You done fucked up now, Israel!

Israel has just bombed our side of the border, injuring 2 egyptian officers and 2 Children. Needless to say, this constitutes a very clear violation of the camp David treaty, especially that their planes have been invading our airspace a lot lately. Now, unless Israel wishes for open war with Egypt, and god knows we would be more than justified (and you best not doubt that I would be its first cheerleader) it better BACK THE FUCK OFF of the border. I am not sure what class of idiots comprises the current Israeli adminstration, but goddamn they have exceeded even my expectations by fucking up this big. Unless, of course, they do wish to open an Egyptian front, in which case I will assure them a very long and bloody struggle. We got nothing but people who have nothing better to do than fight Israel and die doing so. So whomever idiot did this, you better off his head and quickly, and you better pray that none of those injured are injured gravely or die, or else you are going to see a shit storm headed your way of magnitude you would not believe.

And Israeli readers, if you think I am exaggerating, remember, I am one of those who don't hate you. Can you imagine what those who do will make of this?

Am I being paranoid?

Maybe it's from being around all of these conspiracy theories all my life, but, hmm..ok..so Tzipi Livny visits Cairo two days before the attack, where we announce that we came to the agreement that no such attack was going to take place. And then the attack takes place, and we naturally keep the border closed, and the arab media jumps all over us and accuse us of knowing about the attack, and being a party in the "Holocaust in Ghaza". Then, Nasrallah comes out and accuses the Egyptian leadership of being in cahoots with the Israelis and demands that the border corssing gets opend up. Then Israeli Newspaper Haaretz publishes a non-sourced report stating that Mubarak told the EU people that Hamas must be defeated and that he is on Israel's side of this war (which today got denied), which of course those specific arab media sources use as proof that Egypt is in cahoots with Israel on this, and call us the new Tripartite agression (completely ignoring the irony that the country that was victim of what is commonly known as the Tripatriate agression was Egypt itself). And then you have Israeli tanks running close to our border, fully knowing that any wrong hit would bring the wall down and flood the Sinai Peninsula with Ghazan. So, in light of all of this, am I being completely paranoid to think we are being set up by all sides? Why does it seem like that everybody is trying to draw us into this and make this- more than anyone else-our problem?

Egypt, the new Superpower!

Ahh, at last, the day of my dreams has finally arrived. The day that set my egyptian patriotic heart aflutter with joy. The day when Egypt- under the wise direction and leadership of our dear leader Hosny Mubarak- has finally ascended to its rightful place and joined the ranks of the World's Super Power club is here, and I am happier than Andrew Sullivan with a bag full of dicks. How do I know that we have reached that monumentous plateau amongst the world's elite? Well, ladies and gentlemen, the signs are all around us. We are getting blamed for all the world's ills, just the like the americans, russians and chinese, we are having our business interests portested against, just like the americans and the brits, we are having our Embassies attacked and our Flags burned, just like the americans and the Israelis, and now, today, I am happy to announce that we have cemented our membership in the super powers club by reaching the final landmark: The posters of our President depicted dead, with open calls for his assissantion, in Iran. 

Ohh yes. The Persian plague has decided that they can not tolerate Egypt's place as the leading regional power any longer, claiming that we are always outshining them and making them look fat, and have set their eyes on taking out the man responsible for our exemplery progress and power: El Presidente Mubarak. Today, in Iran, Forooz Rejaii, the secretary general of the organization titled "Rewarding The Martyrs of the World of Islam" has announced a bounty of one million dollars to whomever assassinates Hosny Mubarak for being just too cool and awesome for them to bear, and also for the whole closing the Rafah crossing thing. And if that is not proof enough for you, checking the picture below out of another protest that took place in Indonesia yesterday should be:

Our very own Mubarak mask. Right next to Olmert and Barak Obama's. HELL YEAH! That's how prominent we have become. We have masks of our leaders made and worn by smelly inhabitants of third world countries. Die from envy, jealous Bitches of the world. Egypt has arrived.

However, we need to be careful, because anyone can become a hated worldly Super Power once, and get its busniesses protested against, embassies stormed and flags burned. Just ask Denmark. They used to matter back in 2006, and now, nobody even rememebrs to hate them anymore. No, we can't be a One-Hate wonder. We can't allow that to happen to us, espeically after we waited so long for it. So, I propose that we start threathening the world to never open the Rafah crossing ever again, and start blackmailing them to do so, and see what we can get out of them for it. That crossing now is a startegic advantage, just the like hormuz crossing is to the jealous fat hairy Iranians, and we should totally capitalize on it to maintain our strategic importance. Let the Haters eat their hearts out.

