The Beirut Media dance

So we are finally there. Finally, after 3 years of pussyfooting, it's here. Oh boy, where do I begin?

Well, now that the gloves are off, we have become aware of 3 very important facts:

1) Hezbollah has lost its mind and decided to turn their weapons against the lebanese population.

2) Amal and the SSNP have vicious militias that are doing the work that Hezbollah doesn't want to be associated with.

3) The Sunni militia is a bunch of pansies, and Saad Al Harriri could never be his father.

I have been following the sataelite channels for the past 3 days, glued to my TV, watching what's going on with serious disbelief. I never thought that the Sunni neighborhoods would fall this quickly, nor that Hezbollah would control Beirut this easily. But here we are, and it all seems so…deliberate. Like M14 wanted this to happen. Like they wanted Hezbollah exposed. Their refusal to engage with the opposition fighters is making the latter look-and rightfully so- like thugs. Not to mention they are, once and for all, exposing to whom their allegiance falls: Our dear old friend Bisho!

Oh, and btw, Images of the Hezbollah occupation of Beirut is here!

The Satalite coverage of what's going is fantastic, depending on who you believe. Here is the rundown:

AlJazeerah: Anti-M14 coverage as usual. They are hosting way too many people who keep denying what we are seeing on TV. My Favorite was the SSNP guy denying that its his militia running around with guns and responsible for burning down the Almustaqbal TV station building, but nevertheless emphasized that those acts won't stop until, well, the M14 people bow down, lick the boots of the opposition and pledge to be their bitch at all times. Oh, and the footage of the Prince of Qatar and Bisho agreeing that what's happening in Lebanon is "an internal matter". Awwww, you guys. It's so cute when u r so obviously sticking it to the Saudis. So so cute!

AlArabiyah: The Saudis are FREAKING OUT. But before we get to them, can we please salute whomever put Rima Maktabi as their anchorwoman? She is so very very hot, and the pics I found of her online do not do her justice. She could read a food menu and I would still listen. HOT!! ANYWAY, so yeah, Saudis, freaking out, calling it the Hezbollah Coup and are complaining about how they were attacked and their tapes were destroyed. But the one thing that keeps annoying me is their tendencies to get saudis to comment on what's going on in Lebanon. And saudis in the gelbab and kefayah and everything. People u never heard of them before, and they have the title of "Mohamed whatever, political analyst". Who the fuck is that guy? Did Lebanon run out of political analysts al of a sudden, that u have to get a saudi guy? Dude, every lebanese is a political analyst. Stop being assholes and hire those guys. They need the work and could definitely use the money.

Press TV: The Iranian english news channel is awesome. They get this lebanese guy, this editor of a newspaper called "Al Intiqad"  ( which means 'the criticism', I wonder what's it all about!) who is squarely against the current government, and then have the token M14 guy talk for 6 seconds before cutting him off. They also like to bait the M14 guys and then cut them off the moment they get what they want. They once asked this M14 guy what are the external factors and forces that play in Lebanon, so he naturally started to mention Israel and the war first, and before he could say Syria, the moderator thanked him and went to the Intiqad guy and was like "So, with Israel next door Hezbollah has the right to have its weapons, no?", and then gave the Intiqad guy 10 minutes to respond. It was beautiful.

AlManar: OH MY GOD. I am in LOVEEEEEEEEEEE. This  channel is great. Ignore the reporting for a second, and watch the Propaganda segments. It's almost rude in the way it's direct. I also love the segments where they show that the vacated offices of the FPM had "weapons", never mind they are showing 2 handguns and an AK47, which is like the standard amount of guns inside any self-respecting Durzi guy's car and doesn't exactly constitute "an armed office of a militia". It's all bullshit, but that's the beauty of Hezbollah: they don't care that they are full of shit. They know they have a population that will eat it up regardless. Also, they have fantastic graphic work, reminds me of egyptian TV in the 80's. I mean come on guys, we know u r backwards and stupid, but surely you can do much better in the media production value department, no?

LBC: They were playing game shows. Seriously. And today, they had morning Aerobics.

"Egypt will not stand by as Iran takes over Beirut!"

