alexandria, said why do not we pass
a law expressly prohibiting marriage between followers of different
faiths, especially in Egypt, so that to eliminate the problems that
could occur because of this marriage and set off tension between
Muslims and Christians.

He stressed that there is no
contradiction between Allah's words: "Then whosoever will, let him
believe, and whosoever will, let him disbelieve" and "There is no
compulsion in religion" on the one hand and the punishment of apostasy
in Islam, because the first case – according to him – deals with the
belief and carrying out punishments.

Kamal pointed out that
Islam is a universal religion that realistically recognizes other
religions and allows Muslims to marry non-Muslims and that it is the
only religion that permits this, but enacting a law preventing
matrimony between Muslims and followers of other religions would
eliminate many problems

Ok, so they brought up two issues here, and they are wrong on both. First of all, preventing Interfaith marriage is not up to them. It was granted by Islam and it's not their place to claim that preventing them would prevent the problems that are usually caused by the secterian strife between Egypt's Muslims's and Christians. That's like trying to spite you wife so you chop off your dick. Interfaith Marriage isn't the problem, the problem is co-existance. And until we learn to co-exist, the problems won't go away.

The second Issue is the punishment of apostacy in Islam. There is NO SUCH THING. The Symposioum of Islamic Studies, the greatest, most distinguished and most Respected Islamic Studies Center in the World had issues a Statement that there is no such thing in Islam or in Sharia. The Idea of Punishment for Apostacy is based on the "Reddah" War that happend after Prophet Mohamed died, where many people who converted to Islam to stay out of Harm's way decided they didn;t need to do so anymore and tried to seperate themselves from the religion and its leaders. Facing this threat, Khalifa Abu Bakr made the decree that they and anyone who follows their example should be killed in order to to stop a massive drain of converts that he feared would take place. It was a political decision, pure and simple. Abu Bakr is not the Prophet, nor was he ever contacted by God about this, and therefore his decision is not part of the Sharia or the Sunnah and should therefore not be looked upon as such. And what drives me crazy is that this guy should know this. But upon reading the rest of the article I realized this might've been the meeting of crazies anyway. Check this out:

Dr. Nasr Farid Wasel, former Egypt Mufti, said that all scholars agree
that the punishment for rejecting Islam is punishable by death, because
Islam did not sanction apostasy, because it did not force or coerce any
one into embracing Islam, therefore a renegade must either repent or be
condemned to the punishment of apostasy, because it is the right of
Allah, the Almighty.

No mention of those who were just born in it. Note that!

 Whoever embraces Islam out of his own volition has made a contract with
Allah and with the group, therefore he has no right to revoke it,
because he embraced Islam after becoming fully convinced and he should
bear the responsibility of his decision", said Wasel

That's some Punitive Clause right there. You should've read the fine Print Ahmed. Defaulting on this contract is punishable by death, babe!

And now for the coup de gras, I give you Dr. Mohamed Al Musayer.

Dr. Mohamed Sayed Ahmed al-Musayer, professor of religion and
philosophy at al-Azhar University, said that it is illogical for a
Muslim to give up his religion, because Islam is a religion of reason
and proof and its great miracle is the Holy Koran and that there is no
other religion in the world that harmonizes with the mind, as people
around us worship cows, stones, trees and humans.

"Some of
those who have unstable ways of thinking believe that they are
defending Islam when they abolish some punishments, including the
punishment of apostasy. Those people have nothing to cry over, as they
deny the punishment of theft today and tomorrow they will deny the
punishment of adultery and after that the punishment of apostasy.

It
is a series to nullify Islam. Those who deny the punishment of apostasy
impugn the scholars and jurisprudents throughout the ages, since the
application of this punishment is clearly defined in the Holy Koran
before the Hadith (Prophet Mohamed's traditions). Allah says: 'Truly,
if the Hypocrites, and those in whose hearts is a disease, and those
who stir up sedition in the City, desist not, We shall certainly stir
thee up against them: Then will they not be able to stay in it as thy
neighbors for any length of time'", said al-Musayer.

"The
punishment is unequivocally and indisputably mentioned in the Hadith:
'whoever changed his Islamic religion kill him'. These are
incontrovertible Islamic facts. We are not ashamed of what we have, but
those antagonizing Islam feel so ashamed, because they protect
homosexuality and same-sex marriage. We do not want rifts in the
community, because this is a Jewish scheme and all Islamic communities
are infiltrated by the Mossad", said al-Musayer.

