A prayer answerd

Ben Affleck said that he has found his true calling in directing movies , and he even said that the central preoccupation in his life right now is finding his next movie to direct. This could mean that we might never have to see Ben Affleck in movies ever again.

WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Now let's hope Colin Ferrell follows suit. 

Britney Spears is seriously desperate

No longer a virgin, no longer a novelty, no longer the pop princess who can't sing, but who is so hot we all ignored it. She is now the divorced mother of two who is going through the worst public meltdown since Lindsey Lohan's face started gracing magazine covers. So she resorts to the one thing she can do really well: Strip. In an attempt to be shocking and daring, Brit decides that what she needs to do is to embrace her white-trash public image some more, and film a music video where she strips with a pole and shows off her naked breasts for all to see. Newsflash babe: they are not nearly enough to resurrect your career. Plus, aren't you still breastfeeding? What the hell is wrong with you?

Take a vacation sweetie. Please!

Seth Green vs. Chris Crocker

Chris Crocker is the dude whose video crying plea on youtube for the world to "leave britney alone" has garnerd him instant internet celebrity status, and well, the mocking of almost everybody and their mother. Thankfully Seth Green is there for the rescue, and it's awesome! ;)

The Anna Nicole Smith Biopic??

Cause, you know, it's not like you didn't hear of her every day for the past two years and you are not sick from the sound of her name pronounced or anything. No, sure, let's make a biopic!

Altough, honestly, that would make a really freaky movie! It would resemble some David Lynch crap. I am not sure it would be believable. you know? 

Keith Richards snorted his father

Does this count as canibalism?

The Fantastic Clooney

The LA Times has this article protraying George Clooney as this astute political animal and observer. Their proof? Well…

He subscribes to two newspapers and can quote the top political
columnists. He remembers the dialogue from old political debates, and
he does a great impersonation of Democratic strategist James Carville.

Dude, he subscribes to two newspaper. TWO! And he can quote what people say in them too. No wonder the newspaper is impressed. As one of my friends put it, by Hollywood standards that makes him a freakin genius.

Clooney for President anyone? 

No ACM noms for the Dixie Chicks

I guess they ain't ready to make nice either…

you know the world has gone retarded…

…when you watch the news on Anna Nicole Smith's funeral not on Insider or ABC News even, but on BBC news. BBC!!!!

 WTF is going on with that? Is it a slow news season or something? 

Buy Britney’s cut Hair

If you're a retard with a million dollars to spare.

(Wow, that rhymed! Watch out world, I am the next Bubba Sparxx! Should I continue? " you would also get a Bic lighter so blue, and a can of red bull too. wohhoooooo. Middle-East side. Cairo, WHAT????")

Jermain wants Jackson to become muslim

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO. NO! HELL NO. Please dear god NO! We don't need anymore freaks!

Hey, MJ, why not scientology? Scientology is nice. It has space aliens and shit. You like that, don't you Moonwalker? So stay away from Islam, which has no aliens and promises you lots of women (Double "Ewwwww" for you I am sure), and move towards Scientology, where I am sure Tom Cruise and John Travolta will take you into their bosoms immedietly. Oh god, mental image. Why do I do that to myself? 

Who needs a punchline?

Paris Hilton wants to be taken seriously as an actress!