The Akon Cairo concert disaster!

So, here I am, preparing for my trip back to Cairo, when people start sending me messages and e-mails about The Akon concert in the Cairo Opera. Now, I didn't know he was singing in Cairo to begin with, let alone fathom the concept of whose bright idea was it that this man should be allowed to sing in the Egyptian Opera..but whatever. My people are silly, and they do irrational shit like allow Akon into the Opera House. Anyway..

The news is however that the concert was a very rare breed of disaster, which makes my heart just sing a little bit. The man was slated to show up at 9 M, but showed up at 1 am instead; The people who paid 1000 LE per VIP ticket ended up being sent to the Hospital because the VIP Lounge collapsed before the show even begun; He shows up finally all drunk, sings for half an hour, and then attempts to do some crowd surfing(very bad idea), and then he starts calling for help in his mic because the crowd apparently kidnaps him and take him all the way to the parking lot and then put him on a car, which he ends up destroying and then ends the concert… Yeah… Sounds like a great time.

Now, I wasn't there, but if you were, please share your view of the disaster in the comments section, because that shit sounds positively hilarious! 

Damn you Carrie Fisher!

There goes that golden Bikini Fantasy. Yep, totally shot to shit!

Now, about that sordid relationship she is having with Jabba the Hut..

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Dildo shopping

Cause that's what you do once you are done with Highschool musicals!

I heart Disney!

Ask Alec Baldwin

Hey people,

I am having a Q&A session with none other than Alec Baldwin next week, which should be interesting to say the least (I will be trying really hard not to scream " You are worthress Arrec Bardwin" to his face every 2 minutes. God Help me I want to soo bad!). That being said, since y'all have been patient with me and all, if you do have a question of your own that you want to ask the leader of F.A.G., please leave it in the comment section and I will pick the best two questions and give them to the man to his increasingly round face.

Oh, and by the way, I am still blogging over there. Come over and make some noise! 

David Duchovny enters rehab for sex addiction

I am shocked. SHOCKED. People have sex with David Duchovny? For real?

Joy to the WORLD!

VERNE TROYER HAS A SEX TAPE. Mini-Me has a sex tape. with his girlfriend. Who is tall, not very tall, normal sized really, but a giant in Verne standards. AWESOME. I wanna see it. Does anyone know where I can download it? You think he uses his whole arm? I am a perv, I know, but goddamn it, human midgit celebrity sex. Now that's must-see TV! Fuck you Highschool Musical. Fuck you! 

Paris Hilton trying to bellydance

Try not to point while laughing…

Charlotte is a Harlot

Kristen Davi- from Sex and the City- has a sex tape out there. Here is a completely totally NSFW picture from the film. You were warned!

DMX on Obama

THIS IS PRICELESS!

Who wants a fantasy with Vincent Gallo?

You do, well, he has a price for you:

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as

Buffalo 66 and

The
Brown Bunny
have decided to make myself available to all women.
All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000
plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally
born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those
who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to
a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can
have me if they can pay the bill.

Even black chicks? Oh Gallo, you are so kind!

However,
female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening
together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend
that will have them second-guessing.

Second guessing what? Their gullibility?

As for those who would want to always have a piece of Gallo with them all the time, well, that will cost you 1 million dollars, and quite possibly a ruined life forever:

Vincent Gallo's Sperm

$1,000,000.00


Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro
fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro
fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical
costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for
as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and
successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr.
Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the
sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an
additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented
detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to
waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm
itself.

and why would you pay this much, you would say? Well…

Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well
aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into
the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all
creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning
several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and
hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle
racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known
genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of
congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the
potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like
his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance
the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. 

WOW! 

Angelina Jolie has a brain

I am impressed!

Today's humanitarian crisis in Iraq — and the potential
consequences for our national security — are great. Can the United
States afford to gamble that 4 million or more poor and displaced
people, in the heart of Middle East, won't explode in violent
desperation, sending the whole region into further disorder?