Give Ghaza to Egypt?

Drima thinks he found the solution to the current crisis, which is to give Ghaza to Egypt, West Bank to Jordan, and call it a day. I am sad to say that Drima is more confused than a blind man in an orgy if he thinks such a solution should even be put on the table. And here is why:

1) It's not anybody's to give anyway!

2)Sure, it used to be our protectorate, until the Israelis took it over in 1967, a nice place where lefty seculars live. Now, they want to return it to us, with islamist militants running the show? Oh, thank you. Do you wanna give us blankets with chickenpox in them as well?

3) If we did end up taking over Ghaza, we will have to clean it from Hamas's presence and disarm the population, which means that we will kill and or arrest at elast about 30,000 people , just in the initial sweep, and we really don;t want palestinian blood on our hands, or like anywhere near us to begin with. So, again, pass.

4) Do you really want the palestinians to enjoy the same "rights and freedoms" that Egyptians have under the blessed Mubarak regime? Really?

Now, while it is a nice way for the Israelis to wash their hands from the mess they created (I am totally awaiting those comments where you tell me that " they are egypt's responsibility". Hey, do they have prozac on your planet? Get some! You need it!), I have to say that I am not fully- or like, at all- on board. Let's face it, Egypt has always been everybody's surrogate Homeland, the place everyone can go to and make their temporary home, as the 4 million sudanese refugees (Hey drima, you wanna take them back?), the 2 million somalian refugees and the half million iraqi refugees we took in the past 5 years will tell you. But that's it. We are a stop on the way at best. We are to a homecountry for others what Tofu is to chicken. We don't give passports and we don't give rights, and honestly, the Ghazan's probably deserve better than this. So, yeah, not big on that idea. God knows that this is partly what is feuling our decision to keep the border clsoed, because we know that at at least 40% of the people living in Ghaza would not want to go back under Hamas's rule if they could, and we fear that they would start refugee camps in Rafah, one that they would refuse to leave. So, yeah, not a good diea Drima. Sorry to disappoint you!

30 thousand egyptians turn out for Officer’s funeral

The funeral of the killed assassinated dead egyptian border officer was attended by 30,000 of his countrymen, who according to al masry alyoum, turned the event into an anti-Hamas rally, shouting anti-Hamas slogans, and rightly stating that his blood is on Hamas' hands. Not that Hamas gives a fuck or anything, or any of its apologists either. Even Zeinobia, whom I usualy disagree with on almost everything except her obvious and admireable egyptian patriotism, is unhappy with the turnout, claiming that the government is using his death as anti-Hamas propaganda, while forgetting that -if that's true- it's only possible because Hamas killed the man in cold blood, while he was protecting the country. She raised the point that the egyptian soldiers killed by a mortar accidently shot by the IDF 2 years ago didn't get similar treatment, while forgetting that those ones were killed accidently, while the one who died just a few days ago was shot with the intent to kill, and is only the latest victim of Hamas routinely attacking our border and the people tasked with defending it when they try to do their jobs. Had Israel pulled even half of this shit, I would be the first person calling for some gold old fashioned egyptian-Israeli war, because then they would be clearly our enemies. Whether we like it or not, Hamas is acting like our enemy, and it's time we treat it as one!

Egyptian Embassy in Yemen stormed by angry mob

The Egyptian Embassy in Yemen was stormed today by angry Ghaza-supporting portestors, who detsoyed its furntiture, set the egyptian flag on fire and then erected the palestinian flag on top of it. This is the second attack on an egyptian embassy within 3 days, with lebanese protestors throwing rocks at the egyptian embassy in Beirut on Sunday. Despite that both attacks do constitute acts of war, we urge you not to blame the protestors, and to please Blame Egypt instead! 

Egyptian Border officer was shot in his office

Oh yeah, rememebr that Egyptian Officer that got killed by Hamas gunmen on the border the other day? It seems that it didn't take place on some sort of a border skrimish, but rather, according to Wael Abbas, was killed in his office, when he refused to give up his post. I would like to take that chance to remind you not to blame the Hamas gunmen, because they were forced to kill him in coldblood. Blame Egypt instead!

Blame Egypt: all the cool kids are doing it!

The conflict that's been going on for the past 4 days in Ghaza is kind of horrific, with both sides sharing some the blame(Hamas for being its stupid and reckless self, and Israel doing it's own rendition of what the wrath of the old testement god would look like today). The arab world decided that it will take a stand, and place the full blame on one party, and, here is the twist, it wasn't Israel or Hamas. They instead chose to blame Egypt. Sweet, huh?

