The Lizard parable

A lot of people ask me for advice on whom to vote for in the Presidential elections, since they can’t seem to make up their mind regarding the choices that are presented to us (Morsy, Abulfotouh, Moussa, etc..). Unfortunately, I can’t articulate my opinion on the whole matter better than the way Douglas Adam did in his saga the Hitchhiker’s guide To the Galaxy trilogy of five, regarding the Lizard parable. Here it is:

[An extraterrestrial robot and spaceship has just landed on earth. The robot steps out of the spaceship…]

“I come in peace,” it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, “take me to your Lizard.”

Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news reports on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see…”

“You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?”

“No,” said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, “nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”

“Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.”

“I did,” said ford. “It is.”

“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?”

“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”

“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”

“Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”

“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”

“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?”


“I said,” said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, “have you got any gin?”

“I’ll look. Tell me about the lizards.”

Ford shrugged again.

“Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them,” he said. “They’re completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone’s got to say it.”

Well, I am saying it. They are all Lizards, and they don’t deserve your vote or mine. You are , of course, free to do what you want with your vote. Just try your best to decide whether the person you choose is actually genuine, or just another Lizard.

14 Comments on The Lizard parable

  1. Ian (@incommonworld)
    May 7, 2012 at 4:34 am

    You really astound & deLight me, every time You put your thoughts down. It’s refreshing to see Truth revealed.
    Bless You man for your lone voice in the wilderness

  2. christin
    May 7, 2012 at 8:18 am

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  3. Eric Cartman
    May 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Yep, and as usual, screw you guys, I’m going home

  4. LK
    May 8, 2012 at 2:12 am

    I’m a fan but this is the most disappointing post you wrote. I agree with you “They are all Lizards, and they don’t deserve your vote or mine” but this doesn’t mean we simply stay home and not be part of the game. Our vote will make a difference and the lizards will fight over it as the field gets messier. This huff and puff attitude is childish. At Liberal Koshari we decided to endorse Aboul Fotouh. We don’t agree with many of positions but we had to take a stand:

  5. Don Cox
    May 8, 2012 at 10:48 am

    The policies that politicians announce before elections generally change afterwards.

    The best thing is to vote for competence. Does any of the candidates have any common sense? Is there on with his head screwed on right? If so, vote for him, regardless of policies.

    If they are all fools and knaves, then …

  6. Nevsh
    May 8, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    Douglas Adams was a GENIUS! Allah yir7amoh. Thanks for posting.

  7. lynnetteinminnesota
    May 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    When the choice is only Lizards, write in your own candidate, Sandmonkey.

  8. Sadie
    May 13, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    No. Not lizards. Komodo Dragons, carnivourous and they dine even on the dead.

    • ElGalambo
      May 15, 2012 at 9:03 pm

      I just noticed both Sandmonkey and the article I just linked to mentioned the same quote from ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ to argue for the same thing. Apparently, great minds think alike.

  9. W. C. Taqiyya
    May 17, 2012 at 4:02 am

    Or, El Galambo, it may be that Sand Monkey is an amalgamation of some of the smartest Egyptian writers we have seen. Of course, they work for the general council, God bless them. Personally, I think I see the influence of Jordanian propaganda. Frankly, the Jordanians, aside from the Israelis, are the best. Anyway, whoever is posting as Sand Monkey is not one person. Nice try though.

  10. Notumbo
    May 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    Yes, lizards they are, even the one’s who start off not being lizards. It seems that power corrupts everyone, though to varying degrees. Politics is, essentially, about personal agendas, and lizard brains are perfect for forcing agenda’s down everyone else’s throats. I must disagree with the comment above that one must at least vote, even if for the lesser of the many evils. Voting for them simply encourages them. Consider adopting what the State of Nevada did – all ballots also offer a “None of the Above” option. That way, you can cast your vote of no confidence. The one power the people should always retain is the power to rebuke and show their disdain for fools.


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