What
we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been
made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance.
UNHCR has appealed for $261 million this year to provide for refugees
and internally displaced persons. That is not a small amount of money
– but it is less than the U.S. spends each day to fight the war in
Iraq. I would like to call on each of the presidential candidates and
congressional leaders to announce a comprehensive refugee plan with a
specific timeline and budget as part of their Iraq strategy.

As
for the question of whether the surge is working, I can only state what
I witnessed: U.N. staff and those of non-governmental organizations
seem to feel they have the right set of circumstances to attempt to
scale up their programs. And when I asked the troops if they wanted to
go home as soon as possible, they said that they miss home but feel
invested in Iraq. They have lost many friends and want to be a part of
the humanitarian progress they now feel is possible.

It seems to
me that now is the moment to address the humanitarian side of this
situation. Without the right support, we could miss an opportunity to
do some of the good we always stated we intended to do.

May your common sense become infectious! 

Clooney in Jelly Beans

Roba will love this!

Women in Film

This is a fantastic sideshow of famous Hollywood female actresses over the years. Funny how very few things change!

Mona Zaki takes on Turk & Sabaya Cafe

CAT FIGHT!

The new Joker is dead

Heath Ledger is dead. The guy from 10 things I hate about you. The dude from Brokeback Mountain. The new Joker. Drugs suck ass!

Doing Cartwheels

Adnan is wearing a cross . This piece of news is not true. Britney is not gonna convert to ISLAM. WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..Thank you Jeebus!

In other news, can AlArabiya stop making up shit? They are starting to look really bad.

Britney Spears may convert to Islam

Oh Joy…

U.S. pop star Britney Spears is allegedly so in
love with her new Muslim man she's considering converting to Islam to
marry him, British press reports revealed.

Spears, 26, and paparazzi boss Adnan Ghalib, 35, have been together for
around two-weeks, sparking huge media attention about her questionable
mental health and his real intentions.

 

The
couple claim to be very much in love and the troubled star's friends
have reportedly said that she is so in love with him that she plans to
marry him and convert to Islam, the UK's News of The World (NOTW)
reported.

And how is his family taking it?

NOTW also revealed that Ghalib's Sunni Muslim family in Birmingham are so horrified by his antics they have disowned him.

One family member told the paper: "His parents are devastated. This
week his dad gave him an ultimatum, ‘Give up Britney, or you are dead
to me,' which Adnan ignored."

Now that is a good father. Leave the stupid impressionable multi million dollar worth star who jumped in your car when her car broke down and then fucked you thus making you her new boyfriend despite being a paparazzi (i.e. a bloodsucking leech) or else you are no longer my son. Yeah, he will listen to that. Altough I have to admit, I am a little jealous: no stupid slutty multimillionare celebrity chick has ever jumped into my car, slept with me and demanded that I become her boyfriend. Not that I find Britney attractive or anything or would sleep with her willingly. It's just that she is an international celebrity, and I would totally do it for Egypt! Cause, you know, I am a patriot. A totally self-less patriot!

Paris Hilton might have to work

 
 Booooo hooooo

Big Daddy Hilton has pledged over 97% of the Family fortune to Charity, so now the Hiltons will be kicked to the curb, no thanks to Paris' shananigans. Now, Paris and Nicky might have to start getting real jobs and like, ehh, work for a living. But what would she do exactly? It's not like she ever went to college or anything. I vote for Paris Hilton: Life Coach. Follow Paris' teachings and Life's Philosophy and have her introduce hotness in your life. That or she can continue her career as a pornstar. What do you think? What should be Paris Hilton's real Life Job?

Please leave your suggestions in the comment section. The girl needs our guidance!

Poor Matt Dillon

I suspect, after reading this, that he will never ever visit the Cairo International Film Festival again.

Britney Spears’s sister is pregs

The young Spears is definitely following the footsteps of older sis, cause one Spears reproducing isn't enough. In other news, the book their mother was about to release on christian parenting? Yeah, totally not gonna get published ! But they are not going broke anytime soon though: Mommy and daughter sold the story to OK magazine for 1 million dollars. Christian Family Values indeed!