52% of Americans: there is progress in Iraq

Up from 39% last year. Hmm…

Tightening things up

Women of the world, stop your Keegel exercises. There is apparently a sudanese sauna-like tradition that tightens things up down there and drives sudanese men wild . Drima, so is the smell of Taali really all that? Let me know!

Qhadaffi pitches his tent in France

Oh man, what would we do without this guy? The Middle-East will be 30% less funny after he dies!

Satire is dead

Just watch this Hillary for Change ad and laugh with me!

On the rooftops of Cairo

Oh, the messed up and sad stories you will find!

America will legalize and Privatize domestic spying?

WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS TRUE?

Mike Huckabee believes God wants him as President

Wasn't that W. Bush's problem? What happened? We watching re-runs now? Check it out here!

A 10,000 people Evangelist desert Festival in Egypt?

Huh? These things happen here?

The inevitable conclusionto..ehh..forget it

Now it's a T-shirt.

I give up! 

Not a fan of London

Ok, I just came back from my trip, and I have to say that I am not going to be one of those people that gush and rave about London. Sorry Londoners, but your city SUCKS. It's expensive, it's dreary, the weather is depressing and everything shuts down way too early. Plus, food? Not your strong suit. I ignored the Black Pudding and the fish and chips, but low and behold even your McDonalds tasted like crap. You managed to make crappy MickeyD's taste even more crappy. And people still eat it. It's surreal.

But yeah, there are new rules of travel for me, if I ever go again back to london:

1) Don't Go to London.

2) If you have to go for work, demand that your per diem be given to you in British pounds. Don't take dollars. It's depressing how fast the 100 dollars shrinks there. And most definitely don't take egyptian pounds.

3) Avoid anything you don't know in regards to food. The general rule there is that food sucks. Wagamama is a pleasant exception.

4) Don't meet up and get drunk with an ex flame of yours that you haven't seen in 7 years. It's a bad idea. You will end up hhaving screaming matches at the London Tube at 11:30 PM (That's very Late London Time). 

5) Don't buy houses there and don't rent either. A 120 sqre foot apartment anywhere in central London is 1.5 million British Pounds and Up. A 3 by 4 room costs 2k British Pounds per month for rent. EXPENSIVE!

6) If you are a smoker, ehh, bring your cogarettes from home. Cigs (I refuse to call them FAGS) are expensive. I am not a smoker, but when I see a carton of cigarettes costing 60 british pounds, and a gram of cocaine costing 40 british pounds, ehh, I sense that there is something very wrong there!

7) An Umbrella is your bestfriend. The constnat rain thing? Not a myth.

8) Make sure you get your fill of the Sun before your travel. The No Sun thing? Not a myth either!

9) Don't expect your hotelroom to be big. Nothing is big in London. Not even teeth. 

10) Unless you are a stupid Egyptian tourist, avoid Oxford street like the plague. It's a tourist trap. Ditto for Soho and Piccadilly square. Stick to Camden. It's nice there.

11) Never Travel with co-workers. You will never get to do what you want and they will make your life there miserable. Try to ditch them as soon as possible. 

12) And last but not least, the Oyster card is your bestfriend. Get one asap once you are in London. You will save like crazy on transportation. 

But like, don't visit London. New York is much better, and the JFK security procedures are nothing compared to the Heathrow one.

One highlight though: The Duty free stores in Terminal Three. They actually had a Bailey's Bar set up that gave out free shots of Bailey's. Ahh…Heaven! Bought 9 bottles from there. 9! Just in time for New Years.

Party @ the Monkey's crib anyone? 

The inevtiable conclusion to Teddy Mo part 2

 

The Mohamed Teddy Bear..for sale on E-bay, and comes with this warning:

For sale due to a change in the school curriculum.

Mo is a delightful little bear who all children would love, but not some adults.

Condition: As new, but by time of delivery may have 40 scratch marks on back.

Oh man! We are never gonna hear the end of this!

