Regular service will be resumed shortly

Disclaimer: Dear readers, this is simply my response to S&H post about me. If you think the whole thing is stupid, and who could blame you, then please ignore this and await my Obama post, and why him winning might actually be the best thing to happen for the American right. If you wanna read it anyway, be my guest, but don't you dare complain. You've been warned!

Holy Cow!

I didn't know that my post on you would cause such debate in your comments section, even though the word "debate" might be an exaggeration to what's going on here. Either way, Upon finding this, I figured why not respond to what's being said and all? I mean, even Amy Mowafi responded (more on that in a second) so I guess I should put my two cents in as well.

Now, the first thing I've noticed about your post is the parts you edited from mine. And while I can understand you taking away the references to the other two blogs, there is one line you removed from the final paragraph in that post, and I guess you removing it says volumes about you and your intellectual honesty. Here it is:

"No one cares. And if you truly live in Cairo and know the intrusive nature of its people, then you would know that most people would love to go anywhere without being seen or heard by 10 people that know them."

Now, why would you remove that specific sentence dear S&H? Any specific reason? Or is it because you know how true it is, and it just hit too close to home? Oh, I wonder.

Now , that aside, I am glad that you are doing this as a business venture, and not because you lead some empty existence where your only entertainment is the lives of others. Although, I am not really sure how this Business model operates exactly. Do people actually pay you to write stuff about them? If that's the case, how "hot" and "happenin" could they be? Does that mean that everything you post about is paid advertisement? Does that include your opinions as well? I am just asking because I have encountered a poor soul whose main beef with you was that you never mentioned her, and maybe if you guys are for sale, she could buy your love or attention, or something. But then again, what kind of socialite gets bought? What kind of Socialite needs money?

As for your questions, emm, let's see. Age: 27. Interests: Many many many things. Why do I hate people like you with social lives: Ehh..whomever said I was hating on you for your social life? Do you really think I care who you meet or hang out with or totally loathe? And do you really think that where you go is soo exclusive? I've been to every place you go to, I know every single one of your friends and we probably even drank together. But the main difference between you and me is this: I have this strange tendency to actually have fun when I go out. Yes, for real. Wanna know something crazier? If it's not going to be fun, I just don't go out. Yeah, really! That concept, for some reason, is lost on most of you, who go to Jazz club on Wednesdays (Or 35 on Fridays, and let's not forget La Bodega the rest of the freakin week, except Thursday of course, because that's when the bee2ah people go out) because it's the thing to do and "what else are we gonna do? Stay home?". And you go out with the same people as the night before, you discuss the same topics you discussed the time before and you spend lots of money on drinks that don't end up even getting you drunk or buzzed and you go home mabdoneen because your life is so very fuckin boring, and you go to bed counting the days until you head to Hacienda to "have some real parties", with, surprise surprise, the same people you meet in cairo, only this time everyone is showing off the results of the latest plastic surgery they've had. So no, this isn't the rant of some social recluse who is envious of you. There is nothing to envy there.

I am not even gonna address the Paulo Coelho issue. You've done a fine job on that one all by yourself.

Now, allow me to quote one of your posts, to show you why exactly you do piss me off. This is a post you wrote a couple of days ago, and I believe the topic was about "social climbers". Hmm, let's dissect that one for a second, shall we?

"You see them at La Bodega…35…AND Sangria, ALL IN ONE NIGHT!! They are called…THE SOCIAL CLIMBERS."

Color me confused, but isn't it true that in order for you to see them, don't you too have to be there at those 3 places that same night?

Now, what are the other signs of social climbers?

"The one's who say hi to anyone and everyone…"

Oh no, you mean they are being nice to people? How dare they?

"then you'll need to understand that we won't consider you "cool" if we know you been to every hot spot..and hung out till unearthly hours"

Ok, so the S&H rules in order for you not to be categorized as a social climber are: Don't go to three places in one night and be seen there, unless you are a part of the Scene & Heard Clique, because they are exempted from that rule. Don't be nice or say hi to people; sneer at them, growl if possible! And don't stay up late in one place. A good socialite leaves the party while it's happening, not when it's over, because the ones who stay till the end are losers, and they end up being stuck with the check (double losers). Did I get that right?

