Archive of ‘American politics’ category

Help feed Sarah Bernhard

She is a fifth rate comedian who used to be something in the 80's and needs some publicity and money. So she went off and insulted Palin, calling her a turncoat Bitch and hoped she gets gang-raped by black brothers in New York. Cause that's what other women wish on women who disagree with them: Rape!

But I digress, she needs the work, people. And that's why she urges people to send the video to everybody. And she did say that the rape thing is part of "a larger nuanced argument". Cause there is a lot of nuance into wishing women to get raped.

God I love US politics and the freaks it unleashes!

Classy gesture or Cynical Ploy?

McCain released the following ad the day of Obama's candidacy at the democratic convention, congratulating him on his achievment for being a black candidate. At first I thought it was nice, and thought that be weird, and then I noticed its subversive nature.

"How perfect that your nomination would come at this historic day." 

And by historic day, he means the 45 year anniversary of MLK's speech, thus highlighting the cynical interesting nature of positioning the nomination on that day. 

But I could be wrong. What do you think? 

Regarding John Edwards

You know, when he first showed up in the political scene, everybody in the democratic party called him the second coming of Bill Clinton. I guess they never knew how accurate they really were. Boy was I surprised. Mr. My dad worked in a windmill and I have a dead so and a cancer stricken wife is phony baloney. Who knew?

Well, it seems the answer to that question is..weirdly enough..John Kerry:

Kerry talked with several potential picks, including Gephardt and
Edwards. He was comfortable after his conversations with Gephardt, but
even queasier about Edwards after they met. Edwards had told Kerry he
was going to share a story with him that he'd never told anyone
else—that after his son Wade had been killed, he climbed onto the slab
at the funeral home, laid there and hugged his body, and promised that
he'd do all he could to make life better for people, to live up to
Wade's ideals of service. Kerry was stunned, not moved, because, as he
told me later, Edwards had recounted the same exact story to him,
almost in the exact same words, a year or two before—and with the same
preface, that he'd never shared the memory with anyone else. Kerry said
he found it chilling, and he decided he couldn't pick Edwards unless he
met with him again.

This is the man whose wife found out that her cancer was back in march 2007, and father a kid in february 2008. Our boy cheated on his cancer-stricken wife. No wonder he was talking about two Americas, he was sleeping in two bedrooms, one in each America. But before you feel bad for his wife, please take a minute and chill. Don't think she is a victim. Ok, so she has cancer, that makes her a cancer victim, but come on, u get the idea. She knew of the affair in 2006, and still supported his running for office in 2008, knowing full well that if that thing exploded around general election time- and of lookie, it just did- the chances of the Dems winning the presidency would've been close to nill. But she went ahead anyway, aware of the affair, and keeping her mouth shut, defending him, appearing everywhere, using her cancer to guilt people into donating to their campaign and most recently to get herself a speaking gig at the convention- in order to get that coveted female terminal cancer victims whose husbands cheated on them demographic, it's soo important- and a Think Tank job. The woman's ambition and complicity puts Hillary's to shame, and now that Hillary knows that, she is probably glad that Elizabeth has cancer. I mean that kind of brazen immorality combined with manipulating people's emotions and guilt has always been Hillary's shtick, and now comes Edwards wife, whose husband also cheated on her while she is battling cancer and after she lost a son? Hillary can't win against that in 2012. That's some heavy heavy guilt.

Alas, too bad, I always liked Edwards (I like my politicians the way I like my lawyers- scummy, fake, manipulative and pretty. Hallo, I did endorse Obama, people. That should tell you something) and the nice little image of the American dream realized that he and his wife have presented to us so well. No longer will women lament how they never got a man this decent, who is attractive, young-looking and a millionaire, and yet won't cheat on his old fat wife. They once again got their fantasy shattered and will continue to believe that we are all the same. Thanks John, you dick, for ruining even that for us. Now go chase an ambulance, you will need the money, having a new-born baby to raise that you probably hate now and everything. Enjoy.

Why Obama will fail!

First of all, before we get into this, let me say how happy I am with the selection of both Obama and McCain as the presumptive nominees of the republican and the democratic parties, and that's not just because I Predicted they would be it when Clinton was the lock-in nominee and McCain was lagging behind all of his compatriots. I am happy because both men are not the conventional nominees of their parties, and they are more interested in creating common ground with the other side's voter bloc than they are in pandering to their base. Ok, now that we got that out of the way, let's actually examine them a little bit.

