A brief History of Caroline Kennedy

And people made fun of the Sarah Palin resume! Check this doozy out!

We are experiencing some fuckin technical difficulties

Finally, internet. Ok, I better make this quick.

The internet has been shit for the past few days. It's been touch and go at work, with it working only for a minute, and then going down for 10, and at home only gmail and facebook seem to work. I think I speak for the entire affected population when I urge my government to pay whatever ransom those Mafioso italian bastards who keep cutting our internet cable want from you to just STOP doing that. Or, maybe, just maybe, you should consider burrying the cables? I know, silly, burrying underwater cables underground, but, please, fuckin just do it? Cause, how do I put this delicately, oh I know, this sucks my left one.

So, please dear readers, accept my apologies. Once normal internet conditions are available, the blog will return in full force. No joke and no lie.

Now, let me push the publish button, and hope this gets through.

Where is the Qatari blogsphere?

Every country in the region has a somewhat working and vibrant blogsphere. Even Saudi has one. Where is Qatar's? How come I've never heard of a single qatari blogger? Why isn't there any qatari blogs on Itoot? What's going on?

It's impossible that there isn't one because of how small they are, because Kuwait is tiny and filled with bloggers. I am starting to wonder that maybe there is another reason why there isn't a blogsphere, and it's making me worry…

So, about that metal Bikini…

So here I was, scrolling down on my homepage in my effort to take notes to the things I want to change (I am planning a re-design), when I stumbled upon that picture of Princess Leia in that Golden Bikini. Looking at that picture, I found myself wondering: So, why,exactly, was Leia dressed in a metal bikini in that scene? What exactly does it imply? I mean, if it was supposed to signify Leia's new slave status, then the metal neckbrace and chain would've been enough, right? Why would she have to be dressed in that outfit, unless she was more than just an oridinary slave? And then the horrifying possibility hits you: Was Leia Jabba's sex slave? Did he do..ehh..things to her? And then you remembered his tentacles, and images only fitting to be found in Japanese Hentai demon porn suddenly emerge in your mind, and EWWW…

So, I set out on a mission, to try to find any information on said scene and backstory. Yeah, 66,000 websites drooling over Leia in a metal Bikini, and not a single one of them contemplates the reason why she was forced to wear it, and what it meant she had to do during her time in captivity. There were some clues in a website dedicated to Leia's metal Bikini, aptly called www.Leiasmetalbikini.com, fully dedicated to everything related to the infamous Metal Bikini and women who like to wear it and pose it (Holy shit there are many, and they are hot, too). The clues were in the introduction page. One from the Paragraph of the novelization of the Return of the Jedi, which said:

   "(Jabba) tugged, with his swollen fingers, on the chain attached to Princess Leia's neck.  The more resistance he met with, the more he drooled – until he'd drawn the struggling, scantily-clad princess close to him once more."

Which brings up the question of- if Leia's slavery had no sexual connetation, why would our boy Jabba drool whenever he got to show his power over our Princess? And it seems that I am not the only one who thought their relationships was more than just slave and master, because (and here comes the second clue), the people who run the website also wrote this:

 After her daring rescue attempt to free Han Solo from Jabba's Palace, Leia was discovered and taken prisoner.  But instead of sending her to the dungeons, the debauched Hutt added the beautiful princess to his harem . 

Hmm.. Debauched..hmmm….Harem. Yep, as Yucky as that might be, I am lead to the conclusion that Leia, during her time of capitavity, was definitely used as Jabba's sexual playmate, who, in this case, is the first alien Life-form to exhibit interest in kinky BDSM sexual play with a human woman, and forces one to engage in such play with him. George Lucas, you depraved bastard you. Throwing that in a PG movie. Shame on you.

Come to think of it though, it does explain, not to mention justify, the utter brutality and complete lack of mercy that Leia exhibited in killing Jabba, and makes her using the metal chain he leashed her in to choke the life out of his bloated drool coverd body, well, kinda poetic. Good on Leia. Thumbs up.

For the unemployed amongst you

If there is ever a benefit for a blogger to no longer having a job, it's that it gives him/her more time to blog, and thsoe two bloggers did just that. For all of you who are unemployed, on your way to being unemployed, or are just suffering from serious job insecuirty, I give you the Unemploymentality blog. It should help get you through the day, provide you of an unemployment survival guide of sorts, and will remind you that there are benefits to being a jobless bum. Should provide you with entertainment and even hope, if you are HATING your (new) job enviroment (as much as I am at the moment. Hate those fuckers. HATE! And, IT department pricks, if you are reading this, fuck you, you website-blocking, adminstrator-authority-on-computer-taking, God-complex-having-assholes. Why the fuck should I have to change my log-on password once every month? How can I keep all those passwords stored? I have no functioning memory cells left you dicks. I HATE YOU!).

Sock and Awe

For those of you who want to throw shoes at Bush, Go right ahead!

Can we move on now? 

