Proof that muslims and Jews are cousins..

Because right after Our own Qorqor talked about Angelic fighters fighting on the side of muslims, Israeli Rabbis are talking about how Rachel (as in the biblical Rachel, people) has appeard to IDF soldiers and showed them where the terrorists are. One wonders howcome Rachel did not tell them where Gilad Shalit is, but I am guessing she is just into it for the killing of arab terrorists. Saving captive jewish soldiers? Mehh.. She is too busy for that. Too many arabs, so little time, or something!

I love the middle east. Anyone else hates the fact that he wasn't born in Switzerland?

Comments

  1. :D !!!

    And of course, they had to warned by “young beautiful women”… :P

    It doesn’t much matter which religion someone swears to… If it gets the upper hand, your brain will melt!

  2. Just read your latest topics again… This is actually top-notch humor!

    We’re in the 21 century now, and both sides of this conflict are seriously insisting that “God” has sent angels… real, live angels… to help them out on the frontlines!

    No puny strengthening of spirit or even a voice from the skies… Nope, honest to goodness angels with weapons, no less!!!

    Jeez, no wonder this place seems like it’s falling apart sometimes…! :D

  3. Yes, I heard the story in shul on Shabbas. Amazing how war brings religion to people, isn’t it?

  4. Abu Sa'ar says:

    Dude, it’s obvious! Rachel Imeinu was duking it out with the angels. Huge, fire-breathing, Godzilla-sized Rachel Imeinu. And the angels wore black leather, ran on walls and wielded manga-style oversized swords.

    Didn’t you see it on Al Jazeera?

  5. Man, don't get me started. This whole thing is upsetting me so much that I am fighting with Jesus about it tonight over drinks. And don't tell me that he had nothing to do with it; I am 99% certain that freakin jew is behind this!

  6. I’ve always heard there are no atheists in a fox hole!! ;)

  7. I’m surprised they didn’t see the angel of Bob – FUCKING – Marley singing – “I am goinggggg to Zion”

  8. SM…

    Our hallucinations are in fact revelation…YOUR hallucinations are from all that hashish you guys smoke because you are not allowed to drink or have pre-marital sex…This is why we control the media and world banking.

    Don’t you see it?

  9. Look…let’s get to the truth…it wasn’t an angel…It was a Fatah drag queen snitching off Hamas dudes for being anti-gay.

  10. Jonathan Levy says:

    I heard that story too! I was wondering, how they knew for sure it was Rachel, and not Sarah, or Leah, or Rebecca? It’s so ironic, some Fatma in Gaza warns soldiers not to enter her booby-trapped house, so it doesn’t get blown up, and a few days later she’s a Jewish Matriarch incarnate.

    It reminds me of the Life of Brian:
    Blind man: “I am healed! The master has healed me! I was blind – and now I can see!”
    Crowd: “A miracle! A miracle!”

  11. a profound jew!

    Oh my name it is nothin’
    My age it means less
    The country I come from
    Is called the Midwest
    I’s taught and brought up there
    The laws to abide
    And that land that I live in
    Has God on its side.

    Oh the history books tell it
    They tell it so well
    The cavalries charged
    The Indians fell
    The cavalries charged
    The Indians died
    Oh the country was young
    With God on its side.

    Oh the Spanish-American
    War had its day
    And the Civil War too
    Was soon laid away
    And the names of the heroes
    I’s made to memorize
    With guns in their hands
    And God on their side.

    Oh the First World War, boys
    It closed out its fate
    The reason for fighting
    I never got straight
    But I learned to accept it
    Accept it with pride
    For you don’t count the dead
    When God’s on your side.

    When the Second World War
    Came to an end
    We forgave the Germans
    And we were friends
    Though they murdered six million
    In the ovens they fried
    The Germans now too
    Have God on their side.

    I’ve learned to hate Russians
    All through my whole life
    If another war starts
    It’s them we must fight
    To hate them and fear them
    To run and to hide
    And accept it all bravely
    With God on my side.

    But now we got weapons
    Of the chemical dust
    If fire them we’re forced to
    Then fire them we must
    One push of the button
    And a shot the world wide
    And you never ask questions
    When God’s on your side.

    In a many dark hour
    I’ve been thinkin’ about this
    That Jesus Christ
    Was betrayed by a kiss
    But I can’t think for you
    You’ll have to decide
    Whether Judas Iscariot
    Had God on his side.

    So now as I’m leavin’
    I’m weary as Hell
    The confusion I’m feelin’
    Ain’t no tongue can tell
    The words fill my head
    And fall to the floor
    If God’s on our side
    He’ll stop the next war.

  12. adrian from Denmark says:

    Now I begin to understand that I couldn’t find my angels when I should decorate the christmas tree – they’ve all emigrated to Gaza :-/
    But what about santa – is he supporting the palestians or the israelis?

