The First Islamic Car

It's gonna be produced by Iran. What makes it Islamic? Well, it will be manufactured by three Islamic Nations (Iran, Turkey and Malaysia) and it will include decidedly Islamic features: It will contain a Prayer Rug, a Mecca-pointing compass and a "Koran Holder", just in case you feel like reading the good book while driving. The news is welcomed by the thousands of Muslims who are sick and tired of driving Italian Catholic cars or German and American protestant cars ( we are not even gonna mention the cars made by the asian infidels here), and wanted a car that shared their religious beliefs. The people are complaining though  that the car doesn't segregate between the men and women riding it, and therefore isn't truly Islamic. The company claims that segregating the car would be impractical from an engineering point of view, but promises to install vice sensors in the upcoming models that will blare an alarm saying"GOD IS WATCHING YOU, BITCHES!" in case a man and a woman got within touching distance from each other.

Onwards, Islamic people! 

0 comment on The First Islamic Car

  1. John Cunningham
    December 16, 2007 at 11:37 am

    I think I’ll wait until I can afford a Cadillac.

  2. Dorothea Lobert
    December 16, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    selten so gelacht,

    Danke fürs grossartige bloggen….
    eine treue Leserin

  3. spellz
    December 16, 2007 at 11:42 pm


    Islamic car with spikes or spanker to punish the infidels

    well i guess it’s more complicated than that
    a car is something good for economy
    u knw to be independent from others is gr8
    although those designers are punch of lunatics it’s good for them that they did that car
    3o2balna kda:D

  4. Gard
    December 17, 2007 at 2:12 am

    Does Iran include an optional bomb attachment for the ones it exports to Iraq? :p

  5. Chip
    December 17, 2007 at 5:47 am

    Gard… You bastard!

    Mine was “VBIED optional or standard?”

  6. Hot Camaro
    December 17, 2007 at 6:11 am

    Will the tassels be standard or an option?

  7. mikek
    December 17, 2007 at 6:47 am

    “the car doesn’t segregate between the men and women riding it, and therefore isn’t truly Islamic”

    You’re supposed to put her in the trunk you damn apostate. If she argues hit her with a stick.

    “Mine was “VBIED optional or standard?”

    I was going to make a comment about the doors being filled with nails and ball bearings. It’s kind of unfair to dump all of it on the Sandmonkey though.

  8. Eva, Canada
    December 17, 2007 at 6:48 am

    SM you are in an exceptionally fit form today. I knew about the islamic car but I didn’t know it had so many ingenious features. :)) I’d add two more:

    – It will stop automatically at the beginning of prayer time.
    – It will self-destruct at the driver’s first impious thought.

    Manufacturers, take notice!

  9. Kurt
    December 17, 2007 at 11:49 am

    I seem to remember there being a really long joke about “Islam Motors” at The Religious Policeman, like, three years ago. Weird. Eerie.

  10. Chris
    December 17, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    I understand an import safety feature of the car will be tires that blow themselves up

  11. brooklynjon
    December 17, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    Presumably if it is made in Iran, it will be powered by a nuclear engine. This is just another peaceful use of nuclear energy which they would otherwise never use to blow up Tel Av – I mean Jaffa – or any other city in Isr – er – the illegitimate occupying Zionist entity that will soon disappear. Nosireebob, it’s for cars. Yeah – that’s the ticket!

  12. ella
    December 17, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    there should be more features:

    On Friday it should automatically start a very loud alarm if the owner won’t drive to the nearest mosque. It should also, automatically, refuse to open door to any female who does not wear hijab.

    As for nuclear engine, it should get critical at the border or inside the Zionist entity………..elsewhere it will be peaceful.

  13. brooklynjon
    December 17, 2007 at 11:36 pm


    Ah, yes, the Zionist Detect-o-tron (TM), which keeps the engine’s control rods in place unless it senses a critical mass of nearby Zionists.

    I imagine the GPS unit would not accept a destination other than Mecca during the hajj.

  14. Twosret
    December 19, 2007 at 4:31 am


    Belated Happy Hanukah, I ate so much chocolate coins from the temple next door this year that I can blame 2 more lbs on the Joooooz this year before it ends LOL

    Man! I wish you stop mentioning nuclear stuff when it comes to Iran because Israel IS the one we worry about when it comes to that region unsafe nuclear activities.

    You know what I mean Jelly bean 🙂

    I’m glad you are still around and have a good Kosher new year.

  15. brooklynjon
    December 20, 2007 at 4:58 am


    In my neck of the woods, we haven’t been worrying much about Israel’s arsenal lately. Maybe we’re reassured by the fact that they’ve had them collecting dust for forty years despite having had a few tempting opportunities to use them. Or maybe its the lack of belligerent threats to use them, like, oh, saying that such and such a country would soon be wiped off the map, or having prominent politicians pointing out the survivability of a nuclear first strike.

    But thanks for the holiday wishes. I wish you, likewise, a happy holiday, and a healthy year to come.

    Love those chocolate coins!

  16. ito
    January 24, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    I think all these cars should come out with the “I Heat Israel” Sticker. Not optional but mandatory.
    B(ean) J(elly) It’s interesting that even chocolate takes the form of money eh ( :
    This conspiracy is becoming more and more obvious.

    Positive is How I live. And by positive I mean Pot.


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