Moving towards a divided world

You know, this no longer surprises me:

The Boston Public Health Commission has just banned the sale of all tobacco products at colleges. Not high schools. Colleges.

Anti-smoking activists are ecstatic. "Boston has taken another step that puts it in the forefront in the United States in protecting people against secondhand smoke," says the president of the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids. But the Boston regulations don't just restrict smoking. They forbid the sale of "any substance containing tobacco leaf, including but not limited to cigarettes, cigars, pipe, tobacco, snuff, chewing tobacco and dipping tobacco." Last I heard, there's no secondhand smoke from chewing tobacco. And the tobacco industry is constantly developing new products that confound the equation of tobacco with smoking. That's not because tobacco companies care deeply about public health. It's because secondhand smoke has become a political problem for them—and because, while addicting customers is good business, killing them isn't.

In a press release, the executive director of the Boston commission says the new regulations "will help reduce young people's exposure to tobacco products." Young people? That phrase used to mean minors. Now, apparently, it includes the targets of the new rule: students at "any public or private college, normal school, professional school, scientific or technical institution, university or other institution furnishing a program of higher education."

On what grounds do college students—not to mention students at professional schools—deserve the kind of paternalism previously reserved for minors? The commission offers two reasons. First, "educational institutions in the City of Boston also sell tobacco products to the younger population, which is particularly at risk for becoming smokers." Second, "the sale of tobacco products is also incompatible with the mission of educational institutions which educate the younger population about social, environmental and health risks and harms."

In other words, college students (henceforth known as "the younger population") are so vulnerable to smoking and to deception about the harms of smoking that their access to any tobacco products on campus must be legally forbidden.

People who know me know that I don't smoke cigarettes or for that matter chew Tobacco- which is gross btw- , but I firmly believe in the smokers right to smoke, even if it harmful for them. It's their right to decide what they do to their bodies, and being an anti-smoking nazi about it, to the point you are restricting its sale to college freakin students, that's just crossing the line. But it's ok to cross the line in the name of "the greater good" and "public welfare"', isn't it? After all, people just don't know whats good for them, right? Well, with all due respect to whatever personal tragedy you will throw in my face to guilt my ass into believing that taking away some people's freedom is really in their best interest, fuck that shit!

You know, in 10 years or so I can totally see this world divided up into two very different worlds: One, where the citizens of the  so called advanced and civilized nations get to have their full political rights and freedom (freedom pf speech, democracy, blah blah), but won't have the right or freedom to do much else, because "it's bad for them"; and the other, made up of "less advanced nations", where you won't really have your full- or any- political rights, but you could do whatever you damn well please otherwise. It's happening as we speak, although less subtle-y, and when it finally takes shape, we will suddenly have a really fucked up debate over Liberty: which of the two worlds is more free? Which would you, average joe or Moe, rather live in? Suddenly the merits of political rights will be challenged ,for the first time ever, by the merits of personal liberties. What is the point of being politically free if you live in a sterile society where people keep putting limitations on your life in the name of what's best for you? How many times are you going to challenge the political establishment anyway? How many of you would rather give that up, to live in a society that doesn't allow you to shape the country's policies, but let's do whatever you damn well please otherwise? This is the road we are all heading towards, and it sucks, because you shouldn't have to choose between the two. Don't you think so?

10 signs you are too good for her

Those guys at Askmen.com are a nit-picky ass bunch, aren't they? This guide s harsh!

You will get kidnapped in Mexico

I mean, if the US anti-kidnapping expert got kidnapped, what chance do you have? Also, can we please remove that title from him if he gets released? It's kinda embarrassing at this point!

Caroline Kennedy is the frontrunner?

So, I guess there is such a thing as american royalty and nepotism: How else would you otherwise justify that Caroline Kennedy is the front-runner to replace Hillary Clinton? What did she do, besides being the daughter and sister of two dead american darlings? And don't tell me she wrote a book, ok? Joe the Plumber wrote a freakin book. It's not hard!

Is throwing shoes at someone freedom of speech?

Seriously now, because some people at AlBaghdadeya TV, the employee of Shoe-chucker, are claiming that his freedom of speech is violated by his arrest. And here I thought he tried to assault Bush and failed, twice. Am I missing something? Can I beat up people and call it freedom of speech now? And isn;t it awesome how they likened his arrest to the massgraves of Saddam? I can totally see them writing it too, being like "Yes, link it to that shit. Americans are stupid and filled with guilt. They will totally cave!". Or am I being unfair here?

A Psychotic day in Egypt

Today has been quite a psychotic day in Egypt. First of all, today was the sentencing of the 49 people who got arrested during the Mahalla riots, 22 of which were sentenced to jail time between 3 and 5 years. There was literally no evidence against them, and the decisions can not be appealed. It was an abortion of Justice, and all in order to set an example to other egyptians: You can't tear down Mubarak pictures and stand on them and expect to get away with it.