Anonymous Source from the Egyptian Ministery of foreign affairs

"If Beirut falls, Riyadh falls, and Cairo falls"

Some Egyptian expert/analyst/whatever on AlArabiyah TV

Feel free to laugh.  Seriously. I am laughing my ass off. Oh yeah, Mubarak won't allow Iran to take over Beirut. Ok, was that the same way he didn't allow Iran to take over Iraq via Muqtada al Sadr, or the way Iran took over Gaza Via Hamas? And what are you gonna do tough guy? Send the army? Ha! You mean the one the people of Egypt begged you to send to fight the Israelis? So You are sending it now to fight those who fought the Israelis? Yeah, that will look good.

Dear Lebanese readers, don't count on arab countries for anything. Especially ours. Trust me, we are useless. And as for those of you who have been asking that Egypt does send troops, well, I do not recommend this at all. Mubarak is in charge people, and this guy never leaves a hole the moment his dick gets in it. Not recommended. Trust me on that one! 

Nasrallah says that the phone network is "the most important weapon for the resistance" , and here I thought it was all about stealing revenue from the government. 

Iran is blaming… you guessed it…Israel and the US! Hey, at least they are consistent!

Obama opened his mouth on the Lebanon situation yesterday and proved himself to be a jasckass. Here is what he said, plus the commentary of Abu Kais:

Hezbollah's power grab in Beirut has once more plunged
that city into violence and chaos. This effort to undermine Lebanon's
elected government needs to stop, and all those who have influence with
Hezbollah must press them to stand down immediately. It's time
to engage in diplomatic efforts to help build a new Lebanese consensus
that focuses on electoral reform, an end to the current corrupt
patronage system, and the development of the economy that provides for
a fair distribution of services, opportunities and employment.

We must support the implementation of UN Security Council Resolutions
that reinforce Lebanon's sovereignty, especially resolution 1701
banning the provision of arms to Hezbollah, which is violated by Iran
and Syria. As we push for this national consensus, we
should continue to support the democratically elected government of
Prime Minister Siniora, strengthen the Lebanese army, and insist on the
disarming of Hezbollah before it drags Lebanon into another unnecessary
war. As we do this, it is vital that the United States continues to
work with the international community and the private sector to rebuild
Lebanon and get its economy back on its feet.

Oh the
time we wasted by fighting Hizbullah all those years with rockets,
invasions of their homes and shutting down their media outlets. If only
we had engaged them and their masters in diplomacy, instead of just
sitting with them around discussion tables, welcoming them into our
parliament, and letting them veto cabinet decisions. If only Obama had
shared his wisdom with us before, back when he was rallying with some
of our former friends at pro-Palestinian rallies in Chicago. How stupid
we were when, instead of developing national consensus with them, we organized media campaigns against Israel on behalf of the impoverished people who voted for them.

During that time when we bought into the cause against Israel,
treating resistance fighters like our brothers, we really should have
been building consensus with them. Because what we did back
in 1982, 1993, 1996, 2000 and 2006 – all that was plain betrayal and
unnecessary antagonism, a product of a corrupt patronage system and unfair distribution of wealth.

We stand today regretting the wasted time that could have been wisely spent talking to them, to the Syrian occupiers who brought them into our system, and the Iranian revolutionary guards who trained them.

Yes, this is change we believe in. Get me a time machine.

As for Jeha, he hits it on the nail as usual:

Could someone tell that neophyte that he is not yet President of the United States? He will have plenty of chances to “engage” with Syria at our expense, when or if he becomes "President of these 57 states". We may be down, but we're not out yet

Just spare us the hypocrisy for now

 Signed: A bitter Lebanese, still clinging to religion and guns

Even the Blacksmiths of Lebanon agree . It's kind of funny, but not a single M14 supporter I know is an Obamaniac. Hmmm… I wonder why!

Anyway, a new day is starting, and the latest I've heard is that the Druze militias have just killed like 7 Hezbollah guys when they tried venturing into their neighborhood. Hezbollah may have stretched his muscles over the sunnis, but he can't do it to the christians and the druze as well. Plus, they have now angred all the sunni forces in the region. Don't be surprised if assassinations of Shias start by groups claiming to be "AlQaida" in Lebanon. Hezbollah are warrioris, and if they are not fighting Israel they need to be fighting somebody, and their sociopathic behavior is now apparent to everybody. They may have taken over some parts of Beirut, but they have lost both their legitimacy and image. They are now fair game, and they surely don't lack enemies.