You know, I come from old money. Not touting that as an achievement or anything. It's simply a fact. My grandfather was the Egyptian royalty, my grandmother is such an old and known "socialite" (back when the term had something to do with charitable work and love for this country), whose donation to charity is now estimated to be worth billions and who actually has a square in Heliopolis named after her. She raised me, and she thought me the difference between old money and the nouveau riche. You know what the difference is? Manners. Old money comes with manners. You are polite to all people, and you never have to make a scene, because you know who you are and where you come from. New money, on the other hand, have inferiority complexes: so they mistreat their maids, they insult the wait-staff, and they act snobbish, haughty and rude to people, and they say shit like "entah 3aref entah betkalem meen?", because they believe (from watching bad TV shows and movies) that this is the way you act if you are from the upper-class. Only a true nouveau riche social climber would care about who they are seen talking to in clubs, who shows there, and how they will look in the eyes of others. Old money doesn't give a crap about that, but they will see fit to remind the nouveau riche of their place if they do cross the line. That's all there is to it.

Now, I don't know which are you, nor do I care that much. But you should know that the attitude you are exporting is that of the nouveau riche, and god forbid you guys get labeled as that. As for anyone who is reading this and actually wishes to be considered a socialite, well, my dear friends, it's really much easier and simpler than they portray it here. You wanna be a socialite? Well, it's really really easy. All you really need are two things: 1) Money, and 2) Time to waste. Because trust me, you will waste a lot of time and money getting in, and you will waste even more the moment you are in. Don't worry, they will let you in their circles, because they are bored of each other more than they would like to admit, even to themselves.

As for Amy, well, my beef with her book is very simple: Being a single woman at her late twenties is not an achievement, nor is her stating that she doesn't care how that makes society views her makes her a rebel and someone who breaks down walls. It's simply the case of society placing retarded rules and norms on girls and women, and the key word here is retarded. Not following retarded rules doesn't make you a rebel; it simply means you are not retarded. Congratulations, here is a cookie. The fact that the majority of other girls in Egypt seem to obey and follow those rules still doesn't make you a rebel; it just means that they are…let's say it together…RETARDED. There you go. Now you get it. There are very good reasons to like or even admire Amy: She is a strong and independent woman who managed to make a name for herself in the world of magazines and writing. Bragging about giving her mom ulcers because she "still hasn't found a good man" isn't one of them, because quite frankly, if your mom, after all that you have achieved, still looks at you as an incomplete object because you haven't found a suitable Penis to marry, well, then maybe she does deserve that ulcer. Not wishing your mother harm or anything Amy, Just saying.

And finally, yeah, god forbid I would be considered a socialite, especially if it means abiding by the set of rules and behavior that are being advocated here. The Socialite scene is filled with people who will swear up and down that the movie "Cruel Intentions" was "like, totally, my highschool" and who seem to think that "Mean girls" was an accurate portrayal of the struggles they face in their social life. Yeah. Not me. It wouldn't necessarily be "haram", mainly because I detest people who even remotely use that term to justify anything, but it would suck being lumped in that group, mainly because of their intellectual level. It really would.

So this is the end of that S&H, and you can make of this what you wish. I am glad that I have given you more traffic, and if that's how you make your money, then please send me my cut. This is, after all, a business venture, no? As for your generous offer to write for you, I would have to respectfully decline. Nothing personal. Just don't have the time to keep up with every little thing the people in your circle of friends do. Best of luck with that!

0 comment on Regular service will be resumed shortly

  1. fan
    June 9, 2008 at 11:21 am

    begad.. bravo…

    i really respect you for what you said.. and i really respect that you covered all topics that were discussed… and fel akher… bravo 3al sarcasm :)))))))

    lovin it ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Munqy
    June 9, 2008 at 11:53 am

    Respect for what you’re trying to tell them but seriously, I wouldn’t even bother. They’ve got their heads so far up their own arses that they’re kissing their own tonsils.

  3. yoursugamama
    June 9, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    You should see how they equally answered him back…and without bein snide and stupid…

    27 my ass ur seriously like 5!

  4. CLEAN
    June 9, 2008 at 1:20 pm




  5. Seneferu
    June 9, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Ok, I didn’t read the whole thing..but the second and third comments on their blog are quite funny.

  6. Sand Monkey Raped
    June 9, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    sand monkey started it..and both s&h and amy mowafi replied AGAIN!

  7. ahmad
    June 9, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    ana mashoftesh ahyaf men keda!!!!, where did you find such a blog, anhi safee7et zebala!!!

  8. Uragan
    June 10, 2008 at 3:24 am

    Sam, you need to chill out, go somewhere for a long holiday, and then change your social circle when you get back.