The Plate Flipper

For those of you who might want to prevent someone from seeing your plate numbers or would like to deliver a message to a lawman chasing your speeding criminal ass, I present you with the Plate Flipper:

Would sell well in Egypt probably!

The inevtiable conclusion to Teddy Mo

In response to the latest ruling ..Dan Savage..the known gay sex-columnist…ehh…mouthes off:

Gee, sentenced to be deported. You’re really twisting the ol’ knife there, Sudan.
No doubt after being arrested on a bullshit blasphemy charge,
threatened with forty lashes and six months in prison, and then packed
off to a prison for two weeks where she’s likely to encounter physical
violence and may just contract malaria—I’m sure after enduring all that, Sudan, remaining in your shithole country was Gibbons’ fondest wish.

This whole mess cries out for a Teddy Roosevelt. Enough with the
“expressions of displeasure” from the diplomats. Someone in the British
government needs to deliver a “Perdicaris alive or Raisuli dead!” speech on Gibbons’ behalf. And mean it.

Before I go home tonight I’m going to pop across the street to the
new Crypt, buy myself a buttplug, and name the fucking thing Mohammed.

Rice is retarded

She tries to do an off the cuff speech on the Palestinian Israeli conflict, tries to make a comparison between Black segregation history and israelis and palestinians, and ends up, in her attempts to make everyone happy, completely offending both sides.

Meanwhile, Rice, speaking after Livni, reflected on
her childhood in the segregated South and said it allowed her to better
understand both sides of the Israel-Palestinian conflict.

[...]

She told delegates that when a local church was
bombed by white separatists, four girls were killed, including one of
her classmates.

"Like the Israelis, I know what it is like to go to sleep at
night, not knowing if you will be bombed, of being afraid to be in your
own neighborhood, of being afraid to go to your church," she said.

She added, however, that as a black child in the South,
forbidden to use certain water fountains and shunned from certain
restaurants, she was also in a good position to understand the feelings
of the Palestinians.

"I know what it is like to hear to that you cannot go on a road
or through a checkpoint because you are Palestinian," she said. "I
understand the feeling of humiliation and powerlessness."

Oh..OK.. So, the Israelis are both the white segregationists and the black Bomb victims, and the Palestinians are the segregated blacks and the white supremacist bomb makers. Is that your point? So..ehh..ok..hmm..oh..I get it..you are trying to say they are both black, and thus victims? Or is it that they are both white, and thus assholes? I am sorry, I am lost here. I am sorry. I just don't speak Rice!

The Mo Teddy Photo Essay

 So, this old british teacher lady decided one day to have her kids vote on naming a Teddy Bear…

 …which the kids decided to name "Mohamed"…..

 Which pissed off all of those people to the point of asking for her head…

 

 …and got her coward of a Boss to fire her ass and say he had nothing to do with her…

 

 ..and managed to get her 15 days in jail and a deportation sentencing (instead of 40 lashes mind you) , all because she asked kids to name a teddy bear… 

 

 ..so you will all forgive me when I find it kind of hard to to believe, that this Teddy bear is part of some plot to insult Islam and make muslims look bad..

 

 …when Muslims always manage to do such a fantastic job all on their own!

Just trying to give credit where credit is due y'all!

PS: apologies for using this photo essay- which will probably insult the intelligence of many readers of this blog- to try to make my point. After watching this unfold for the past few days I've come to the conclusion that there are for more retarded people in the world then I ever imagined, so I figured a simplified photo essay with not too many words might just do the trick. Gotta reach out to them, man, they are too many to kill. Unless we remove the safety warnings off of everything and have the problem work itself out. Ahh, one can only dream!  

Bush’s entourage

Every time he travels, this is who and what he takes with him:

Not fucking around, is he? 