We are heading towards some really interesting days! 


  1. Fact: any armed forces that does not follow civilian leadership elected by the people are a bunch of outlaws running their own agenda.

    Its like a time bomb waiting to explode. But of course we didn’t notice that back in the 90s as we we were busy feeling sorry for “the poor militants” as they pimp out their screaming women and children on T.V, inspiring thousands if not millions of Arab youth to believe into their resistance bullshit.
    last time i checked it was hezbollah’s attacks on Israel the cause for the last Israeli air strike on Beirut. and Nasrallah went on T.V saying if we knew that Israel would bomb us we wouldn’t have started the fight.

    If Hezbollah’s main goal was to “only” get the Israelis out, then they would have engaged the whole Lebanese people into their sacred mission by following Lebanon’s government. but then it wouldn’t be sacred Gihadi work any more now would it? It would be like a country fighting for its own liberation. besides how would that help their Iranian masters spread their influence?

  2. From what I gather friends around the Arab world, some believe that the Arab countries will largely turn a blind eye towards any Israeli assaults on Hezbollah in this situation, as they did when Israel blew up Syria’s alleged nuclear facility. Israel might have done it to help themselves, but apparently it did a favor for the Arab world as well and I don’t think an assault on Hezbollah would be any different! So I doubt the Arab countries will get involved, they will just stand back and let Israel do the dirty work instead of being seen as supporting them in a any way.

  3. the egyptian commentator is Usama Sraya, the buffoon chief of staff of al-ahram meticulous official press

    really i can’t remeber having such a good laugh a long time, egyptian commentators been particularly hillarious

  4. That’s a good summary SM, but I’d like to add a few points.

    There isn’t much of a Sunni militia, the people who have fought Hezbollah fighters are mainly hot-blooded youngsters who were trying to defend their neighbourhoods. It’s a different thing for the Druzes who have good fighters in their strongholds but have virtually no presence in Beirut. Hezbollah’s fighters got their butt kicked off when they tried entering Aley (a druze stronghold in the mountains above Beirut).

    Also, don’t fall for the lame this good cop / bad cop tactic employed by Hezbollah and Amal. While Amal fighters are more thuggish, Hezbollah has had its fair share of violence against civilians.

    Nasrallah is in a political deadlock. He doesn’t want to occupy west Beirut – he of all people know how quickly this city can become a trap to an occupying ofrce. Hezbollah is designed to fight an assymetric war against a conventional enemy, on prepared terrain. They are now fighting a war on unfriendly terrains. Ironically, it is Hezbollah which is the conventional force on the ground now (the Israelis are having a good laugh). Nasrallah was hoping that the government would step down and that he could hand out the city to a friendly army, but it looks like the government is here to stay. Discounting a Syrian reinvasion, the Sayyed is running out of options.

  5. I read this. I read it again. Welcome back Sam. Please keep that fire in your belly bright and hot.

  6. Sometimes I wonder if problems in the ME could be solved with air conditioning. The israeli’s used to fight with everybody they could until they started to prosper and everybody had AC. Now they at least pretend to be interested in long term peace.

    The sunnis and christians in lebanon are interested in things other than war, but the poor shites with no AC just want to fight with everyone.

  7. “Sometimes I wonder if problems in the ME could be solved with air conditioning.”

    I think you may have something there!!! LOL

  8. no the shias will fight till that corrupted government falls

  9. Anon 1:50 says:

    Really appreciate the insight on the unfolding disaster in Lebanon.

    How a great and beautiful country could find itself so overrun with destructive forces is a tragedy, and one that is not going to go away quietly…

    Also: Rima Maktabi is a babe! Whoooooooo!

    Can anyone tell me why the blouse she’d wearing in this photo is obviously (badly) PhotoShopped on?

  10. I forgot to add that I don’t support the HBZ and his holy representant, but if the Shias had been better considered by the other religious factions in Lebanon and not being taken as parias, and had had a fair representation in the political assemblees, may-be Nasrallah would had never get such a dimension

  11. “no the shias will fight till that corrupted government falls”

    Only to replace it with a religious militia. Fantastic. If failure is the status quo, more of the same retarded bullshit will not solve the problem. If you cannot get anything right and fuck everything up all the time it does not matter who you blame. You are still the loser even if you really, really hate the jews.