Heading the charge are the Jordanians, the Lebanes and the Syrians- not to mention some of our own "oh-being-arab-is-so-awesome-we-wish-we-were-arab" self-hating dicks, and some gulfies. The rationale being that somehow, Egypt is not doing enough to support the palestinian cause, and is to blame for the Ghaza blockade. The rationale completely skips that 1) Egypt tends to honor it's international agreements, even if we don;t like it, 2) The coordination for opening the border happens between us and the Palestinian authority, which was overthrown by a nice bloody coup exacted by Hamas, and 3) Hamas is the kind of islamist terrorist organization that we don;t really wish to legitimize or support, let alone give access to a part of our country that witnessed 3 seperate terrorist attacks in the last 4 years, 2 of which targeting Israeli tourists. Also,  in a great twist of irony, all of those people blaming us have a sordid history of fucking over (and sometimes killing, in thousands i might add) the palestinians themselves: Jordanians with Black september, Lebanese with Sabra and Shatila, the syrians by stoking the fires and never actually doing anything to support them except getting beaten at wars, and the gulfies by being total fags and never actually doing anything, ever. But yes, blame Egypt. We are clearly at fault here.

So, as a special service to all of you fuckers who are badmouthing my country, which- by the way- fought 4 fuckin wars for the palestinian cause and lost more people than all of you (and hey, got it's land back fully too, how about that?), I would like you to take the opprutunity in my comment section to Blame Egypt for all of your ills and misgivings, not to mention your fuckin impotence and uselessness. Please, knock yourself out. We can take it, because we are not small-time self-righteous detached-from-reality whiney bitches.

Have a lovely day!

No1 Sun Engine opens tomorrow

  

Did you know that the world's First Industrial-sized Solar plant  was built in Cairo, Egypt, in the Maadi neighbourhood? I didn't, and I am sure there are many many many egyptians, let alone people from all over, unaware of that fact. Thanks to the work of two Swiss artists, Christina hemauer and Roman keller, this fact is being brought to light. And they are sending this invite to any one who lives in Cairo and is interested in that fact:

Dear friends and colleagues
Dear art lovers

We would kindly invite you for the opening
of our information kiosk in Maadi –
part of our project «No1 Sun Engine»
at the 11th Cairo International Biennale.

The opening takes place exactly where the
world's first industrial size solar plant was
built in Maadi, 6th street 101,
Monday 15th December, from 4 to 6 pm –
where vision meets history.

There will be a small buffet, pictures,
a lot of information
and many things to discuss.

We are looking forward to see you
Christina Hemauer | Roman Keller

Check it out!

What’s destroying Downtown Cairo

AP has a piece on how religion and decrepitude are threathening downtown Cairo Bars. I know a third source of threat: Gamal Mubarak. Our boy wonder has a project for downtown cairo, one he calls- and I wish I was joking- "Mini Dubai. Our boy, using a fake front of a company called "Al-Ismaelia for construction and development", is buying buildings left and right over there clandestinely, with the plan of leveling them and building new High-rises and Towers. You know, give downtown a post-modern face-life. I have two problems with that plan: 1) The architecture of the old downtown buildings in Cairo is second to none in their beauty, but are tarnished by the horrible neon signs of the 7 billion clothes and shoe stores there, and the fact that they desperately need renovation. 2) One of the buildings that our boy intends to own, is the one hosting the historical Cafe Riche, which is why it has been closed for the past year or so. The historical cafe, 100 years old, has been a central figure in Cairo's history and literary mythology. This is the place where they printed leaflets of the 1919 uprising against the brits; it used to hide activists and come with hidden passageways to help them evade the police; it is heavily mentioned and refrenced in Naguib Mahfouz's Cairo Trilogy and in it was the birth of his AlKarnak masterpiece; and it's the place where Cairo's literary stars, artists and actors have met for decades. It's all of that, and Jimmy wants to tear it all down, so he can have his Dubai High-rise.