In my house , right now, I have the electoral programs for both Obama and McCain, and reading them has provided me with hours of constant amusement. McCain's program is under the impression that the world is great and everything is fine and dandy, and all we really have to do is to bomb a couple more areas in the world (a bomb here, a couple there) and all will be well with the world again. I personally love it, but that's because I am Pro-Death and would welcome anything that would bring the world's population down a notch, but I doubt the rest of you exactly share my sentiment, so, ehh, yeah, bad electoral program, bad! Obama's on the other hand, well, it kinda reads like someone's sophomore year college term paper on "the joys of socialism". It's nice, it's sweet, it's humane, it's unrealistic bullshit. Oh, and if you would like to challenge that world view, please inform me how this man intends to both balance the budget ( with its huge deficit) and implement Universal Healthcare (which any idiot would tell you wouldn't exactly Or, if you are suffering from the shitty deal you got from your healthcare provider and you don't care how this gets financed, explain to me again how he will "convince" the Businesses that left the US for China or India to come back to the US, where they will have to pay both higher taxes AND labor costs, plus whatever new taxes he intends to raise to finance your healthcare. Ok, now back to McCain for a second.

Now, a lot of people will think this is a post to make McCain look good on the expense of Obama, but unfortunately, I am going to have to disappoint those idiots this time as well. McCain, whom I love and respect and adore and [add verbs that signify liking someone, ad infinitum] is not going to win. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. He is not going to win because the Party really isn't backing him- if they did they might have advised him to get something resembling an economic plan. Nope, the republicans are doing the same thing the democrats did in 2004 on for, just putting on a good show. Nothing is in the favor of this man: the base hates him cause he is secular, his views on the war are incredibly unpopular with middle- America right now, he has a wife whose history- once put out on display in the general election- will make Michelle Obama look like the Saint she ain't (For those of you who don't know, Cindy kinda started an Charity Organization to provide drugs for African children, and then was caught stealing from those drugs for her personal use), and last, but not least, the age thing. Not to mention, with absolute democratic majorities in both the house and senate, he would be a lame-duck President from day one, and nothing would ever get done. I like McCain, and would've rather seen him win in 2000 than Bush, but he is not going to win this one either. So now, we have to prepare ourselves to the future monumental failure of the Obama Presidency, no? Oh wait, you don't agree, do you? Well, that's what the post title was all about. Ok, fine, I guess I am going to have to go into detail to why exactly I believe that Obama will fail.

You see, if you ask any Obama supporter, they will tell you that they are supporting the man because he gives them hope. Now, Oscar Wilde once said that the basis of all hope is fear, and I intend to agree with Wilde on that one. So what exactly are the Obama supporters afraid of? Well, it's really simple, after 8 years of Bush, and of having the government repeatedly inform them that they are living in a threatening world that doesn't like them (which, by the way, is true, and it disliked them during Clinton's presidency too I may add) and that they are going to have to hunker down, get though and prepare to fight this for the long haul, they are afraid that this is really the way the world is. Enter Obama, who tells them in all kinds of inspiring fashion that this isn't necessarily true, that the world isn't really dangerous and that all we need to do is to talk to one another, and then all will be well in the world and we will all sing Kumbaya together. So, desperate and clinging to anything, they believe him, because the alternative is so scary, so stressful and depressing, that they may have to up their Zoloft dosage , and anti-depressants are really expensive nowadays.

Not to mention, Americans really want the world to like them, which is a silly desire shared by no other nation on earth. You don't see the Russians worrying about the world liking them, or the Chinese. Ok, you want a democracy? How about the French? Do you see the French worrying about whether or not the world likes them? Do you know of any other nation in the world who actually has this stupid girl-with-low-self-esteem-in- junior-high fixation? Hell, even the Israelis, arguably the current most hated country in the world (and who would like a nation of militaristic Jews who refuse to be wiped out? Those Damn Jooz!), are not as fixated on getting the world to like them the way the Americans do, because most of them have resigned themselves that the world really never will like them. So yeah, the Americans stand alone when it comes to that silly desire, and they have constructed a notion why the world dislikes them: It's because the world thinks that they are a racist nation that is also prejudiced against Islam. So, in order to remedy that, they vote and nominate a Black man with an arab middle-name who comes from a Muslim Background, as if saying, "Here! This is how far we all willing to go. Do you like us now?"

And the world will answer: Ehh, no, not really!

