For the retarded amongst you

I have tolerated the existence of the Scene and Heard blog for a while now, mainly because I think that the crowd they target don't really read or are big Paulo Coelho fans (same thing), so for them to read anything, well, that's just a positive thing. They are the same people I hated hanging out with right after I came back, whose topic of conversations range from who got photographed in what magazine, who married/left/cheated on/sleeps with who and debating the color yellow. Riveting shit, I tell ya. I kept my distance but didn't really hate them, because that's like hating a retard for making stupid decisions.I mean, they are fans of Amy Mowafi for god's sake, so they can't really be blamed for their choices in life. They simply don't know any better.

However, they did join my shit list when they actually lead to the spawning of other egyptian gossip blogs, mainly two that got sent to me today and immediately made my blood boil. The first one targets AUC students, and it's called "Gossip Girl in AUC". Yes,after the CW show targeting 12 year old girls. Seriously. They even do the whole "XOXO" shit at the end. I keep trying to think of ways to insult them, but, why bother? I would be wasting brain cells. There is an actual post about how the writer heard someone say "that's huge? how did you manage that?" and the really funny punchline is, they were talking about a bubble gum. No, for real. Can you believe it? It's Crazzzyyyyyy!!!!!!

And then for those of you who go to the second rate GUC, well, they have one for you as well, and it's called GUC Insider. Now, I am actually quite impressed by that one, because it managed to suck more than the Gossip Girl one (oh gossip girl, I said suck, imagine? That's soo funny. Giggle and blush), which I think is quite the achievement. And the sad thing is, the writer of that one quit, not because he found out that he is a lame writer, but because the GUC people got mad at him. For real. They actually got offended and thought he should discontinue. Thank you GUCians. You are not as lame as everyone says you are.

So yes, S&H, I blame YOU for this. This shit didn't happen until you people came along with your fantastic posts about nothing and people only you know and care about. I get that you attacked those other gossip blogs yourself, but that's not enough. You people have to repent or something for the shit you unleashed on the unsuspecting population. Think of the innocent bystanders. Some people who actually have a brain might stumble upon your website one day without being warned about its nature beforehand -unlike me- and end up getting a brain aneurysm from the your self-congratulating masturbatory so called writing. So please, stop, before anyone gets hurt. Think of the Children who will read this shit and actually think that being a socialite is, like, important. Because it's not. No one cares. And if you truly live in Cairo and know the intrusive nature of its people, then you would know that most people would love to go anywhere without being seen or heard by 10 people that know them. But then again I am talking about people with no insecurities and who don't give a fuck about whatever spring-fling- fuck-me-I-am-famous shit party your faggy metrosexual friends throw and invite you to next. So you might not relate. Nevermind.  

0 comment on For the retarded amongst you

  1. Candace
    June 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    hehe. I love you.

    But i’m not going to lie, the guccis at AUC are kind of … enthralling.

  2. Jalousy
    June 4, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Yellow is my favourite colour.

  3. anonymous
    June 4, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    no real clue what this post is about besides being about gossipy egyptian blogs i didn’t know existed and have no intention of frequenting…i didn’t even click on the links cuz i’m not interested

    frankly i like ur political posts better…but hey u sounded like u needed 2 vent or something…hope u feel better

  4. Mo the #1st
    June 4, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    I take it you didnt make the most popular list eh Mr. disgruntled?

    oh poor Monkey Zamalek Cilantro roof Top bar boy, ya Haram


    I want a Zionist bitch from CHICAGO live’n in Boston’s shoulder to cry on.

    Dont cry, we love you sandmonkey

  5. Sherif
    June 5, 2008 at 2:44 am

    Come on man thats just plain rude, 3eeb awy.. the leasst you could do is have some respect for what he does even if you dont agree with anything he says …

    I dont agree with most of what he says, frankly i think he gets it wrong on many issues especially when it comes to egyptian culture and society and obviouly politics… But i have to admit that i dont have the courage to do what he does, and i dont even live in egypt…

  6. Mo the #1st
    June 5, 2008 at 6:54 am

    Sherif is a figment of the “NOW COMMENTING ON HOS POWN COMMENT SECTIONS’ ” imagination.

    Sandmonkey is sock puppeteering and trolling!


    PEDOPHILE….WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT GUC and AUC, you are a mature adult, not in school anymore, you are a grown man now supposedly, supposedly with a masters degree, what the Fuck are you doing talking about adolescent kids in schools. IS THAT YOUR CIRCLE, NO.

    SO therefore you are a Pedophile are seriously under developed socially and living a dream of the past

  7. MaGdee
    June 5, 2008 at 7:06 am

    It’s a hilarious post 😀 but come on Sam, live and let live… I’m pretty sure you had similar lifestyle not so long ago. At some point in our lives we were like those social leeches… shuffling through parties on a single day from dusk till dawn… from Saqqara to Upstairs (remember it). We were the faggy metrosexual types who never minded socializing with the airheads and hearing the girls gossips as long as its accompanied with booze and guranteed second base … but then we aged beautifully and opted for seclusion 😀 Anyway, I’m 30 now (i’m guessing you’re almost there too) so I look back on those days and sigh!

  8. MaGdee
    June 5, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Mo you are in a desperate need of a life and a brain, you are only a crawling donkey testicles that’s about to explode… save yourself right now!

