Archive of ‘cause I care’ category

Mugabe, I am confused!

Ok, Mugabe, out of curiosity: If you are going to arrest your opponent in the upcoming election and his second man in charge, Impound the buses he uses to campaign in the country, send hired killers against Human Rights activists, and state that the opposition will never govern in your lifetime and that you would rather go to war than cede power to them even if they did win , then..ehh…why even have an election? Why go through all of that trouble? Or are you just doing it for attention, you attention-whore you?

Regular service will be resumed shortly

Disclaimer: Dear readers, this is simply my response to S&H post about me. If you think the whole thing is stupid, and who could blame you, then please ignore this and await my Obama post, and why him winning might actually be the best thing to happen for the American right. If you wanna read it anyway, be my guest, but don't you dare complain. You've been warned!

Holy Cow!

I didn't know that my post on you would cause such debate in your comments section, even though the word "debate" might be an exaggeration to what's going on here. Either way, Upon finding this, I figured why not respond to what's being said and all? I mean, even Amy Mowafi responded (more on that in a second) so I guess I should put my two cents in as well.

Now, the first thing I've noticed about your post is the parts you edited from mine. And while I can understand you taking away the references to the other two blogs, there is one line you removed from the final paragraph in that post, and I guess you removing it says volumes about you and your intellectual honesty. Here it is:

"No one cares. And if you truly live in Cairo and know the intrusive nature of its people, then you would know that most people would love to go anywhere without being seen or heard by 10 people that know them."

Now, why would you remove that specific sentence dear S&H? Any specific reason? Or is it because you know how true it is, and it just hit too close to home? Oh, I wonder.

Now , that aside, I am glad that you are doing this as a business venture, and not because you lead some empty existence where your only entertainment is the lives of others. Although, I am not really sure how this Business model operates exactly. Do people actually pay you to write stuff about them? If that's the case, how "hot" and "happenin" could they be? Does that mean that everything you post about is paid advertisement? Does that include your opinions as well? I am just asking because I have encountered a poor soul whose main beef with you was that you never mentioned her, and maybe if you guys are for sale, she could buy your love or attention, or something. But then again, what kind of socialite gets bought? What kind of Socialite needs money?

As for your questions, emm, let's see. Age: 27. Interests: Many many many things. Why do I hate people like you with social lives: Ehh..whomever said I was hating on you for your social life? Do you really think I care who you meet or hang out with or totally loathe? And do you really think that where you go is soo exclusive? I've been to every place you go to, I know every single one of your friends and we probably even drank together. But the main difference between you and me is this: I have this strange tendency to actually have fun when I go out. Yes, for real. Wanna know something crazier? If it's not going to be fun, I just don't go out. Yeah, really! That concept, for some reason, is lost on most of you, who go to Jazz club on Wednesdays (Or 35 on Fridays, and let's not forget La Bodega the rest of the freakin week, except Thursday of course, because that's when the bee2ah people go out) because it's the thing to do and "what else are we gonna do? Stay home?". And you go out with the same people as the night before, you discuss the same topics you discussed the time before and you spend lots of money on drinks that don't end up even getting you drunk or buzzed and you go home mabdoneen because your life is so very fuckin boring, and you go to bed counting the days until you head to Hacienda to "have some real parties", with, surprise surprise, the same people you meet in cairo, only this time everyone is showing off the results of the latest plastic surgery they've had. So no, this isn't the rant of some social recluse who is envious of you. There is nothing to envy there.

I am not even gonna address the Paulo Coelho issue. You've done a fine job on that one all by yourself.

Now, allow me to quote one of your posts, to show you why exactly you do piss me off. This is a post you wrote a couple of days ago, and I believe the topic was about "social climbers". Hmm, let's dissect that one for a second, shall we?

"You see them at La Bodega…35…AND Sangria, ALL IN ONE NIGHT!! They are called…THE SOCIAL CLIMBERS."

Color me confused, but isn't it true that in order for you to see them, don't you too have to be there at those 3 places that same night?