And there is today's incident in Alex, which was very very Bizzare. In Egypt we have those motorcycles- vehicles that can seat 3 people in the back, and are called the "Toktok", and are used to transport people around. They are a cheap alternative to taxis and they are not allowed to be registered in most govornrates, but are generally tolerated. Well, a police Officer stopped a Toktok today and wanted to confiscate it. When the Driver's pleadings fell to deaf ear, the driver decidded to resport to drastic measure: He got out a bottle of fuel, and doused himself and his motorcycle with it, threatening to set himself and the vehicle on fire if it got confiscated, since it's the one piece of property he has. The Police officer reportedly told him to go ahead and and the man actually did it and set himself on fire, and was then sent to the Hospital for severe burns. Apparently the man's relatives and friends heard about it, but in the version they heard, the driver was actually set on fire by a cigarette the police officer flicked on him in his gasoline soaked state, so they went and attacked the police, throwing them with stones and empty bottles. The riot police was brought in and 15 people were arrested.

 The country is going to hell in a hand basket, it seems!

Damn you Carrie Fisher!

There goes that golden Bikini Fantasy. Yep, totally shot to shit!

Now, about that sordid relationship she is having with Jabba the Hut..

Quote of the Day

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.

Tom Robbins

Typical Egyptian Male Behavior

I don't agree with all of them, but I will be damned if Mayo did not hit some nails on their heads. My Favorites:

1.He lost all his savings; Stock Market, Rayan, Private Business, you name it.
3. You are not allowed to do what he does. And that ranges from the simple issues of smoking and friends of the opposite sex to losing your virginity before marriage.
4. Your mom sucks and you listen to everything your mom says. Ever wondered who shaped that twisted perception; it his bloody mom.
5. You are fake and you are running after him, and that's why whenever he sees you he talks about nothing except a crush over an East European girl or the "Acclaimed 100, 000 LE" he lost in the stock market.
6. He has no sense of privacy whatsoever. He can browse the files on your mobile even without your approval. If you tell him "What the hell are you doing?" His answer would be "What the hell do you have to hide?"
7. He generalizes. You girls want to marry a rich guy. You girls would make a man miserable. You girls don't wear dresses.
8. He assumes that he is god's gift from heaven to you, and you don't desreve him. Hence he asks you to go over the border for him. "We are going to live with my mom." "I am only 30 Kgs over weight." "My ex loved more than you do and you have to be like her."

18. He has been a junkie, and a bearded religious man of god, and anything in between.

And my Favorite:

19. Definitely, when he graduated, he was qualified for a management position. It is only the luck of the competition that got them where they are now. " Tarek abouh kan gayblo wasta keda"

Check out her post parts 1 and 2.

On the shoe throwing Incident

Three thoughts:

1) Bush has some seriously fast reflexes for an old man.

2) You notice that Malki did not move or budge throughout the whole incident? He wasn't exen startled or shocked. Check out the Slideshow to see for yourself.

3) The thrower of said shoe, Muthathar al Zaidi, a Baghdadiya reporter who is a supporter of the secterian sunni shia militias that attack both the US and the Predominantly Shia government forces, is going to be just fine. I know some people over in Juan Cole land are worried that their Hero might be tortured or his life be put in jeoprady, but rest assured that no such thing will happen. No matter how pathethic that may be, that boy just became a Hero to the majority of the "arab street" and the "leftist world". He will be fine, and he will get invited to Dinner parties for a very long time just for doing that.

Darren Oronofsky the anti-Iranian

You know, for a bunch of so called tough-guys, the Iranians sure are a bunch of hyper-sensitive whiney bitches!

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Dildo shopping

Cause that's what you do once you are done with Highschool musicals!

I heart Disney!

Obama the Palestinian

The fears of the american right and the zionist movemnet have now been confirmed: A Palestinian tribe from AlGaleel has claimed that Obama is one of its decendents, and therefore Palestinian. I would like to take this opprutunity to encourage Obama to run in the upcoming palestinian elections as the alternative third candidate between Hamas and Fatah, and then, upon winning, resume negotiations with himself over how to adequetly resolve the mid-east peace crisis. Should be awesome. Kafka would be proud!

No1 Sun Engine opens tomorrow

  

Did you know that the world's First Industrial-sized Solar plant  was built in Cairo, Egypt, in the Maadi neighbourhood? I didn't, and I am sure there are many many many egyptians, let alone people from all over, unaware of that fact. Thanks to the work of two Swiss artists, Christina hemauer and Roman keller, this fact is being brought to light. And they are sending this invite to any one who lives in Cairo and is interested in that fact:

Dear friends and colleagues
Dear art lovers

We would kindly invite you for the opening
of our information kiosk in Maadi –
part of our project «No1 Sun Engine»
at the 11th Cairo International Biennale.

The opening takes place exactly where the
world's first industrial size solar plant was
built in Maadi, 6th street 101,
Monday 15th December, from 4 to 6 pm –
where vision meets history.

There will be a small buffet, pictures,
a lot of information
and many things to discuss.

We are looking forward to see you
Christina Hemauer | Roman Keller

Check it out!