On Amy and Noby

Dear readers of this blog,

It is rare that one passes by a story such as that of Amy and Noby nowadays. It's a story of love, marriage and retardedness. It's a story worth sharing and worth telling, and it will be told right here. I will let the story speak for itself, and will interject my comments in between. This story, like all good stories like it, starts with a wedding:

When Amy Robson was a little girl, she dreamed of one day marrying her
ideal man in a traditional white wedding in a church close to her
Cumbrian home.

Last week, when she married internet cafe manager Mohamed El Sayed in Egypt, the celebrations were somewhat different.

Dressed in a gold sequined gown and gold jewellery, Amy, the
runaway schoolgirl from Cumbria who has just turned 18, beamed
constantly as she marked her nuptials to the 30-year-old man nicknamed
Noby with a party thrown by her new in-laws at their home 30 miles
outside Cairo.

She is 18, he is 30, and he works as an "Internet cafe manager". And that's just the beginning… 

And despite her family's fears over her future, Amy seemed in no doubt that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Noby's friends, neighbours and dozens of family members gathered in the
flat in the town of Banha to watch the couple exchange silver rings.
They have spent just a few short days together, but Amy says she is in
no doubt that he is the love of her life.

Only a few days.. in no doubt that he is the love of her life…Ok, could happen. Keep going..

And as Noby's family fussed around her, proclaiming she had been 'sent to us by God', tears of pleasure coursed down her face.

"I'm just so happy," she said, wiping her eyes and gripping the hand of
her new husband for dear life. 'It's been an amazing day. It's a bit

"I can't believe how welcoming and nice they have been to me here."

Okay… all is well so far…so how did it all start?

Their relationship began in April, when Amy first ran away from home.
She fled to the Red Sea resort of Hurghada to be with married boathand
Tamer Hossney, with whom she had become infatuated on a family holiday
the year before.

When she arrived, Hossney stood her up. But as an international search
began for the schoolgirl, within a day she had fallen in love with
Noby, who was running an internet cafe in the resort.


An uneducated man with few prospects, he was at an age at which his
parents had begun to question why he had not married – and was
immediately smitten with the adoring young British girl who demanded

Despite his speaking only a few words of English and her speaking no
Arabic, he said he knew immediately he wanted her to be his bride.

 And her passport had nothing to do with anything…

Since then, the pair have developed a means of communicating that is
somewhere between Arabic and English, involving a few words of each.

"A lot of the time I don't understand, but it doesn't matter," said
Amy. "He is teaching me a few Arabic words. It's really hard, though."

Instead of talking, they spend most of their time running after
one another in childlike games of tag, which leave both in fits of

 Pain in my head..Blood pressure rising..

Amy's new husband does not want her to go out to work, so she will
spend her days indoors with the other women of the neighbourhood,
waiting for their men to come home.

As a young wife, she will not be allowed to go anywhere independently of Noby. And, as a fair-haired
Western woman, anywhere she does go, she will receive a great deal of attention.

When asked about the prospect of children, Amy confided she
would prefer to wait a while. Her new family, however, cooed that
children are a great blessing and said they hoped she and Noby would be
blessed soon.

And although he appears kind, looking after Amy as if she were
a child, Noby has taken her passport from her. So if her dream does
turn into a nightmare, she may find it difficult to escape.

You don't say? 

Yet for Amy – who is, after all, an adult capable of making her
own choices – none of this matters. When I expressed concern that she
would miss out on her own career, she said she had never been

Nooooooooooooo…I don't believe it.. Surely you are joking….

Until they travelled to Banha for the party, they had been sleeping on
the floor at Noby's brother Fauzi's flat. He works as a street hustler,
trying to attract tourists to buy horse-rides to the Pyramids.

He lives in a run-down block of flats in Cairo, with crumbling
walls, cramped living conditions and children playing in the dirt

Yet despite her less than salubrious surroundings, Amy insists
she has fallen in love with Egypt and is thrilled about her new life.

"I love it here – it's so much more exciting than at home," she
said. "I miss home sometimes, and Mum and Dad, but they don't
understand about Noby so I can't see them.

"I've emailed them but we don't speak on the phone and I didn't tell them I was getting married.

"If I'd stayed at home I might have gone to college, but I don't feel like I'm missing out. The only thing I
hate here is the food – it's really weird. I just eat a lot of pitta bread."