Now, what are the other signs of social climbers?

"The one's who say hi to anyone and everyone…"

Oh no, you mean they are being nice to people? How dare they?

"then you'll need to understand that we won't consider you "cool" if we know you been to every hot spot..and hung out till unearthly hours"

Ok, so the S&H rules in order for you not to be categorized as a social climber are: Don't go to three places in one night and be seen there, unless you are a part of the Scene & Heard Clique, because they are exempted from that rule. Don't be nice or say hi to people; sneer at them, growl if possible! And don't stay up late in one place. A good socialite leaves the party while it's happening, not when it's over, because the ones who stay till the end are losers, and they end up being stuck with the check (double losers). Did I get that right?

You know, I come from old money. Not touting that as an achievement or anything. It's simply a fact. My grandfather was the Egyptian royalty, my grandmother is such an old and known "socialite" (back when the term had something to do with charitable work and love for this country), whose donation to charity is now estimated to be worth billions and who actually has a square in Heliopolis named after her. She raised me, and she thought me the difference between old money and the nouveau riche. You know what the difference is? Manners. Old money comes with manners. You are polite to all people, and you never have to make a scene, because you know who you are and where you come from. New money, on the other hand, have inferiority complexes: so they mistreat their maids, they insult the wait-staff, and they act snobbish, haughty and rude to people, and they say shit like "entah 3aref entah betkalem meen?", because they believe (from watching bad TV shows and movies) that this is the way you act if you are from the upper-class. Only a true nouveau riche social climber would care about who they are seen talking to in clubs, who shows there, and how they will look in the eyes of others. Old money doesn't give a crap about that, but they will see fit to remind the nouveau riche of their place if they do cross the line. That's all there is to it.

Now, I don't know which are you, nor do I care that much. But you should know that the attitude you are exporting is that of the nouveau riche, and god forbid you guys get labeled as that. As for anyone who is reading this and actually wishes to be considered a socialite, well, my dear friends, it's really much easier and simpler than they portray it here. You wanna be a socialite? Well, it's really really easy. All you really need are two things: 1) Money, and 2) Time to waste. Because trust me, you will waste a lot of time and money getting in, and you will waste even more the moment you are in. Don't worry, they will let you in their circles, because they are bored of each other more than they would like to admit, even to themselves.

As for Amy, well, my beef with her book is very simple: Being a single woman at her late twenties is not an achievement, nor is her stating that she doesn't care how that makes society views her makes her a rebel and someone who breaks down walls. It's simply the case of society placing retarded rules and norms on girls and women, and the key word here is retarded. Not following retarded rules doesn't make you a rebel; it simply means you are not retarded. Congratulations, here is a cookie. The fact that the majority of other girls in Egypt seem to obey and follow those rules still doesn't make you a rebel; it just means that they are…let's say it together…RETARDED. There you go. Now you get it. There are very good reasons to like or even admire Amy: She is a strong and independent woman who managed to make a name for herself in the world of magazines and writing. Bragging about giving her mom ulcers because she "still hasn't found a good man" isn't one of them, because quite frankly, if your mom, after all that you have achieved, still looks at you as an incomplete object because you haven't found a suitable Penis to marry, well, then maybe she does deserve that ulcer. Not wishing your mother harm or anything Amy, Just saying.

And finally, yeah, god forbid I would be considered a socialite, especially if it means abiding by the set of rules and behavior that are being advocated here. The Socialite scene is filled with people who will swear up and down that the movie "Cruel Intentions" was "like, totally, my highschool" and who seem to think that "Mean girls" was an accurate portrayal of the struggles they face in their social life. Yeah. Not me. It wouldn't necessarily be "haram", mainly because I detest people who even remotely use that term to justify anything, but it would suck being lumped in that group, mainly because of their intellectual level. It really would.

So this is the end of that S&H, and you can make of this what you wish. I am glad that I have given you more traffic, and if that's how you make your money, then please send me my cut. This is, after all, a business venture, no? As for your generous offer to write for you, I would have to respectfully decline. Nothing personal. Just don't have the time to keep up with every little thing the people in your circle of friends do. Best of luck with that!