There are those who will argue with this, citing great support for Obama all over Europe and the world. True, but that's because he is the Anti-Bush, an articulate black man who says he doesn't want war. The world would love fuckin Gary Coleman if he was the person who said this after 8 years of Bush. Plus, the world is excited for the Obama presidency because they view it as some sort of novelty, the black man who became President after all of the country's history of slavery. Americans forget that thanks to their endless stream of movies and TV shows that have addressed the history and extent of racism in the US, we all know the backstory and the struggles and Rosa Parks and Malcom X and MLK and all of this fun stuff. So, really, it's like watching a 250 year old movie where one character keeps getting screwed over and finally, through a lot of fighting, becomes President. Oh Happy Ending. We love Happy endings. What we didn't wrap our head around yet is that this isn't a movie. There is no Fade to Black after Obama takes office. He actually becomes the President and executer of policies. He will become a symbol of the country people love to hate, and this won't exactly end because he is a smooth talking good looking black guy. It's a ncie fantasy, but let's get real here. There are too many people who have vested interest in hating the US and always will hate it, no matter who the fuck runs it. Now let's examine this notion a little.

Unarguably , Obama's number one foreign policy objective is to get things right with the arab and muslim world. And that's when you are going to watch the best circus in the world, because no a single leader, in the arab or the muslim world, really wants to get right with the US. Hell, our rulers have justified their entire existence in power by positioning themselves as opposed to America . They continue , in their state-sponsored media, to point fingers at the US and go " See, those bloodthirsty Americans. They will kill you all, rape all of your women and drink the blood of your babies, if we are not here to protect you. So eat shit and shut up!", and If you think I am exaggerating please check Egypt, Syria, Iran, Yemen, etc.. etc.. Those people have built their entire rule on that whole notion, you think they are going to give that up because the silly Americans voted for a 40-something inexperienced Black dude? Get real! And in terms of the arab and muslim street, let's not forget that their number one issue has always been Israel. Now, do you think Obama will go against Israel, after watching him kissing for hours AIPAC ass? Ha. So yeah, that will be a disappointment also. Not to mention that Obama won't withdraw from Iraq. He won't. He can't. At best he will do a partial withdrawal, while leaving a good chunk of US soldiers there. But bring all the troops home? Not gonna happen. And that's what the arab and muslim street wants, no? Let's not even contemplate the notion for a second that he is serious about going after Pakistan, like he said over and over again. Yeah, the Obama foreign policy will be- in the words of the great Borat- GREAT SUCCESS! I am sure.

Oh, and I am sure that once he gets elected that the Islamists will warm up to him immediately. You know, because there is nothing that Islamists like more than a former born- muslim who chose, by his own accord, to become a Christian and an active one at that. Yeah, I am sure they will be very impressed, and quit fighting the US immediately. After all, he said that he intends to deliver a speech from a muslim nation in his first 100 days of office. Yeah, that kind of pandering really calms islamists down, especially coming from apostates. And they will surely respect him if he withdraws partially from Iraq, and not mistake it as a sign of weakness or that they are winning or anything. And since we are on the topic, can you imagine what will happen if a terrorist attack took place during the Obama Presidency, after he does all of this? Can you imagine how America will feel, when they realize that even after they voted for the Blackman with Arab middle name and Muslim background who gave a speech during his first 100 days in a muslim nation, that the world still hates them and that Islamists still want to kill them? Talk about a rude awakening. And can you imagine if they do demand a response from Obama, and Obama decides to take off the Dove hat and put the Hawk one on? Do I have to remind you how things went the last time a Dove tried to be a Hawk? Olmert and Peretz (who both, may I remind you , ran on the platform of withdrawing from the Westbank) during the Lebanon war, anyone? Ok, how about Carter and the rescue mission in Iran? How about Clinton in Somalia? We getting the picture? Should be a fantastic fun time for everyone involved.

But let's say you are the kind of American who doesn't care about all that, like this silly American chic I met here a week ago, who told me that "the basis of hope is hope" and "I really don't care if your people like us, I just want to be proud of my country again!". Ok, fair enough. So one would assume you are supporting Obama for domestic policy reasons. That you believe that he will clean Washington from the Special Interests and the lobbying and all that Jazz he has been talking about, and implements his "Socialism is fun" electoral program, aided surely, by the fact that the House and the Senate looks like it will tilt in favor of the democrats again this year, finally giving them full majority in both the house and Senate. I am sure he will be able to cut out the special interests and implement his policies in a Jiffy, right? Ehh, nope. Because even if he is not beholden to special interests- which I am not sure is exactly true-every single politician in the House and the Senate is, and they kinda like their seats. Not to mention, about half of the democrats who won in 2006 were Pro-War, Pro-Guns, Anti-Abortion democrats- i.e. confused republicans- who will undoubtedly, given how they are now fully in power, start fighting amongst themselves in earnest, the way the democrats always do. And if you don't believe me, check 1992, the first Clinton Presidential term. It's the Same shit. Charismatic unlikely democrat in the white house after 12 years of republican rule, bridled with unrealistic expectations of a starved political base who somehow expected him to miraculously solve all of their problems in the first 100 days, and had the majorities in the House and the Senate to pull it off. But he didn't. He couldn't. The Democrats were too busy fighting amongst themselves, and he was too busy trying to be a centrist and work with an institution that wouldn't work and all the hopes, dreams and expectations evaporated by the end of his first year in office. But yeah, I am sure the Obama first term will be different, because, like, he is Black. Oh, and a Washington outsider. Yes, that's the kind of person who can get things done in Congress, no doubt! But I digress, when I think of Obama, I don't think of Clinton. At the end of the day, everyone knew that Clinton would play Ball and isn't exactly driven by his own ideological view and belief in his own goodness. Nahh, when I think Obama, one name really comes to mind: Carter!