Yeah. I don't think any zionist schemes are necessary Dr al Musayer, not with you around. You do a fantastic job yourself!

Motherfucker! 

Saudis torture and amputate Indonesian maid

Words Fail me!

Plan US takeover

The Muslim Brotherhood have a plan to take over the US and it's found out in detail. The Plan also affirms that the MB members should beware of inflitration by the CIA, the Zionists and the..ehh..Free Masons??? They are a threat? To the MB?

I am confused! 

Should Isis go to Israel?

An egyptian blogger wants to go there for shopping purposes and asks for your opinion. Go give it to her please over here!

Your daily crazies update

Gaza-based Terrorists want to behead Madonna and Britney Spears for spreading satanic culture. I would be all for it if they wanted to do it for spreading shitty music!

Amman is for lovers..in tents.. on the side of the road .. who keep count how many times they had sex in it. Ehh..whatever happend to the Honor-killing capital of the world? The Standards are clearly slipping!

Saudi arabia is calling for  sexually segregated sidewalks. No need for a punchline! 

And finally, opening a Mcdonalds in germany is usually a non-event. except in kreuzberg, where police protection for those tiny burgers is necessary!
 

That Israeli Strike thing

Ever since Israel had that air strike inside Syria and the world is acting as if the Israeli-Syrian war is just around the corner. Of course, the silence around the whole thing is opening the door wide open for speculation : Is it a dry run for an Iran attack? Is it true about North Korea's involvement and the nukes ? Why is everybody making this much noise this time? And why do I always fall for Hollywood Hype? What? Lion King? Wonderful Movie. Seen it twice. Buy the Soundtrack too? You Betcha!

Just to end this: The Syrians are giant pussies. They won't ever, ever, ever go to war with Israel by themselves. They can't afford to. This is why they never joined the fight with Hezbollah last war. Unlike Hezbollah, Syria has targets and an infrastructure that can be bombed, while with Hezbollah Israel ran out of roads and bridges and started bombing milk factories. So yeah, Hezbollah can go to war with Israel, but Syria can't, so they won't. Not to mention, the Assad's are not interested in creating conflict or manifest destiny or creating a legacy or anything. They are a mafia in charge of a turf, and the only thing they care about is controlling that turf and keeping the money flowing. This is why they are not that big into getting the golan back. No money in the Golan. More money in controlling Lebanon. So yeah, they don;t want anything to mess that up. So yeah, no war on their minds.

Not to mention, Israel doesn't want war with Syria either. Bashar is their puppy dog. He barks but rarely bites. The only countries he actually attacks are his arab neighbours and not the Israelis. Plus he keeps the Muslim Brotherhood under control, and any war that destabilizes his regime will bring about a sunni MB government to take over, and the last thing Israel wants on its border is a radical Sunni Islamic government. So they will never do anything that will bring about the end of Bashar. The Devil you know and all.

So yeah, nuttin to see here folks. Move along now! 

They call those reforms now

You know, sometimes, Reuters just disgusts me:

Venezuela's Congress on Tuesday gave
preliminary approval to President Hugo Chavez's proposed
constitutional reform, which would lift term limits to help the
leftist leader cement his self-styled socialist revolution.

And since he is a leftist leader and his revolution socialist in nature, he gets a free pass. If it was anyone else, people would call it what it really is: A dictatorship in the making. But it gets better.

Chavez last week presented reforms to end central bank
autonomy, increase state expropriation powers and give the
president direct control over monetary reserves in a move
critics called a "coup" to keep Chavez in power indefinitely.

The legislature, 100 percent controlled by Chavez allies,
will hold two more votes to fully ratify the changes, which
must be finally approved through a popular referendum that
legislators say they hope will take place in early December.

"We are reforming the constitution to solidify … the
socialist nation, the socialist state, the socialist
democracy," said Carlos Escarra, a legislator and
constitutional lawyer who helped draft the reforms.

 He has already secured a firm grip on key state
institutions including the court system, the state oil company
and most state and local governments.

I used to know this super lefty activist who called Venezuela the most democratic nation on earth. I wonder how he views Egypt, because god knows the similarities are striking.