For the retarded amongst you

I have tolerated the existence of the Scene and Heard blog for a while now, mainly because I think that the crowd they target don't really read or are big Paulo Coelho fans (same thing), so for them to read anything, well, that's just a positive thing. They are the same people I hated hanging out with right after I came back, whose topic of conversations range from who got photographed in what magazine, who married/left/cheated on/sleeps with who and debating the color yellow. Riveting shit, I tell ya. I kept my distance but didn't really hate them, because that's like hating a retard for making stupid decisions.I mean, they are fans of Amy Mowafi for god's sake, so they can't really be blamed for their choices in life. They simply don't know any better.

However, they did join my shit list when they actually lead to the spawning of other egyptian gossip blogs, mainly two that got sent to me today and immediately made my blood boil. The first one targets AUC students, and it's called "Gossip Girl in AUC". Yes,after the CW show targeting 12 year old girls. Seriously. They even do the whole "XOXO" shit at the end. I keep trying to think of ways to insult them, but, why bother? I would be wasting brain cells. There is an actual post about how the writer heard someone say "that's huge? how did you manage that?" and the really funny punchline is, they were talking about a bubble gum. No, for real. Can you believe it? It's Crazzzyyyyyy!!!!!!

And then for those of you who go to the second rate GUC, well, they have one for you as well, and it's called GUC Insider. Now, I am actually quite impressed by that one, because it managed to suck more than the Gossip Girl one (oh gossip girl, I said suck, imagine? That's soo funny. Giggle and blush), which I think is quite the achievement. And the sad thing is, the writer of that one quit, not because he found out that he is a lame writer, but because the GUC people got mad at him. For real. They actually got offended and thought he should discontinue. Thank you GUCians. You are not as lame as everyone says you are.

So yes, S&H, I blame YOU for this. This shit didn't happen until you people came along with your fantastic posts about nothing and people only you know and care about. I get that you attacked those other gossip blogs yourself, but that's not enough. You people have to repent or something for the shit you unleashed on the unsuspecting population. Think of the innocent bystanders. Some people who actually have a brain might stumble upon your website one day without being warned about its nature beforehand -unlike me- and end up getting a brain aneurysm from the your self-congratulating masturbatory so called writing. So please, stop, before anyone gets hurt. Think of the Children who will read this shit and actually think that being a socialite is, like, important. Because it's not. No one cares. And if you truly live in Cairo and know the intrusive nature of its people, then you would know that most people would love to go anywhere without being seen or heard by 10 people that know them. But then again I am talking about people with no insecurities and who don't give a fuck about whatever spring-fling- fuck-me-I-am-famous shit party your faggy metrosexual friends throw and invite you to next. So you might not relate. Nevermind.  

The Game is on

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People who read this blog know that I am not the most enthusiastic supporter of today's protest for both political reasons , and for the fact that I am not quite sure what it would achieve. It's hard to take a protest seriously that gives u the choice between being apathetic or participating by staying at home and doing nothing. However, the government seems to be taking it very seriously, so maybe I should to, especially that they arrested Malek and a number of activists yesterday, forcing a number of other bloggers and activists to spend last night in any other place but their homes. I just took a cab ride to Dowtown and the streets are crawling state security and they are stopping young men who are walking by themselves on the streets and checking their ID's and forcing them to get off the streets as soon as possible. 

On the other hand, the government is going for an entire media blitz to stop the strike: The cover of government mouthpieces AlAhram and Al Akhbar are filled with headlines that both deny the existance of any strike , following the line of "What strike? That's just a bunch of hype started by a number of illegal and shady movements and individuals who want to ruin the country!", and yet detail the amounts of legal punishment and trouble that anyone who participates in a strike would receive "Losing your job, Fines, 3 months to a year in prison, being on the government's shit list forever, etc..etc..". Uber government presswhore RoseAlYusef published a headline asking people to calm down, go to work and not worry because everything is working fine and there is no strike , and life is rosy. In Rosealyusef's world, reality is what you make it, which must work really well for them.