  9. Ibrahim
    June 5, 2008 at 8:11 am

    live and let live doesn’t apply here !! if these people want to talk about bullox than they should do it somewhere else where bullox is appreciated..their backyard maybe..or @ cilantro while sipping on their mocha frappe @#$#@ !!

    and what’s that about talking a break for the summer (gossip break ??) it’s not like we need more yada yada persons in the fkin society !!!

  10. Iman
    June 5, 2008 at 8:11 am

    hahahaha yes i came through the auc gossip ggirl site before lol
    Theyre completely out of thier mind and the thing is the girl who writes doesnt even go to AUC loool

  11. Ibrahim
    June 5, 2008 at 8:18 am

    lol @ the best couple !! next is best hair, best fuck, dumbest blond….i love internet !!

  12. Ibrahim
    June 5, 2008 at 8:20 am

    oh !! and who has more coloured strands in their hair !! this is getting silly !!

  13. antares
    June 5, 2008 at 8:53 am


    “I think that the crowd they target don’t really read or are big Paulo Coelho fans (same thing), ”

    LOL. Really. Got me busted at work.

    I read Paulo Coelho years ago in Portuguese. My Brazilian friends recommended him and — after I read one of his books — asked, “Isn’t he great? (sigh)” Yeah, the sigh was audible. I smiled and they assumed I agreed.

    I thought his writing was ill-developed.

    Last year a Polish woman lent me another Coelho book in English. Asked me what I thought. This time I pointed out the flaws in his writing. She has not spoken to me since.

    This was a great comment. Thanks, Sandy.

    Illegitimi non carborundum.

  14. Julia
    June 6, 2008 at 1:47 am

    I spent 4 months studying at AUC and I will tell you I DIED laughing at this post….the sad thing is…..the Gossip Girl fits it PERFECTLY. At least half of the students there ARE like the show and don’t give two shits about their studies because Daddy is going to pay their way through life no matter what f*cked up crap they get into. Its sad that nausiating New York society spans the globe. I lived in it there and I’m once again amidst it here working in Manhattan. THANK YOU for saying something. The funny thing is….they can gossip all they want, their petty bull won’t matter in the long run….its not like they’re going to make any real difference in the world with attitudes like that.

  15. HJacobs
    June 6, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Can someone explain to me why you think it’s okay to use the word retarded as slang?
    Please don’t say that you aren’t saying it directly to someone’s face who has special needs. Using it the way you did, I believe, is worse.
    Maybe you don’t think about the pain it causes when the word is used. Now you know.

  16. Scene & Heard
    June 7, 2008 at 9:48 am

    Hahaha…we don’t know who you are or that you existed but came accross your link due to the traffic you created for us..

    We loved what you had to say about us, because yes we can laugh at ourselves…and no we don’t take ourselves too seriously…becasue at the end of the day we want to be a utility that keeps everyone up to date will all the information needed and we’ve stated over agian that this is a business venture not bored people with no lives…

    we don’t kow how old you are…but if you skim through all our topics you will see that we have topics ranging from business ventures, to economy..and the “oh so hated social lives” of people…we could never understand why people like you hated on others with social lives, because we don’t make fun of you and your choice of outings but…to each and his own…we stay away from politics for obvious reasons…

    and by the way we do read..more than you can imagine…and Paulo Coelho..and his book The Zahir…like the flowing river…the alchemist…should we list what else we’ve read…and our liking of Amy Mowafi is out of being proud that someone in Egypt can intrigue and change the Image of the Arab world for all those westerners who do not understand us…

    And god Forbid may i add that you be considered a Socialite 😉

  17. suzie-q
    June 7, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    lol..I wuv you!

  18. aks
    June 7, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Scene and Heard People: Switch your spell-check on or get someone to proof read before publishing for heaven’s sake. Your sentences don’t make sense!

  19. s&H fan
    June 7, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    your being unable to read their scentences has nothing to do with their lack of spelling…

    and if thats the best come back you can form…picking on spelling you have bigger things to worry about!

    Mr. Sandmonkee S&H made you an offer if you would like to enlighten their world of “shallowness” how about you inform them with your opinion…their open to anything and everything!

  20. Sand Monkey Raped
    June 7, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    AMY MOWAFI…JUST BLEW EVERYONE AWAY WITH THE MOST AMAZING COME BACK TO YOUR DRAFT POST…if you want to talk about proper and etiquette….and a constructive come back…i am left speechless…

    and more appalled by your ignorance sandmonkey…

  21. ito
    June 7, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    Maybe it’ll be a good feud to follow…

  22. Mo'men
    June 8, 2008 at 6:42 am

    “it managed to suck more than the Gossip Girl one (oh gossip girl, I said suck, imagine? That’s soo funny. Giggle and blush)”

    SM, You should consider a job writing for “Family Guy”, I visualized Stewee utter these words.

    June 9, 2008 at 11:59 am

    mwwhahaha Magdee you are toooo funny, what was this?

    “you are only a crawling donkey testicles that’s about to explode… save yourself right now!

    Crawling donkey testicles hahaha what is that?

  24. CarpetCaptain
    June 10, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Monkey you owe me an apology for pointing the SnH blog out to me. I’ve wasted ten minutes of my life that i’ll never get back. I’m all for shallow bimbos with an IQ that equals their age, they make the world go round BUT don’t make me read anyting they write thats cruel and unusual (although i’m sure that doesnt apply in Egypt)

    There’s a certain level of shallowness that the Egyptian nouveau riche bring to the table that no other in the world can match.


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