We are experiencing some fuckin technical difficulties

Finally, internet. Ok, I better make this quick.

The internet has been shit for the past few days. It's been touch and go at work, with it working only for a minute, and then going down for 10, and at home only gmail and facebook seem to work. I think I speak for the entire affected population when I urge my government to pay whatever ransom those Mafioso italian bastards who keep cutting our internet cable want from you to just STOP doing that. Or, maybe, just maybe, you should consider burrying the cables? I know, silly, burrying underwater cables underground, but, please, fuckin just do it? Cause, how do I put this delicately, oh I know, this sucks my left one.

So, please dear readers, accept my apologies. Once normal internet conditions are available, the blog will return in full force. No joke and no lie.

Now, let me push the publish button, and hope this gets through.

Comments

  1. mmm…
    This tine i haven’t heard any theories that the Israelis did it.

  2. ROCK ON MOFIA MEN!! YummyYum!

    Please Print out and carry with you in case you forget what to do.
    HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an auto matic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies – Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
    Have a great holiday season

  3. C, so that is why Xmas is also named the festival of peace? No quarrels because everyone is knocked out by after-meal tiredness? Makes sense.

    Good food and happy holidays to everyone!

  4. I had thought that they already did bury those undersea cables – dredge a trench, lay the cable, cover with rocks and crap. Must be just at certain high risk points. Bury them all the way I say.

    Unfortunately, that area of the Mediterranean is a chock point and any seismic damage or a well placed dragging anchor can do far more damage than elsewhere. And putting land based redundant lines leaves them at risk from any uninformed guy with a backhoe or vandals or people who think the lines might be copper (i.e. valuable).

    Maybe with some of the lines that are coming into service around the African coast and better technology for quickly placing land lines (perhaps crossing Egypt away from the Suez and across Turkey and Iraq) there will be enough redundancy to avoid such major outages in the future.

  5. I am curious, Israelis do not seem to have this problem. How do they manage to keep lines on?

  6. Roman Kalik says:

    Leo, I think I’ve found an answer to your question.

    Simply put, Israel has further lines to serve as backups. I even doubt that many Israelis noticed (as I did at times) that the ISP’s used their backup servers on quite a few occasions over the past few months. Specifically, my own ISP used backups located in Romania, likely the cheapest tertiary backup path to reach the rest of Europe’s Internet backbone, unlike the more expensive France.

    *shrug* I also assume that lease payments to higher-tier ISP’s also enter the equation, really, which means paying the people who pay the people who, in the end, actually pay the owners of the lines…

    The lines to Italy *have* been disrupted, and I assure you that it affected Israel as well. Thing is, overall… Israel relies on information infrastructure on a much higher level than others in the immediate vicinity. Which is why we have more lines, overall. We paid for the pleasure of having a three-way backup, whereas Egypt…

    Well, Egypt relies on Italy. And the rest of the Arab Middle-East seems to be connected to the Alexandria line hub one way or another.

    Only to be expected, really. We’ve been at war for decades, and current realities are still rather hostile – so we’d hardly agree to share too much, now would we?

  7. Marie Claude says:

    Roman, your a liar, Russia is your provider, LMAO as many places in the ME

    um, sorry, France, isn’t the expensivest place, I would know it then !!!!

  8. Roman,

    Thanks for the info.

    Marie,

    I do not see a reason for you hostility. Why would anybody have a reason to lie about something like this? Be mistaking, perhaps but lying? Hardly.
    BTW, I looked at the map and could not see line between Israel and Russia.

  9. Roman Kalik says:

    Roman, your a liar, Russia is your provider, LMAO as many places in the ME

    Um, no. Russia is the provider for where *satellite* is the main connection to the ‘net. This applies to places where the rural regions rule supreme and infrastructure is very expensive (Iraq) or where borders are too messed-up (most of Lebanon). In Lebanon, for example, many of the local ISP’s connect to the internet backbone via satellite. In Iraq, many customers (a reality of post-Saddam consumerism) connect to the net via a satellite dish.

    Israel doesn’t need this. Neither does Egypt. We have underwater lines to connect us to Europe, which gives an overall better quality of connection – because that way, we don’t get the latency issues inherent in a satellite-based network, and we actually pay less overall.

    um, sorry, France, isn’t the expensivest place, I would know it then !!!!

    Mhm. So what you’re saying is that France is less expensive than Eastern Europe? You do realize the absurdity of this claim, I hope.