When asked what the future holds, Amy buried her head into Noby's shoulder and mumbled: "I don't know.

Questions about whether she will convert to Islam, her husband's religion, and begin wearing the veil brought the same reaction.

Noby plans to make a living by finding another internet cafe to run to
ensure his wife will never have to work, which he views as "not for

He hopes to encourage Amy to eat Egyptian food because he would like her to become plump.


Now, just in case you wonder how could she be this retarded, well, the story does offer a hidden clue:

Back home in the Cumbrian village of Beaumont, from which she first
fled to Egypt in April, her parents – James, 42 and Janet, 33 – are
desperately worried about their daughter.

Janet, her mother, is 33. Amy is 18, which means that Janet had her when she was 15, and thus got pregnant with her when she was 14. Yeah, good judgement doesn't really run in the genes of the females of her family, does it? 

Now, the comments on this story keep talking about how that story should be revisited in a few years and how it will show that girl's life turning into a nightmare, but , like, ehh, I doubt it. The Girl is stupid. She is dumb as a log. She escaped home cause she was in love with a boathand she met once (named Tamer Honsey, egyptian readers, notice that?), when she didn't find him she fell in love with noby, who couldn't even speak her language or she his'. She is not very bright, not very ambitious, and just wants someone to latch on to. And he will never let her go. It's perfect.

But noting that not many of you will share my outlook on this, which is "She is stupid, he is an opprutunist, they deserve each other", me and a few female friends from the US are planning to drive down to Banha come January and visit Amy to check up on her. We will bring her McDonalds with us as well, just in case she isn't sick to death of Pita bread by then. The girls think they can convince her of coming with them for a night out in Cairo, but I really doubt Noby will let her step outside the house at all. Chances are he will attack us with a knife or something. Should be interesting. Will keep you updated. And in case you want to join me on the "Bring Mickey D's to Amy" campaign, just e-mail me and we will arrange things. I am dead serious people. I am not gonna miss out on this shit!

0 comment on On Amy and Noby

  1. Andrew Brehm
    December 16, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    Yes, he is an opportunist; but he seems to treat her just good enough and she seems happy. A dumb girl like that could certainly have done worse in Egypt!

    He could turn out to be worse, of course, but at the moment it looks as if she might just have been lucky that he was good enough to keep her out of (more) trouble for the future.

  2. Nadav
    December 16, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    I guess some people shouldn’t be considered adults when they reach the age of 18… perhaps some kind of “maturity test” should be given out on that faithful day.

    I wouldn’t go visit her, if I were you. She might just give running away a second chance, and hide in your trunk. And then YOU will have to feed it.

  3. Nomad
    December 16, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    “leave her alone” wouiiinnn! ๐Ÿ™

  4. Joan
    December 16, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    If you feed a stray, it follows you home. And it seems as though the guy’s family is far more excited about his nuptials than either of the actual participants…they’d probably hunt you down if you took the only girl who will have anything to do with this guy away.

  5. tommy
    December 16, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    Janet, her mother, is 33. Amy is 18, which means that Janet had her when she was 15, and thus got pregnant with her when she was 14. Yeah, good judgement doesn’t really run in the genes of the females of her family, does it?

    It’s in the genes, I’m tellin’ ya! This woman probably has an IQ of around 92, so she probably wouldn’t have made it through college, anyhow. Still, if he doesn’t turn out to be abusive, it might be OK. I’ll cross my fingers on that.

  6. tommy
    December 16, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    “If I’d stayed at home I might have gone to college, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out. The only thing I hate here is the food โ€“ it’s really weird. I just eat a lot of pitta bread.”

    I feel you, sister. I’m not big on chickpeas, either. ๐Ÿ˜›

  7. Rona
    December 16, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    Running around playing sala7 all day seems like a pretty deep, heart-felt means of conversation!

  8. PyramidView
    December 16, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    Amy just turned 18. What’s the age of consent in Egypt? I thought it was 21 for girls/women.

    How long will it take Noby to want to move to the UK? Then, after a few years and he has his papers, his mother will arrange a proper marriage with a more suitable girl. Of course that may not happen because an Egyptian marriage would cost the family money.