Google Spies on Hezbollah

Mustapha from Beirut spring makes a startling discovery.

Alan Greenspan channels Michael Moore

He actually went for the Blood for Oil explanation. Greenspan really went there. Holy Shit.

Oh well, just in case you forgot, it wasn't about the Oil, Stupid! 

Seth Green vs. Chris Crocker

Chris Crocker is the dude whose video crying plea on youtube for the world to "leave britney alone" has garnerd him instant internet celebrity status, and well, the mocking of almost everybody and their mother. Thankfully Seth Green is there for the rescue, and it's awesome! ;)

Roba is ENGAGEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

I've known for a while now, and been dying to post about it (she claims I am more excited for her than her) but couldn't until she announced it herself. So yes, ladies and gentlemen, the mighty Robanator is taken and off the Market, which means that right now many of her male fans who fell in love with her prose and art are getting their hearts broken. But Oh well, it was bound to happen one day. Hot brilliant people don't stay available for long.

So Congratulations ya Roba and the best of luck in the world. Farqa3y zaghrooutah ya BETT! And I still think you should name your first five kids after me. Will settle for the first 3.

Make sure you congratulate her here! 

Ramadan

Ramadan to me is like a social experiment in how Egypt would be like if we all smoked hash all the time and people were running around high. People look tired, droopy eyed, unable to concentrate, and unwilling to work. They are suddenly completely incapable of both driving and parking, and their ability to stay civil with each other is reduced by 70%. All they want to do is do nothing. They are always thinking about food, lots and lots of food, they get up in your face and look at you strangely with a mix of envy and contempt if you are eating something good, and they would be really happy if they could just go to sleep. When they eat, they eat various dishes of food in the most ravenous of ways, and they just sit afterwards watching TV and slouching on the couch. 

Now, doesn't that sound like every single pothead you know? Well, imagine an entire country of them, running around all day, causing all kinds of traffic jams and delayed work. Imagine entire families, forced into meeting each other in social engagements and having awkward conversations for an entire month. And there is NO ALCOHOL. Imagine an entire month where everybody is obligated to invite everybody over and spend a fortune on food for no good reason. And then they go out and stay up till dawn hanging out in the street and causing traffic till 4 am.

And people wonder why I stay at home this entire month.

And if that's not enough, there is the retardedness surrounding the ramadan outings. In Egypt you have Big tents, where you pay hundreds of pounds to go sit, eat, drink, smoke shisha and watch an assortment of middle-eastern pop stars and belly dancers entertain your supposedly devout islamic ass. And if you are actually devout, then you will take the month seriously and engage in the Koran reading activities (30 chapters in 30 days) and Tarawee7 Prayers, which are insane special prayers that last like 30 units of prayers and are done in groups. So the Tarawee7 socializing pressure starts: Who is going to pray with us? Don;t you want to pray with us? Why not? It's Ramadan. It's one month a year for you to be good. And you cave in and your evening is all shot to shit.

And in that month you grow so envious of women, cause they have PERIODS, which allows them not to fast and no one would dare ask them why they are not fasting. But noo, not the men. Unless you are sick or christian, you better be fasting. And really, it's not that I want to eat. I just want my morning Coffee, with milk and sugar, and maybe even a glass of water after that so that I can start my working day right. But Nooooooo. You have to fast or at the very least be considerate to your fasting compatriots and not drink, smoke or eat in front of them, which I think is entirely unfair and fascist. Why the fuck should I be considerate to their fasting needs? I mean, they are choosing to do so. I am not. If anything, they should be considerate to my needs. After all, the entire fuckin universe doesn't revolve around you just because you are not gonna drink or eat from dawn till sunset. GROW THE FUCK UP!

Oh God. I AM SO GROUCHY. This SUCKS. I need my Caffeine NOW! I can't even make my own Coffee. THEY CLOSED THE KITCHEN. IT'S LOCKED AND SHIT! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Day one is almost over. Dear God, make it go fast this year. Please. 

Sandmonkey classic: Alcohol is your friend

It's the spirit of Ramadan people. Get on with it!

The socialists wish you a Happy Ramadan

Smelling God-like

There is a christian perfume out now. Yes, they actually made one. It's called Virtue. I can't wait for the islamic version. They will call it Taharah!