Understanding Suicide-bombing through Halo 3

An interesting perspective:

Whenever I find myself under attack by a wildly superior player, I
stop trying to duck and avoid their fire. Instead, I turn around and
run straight at them. I know that by doing so, I'm only making it
easier for them to shoot me — and thus I'm marching straight into the
jaws of death. Indeed, I can usually see my health meter rapidly
shrinking to zero.

But at the last second, before I die, I'll whip out a sticky plasma
grenade — and throw it at them. Because I've run up so close, I almost
always hit my opponent successfully. I'll die — but he'll die too, a
few seconds later when the grenade goes off. (When you pull off the
trick, the game pops up a little dialog box noting that you killed
someone "from beyond the grave.")

It was after pulling this maneuver a couple of dozen times that it
suddenly hit me: I had, quite unconsciously, adopted the tactics of a
suicide bomber — or a kamikaze pilot.

It's not just that I'm willing to sacrifice my life to kill someone
else. It's that I'm exploiting the psychology of asymmetrical warfare.

Because after all, the really elite Halo players don't want
to die. If they die too often, they won't win the round, and if they
don't win the round, they won't advance up the Xbox Live rankings. And
for the elite players, it's all about bragging rights.

I, however, have a completely different psychology. I know I'm the underdog; I know I'm probably going to get killed anyway. I am never going to advance up the Halo 3 rankings, because in the political economy of Halo, I'm poor.

Specifically, I'm poor in time. The best players have
dozens of free hours a week to hone their talents, and I don't have
that luxury. This changes the relative meaning of death for the two of
us. For me, dying will not penalize me in the way it penalizes them,
because I have almost no chance of improving my state. I might as well
take people down with me.

Or to put it another way: The structure of Xbox Live creates a world
composed of two classes — haves and have-nots. And, just as in the
real world, some of the disgruntled have-nots are all too willing to
toss their lives away — just for the satisfaction of momentarily
halting the progress of the haves. Since the game instantly resurrects
me, I have no real dread of death in Halo 3.

But before you get all outraged.. 

I do not mean, of course, to trivialize the ghastly, horrific impact
of real-life suicide bombing. Nor do I mean to gloss over the
incredible complexity of the real-life personal, geopolitical and
spiritual reasons why suicide bombers are willing to kill themselves.
These are all impossibly more nuanced and perverse than what's
happening inside a trifling, low-stakes videogame.

But the fact remains that something quite interesting happened to me because of Halo.
Even though I've read scores of articles, white papers and books on the
psychology of terrorists in recent years, and even though I have (I
think) a strong intellectual grasp of the roots of suicide terrorism,
something about playing the game gave me an "aha" moment that I'd never
had before: an ability to feel, in whatever tiny fashion, the strategic logic and emotional calculus behind the act.

I get what he is talking about. Do you? 

Wisdom of the Day

"What is to give light must endure burning."  – Viktor Frankl

That is all! 

Marry an Israeli man, lose your egyptian nationality

Mofeed Shehab, the government's minister for legal and administrative affairs, has just clarified an important legal issue when it comes to Egyptian women: If they are married to an Israeli, and they have kids, the kids do not get the egyptian nationality, unlike their counterparts with Fathers from other countries. Why? Well, because, apparently, if they are married to an Israeli male, their egyptian nationality will be immediately dropped by the egyptian government. The same can not be said of egyptian males married to Israeli women, who continue to retain their nationality rights and their kids do get egyptian passports, even though their mothers are Jewish. Why? well, because we are retarded sexist pigs of course. Thought you knew.

However, egyptian women married to Israeli men shouldn't fret about being alone in the "Marry this man and your kids won't get a passport" category, because they are not. There is one other exception to this law, one other nationality that if our women get hitched to, their kids won't get an egyptian passport or nationality, and that's the Palestinians. In our own special way, we are making those two equals.

Nice, heh? 

Actual Sabaya advertisement Poster

This is the real deal. The marketing poster of the Cafe/ Beautysalon that bans christians and non-Hijabi women :

 

Does anybody else love the fact that it's called the "Veiled beauty center"?