Got this in the mail

According to reliable sources, the Iranian government has ordered one of its battleships to patrol in the  Mediterranean Sea and in the national waters of Lebanon in an  act perceived as deterrent to the Americans. The Iranian Defense Administration ordered this battleship to remain in close proximity to USS Cole to ensure that the Lebanese allies will feel secure and relieved that the  American influence will not prevail.
The battleship is named IRN Shkor.

The official confirmed to us that the Lebanese will now have "Cole W Shkor" available after every meal.

Bon Appetit!

0 comment on Got this in the mail

  1. leo
    March 12, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Heard that joke somewhere already.

    I was explained that “Cole W Shkor” has something to do with pastries.

    On serious note, I wonder if this Iranian ship (if it is coming) has permission to enter Lebanese waters. I mean Lebanese government permission, HA’s.

    Reply
  2. leo
    March 12, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Sorry. “not HA’s”

    Reply
  3. charlie316
    March 12, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Sorry to be picky, but there is no chance of the Iranians having a Battleship. It is a particular class of warship (12000 tons, 14 inch guns etc), long since retired by every navy in the world. The USN had the last ones that they used in Gulf war 1 and most are razor blades or floating museums.

    Without looking it up in Janes I would be amazed if the Iranians had anything more impressive than a knackered old frigate dating back to the Shah’s time. I doubt the USN is quaking in its boots

    Reply
  4. Craig
    March 13, 2008 at 12:21 am

    The largest ship the Iranian Navy has is a destroyer, Charlie. They have a few old amphibious landing ships as well. That’s pretty much the whole Iranian surface fleet. A few dozen destroyers and LSDs, and a mixed bag of patrol boats. I’m not even sure they have anything seaworthy enough to make it to the Mediterranean, but even if they did it wouldn’t pose much of a threat to anybody :)

    Reply
  5. charlie316
    March 13, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    Craig – it comes back to me a bit now. Didn’t they have a load of modern warships (frigates/destroyers) on order before the demise of the Shah and the USN took them over. I seem to recall that they gave them names that were in a different range to the usual names for the equivalent class of ship. Or have I been reading too much Tom Clancy?

    Reply
  6. Shalom
    March 13, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Ya know what’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this?

    Back around 1976 or so, there was a British comedian named John Bird, or Byrd, who released an album called “Idi Amin’s Collected Broadcasts”, in which he impersonates the then-president of Uganda. The first track was called “Gunboat Dipperlomacy”, in which “Amin” discusses how he’s planning to get involved in worldwide naval affairs. “…Only problem is, Uganda don’t got no sea. So unless we take it across Tanzania on de bus, we got no way to get de Navy into de Indian Ocean…” This LP nearly touched off a war between Uganda and the UK, I’m told. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Collected_Broadcasts_of_Idi_Amin

    “…And now, here de weather forecast for Kampala and surroundings, twelve o’clock, Greenwich Meaning Time.” (pause) “Dey been up on de Air Ministry roof an’ it pissing down wit’ rain. And dat de end of de weather forecast…”

    Reply
  7. Craig
    March 13, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Charlie, that seems to be true:

    In the 1970s, Iran planned to extend its naval reach into the Indian Ocean; but this goal was curtailed by the Islamic Revolution (1979), the Iran–Iraq War (1980–1988), and limited funding ever since. This has left the navy with a limited ability to project power from the Persian Gulf into the Arabian Sea (Oman Sea) through submarines and larger surface ships. The last Shah of Iran ordered four modern destroyers from the United States, an order that was cancelled after the Shah fell. The ships were instead commissioned in the U.S. Navy as the Kidd class.

    I noticed while reading that link that most of Iran’s “destroyers” are technically considered frigates (smaller).

    Reply

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