So, about that metal Bikini…

So here I was, scrolling down on my homepage in my effort to take notes to the things I want to change (I am planning a re-design), when I stumbled upon that picture of Princess Leia in that Golden Bikini. Looking at that picture, I found myself wondering: So, why,exactly, was Leia dressed in a metal bikini in that scene? What exactly does it imply? I mean, if it was supposed to signify Leia's new slave status, then the metal neckbrace and chain would've been enough, right? Why would she have to be dressed in that outfit, unless she was more than just an oridinary slave? And then the horrifying possibility hits you: Was Leia Jabba's sex slave? Did he do..ehh..things to her? And then you remembered his tentacles, and images only fitting to be found in Japanese Hentai demon porn suddenly emerge in your mind, and EWWW…

So, I set out on a mission, to try to find any information on said scene and backstory. Yeah, 66,000 websites drooling over Leia in a metal Bikini, and not a single one of them contemplates the reason why she was forced to wear it, and what it meant she had to do during her time in captivity. There were some clues in a website dedicated to Leia's metal Bikini, aptly called www.Leiasmetalbikini.com, fully dedicated to everything related to the infamous Metal Bikini and women who like to wear it and pose it (Holy shit there are many, and they are hot, too). The clues were in the introduction page. One from the Paragraph of the novelization of the Return of the Jedi, which said:

   "(Jabba) tugged, with his swollen fingers, on the chain attached to Princess Leia's neck.  The more resistance he met with, the more he drooled – until he'd drawn the struggling, scantily-clad princess close to him once more."

Which brings up the question of- if Leia's slavery had no sexual connetation, why would our boy Jabba drool whenever he got to show his power over our Princess? And it seems that I am not the only one who thought their relationships was more than just slave and master, because (and here comes the second clue), the people who run the website also wrote this:

 After her daring rescue attempt to free Han Solo from Jabba's Palace, Leia was discovered and taken prisoner.  But instead of sending her to the dungeons, the debauched Hutt added the beautiful princess to his harem . 

Hmm.. Debauched..hmmm….Harem. Yep, as Yucky as that might be, I am lead to the conclusion that Leia, during her time of capitavity, was definitely used as Jabba's sexual playmate, who, in this case, is the first alien Life-form to exhibit interest in kinky BDSM sexual play with a human woman, and forces one to engage in such play with him. George Lucas, you depraved bastard you. Throwing that in a PG movie. Shame on you.

Come to think of it though, it does explain, not to mention justify, the utter brutality and complete lack of mercy that Leia exhibited in killing Jabba, and makes her using the metal chain he leashed her in to choke the life out of his bloated drool coverd body, well, kinda poetic. Good on Leia. Thumbs up.

Comments

  1. hahahaha, I don’t know how things like this come to your mind…

  2. Melissa in NorCal says:

    I tend to agree with you. She killed him in a deeply personalized way. I would say it was revenge for molestation and rape no doubt. Ewwww!

  3. Which makes Luke’s masterful plan for the rescue of Han Solo ever so much crap.
    He masterfully “inserts” all his people inside Jabba’s entourage in order to execute the final escape, making his sister a harem slave in the process. Brilliant.

  4. You have a point there Sig. You have a point.

    I am now afraid that if this theory spread, it will lead to some really crazy new role playing fantasy.

    “Hey baby, check this out: You be princess Leia in the golden bikini, and I will be Jabba the Hut”

    Hmm…

  5. Sam you just gave every star wars geek on the planet 20 years worth of arguments….

  6. All of this makes you wonder how the Huts manage to reproduce, considering how their tastes lie with scantily clothed humans…!?!?!?!?!? :D

  7. imagine two hutts (like Jabba and another member of his species) doing it. Maybe it’s something like this?

  8. Come on…
    it’s out of question that Jabba the Hutt doesn’t have a Harem..
    why?
    He doesn’t have any genitals….!
    see the 1998 special edition, and watch a full shot of Jabba’s naked body!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eCg0rGfH-w

    stop making esha3at please…

  9. Melissa in NorCal says:

    o7od!:

    I didn’t see that he didn’t have genitals. Have you ever seen morbidly obese people naked? Okay, I’ve only seen women at the gym, never a man, but they have this roll hanging over the genital area. You can’t see it. I imagine it is the same with morbidly obese men. Still, excessive weight increases estrogen in humans. Estrogen in males means a smaller penis. I say Jabba was a pervert.

  10. Well Jaba did have twi-lek dancing girls in his throne room also, he fed one to his pet rancor. I’m thinking he was a sadist and got off on causing pain/embarrassment. The most pain and embarrassment he could cause a princess would be to chain her to his throne in inappropriate attire, and make her helpless. Torture, and slave labor would be a physical attack that she could lose herself in, after all her planet was blown up so mundane mind numbing repetitive tasks would help her escape. Sitting on the edge of the throne, near naked, surrounded by enemies, helpless, and realizing that your plan to rescue Han failed just like your effort to protect your home planet and the rebel alliance, would be the worst any one could do to a strong willed take charge princess.