  12. there isn’t democraty in Lebanon, the Signoria’s government is also a puppet’s power that is artificially held above water with our financial and military assistance

    we should get out of Lebananon, I think that we are making things worst there, HBZ would never have got such a dimension if, we, as foreigners, weren’t occupying the place ; HBZ was born in the early eighties, aimed to get rid of ia foreign occupation (the Israeli) in south Lebanon ; we ought to leave them to regulate their population inequality representation themselves

  13. I am sick and tired of one thing here. Lebanese media blamming their current situation on Egypt and Saudi. The Lebanese people need to unit and work on their internal problems before they blame Egypt, Saudi, or Obama for that matter.

  14. Like M14 wanted this to happen. Like they wanted Hezbollah exposed. Their refusal to engage with the opposition fighters is making the latter look-and rightfully so- like thugs.

    Yup. As AK pointed out, Jumblatt declared half a year ago that if Hezb wanted to take over Beirut M14 wouldn’t resist them.

    the beauty of Hezbollah: they don’t care that they are full of shit.

    Today’s shit will be tomorrow’s truth, given control of education and propaganda. That’s how it worked for the Palestinians, yes?

  15. I am already looking forward to watching people shift the blame for this stupidity. Things will blow up in their faces, like always, and then the people who supported Hez. will try to pretend they did not cause the problem to begin with and were totally suprised by the behaviour of their little religious militia. Then it will be time for lots of talking and chest thumping followed by embracing another stupid little militia and doing a bunch of stupid shit.

    Arabs crack me up. You could be the craziest loser on earth and do anything you wanted to the citizens if you claimed you were doing it to hurt the Jews. Even if you were executing and torturing them, the majority would go along with it if they thought it might be bad for israel someday. Then, when the crazy loser screws everything up, everyone has someone to blame even though it was their own damn fault that the crazy leader/religious militia gained power to begin with.

    What does the word “plan” translate into in Arabic? Maybe it could be linked up with, make a _____ for the future instead of just handing power over to the idiot with the most guns and anti-israeli/american rhetoric. Or maybe, we should make a _____ for the future so we are not a third world country with pointless clan/sect warfare that accomplishes nothing. That is not what you get though is it? Instead you get this:

    “Of course I am going to vote for them…he is not actually named Hitler, he just calls himself Hitler. What could go wrong?”

  16. Ummm.. question. This whole shindig started over Hizbollah’s Telecom network, right? I’ve read stuff about fiber optic networks and such, as one who has worked in that industry I know that you can’t just buy this sort of thing at radio shack. It takes millions of dollars and several years of highly skilled labor to install such infrastructure, I don’t know about Europe and the Middle East, but the US has only 3 major suppliers (NorTel, Cisco, and Lucent… multinationals who make lots of money in the US, and abroad) so my question is this…

    Who exactly sold Hizbollah this equipment? And who installed it..?

    Because I’m pretty sure Hizbollah is spending Iranian money, and I’m pretty sure it is illegal (as far as US law and the UN, for what it’s worth, has to say…)

    So I’m wondering whose stock should be in the shitter tomorrow… any ideas?

  17. franchie says:

    might be Russia, when I get lebanese visitors, their IP is often located on a russian net provider

  18. Sorry to be stupid, but what does M14 stand for? I thought it was a rifle.

  19. JFP: M14 = the Lebanese government, a.k.a. The March 14 Alliance, which is a coalition of anti-Syrian parties that formed a government after the Cedar Revolution (March 14, 2005).

  20. Thank you, Lisa

  21. Not that this entire business in unexpected. Hezbollah got plenty of support when it was lobbing rockets at the Isrealies. The monster just turned on those who nourished it.

  22. anonymous says:

    Enjoyed this post…

  23. “It’s kind of funny, but not a single M14 supporter I know is an Obamaniac. Hmmm… I wonder why!”
    Perhaps because you hang out with the, ehemmm, extreme and noisy faction of M14? There are Pro-Obama meetings in Beirut, with expats and locals alike..

  24. Hezbollah has lost its mind and decided to turn their weapons against the lebanese population.

    LOL : you were already opposed to Hizbullah even when they were fighting the zionists. LOL

  25. After all these years, how do you keep doing it is beyond my comprehension, ya monkey boy! I’m officially impressed and I’m not that easily impressed…. wow! a blue car!

