Spot on

At First, it was a snarky paragraph in an anti-Obama piece

 But, rhythmically, it's quite alluring. It can make anything, even, for
example, a simple chair, seem magnificent. Why vote for someone who
says: 'See that chair. You can sit on it' when you can have someone
like Obama say: 'This chair can take your weight. This chair can hold
your buttocks, 15 inches in the air. This chair, this wooden chair, can
support the ass of the white man or the crack of the black man, take
the downward pressure of a Jewish girl's behind or the butt of a
Buddhist adolescent, it can provide comfort for Muslim buns or Mormon
backsides, the withered rump of an unemployed man in Nevada struggling
to get his kids through high school and needful of a place to sit and
think, the plump can of a single mum in Florida desperately struggling
to make ends meet but who can no longer face standing, this chair, made
from wood felled from the tallest redwood in Chicago, this chair, if
only we believed in it, could sustain America's huddled arse.'

But someone took it and ran with it in the comments section..

Biden: I have worked with chairs all over the world, and most members of Congress agree with my plan for how to make chairs
Bloomberg: I've put together a committee to survey voters on whether they want me to make their chairs
Clinton: I have the most experience in making chairs
Edwards: I will fight the chairmakers!
Giuliani: I can best protect you from the danger of chairs, just as I did in NYC
Huckabee: Chairs did not evolve, but were created
Kucinich: We should have a one-payer system for chairs
McCain: My friends, I believe we can sit together in our chairs and work out bipartisan solutions without torture
Obama: Together we can create chairs in a new way
Paul: Why is the government involved in making chairs?
Romney: Venture capitalism has made American chairs the greatest in the world
Tancredo: We must build a fence to keep out foreign illegal chairs
Thompson: I like a comfortable, yet presidential looking chair


0 comment on Spot on

  1. Memz
    January 14, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Touche indeed. SM waiting for the Egyptian edition written by you 🙂

  2. Morgan Farmer
    January 14, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    SM you crack me up. Every post is a new journey. Keep up the great work!

  3. bajagafaga
    January 14, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Still waiting for the punchline..

  4. Nadine
    January 15, 2008 at 12:42 am

    I just read that article today and nearly peed myself. And it turns out that the “Done” post was the one google links me to whenever i type in sandmonkey in the search bar.

  5. Chellebelle
    January 15, 2008 at 12:51 am

    Let me disagree with the applause from the 3 posters that preceed me.

    Sorry but you missed the point. The article was a condemnation of the politics of Nothing. Committing to nothing, to do nothing by saying nothing. And the article accuses ALL the candidate of this, Obama is just his primary example.

    Lets see what has been burning up the airwaves of late…Hillary’s almost crying, comments about MLK who, as revered as he is in the USA has been dead for 40 years, Gloria Steinhams op/ed piece about race and gender in the Presidential race. Did Hillary win because middle aged white women in got mad because Obama said she was likeable enough in the NH Debates.

    Clearly it works but it doesn’t deal with this countries position in the world and how any candidate plans to rehabilitate it, it doesnt deal with the serious problems of healthcare, rising oil and food prices, the credit crisis (its moving from housing to credit cards, autos and utilities) and the looming recession!!!

    Sandmonkey you are not a US citizen so I can understand you have a certain detachment to whats going on here, but to the people living in the USAand I dont know if any of those applauding your cleverness has are in fact from the US, but if they are, shame on them. We have serious issues to deal with here, and not speaking truth to power, when we are one of the few countries that really allows its citizens to do that, is inexcusable.

  6. Tantor
    January 15, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Chellebelle, blow it out your hind end, you insufferable, sanctimonious, self-righteous blowhard. I’m as American as they come and I’m telling you SM’s parody list is FUNNY.

    I watched Obama’s onslaught of ads in Iowa during New Year’s where he was constantly preaching to the TV audience how they were gonna change the world, yet he never mentioned any details. Obama is the biggest gasbag in a herd of big gasbags. He richly deserves mockery for so eloquently saying nothing, for substituting style for substance.

    I have some more to add to SM’s pile:

    Gore: I invented the chair.

    Clinton: I. Did. Not. Sit. In. That. Chair.

    Edwards: I will fight for you against the chair makers who hold you down!

    Clinton: It depends on what your definition of chair is.

    Kucinich: I have sat on many chairs in America, some on UFOs!

    Bloomberg: The New York City budget is short again so the police must
    write tickets for anyone found sitting on a chair in public so we can make up the deficit.

    Paul: Not only should we bring all our soldiers back from everywhere overseas, but the chairs they sat on, too!

    Hillary: The chair system is broken. 43 million Americans have no chair to sit in. Under my Universal Chair Program, every single American will have a chair to sit in, provided free by the government, a Constitutional right which has been denied Americans by the Bush administration.

  7. Twosret
    January 15, 2008 at 2:26 am

    Oh Lord! A former US Air Force navigator/weapon systems officer on F-4E Phantom fighters is on an ego ride. He must miss flying those toys and letting it out on blogs 🙂

    Easy does it Tom Cruise! I can’t stop laughing at as American as it gets hehehee you must be Indian American then 🙂

  8. Twosret
    January 15, 2008 at 2:33 am


    As we say in Egypt “ham yedahak we ham yebaky” the political situation in the US is becoming laughable and sometimes makes you depressed and not wanting to do anything to do with it.

  9. Jen
    January 15, 2008 at 6:40 pm

    Come on, Twosret! To many Americans (and “shame on them”), it was certainly Chellebelle who was on the ego ride, not Tantor.

    I’m also “as American as it gets”. What’s there to laugh at? Aren’t you?

  10. ito
    January 20, 2008 at 12:04 am

    I prefer a barstool. It rotates to give you the best point of view and if you drink too much it let’s you know that by not stopping your ungraceful descent with the help of a back or arm rests. On the other hand it does hang out close to a bar to pass out on. It makes no sense ( :

    Funny post. It just is.


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