A young, 27 year old Egyptan male who is fantastic on paper but so-so
in real life is seeking the following traits in his life partner:
She needs to be a redhead ( FIREBUSH!). She needs to have big eyes.
Like Zooey Dashnal Eyes. She needs to be smart but not nerdy, fun and
unpretentious. Deep down has a warm heart and a loyal spirit, but also
a mean streak to make things more interesting. I don't need a victim to
defend and protect. I want a woman, who, when the world is ending, will
grab a gun and help me rob the Lexus dealership!
She has to be artsy. I want someone who will look at the world through
an artist eyes, and provide me with a truly different perspective on
life. She has to be one who does installation arts and body paint and
build sculptures using mud that we can wrestle on and have sex covered
in. Also, she has to be a pyromaniac. I need someone to burn the world
She needs to have no ideological inclinations or political leanings,
although nihilistic anarchism is acceptable. She needs to hate society,
and its norms and rules, and punch any girl i know who would put what
society thinks over her own happiness (I will punch the guys who do
that). She would need to figure out what it means when a Japanese
Vibrator sends her a coded telepathic message that- when
deciphered-states that a single cloud floating alone in the sky
contains no duck sauce. Her family has to be either totally awesome, or
completely dead, because my side has enough drama for the both of us,
and the morgue doesn't need anymore dead bodies.
She needs to love magic and hate Broccoli. She doesn't have to have the
same musical tastes as I do, but emo and 80's pop music (with notable
exceptions) are grounds for separation. Bonus points if she only likes
incredibly talented eccentric underground artists that will fill my
world with music instead of over-produced crap that I am programmed to
She needs to be a relatively easy orgasmer (Women who have difficulties
orgasming with partners need not apply, at all. Go kill yourselves!)
who loves kids and hates condoms. She needs to be open to the idea of
living in Lebanon, Kenya, Thailand and Brazil before we hit 40. She has
to love to travel and try new things. She also has to love alcohol and
knows how to roll a mean blunt. Knowledge in pick pocketing and picking
locks a bonus. She must love poetry over Journalism, fiction over
reality, and Joss Whedon shows over CSI crap. She also must have
ridiculously high metabolism. And be a religious follower of XKCD!
Curly hair is a plus.
If you know someone who fits the bill, please send her over now and
don't expect a Thank You call for the next 6 months at least. We won't
have time, because we have adventures to go on, you boring dull