  26. When will the simple minded masses in the ME learn facts from fictions:
    a) Hizboallah, Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas,..they are all created by their defined enemies (that being, Zionists, British,..) to apply the concept of “divide and conquer” and keep people in the region ignorant and underdeveloped. In a sense while everything is quite with the declared outside enemy (their creator entity) they keep busy fighting within (e.g. Christians, Suni, PLO..etc) and from time to time they play the game with the ouside declared enemy (like volleyball) to raise the ball high enough so the enemy can smash it back. !!!

  27. What does the word “plan” translate into in Arabic? Maybe it could be linked up with, make a _____ for the future instead of just handing power over to the idiot with the most guns and anti-israeli/american rhetoric.
    bleh you may be right.
    On the other hand, Hezb is getting some of its marching orders from Iran and Iranians are not arabs.
    Hezb is also getting money from municipality of Tehran – 3 mln dollars. It was supposed to be kept secret, but a newspaper guy got wind of it and published the deed. Judging from amount of protests – Tehranis do not like it AT ALL. ;-)

  28. “There are Pro-Obama meetings in Beirut, with expats and locals alike..”

    Why are you having Obama meetings in Beirut?

  29. #31, because Hezbullshit and Hamas are voting for Nobama! Ask an terrorist who they want for President of the US and the answer will be Barack Hussein Obama. Not John McCain who will kick their ass.

  30. Mike Nargiziain says:

    franchie Says:
    May 11th, 2008 at 12:44 am
    I forgot to add that I don’t support the HBZ and his holy representant, but if the Shias had been better considered by the other religious factions in Lebanon and not being taken as parias, and had had a fair representation in the political assemblees, may-be Nasrallah would had never get such a dimension

    The Shia are poor and un-educated. As Mr. Obama said about poor white people in rural US is 10000x more apt to poor uneducated Shias… he was really talking about them, ironically and then he reads a talking point memo right from a Syrian apologists mouth…
    a) Hezbollah is a militia and needs to fight someone… they’re not interested in democracy that’s just their cover.
    b) Is southern lebanon a democracy or is it Hezbollahstan? so why would you state that the Shia down there are interested in a “”"”"real democracy”"” as if there is a fucking “”"”"real”"”"” Arab Democracy in the Middle East?
    c) The “”"zionists”"”" can sit back and watch as the Lebanese get a little dose of the monster being fed in their south among their midst… the one which is supposedly fighting for what again??? that pile of shit rocks Sheba Farms?? LOL!!
    d)Isn’t it so fucking ironic the Arab League the joke that it is… will pass any/every resolution any time of the day against the “”"zionists”"” but while Hezbollah but fucks the Saudi and Sunni world they sit back in their crevces… all the bravado’s gone… they know Iran, Assad and his henchmen, and Hezbollah won’t have any compunction about avoiding civilians if they fight them.

    Anon says:
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
    Hezbollah has lost its mind and decided to turn their weapons against the Lebanese population.
    LOL : you were already opposed to Hizbullah even when they were fighting the zionists. LOL

    yeah they were fighting those zionists lol… for that huge piece of land Sheba Farms… allahu akhbar!!
    They ain’t lost their mind… they been building a powerful well trained militia and sabering their ratttle for years now… they knew they could and they DID! and no Arab state is gonna do a FUCKING thing bout it….


  31. Mike Nargiziain says:

    All Israel has to do is stay out of the Arab world as much as possible so that it can destroy itself…
    Lebanon is only the tip of the fucking iceberg!


  32. Yaahh. Mohamed and Magdee? Just like old times.

  33. CarpetCaptain says:

    I can’t get over how completely spineless the lebanese army is. I’ve seen the reports on CNN, BBC, CBC and all you see is a bunch of pretty boys standing around with machine guns hoping to film a videoclip. Seniora needs to go borrow some cash from Harriri junior and go buy himself some balls. Hezboallah needs toget disarmed period end of story. These shiite armed psycho rabi militias whether in lebanon or iraq eed to get exterminated if either of them wants to have anything that resembles a country.

    Rima Maktabi is yummylicious

  34. Nice article, we should see more of this soon.