  9. ella
    December 16, 2007 at 6:35 pm


    Don’t visit her in January, visit her a year from now. I think she will then
    – be pregnant with her first child
    – will revert to Islam
    – will have different view on her hubby (either “What have I done” or “he is the greatest guy I know”)
    – will have much lower opinion of his family
    – will kill for a taste of McDonald
    – will try to get his husband to the UK

  10. ella
    December 16, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    read: will try to get her husband to UK.
    I also thought of something else
    If she reverts to Islam then:
    – she will say that Islam is true religion, her husband and his family did show her the true meaning of that religion, and if she returns to UK she will try to convert her family, her former friends and everybody she knows.

  11. egyptchick7
    December 16, 2007 at 7:05 pm

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOO I laughed oh so hard at yourn commentary…Fin Banha? Fallehin or Saidi? Im totally up for bring Mickey D’s to her place ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. EgyPeter
    December 16, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    So instead of conversation they spend their days and nights together playing Tag?? Huh?

    Gotta be true love!

  13. vagabondblogger
    December 16, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    She’s just using Noby as a substitute for her parents. He’s using her for a visa (?) If she’s incorrigible, I think they’re going to have problems.

  14. Adam Lakeman
    December 16, 2007 at 10:43 pm

    Hmm and the dad’s 42, which means if he’s her father that he was 23 or 24 when she was concieved…eww!

  15. JT
    December 17, 2007 at 3:10 am

    Clue #1: he took her passport away.
    Clue #2: he forbids her to work.
    Clue #3: his family is talking about converting her to Islam.
    Clue #4: she doesn’t want children now, but her in-laws do.

    This foolish girl has no idea that she has just given up all her freedoms in order to be a caged, domestic slave. She will be used and abused, and will have no one to turn to for help.

    Help her if you can, Sandmonkey.

  16. kinzi
    December 17, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Help her, Sandmonkey. The US & UK Consulates in the Middle East waste our tax money dealing with girls like her. I’ve done it three times now, can’t take it any more.

  17. CMAR II
    December 17, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    It’s no big deal.

    One day, in the not too distant future, Noby and Amy will take a trip together to see Mum and Dad. They’ll come to the house and sit together around a coffee table trying to talk to Noby in his minimal English. Then Amy will have to use the toilet, so they’ll sit together in awkward silence. Then after 10 minutes Mum will say, “What happened to Amy?” She’ll go check the bathroom and see the window is open and Amy is off to her next “adventure”.

    Now for something completely different, Sandmonkey, check out the story on this Egyptian.

  18. Another Moor
    December 17, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    hahahhahahahahaahhahahaha,,,,that was some funny as you put it ..”shit”!.

    Anyways, I think you should just lay-off of Amy’s personal affair, instead of traveling 100’s of miles and spending all that money on a living, breathing, soon to be “plump” and healthy thing, try investing your energy on uplifting the horrible situation of women in (you can decide which state) USA. I can provide you with some links if you like or you can use google to find that sorta trash here. So instead of going miles to retrieve some garbage from another home you should focus on same crap sitting in your own backyard. Besides be glad the trash has moved to Egypt.

    And oh yea “JT….caged domestic slave” …..hm…do you know what a cage dancer is ? …google that shit …your people labeled it…

  19. Adrian from DK
    December 17, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    If she hadn’t found this wonderfull man, she’d roam around in the streets in some boring british town and end up in the arms of a drugdealer.
    After a while she’d be on heroin and beaten half to death every goddamn day, until her boyfriend ended up in prison.
    Then she’d find another “love”, a pimp perhaps, that would sell her pussy to whoever have UKยฃ 10.
    Perhaps she haven’t really made it that bad with Noby.

  20. anonymous
    December 18, 2007 at 4:11 am

    JT she doesn’t need help if she is willingly spreading her legs 4 her husband. I didn’t read anything about her being forced 2 marry this guy. She is poor white British trash and probably would have ended up like Adrian from DK stated above. Drug addicted, pregnant, on welfare and drunk every friday night at the pub while pregnant with her 5th kid.

    SM…I don’t think this girl needs u or any1 else for that matter as her Knight in Shining Armour..u must be f*cking kidding me

    she isn’t the 1st white girl 2 marry a dark Egyptian and she won’t be the last. Also if England is like most other Western nations she will need a steady job in her native country to apply to take him 2 England. Something this girl does not seem to have or desire. They aren’t going anywhere. Maybe he just like a white girl’s p*ssy huh?

