August 2008 archive

Our Fantastic police at work

I am not even surprised anymore:

An Egyptian police officer held an 18-month-old baby hostage for five
hours in a bid to secure the surrender of the child's fugitive uncle, a
security official said on Friday.

They will open an investigation. They will probably find the baby guilty of forcing the police officer to take him into custody.

Classy gesture or Cynical Ploy?

McCain released the following ad the day of Obama's candidacy at the democratic convention, congratulating him on his achievment for being a black candidate. At first I thought it was nice, and thought that be weird, and then I noticed its subversive nature.

"How perfect that your nomination would come at this historic day." 

And by historic day, he means the 45 year anniversary of MLK's speech, thus highlighting the cynical interesting nature of positioning the nomination on that day. 

But I could be wrong. What do you think? 

Anybody wants to be a daddy?

This is found on Egypt's craigslist, I figured I would share:

Looking for a Husband Immediately – 24 (Cairo, Egypt)

It is a long story but I’ll try to keep it short: back in February I
was raped and now I am 7 months pregnant. I was hoping to find a
Western man (European / American), to marry me immediately, before I
deliver, and take me and my coming son under his wing, in other words
to be an official father of my son.
I am financially capable of supporting my own son, all I want is a loving, warm and secure home for him to grow up in.

I am 24 years old, brunette, petite, 5 feet tall, long black
straight hair and dark brown Arabian eyes, college graduate, I also
speak 3 languages fluently.
My father was Lebanese and my mother is half Spanish half Turkish,
I was born and raised in Cairo, Egypt but with a western, very
open-minded mentality (and that is why I wish to marry a western man).

The man I am looking for has to meet the following requirements:

1) To be currently living in Cairo, Egypt.
2) To accept to start all the marriage procedures instantly (of course after we meet and make sure we like each other)
3) To accept to convert to Islam as the Egyptian law does not
approve of the marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man (you can
still practice your initial religion though, like I said I’m very
open-minded, you don’t have to pray or fast, I personally don’t, all
you have to do is just obtain that piece of paper that says you
4) To be between the age of 30-40
5) To be understanding
6) To have no mental or physical illnesses.

If you are interested please reply as soon as possible. No weird replies please. 

Yes people, No weird replies to this very normal ad please. 

On the beauty requirement of candidates wives

I want you to think about this: There is a theory that states that the wife of any successfull political candidate has to be uglier than him or at the very least in the same realm of attractiveness, because if she is prettier than him, then for some reason women won;t vote for him. This is why John McCain will lose, because his wife is too pretty for him (and a heiress, of a beer empire, that motherfucker lucked out), while Obama will win, because he is a good looking dude and Michelle, well, she looks pretty busted. She looks-as one of my friends so eloquently put it- as if her face was hit by a bus. Women who look like that are the reason why we have dentists.

If you doubt that, think of the last 10 presidential elections, the candidates and their wives, and see who won. And since many of you will bring up Jackie O, please remember that her Husband was John Fuckin Kennedy, and he was scoring major Hollywood trim that was far prettier than her. So yeah, one could argue that he is at the very least equally attractive to her. So the theory holds. Come on, try it. Test it out. I dare you!

Cultural trends: Brazenly gay music

Someone forwarded this to me, and it's a video clip by a gay pop singer called Adam Joseph, for a song he sings called-I kid you not- Faggotty Attention. This is a very interesting song, because it's a song detailing the arguments a gay guy would use to seduce a straight one. Which shows that we are now witnessing a shift in the pop music scene: brazenly gay music has arrived, and it will probably not leave for a long long time. More is sure to come, and some day, on a VH1 special, someone will credit this guy for "starting it all", and you will remember that you heard it here first.

The Sandmonkey enlightens you! 

Egypt protesting European embassies?

Did they just get the memo that we get mistreated there?

Egypt has protested to European embassies in Cairo
about what it has described as the mistreatment of Egyptians applying
for entry visas.

The Egyptian foreign ministry said the embassies were applying
visa rules arbitrarily, and not treating Egyptians with respect and

You know, I would be all for it, but the egyptian government, of all people, complaining that someone is not treating Egyptians with respect and dignity? We 7eyat deen omokom? That's like Bill Clinton scolding John Edwards for lying to the American people.

Ehh..Irony is dead! 

Regarding John Edwards

You know, when he first showed up in the political scene, everybody in the democratic party called him the second coming of Bill Clinton. I guess they never knew how accurate they really were. Boy was I surprised. Mr. My dad worked in a windmill and I have a dead so and a cancer stricken wife is phony baloney. Who knew?

Well, it seems the answer to that question is..weirdly enough..John Kerry:

Kerry talked with several potential picks, including Gephardt and
Edwards. He was comfortable after his conversations with Gephardt, but
even queasier about Edwards after they met. Edwards had told Kerry he
was going to share a story with him that he'd never told anyone
else—that after his son Wade had been killed, he climbed onto the slab
at the funeral home, laid there and hugged his body, and promised that
he'd do all he could to make life better for people, to live up to
Wade's ideals of service. Kerry was stunned, not moved, because, as he
told me later, Edwards had recounted the same exact story to him,
almost in the exact same words, a year or two before—and with the same
preface, that he'd never shared the memory with anyone else. Kerry said
he found it chilling, and he decided he couldn't pick Edwards unless he
met with him again.

This is the man whose wife found out that her cancer was back in march 2007, and father a kid in february 2008. Our boy cheated on his cancer-stricken wife. No wonder he was talking about two Americas, he was sleeping in two bedrooms, one in each America. But before you feel bad for his wife, please take a minute and chill. Don't think she is a victim. Ok, so she has cancer, that makes her a cancer victim, but come on, u get the idea. She knew of the affair in 2006, and still supported his running for office in 2008, knowing full well that if that thing exploded around general election time- and of lookie, it just did- the chances of the Dems winning the presidency would've been close to nill. But she went ahead anyway, aware of the affair, and keeping her mouth shut, defending him, appearing everywhere, using her cancer to guilt people into donating to their campaign and most recently to get herself a speaking gig at the convention- in order to get that coveted female terminal cancer victims whose husbands cheated on them demographic, it's soo important- and a Think Tank job. The woman's ambition and complicity puts Hillary's to shame, and now that Hillary knows that, she is probably glad that Elizabeth has cancer. I mean that kind of brazen immorality combined with manipulating people's emotions and guilt has always been Hillary's shtick, and now comes Edwards wife, whose husband also cheated on her while she is battling cancer and after she lost a son? Hillary can't win against that in 2012. That's some heavy heavy guilt.

Alas, too bad, I always liked Edwards (I like my politicians the way I like my lawyers- scummy, fake, manipulative and pretty. Hallo, I did endorse Obama, people. That should tell you something) and the nice little image of the American dream realized that he and his wife have presented to us so well. No longer will women lament how they never got a man this decent, who is attractive, young-looking and a millionaire, and yet won't cheat on his old fat wife. They once again got their fantasy shattered and will continue to believe that we are all the same. Thanks John, you dick, for ruining even that for us. Now go chase an ambulance, you will need the money, having a new-born baby to raise that you probably hate now and everything. Enjoy.

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