  13. They are called “Fallen Angels”, you peabrains.

  14. On the topic of shisha, or whatever, how do they have shisha bars in the US?
    I’ve heard of them. What is shisha? Some kind of weed or what? Herbs?
    Maybe I shall have a major career change and grow it in my basement.
    Tell!

  15. LOL, you all are hilarious!!!!

  16. C, shisha (kaliyan) is a smoke pipe with smoke passing through water before it gets to you. You can load it with any ‘tabaco’ your heart desires. Just be careful.

  17. “One wonders howcome Rachel did not tell them where Gilad Shalit is, but I am guessing she is just into it for the killing of arab terrorists.”

    There is nothing to wonder about. If Shalit would’ve been found that claim would’ve been included too.

    I noticed something new in this Gaza campaign.
    Looks like Israelis took lesson from Nasrallah’s play book.
    First one achieves something and only then one declares an achievement as one’s initial goal.
    Guarantied Divine Victory – Vinograd in action.

  18. Eva, Canada says:

    Normal people are getting tired of all this religious nonsense that plagues the entire world. See here:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090119/lf_afp/lifestylebritainreligiontransportatheism;_ylt=Ao7lNbBII3EI0_2ipkzmlMJ34T0D

    Lynn, great poem!

  19. Thanks!
    I shall create my OWN shisha recipes.

    About the religious angle…I am completely convinced and a believer.
    I get tired of the religious debates because I know the truth already, and it is just a waste of my time to read about it.
    Anyone want to elaborate, because I am not great with debates.

    Right now, I am trying to find a freaking new career because this freaking
    world is pathetically freaking out.
    Hey, SM..while you are praying…er..talking to Jesus…please ask him to find me a freaking job, will Ya?
    Thanx Angel!

  20. Switzerland? Come on, Sandmonkey, what would the likes of you and me (cousins, yes) do in the freaking Switzerland? Count the flies on their cows? If one must die, at least one shouldn’t do so of boredom…

  21. snoopy: We could eat choclate, ski, go to Germany for breakfast, Italy for lunch and France for dinner, and never ever ever worry about anybody blowing anything up anywhere near us!

  22. And those Swiss girls!!! Don’t forget about them!

  23. Mike Lebanese says:

    Fuck the Israelis and anybody who sympathizes with them. It is always only Jews and Jew-lovers (people that seem to feel sorry for the Jews or people under the Jews or people that don’t want to confront the Jews) that support Israel. I have yet to meet a rational human being that could condone what Israel does and its presence in general.
    Of course you think its funny your an Egyptian, you’ve never really had to deal with them and never been affected by them. Your government disgraced all Arabs in this war, and its in itself a joke.
    Jews are a cousin to Arabs yes, even more so, more like brothers. We are apparently descended from Ishmael who is a brother to Isaac.
    But what does that matter? This isn’t about biblical prophecies, or family trees, or theology even. If it was about theology and religion then Muslims and Jews have a lot more in common then with the Christians as they both reject the trinity.
    Do you think the Zionists see the Arabs as equal though? If they did would they be doing what they have been doing in Palestine and Lebanon?
    Do you think the Americans and Canadians saw the native Americans as equals?

  24. Mike, I cannot agree. Why wouldn’t the Jewish people see Arabs as equal? I believe that there is much more improvement to be made but in Israel Arab-Israelis may worship as they please, school their own children according to their beliefs, own and operate businesses, socialize anywhere at any time without the kind of terrible restrictions faced by African Americans in the US for so many years, and they may run for and hold political office.
    Mike, I hope that there will be a day when all groups in the Middle East get along.

  25. Snoopy the Goon and Sandmonkey: You could also meet Uriella. Since her purler, she believes to be Jesus’ speaking tube. Archangel Uriel backs her up, too.

  26. Former Swiss and still a Jew says:

    Hey, I grew up in Switzerland … no insults please. All the bright ones leave and go to the USA (Einstein did, and so did I). I miss the skiing, but really, who wants to be punctual to the minute every day for their entire life? I may not go for having things blown up around me, but a wee bit of chaos individual elbow room is a good thing. Not to mention that it’s a shorter walk to shul here in the U.S.

  27. “I have yet to meet a rational human being that could condone what Israel does and its presence in general.”

    Taht’s ’cause it takes one to know one… ;)

    “Your government disgraced all Arabs in this war, and its in itself a joke.”

    Yeah, and all the rest of you reeeeally honored your arab roots! Right…

    “…or theology even”

    It’s not? Gee, then I wonder what Sand Ape means with his continous refferences to jews being rejects of God? Or why Jerusalem and the Temple mount seems to play such a big deal…?

    “If they did would they be doing what they have been doing in Palestine and Lebanon?”

    Well, their neighbours have been attacking them and demanding their destruction for 60+ years now; it’s a natural reaction to defend yourself against attacks.

  28. Rachel’s gear on the other hand includes x-ray goggles.
    Rachel 1 – 0 Angels with inflated resumes