    If u want 2 ride on a big white horse and rescue a real victim…Egypt is full of young girls or women who are actually hungry and would die to eat McDees…not to mention the rampant sexual abuse that is found in YOUR country…Go open a women’s shelter or something in Cairo and get your “American wanna save the world and do something for my conscience” girlfriends to volunteer…yeah right..like that’s gonna happen…all talk no action huh babe!

    FYI…Egyptian food does suck unless u r eating lamb kebobs every day..no thanks…and it’s fava beans they o.d. on not chick peas

    Banha is fellaheen! The Upper and Lower Egyptians are running the country!

  21. JT
    December 18, 2007 at 4:51 am


    all don’t have any compassion for this girl. Doesn’t surprise me at all that you would attack Sandmonkey for contemplating about helping a total stranger. Irregardless of his motivation, your criticisms were not warranted. Just because he cannot help all, does that mean he should not help those he can help? Perhaps one day when you need compassion the most, it will not be given to you. Maybe one day when you walk into a difficult situation in life and not realize it, those who see it will just look onward and not alert you.

  22. yochanan
    December 18, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Gaza Funeral Shooting Downs Power Line, One Dead

    (IsraelNN.com) A high-voltage power line fell over Tuesday during the Gaza funeral for two terrorists killed by the IDF Monday.

    The line was severed by shooting in the air.

    One person was killed and eight injured by the live wires.


  23. Valerie
    December 18, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    …try investing your energy on uplifting the horrible situation of women in (you can decide which state) USA. …
    Another Moor

    Now I have to clean the coffee spatters off my screen. In the US, the National Organization of Women occupies itself with making sure that the Augusta National Golf Club is open to women and works for “non-sexist car insurance.”


    In Egypt, the police strip and beat their female prisoners. In Saudi Arabia, women can’t drive or vote, and the judges sentence rape victims to 200 lashes and 6 mos. in prison.

  24. Howie
    December 18, 2007 at 5:00 pm


    Look at the two of us


    In many ways

    I think Karen Carpenter was a prophetess

  25. Al-Ayat
    December 18, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    Hello Ella…

    Do you remember the girl (17-18 yo) from Poland, who was going to fly to Egypt without even knowing her parents the destination country? I don’t know if she did it but this is the same kind of person – stupid princess. You know what I mean. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sometimes I think that’s a pitty people here don’t speak polish, some stories from our forums would be interesting too.

  26. Nadav
    December 18, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    It’s funny, while some of you got the impression that SM is gonna try and help the poor, McD craving Amy, I got the impression he`s just joining in on the ride so he can point and laugh. Surely, one way or the other, he will get his sandy arse beaten up by one angry Noby. His american friends, however, will get a bump on the head and wake up to discover they are all married to Noby’s brothers.

  27. Twosret
    December 19, 2007 at 4:13 am


    Egyptian food suck HAHAHA ya roh omak your taste in food sucks pretty bad. Omak !


    What is the big deal about this story, there are many worse ones than those in every country in the world. Many abused women for real with their husbands hitting them and sexually abusing them.

    She is free to chose what she wants.

  28. Dailyantics
    December 20, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    Lmao at this, especially ur McD’s mission idea, brilliant!

  29. brooklynjon
    December 20, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    I have to agree with Two here. This is just another story of a person who is chronologically and hormonally an adult yet emotionally a child. Reading between the lines, her parents were too. It’s pathetic, yes. But it’s not substantively more pathetic than the way this story plays out every day in countless other places. Just watch Jerry Springer.

    See, Twosret, I don’t think you’re always wrong. Often wrong, maybe. But not always! ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. hiraethin
    January 11, 2008 at 5:00 am

    Eh. It’s sad. Not surprising, really, but sad. There’s a million people like her, young and naive and without much ability or interest in thinking about tomorrow.

    Freakonomics explains how children born to parents who have their first child very young are more likely to be disadvantaged, and more likely themselves to have their first child young. And as Adam said, if her mum was 14 when she conceived… her dad must have been 23. Yuck.

    What is more sad is that there is nothing that can be done for this girl until and unless she decides for herself that her decision was a mistake and that she wants to go home – or someplace else. By then she’ll find it difficult to talk to anyone who will or can help.

    So, SM… you said you’d go check up on this girl. Did you? Will you? Let us know, and let us know what happened.

  31. Jackie
    March 12, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    I once knew Amy and her family, her father who Janet is married to is actually her stepfather, so could it be the way they treated her to cause her to run away?


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