  11. OoOoOo Leia in a gollllld bikinnnni!!! Oh no wait, sorry; just realized I’m straight. Nope. Nothing.

  12. Bob in Houston says:

    Wasn’t Jabba more of a Human looking type in the first theater release or was it the comic? maybe the harem girl outfit was originally written with that in mind.

  13. Which makes Luke’s masterful plan for the rescue of Han Solo ever so much crap.
    He masterfully “inserts” all his people inside Jabba’s entourage in order to execute the final escape, making his sister a harem slave in the process. Brilliant.

    Well, that can easily be explained away by assuming Luke has used The Force to see into the future and that by placing his friends it’d be successful.

  14. At risk of revealing my true dorkiness…in the Han Solo Trilogy of novels, it is revealed that Hutts reproduce asexually. They become female, become with child, give birth, and keep the baby in a pouch like a marsupial. Once the offspring is able to live outside the pouch, the parent goes back to being male.

    Jabba’s thing for scantily clad dancing human(oid)s is looked at as a distasteful perversion.

  15. Star Wars Guy says:

    You know something kinda weird, sandmonkey? I kind of was thinking the same thing. I agree with scaulen that jabba used the bikini as a form of disgrace to her…making a strong princess appear helpless when she really isn’t! But here’s one for you…in the original trilogy, the Jabba the Hutt story was one of the few stories out there was a “side-story” that had nothing to do with the Empire! Perhaps, even though the crime lord, Jabba, was all knowing and has some friends in low places, maybe he was too busy tampering in organized crime and being a gangster to even know about the empire. I’m sure he knew SOME of what was going on, but probably didn’t follow the news that often. He had his own doings, and after all, Darth Vader didn’t DIRECTLY deliver Han Solo to the gangster. Boba Fett brought him in after Vader froze him in the carbonite.
    That said, maybe Jabba didn’t know how strong the princess was or her alliance. I’m not saying he was totally oblivious, but maybe he really felt that princess leia WAS helpless instead of a freedom-fighting revolutionary! Jabba just did gangster stuff. I’m sure since they were evil, he supported the empire, but probably didn’t really affiliate with them directly. And remember, he was thirsting for Han Solo’s blood ever since A New Hope!
    Nonetheless, you are right about one thing sandmonkey, Anybody can chain up a person and make them a slave. But if they are chained up for labor and not something sexual, there’s no need for a risque outfit. I think, since it’s PG, parents can tell their little pre-teen boys that watch that movie that she is a “dancing” slave, and dancers need beautiful, skimpy attire. But as adults, we know differently! Since there is no LITERAL sexual implications, it is easy to convince an innocent kid to think something differently. It’s like telling them that Santa Claus is real until they hit the age of 10 or 11 and find out that’s not the case!
    Nevertheless, a sexy, gold bikini? And you even have to ask that question? YES! Princess Leia was definitely raped and violated by the crime lord. He wanted his beautiful new SEX slave to wear something pretty for him. Hopefully Leai wasn’t subjected to too much humiliation before she killed him. However, one more question remains: if she’s so strong, why didn’t she start choking Jabba the minute he laid a finger on her bfeore Luke even arrived? Did Leia herself enjoy being the object of Jabba’s sexual desire for that brief period to allow it to go on as long as it did! Dude, if I were a female, and he dressed me in that bikini, and tried laying his greasy mitts on me, he’d be dead before I even was stripped out of the Boussch bounty hunter outfit! Then there would be no need to send Luke, Han, or Chewey to the Saarlac pit or anything! Anyway, I’m rambling!

  16. Ok, I think it is fairly obvious that Jabba had at least some kind of sexual designs for Leia. However, him being an alien species of questionable reproductive means begs to question whether or not she was merely his eye candy/trophy. Also, and I’m not a star wars expert, but how long was she his slave before Luke arrived? It seems as if it was just that next morning that he shows up, however, I’m not an expert. Actually, I think we are just overthinking the whole matter anyway. I doubt that George Lucas actually thought it out that thoroughly. He was probably just like, “hmm, what has this series really been missing to bring in more horny teenagers? Oh yeah, women in skimpy clothing. Lets get a blue alien chick who is basically showing her boobs, and then lets dress Leia down to some kind of Conaan-ish metal bikini”.

  17. never thought about it that way, i just wanted to see her boobs, pussy, and ass! its such a hot picture makes me want to fuck her every hole feel all over her sexy body…

  18. i wish i could rape her and molest her for as long as i want! she would hate me more than jabba for all the shit i would do to her sexy body. her and every hot girl.

  19. god damn shes hot as holy hell, look up leia rape pics for sexier pics than that………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..