October 2007 archive

Egypt is going Nuclear

You know, we, as a country, have a problem paving a decent sidewalk, and now we are supposed to be building AND running Nuclear Power Plants? Worried? Me? Noooooooooooo!!!!!!

Worst comes to worse, a nuclear meltdown happens and we lose a couple million people. Downside: Millions dead, and we start growing 7 foot long carrots. Upside: Population Control. Now that is something we need! Less Cars on the 6th October Bridge. YEAH! 

What she said

Me: roba

Me: i have a new problem

Me: i no longer have a jewish fetish

Me: i have developed a Palestinian fetish

Me: I need to get out of the middle-east before I develop a Libyan one

Roba: hehehe

Roba: thats funny

Roba: a palestinian fetish doesnt sound too bad

Roba: but please do stay away from libyans..

Retarded Haartez article

I can't figure out what the writer wants to say in this article: is he defending Egypt? Against who? Israeli intelligence people who wanna wage war against it? What? Since when? And over who? Hamas? As if Egypt likes Hamas? The egyptian president never met with Heniyah even when Gaza was still under Fatah "control". What are they talking about?

Maybe it was just badly written. Hmm.. 

The solution to Lebanese politics

Well, that was a post I was supposed to write, but I told it to Mustapha when I met him in DC, and now he wrote it (although he did give me credit), which goes to show you that you should not procrastinate on your blogging. Bad Monkey, Bad. But think about this solution for a second. I mean, honestly, an Ouwet vs Hezbollah Game. How could that suck?


Sometimes I wonder: How do Iraqis feel about american action movies? Cause I think they probably hate them. Chances are they watch romantic comedies and family movies for escapism there these days. Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock movies are probably very popular over there. And Disney. I bet they watch every Disney movie there is, even Aladdin, you know?
Plus, how do you think they feel about the eventual upcoming avalanche of masturbatory american military flicks- probably starring Tommy Lee Jones or Denzel Washington- that will eventually get nominated for academy awards about either Iraq veterans who are suffering emotional, physical and psychological trauma from some god forsaken mysterious mission- so mysterious you won;t get to know what really happened out there until the end of the film- in Iraq with lots of "It was hell and I was there, man", or about some  slightly fictionalized crazy ass real-life mission, like Black Hawk Down, that will have an incredible amount of serious violence and will be part of the zeitgeist for generations to come? Must be how the Vietnamese felt like after the Americans left, right? Did anyone ask them? You think they show those movies there? How are they perceived? Especially the horrible B movies of Chuck Norris and Michael Dudikoff? Delta Force, motherfuckers. Or Rambo, especially Rambo 3, with their "all praise to the brave Mujahedeen" line in it. They must really love that one there.
Fuckin A, man. Arab, Indian and hispanic actors are going to be working for years to come as extras in american movies as Terrorist A, B and C or as Iraqi army Officer "Hussein something" because, well, they are mostly Shia over there and god knows some anal associate producer with an obsession for "realism" would have to give the characters some seriously shia names for "authenticity". There will be lots of Aly's as well. No people with "kh" sounds in their names unless they are villians. Die Akkkkkkhhhmed, Die!
But at least the minority actors are going to be working, right? At least some good can come out of it, unlike an invasion of Syria for example. Cause Syrians are whites, blondes and with colored eyes. They look so Caucasian, that white actors can play them. Fuck that. Don't invade Syria America: Keep the brown actors employed!  

Iraqi cemetery workers suffering due to lack of business

..because the death toll in Iraq has been decreasing significantly. More than a 30% drop in deaths actually in the past 6 months. How about that?

A drop in violence around Iraq has cut burials in the huge Wadi al
Salam cemetery here by at least one-third in the past six months, and
that's cut the pay of thousands of workers who make their living
digging graves, washing corpses or selling burial shrouds.


Dhurgham Majed al Malik, 48, whose family has arranged burial services
for generations, said that this spring, private cars and taxis with
caskets lashed to their roofs arrived at a rate of 6,500 a month. Now
it's 4,000 or less, he said.

The Poor guys. They should form a Union and demand more attacks from the government or something. Oh and Iraq is not improving. No sir. It's a failure. And it won't get better. That's what the media you watch tells you, right?

Yeah. Make sure you listen to it. It doesn't lie at all!

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