    June 10, 2008 at 7:34 am

    ahmed needs to chill out hardcore

  10. SLaViN
    June 10, 2008 at 11:55 am

    SM, R-E-S-P-E-C-T big time!!

    @ “Sand Monkey Raped”,
    “sand monkey started it”…. what are u? 12?? I mean seriously, are u like their bitch at that sorry excuse for a blog because u seem fixated on keeping lame updates over here about this topic or “War” (hahaha!!) as your masters back at s&h call it

  11. bob
    June 10, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    This is why FGM shouldn’t be banned…

  12. alexander
    June 10, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    I think you’re all mad.

    …a khawagah…

  13. Rick
    June 10, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    I also come from “old money” although i’ve never really seen it as something to be proud of. If anything, i’m pretty embarassed that my great-grandparents were part of egypt’s “problem” in terms of maldistribution of wealth. I take more pride in the branch of my family that would support the free officers movement, despite having a shitton to lose.

  14. Sand Monkey Raped
    June 10, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    why FGM shouldnt be banned…are u freakin serious u backward peice of shit!

    If thats you trying to be funny i dint even know what to say towards your ignorance..cuz ur sarcasm is a sorry excuse for your male chauvanistic ways (i dnt care if i spelt the word wrong)

    and no aint their bitch..i just find ur fat sorry excuse for a writer lame…sand monkey know who you are and all your its ok!

  15. Patrick
    June 11, 2008 at 1:07 am

    SM, why are you making them out to be the pathetic losers for responding to a post YOU started? You’re the one who randomly brought them up and criticized them. And then when they devoted three paragraphs to you you respond with a four-page rant. I love you but get a life.

  16. bob
    June 11, 2008 at 9:19 am

    Yikes…Bitches going wild. Go back to the kitchen ho…and make me some mahshi.

  17. leaflet
    June 12, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Monkey…you could be such a pain sometimes….and giving something so absurd such volume…says a lot about your intellect…I mean why would you care to write such a long post in response to such a lame page…

    off..back to politics..please…not that i don’t have my reservations on your “insightful outlook”..bas at least thats tolerable..and interesting..


  18. Greg
    June 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    Sam, this is why I miss hanging out with you so much. Nothing is more entertaining than watching you mentally eviscerate someone failed ideology on life.

  19. christina/ohio
    June 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    There is a reason why we love ya! ๐Ÿ™‚ New money makes itself known, old money can walk by and you will never know it. If you feel the need to say “do you know who I am” you are not old money. The wealthiest guy I know wears the holiest sweatpants you’ve ever seen anywhere he wants to because he can and who cares. He says it is a great way to judge service. If they treat you like sh!t you don’t go back.

  20. jack
    June 13, 2008 at 4:57 am

    hey SM, did you read Amy Mowafi’s reply on S&H? I love you and I’ve read you for awhile but I have to say her response was much more measured and mature than yours. Don’t get me wrong, S&H is a completely retarded blog but they hadn’t really done anything to you before you posted about your toleration of their existence. Oh well, Have fun and keep posting!

  21. khaled
    June 13, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Begad SPOT ON!!

    June 14, 2008 at 12:40 am


    Taliban attack helps inmates escape Afghan prison Associated Press

    KANDAHAR, Afghanistan – Taliban militants staged a brazen bomb and rocket attack on the main prison in southern Afghanistan late Friday, blowing down the gate and helping hundreds of suspected insurgents flee, officials said. Many police officers were reported killed.

    The complex attack included a truck bombing at the main gate, a suicide bomber who struck a back wall and rockets fired from outside, setting of a series of explosions that rattled Kandahar, the country’s second biggest city.

    A Taliban spokesman, Qari Yousef Ahmadi, said 30 insurgents on motorbikes and two suicide bombers attacked Sarposa Prison and freed about 400 Taliban members.

    Abdul Qabir, chief of the Sarposa Prison, also said hundreds of prisoners escaped, but did not provide an exact figure. He said some inmates stayed at the jail, which also held criminals.

    Wali Karzai, the brother of President Hamid Karzai who is president of Kandahar’s provincial council, said the prison held about 350 suspected Taliban fighters.

    He said “all” the prisoners escaped, but also had no specific number. “There is no one left,” he said.

  23. tedders
    June 18, 2008 at 3:40 am

    Don’t worry FREE AFGHANISTAN, all the escapee’s will be dead within the week. US Marines and coalition troops kick ass and don’t take names!



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