''Ah, what's the matter, dollface — down in the dumps? Sucks to be you, huh? What's with you, Lloyd's of London? You take one 'mind-blowing' philosophy class, and all of a sudden you're Jean-Paul Sartre? Oh, so now you've got this existentialist hook-thing too? Well, that's great, because all you need is a little more mystique. Now you've got a chance with all the freaky chicks I was gonna get. I've taken so much acne medication my lips are splitting in half! This might cheer you up: You're hotter than most chicks! What are you doing in college anyway? People like you don't need to know how to read. Nice nose.''
From the incredibly underrated and unjustifably canceled TV show Undeclared