Obama is the second coming of Carter, there is no doubt about it. From the way he took over the party, to the election against an uncharismatic standard-bearer opponent in the elections, to his belief that America is bad, and it's all America's fault anyway, and that all that is necessary to make everything work is appeasement and humility, and oh, let's try to fix are suffering economy by implementing socialist ideas. So yeah, if you are reading this and you remember those days, then please brace yourself, because it's gonna suck again for the next four years. But don't fret, there is a bright side to this, because remember, after Carter came Reagan. And maybe that's what America needs right now. To experiment with Obama to see if there is any truth to his fiction. If there is, sweet, I am not gonna hate, but there likely isn't, and that will be the necessary wake-up call that half of the US have been needing for the past 4 years. That's what it's gonna take: a colossal presidential failure of the size of Carter (whose approval ratings, by the way, make Bush's look really high, believe it or not), to get the US back into thinking about how to deal with their problems, instead of pretending they don't exist.

That being said, I will feel bad for Obama when this eventually happens though, because unlike every other President before him, Obama isn't just running as himself, he is running as the Black Candidate, so when he fails, it's not just him that will be looked upon as a failure, but his race with him. The nice white people of America will congratulate themselves when he is elected for no longer being a racist nation (they did elect a black man after all) and when he fails they probably wouldn't run another Black candidate for President for another 30 years or so. Not to mention, after Obama, being a black candidate won't be a big deal anymore. The novelty would've worn off, and the candidates will be assessed based on their experience and their plans, instead of just being an inspiring notion whose time has come as a Black Man for President of the USA. I hope this wouldn't be the case, but, ehh, I doubt it!

The Special candidate

Hillary wasn't only the first woman with a strong chance of being nominated for President, as Hitchens reminds us:

Posterity may well remember the Hillary Clinton campaign as the nearest
that a member of the female gender had thus far gotten to the
nomination of a major political party. But the episode will be recalled
for many other salient features as well. The first time that the wife
of an ex-president had leveraged her first-lady status into a
senatorial seat and then a bid for the presidency. The first time that
the candidate's spouse (and campaigner in chief) was a person who had
been disbarred for perjury and impeached for—among other
things—obstruction of justice. The first time since the 1960s that a
Democrat seeking the nomination had implicitly relied on a "Southern
strategy" of appealing to the rancor of the "white working class." The
first time since the lachrymose Ed Muskie that a candidate's eyes had
welled up with tears in New Hampshire. The first time that a woman
candidate was married to a man who had been believably accused of rape
and sexual harassment.
The first time that a candidate had said of her half-African-American
rival that he was not a member of the Muslim faith "as far as I know."
The first time that the loser in the delegate count had failed to
congratulate or even acknowledge the winner on the night of his
historic victory.

But please remember, she lost because she was a woman. Oh, and white. 

Obama and Affirmative Action

* This convo happened between me and my American friend E, right around the time Obama clinched the nomination, but before he ruined things by kissing AIPAC ass*

Me: So Obama finally won the nomination. No more Hillary.

E: About damn time. 

Me: True. Now, I have a question: Can affirmative action be used By Obama in this election?

E: Shut it.

Me: No, for real.. i mean he is applying for a job, and it's him versus a white dude. Does he get extra votes for being black?

E: Dude, you are being stupid. Shut up!

Me: Ok, fine, but what if he and McCain split the electoral college votes equally, does he then get some extra votes? 

E: NO. He wouldn't, and you know it. Stop it!

Me: Ok, fine. Seriously now. If Obama wins, is there still an argument for affirmative action? I mean, if he wins the majority of the votes, then it could be argued that the majority of the country isn't racist, right? And if this is the case, then the racists have become a minority, so a government policy to combat nationwide racism against Blacks- with the presence of a Black President in Office- would no longer be necessary, no?

E: Nope, you are wrong!

Me: How do you figure? 

E: Because he is not the descendant of slaves.

Me: HA!!

E: He is not Black. He is African.

Me: You know, I could actually see this argument being used and working!

E: Of course it would.

Me: Only in America, ehh?

E: God Bless it!

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