2007 archive

Putin is Time Magazine's Person of the Year

 

Cause, you know, people who aren't despotic dictators the world over were busy..

Fuck, even Al Gore would've been better than this guy.

Anyway, Article on him here, and interview with him here. The interview is telling. Here is a Money quote:

What do you think are American misconceptions about Russia?
Well, you know, I don't believe these are misconceptions. I think this
is a purposeful attempt by some to create an image of Russia based on
which one could influence our internal and foreign policies. This is
the reason why everybody is made to believe, like, it's O.K. to pinch
the Russians somewhat. They are a little bit savage still, or they just
climbed down from the trees and probably need to have their hair
brushed and their beards trimmed.

Chip on shoulder much? No wonder he is such a dick! 

Catch-22

Let's say you are a guy, and you have a close female friend whom you are not interested in otherwise. One day You notice that female friend distancing herself, so you ask her what's going on, and she tells you that she believes/thinks/suspects that you have feelings for her beyond that of friendship and she doesn't like it. Pray tell, what would you do?

Let's go over your options at that moment, shall we? There really are only 2 of them: 1) You agree with the friend or 2) You deny what your friend is saying. Now, option #1 is out, because, well, as we previously mentioned you don't have feelings for her beyond those of friendship. So you go for option #2 and deny, which the girl probably won't believe anyway. So, my dear friend, I would like to inform you that either way you are fucked!

It's the ultimate catch-22 and there is no real way out, because even if you deny, how can you really prove it? I mean, it's hard enough to show you are in love with someone, can you imagine how hard it is to prove that you are not in love with them but still like them as friends? It's almost impossible.

The moment they utter those words and you immediately become a suspect, and you are guilty till proven innocent and there is no fair trial. You find yourself immediately on the defensive. You start wondering when did this start in her head. If every time you greeted her with a hug or a kiss on the cheek you were considered a suspect. You start replaying phone calls and conversations in your head, and wonder what you said that could've implied this. You start thinking that this must be how being a woman must feel like, and thank your gods you don't have to do it all the time and you start regretting not currently dating a woman, because had you done that you could've just pointed at her and be like "Oh, but I am with her" and your friend will start looking like the egomanical paranoid person that she is currently being. But you are a single guy, which means you have no alibi and the glove fits. There is no way out for you.

Well, when this happens to you, as it happened to me, there is really not much that you can do. And since no piece of advice is readily available to you, you have to come up with some rules of your own on the spot. Here is what I came up with:

1) Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny. And if you can, try to turn it into a joke. Chances are they won't let you, because they are probably wearing their "Bitch shoes" if they decide to have this conversation with you and once those shoes are on, boy, they ain't coming off with a smile. But try anyway…

2) Tell her that to combat any suspicion from her side that from this moment on, you will not touch any part of her, ever, no matter what the reason. Not in greetings, goodbyes, times of sorrow, times of joy, if she is falling apart or falling down the stairs. You are not going near her at all. She is a leper as far as you are concerned.

3) Take the mental note to never ever call, IM or text message her from now on. God knows a simple "How r u?" could be interpreted as the suffocating greeting of a psycho friend who is bent on continuing to have feelings for her, and who would want that? No Hallos, No Miss yous, and most defiantly NO POKING on facebook. Got that?

4) Decide that this friend, for at least the short run, is gone from your life. If you depended on that person, or was part of your inner circle, start getting used to the idea that they won't be there anymore. Why? Because if you seek their help at your time of need, god only knows how they will interpret it, so why even bother with this crap when you are in a bad place? Just call someone else.

5) Remember that this is her choice, that she created the problem, so it's ok to hate her if the situation requires it. But don't do it immediately. Give it like a month or so. Remember that she could also be a confused soul, and it's good to give her the time to figure stuff out in her head. But if you cared for that person,and they shut you out just like that because of something in their heads, then it might just be ok to hate them. Just take your time with this step. And if you take it and she protests it, please remind her that this is all her fault, and an irrational action warrants an irrational reaction. Newton First Law, Bitches!

6) Inform her that you are going to keep your distance until she figures her shit out. If she wants to get over herself and call you, that's fine. If she doesn't, well, that's her choice as well, and revert to rule #5.

7) Start looking for a girlfriend. Any girlfriend. You don't even have to like her. She doesn't even have to be nice, pretty or literate. Just get rid of your suspicious singledom. You are not gonna fall in this trap again.

That's all I have for now. If you have any suggestions, please add them to the comments section. If you suspect such a thing from a friend of yours, please, get over yourself before doing something stupid or acting funny. This isn't fun!

And if you are a female friend of mine and reading this, please realize that I am not in love with you. I am very forward with my emotions, and if I was, I would've told you. And if I hang out with you a lot, it's because you are fun to hang out with and I am not seeing someone. But the moment I will start seeing someone, I promise to ignore you like everybody else does. Ehh..I mean give you less attention. I will be busy. You know what I mean.

So yeah, that's all. Oh, and again, NOT IN LOVE WITH ANY OF YOU. OK?

Fuckin Hell…

Happy Waqfah and Eid everyone

I was gonna attempt translating the word waqfah, but Happy Erection day just didn't sound right.

Either way, hope everyone enjoys their ritual sacrifice tomorrow.Not a good time to be a sheep, I must say. May God accept your offerings and bless you and all this good stuff. 

I can't believe I will have to have sheep meat for breakfast tomorrow. But that's Eid for you. Sheep all day. I just feel bad for the ones I see on the streets. Do you think they know that come sunrise tomorrow, they will get slaughterd and eaten? They probably feel really happy about all the extra food they have been receiving this past month by their owners, not knowing that it's in order for them to fetch a higher price by kilogram, and then get their head chopped off.

Hmmph… 

We are a mean mean species!

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