The interesting thing is, no one knows really which political powers are with or behind this protest. I mean sure, AlWasat, and alKarama parties are in, and so is whomever is representing Kefaya these days, and some factory workers. The Muslim Brotherhood have announced they won't participate, but they are supporting the protest "with their hearts", whatever the fuck that means. The Pro-government other parties like Egypt;s Youth and the conservative party and their many counterparts are all saying that they support freedom of expression, but are against such shady political stunts that achieve nothing and only hurt the country. The Democratic Front, the Nasserite party are in solidarity with the strike, while Al Tagamo3 and the Wafd party are not joining because "they weren't invited to join" (Awwww……). And Al Ghad , on the other hand, enjoys the most unique position of being For and Anti the strike at the same time, thanks to the fact that there are two factions claiming to represent it now: The Musa faction, which is anti joining, and the Ayman Nour faction, which is all about joining, and naturally AlAhram quotes Musa , while Al Masry Al Youm quotes Gamila Ismael, Nour's wife! It's beautiful!

As far as the people go, they have various reactions: Nawarah Negm's maid thinks that the people will destroy the Bread Bakeries, Haisam tells a story about the driver of his friends' father who is striking today, because he believes that the strike is against the Dutch Fitna movie, the Taxi drivers I took eysterday and today assure me that they have heard of the strike and that people are all worried about it, because whomever doesn't show up to work today will go to jail, even if they were sick. He also told me that the local souq (markets) were open till midnight last night, with people buying lots of goods in anticipation for today. Many of the private schools, afraid of…ehh..I don't know..something..have canceled schools today, and thus the streets of Cairo are empty this morning. Al Dustour newspaper is also reporting that Egyptian movie Star Ahmed ElSaqqah is joining the protest by halting production of his new movie for the day. Saqqa the revolutionary. Who knew?

Anyway, the people behind the strike have created a special blog to document it (can be found here ), and are urging the people on the streets to send their pictures, posts and stories to them , using this e-mail 6april08@gmail.com. They even have a hotline: 0118361000 or 0119423496, so don't hesitate to call it. if you witness something, even if you don;t agree with the protest or the ideology behind it. Look at it the way I look at it: It's a way to flip off the government who won't just allow protesting in the streets, but won't allow people to stay home either. It's the least we can do, no?

Update: They have also arrested Mohamed Sharkawy and Kefaya's leader Mohamed Al Ashqar from their homes, and they have arrested Mustapha Khalil at a Fabric shop in Al Mansoura, out of fear that he might purchase fabrics that could be sued to make protest banners. Oh yeah!

Update: ALMahalla strike is canceled. I repeat, Al Mhalla strike is canceled. All Eyes are now on Al Tahrir square! 

Update: Just spoke to Jano at Mahalla. It seems that Mohamed Al Attar and the other strike leaders had reached some kind of compromise over "food allowance" that prompted them to cancel the strike. The other leaders who didn't want to cancel the strike, like Karim Al Bheery, are reportedly sieged into their offices and not allowed to leave or talk to the workers or do anything. 

Update: Mohamed Abdel Kuddous got literally kidnapped in Downtwon while buying a newspaper. And yes, it is Mohamed Al Sharkawy- from Mlameh publishing- who got arrested from his finace's house in Sheikh Zayed. The Fun just keeps on rolling! 

Update: Kafr Al Dawar workers also abandoned the strike plans, proving once again that egyptian political activists excel at nothing but creating hype. Sweet!

Update: We can probably spin this as a success if we want to. It will go something like this:  This call for people to stay at home was so successful no one went to the streets and protested! 

Update: People, don't despair! We are victims of our own success. Our campaign to keep people at home was so successful, that no one showed to the protests. Really, we should be applauding ourselves. Job well done people, Job well done!

Update: A demonstration erupted next to the Lawyers sydnicate. The Police is trying to squash it and isn't allowing anyone access inside the syndicate's building!