So far the owner has been fighting this, and Jimmy's name has avoided being in the papers because so far the owner of the building hasn't recorded the sale yet, and law suits are flying back and forth. There will be an argument amongst some people, stating that such move to upgrade and upscale downtown is inevtiable, hiding behind "the inevtiable march of progress" as their justification. I reckon that if they want to upgrade parts of downtown, I can point them out to a number of areas that are both ugly and hold no historical value what so ever. And maybe they would be served to remember that their battle shouldn't be with aging or historical buildings, but with the lack of symmetry and ugliness that plague our streets (See Mohandeseen, see Nasr City). We are a country full of history, and our problem is that while we are quick to tout it, we do not respect it at all. Preservation is a word that's somehow absent from out vocabulary, and it can be seen in the miserable condition we treat the Pharaonic treasures in that run-down warehouse we call the egyptian museum. So please, either renovate Downtown, or leave it the fuck alone. But don't you dare destory one of the most beautiful parts of cairo, just so you can show foriegn investors how Dubai-like you are. Fuck you, fuck them and fuck Dubai all on the same day and twice on sunday. Have we fallen so far behind, and become so envying of Dubai, that we will do anything to claim that we are like it? Fine, apply their business practices first, or maybe their tax rate, or even their policy towards the protection of women froms exual harrassment first, and then build the highrises. Or, better yet, Dubai was built in a desert, and 90% of Egypt is desert, so why not build there? And Jimmy, why not move there while you are at it, so, you know, you can be next to your precious dubai-like skyline? Trust me, none of us will mind. Better yet, move to Dubai, and you can have all the sky-line that your little heart desires.

“The Persians are trying to devour the arab states”

So said Mubarak, according to the Jerusalem Post. Hmm.. You know, Hosny, I would care more if it wasn't for the fact that they are succeeding in that because you have limited Egypt's regional role in the area for the past, I dunno, 28 years? The way it's going down, the one Sunni country that can counter Iran both population and military wise in the region, is US. So , unless you are planning to stop being a pussy, and play regional politics ball, like Nasser and Sadat used to, just keep your old fuckin mouth shut. The Persians can't even keep Tehran's electricity running 24 hours a day now, and I am pretty sure they don't have the pull, ability, or desire to invade Egypt anytime soon. So, please, think before you speak. You are starting to sound like the senile old uncle that just starts yelling for no reason at family reunions.

Breaking News: Mubarak Pardons Eissa

In what is quite literally a very political move, Hosny Mubarak just pardoned the recently indicted Editor in Chief of El Dostoor Ibrahim Eissa. This move aims to discredit Eissa in the eyes of the local press, where everyone will start wondering why would the President pardon his most vocal critic, and whether Eissa sold out in exchange.

Egypt protesting European embassies?

Did they just get the memo that we get mistreated there?

Egypt has protested to European embassies in Cairo
about what it has described as the mistreatment of Egyptians applying
for entry visas.

The Egyptian foreign ministry said the embassies were applying
visa rules arbitrarily, and not treating Egyptians with respect and
dignity.

You know, I would be all for it, but the egyptian government, of all people, complaining that someone is not treating Egyptians with respect and dignity? We 7eyat deen omokom? That's like Bill Clinton scolding John Edwards for lying to the American people.

Ehh..Irony is dead! 

Hailing the Egyptian Boy

I've stumbled upon the works of egyptian-american Tony Menias, also known as the "Egyptian G" and I have to say that I am in love. His videos are awesome. Please check this video right here, on the egyptian english accent, and please please please check out the remake of Kanye's West's "American boy", which he called "Egyptian Boy" . You don't want to miss it, especially if you are egyptian. It's 7 degrees of awesome!

Hitting back at the Iranians

Oh yes, we are, artictically, for the insult they gave the egyptian people by showing a documentary golrifying the assassination of Sadat. How exactly will we do that? By making our own movie of course, called Khomeini, the Imam of Blood.

Mohamed Hassan Al-Alfi, a member of the ruling National Democratic
Party and Editor-in-Chief of its mouthpiece Al-Watani Al-Youm, told Al
Arabiya that he is in the process of writing the script for ‘Khomeini:
The Imam of Blood,’ which will be directed by prominent Egyptian
director Mohamed Fadel.

The movie, Alfi said, will spotlight Khomeini's extremist ideas and how
they threatened Egypt's security during the first 10 years of current
President Hosni Mubarak's rule. It will also show how Khomeini's
ideologies were behind the assassination of Sadat.

Oh yes, that will show them! Wait, it kinda won't, since they do admit that they wanted Sadat dead. So showing off how Khomeini was behind it would only make them happy. You wanna piss them off? Show Persopolis on egyptian TV for a week straight, and make the comic required reading in egyptian schools. Maybe even give Marjane Satrapi a medal. Name a street after he, or something. Don;t make a movie and definitely don;t have Mohamed Fadel direct it, because he will include his talentless ugly actress wife in it, Fardous abdelhamid, and that would just turn people off from ever wanting to watch it. That's just not smart, u know?

Dreaming of an Escape

 

The Beach, Hurghada, Egypt! 

Salamtak Ya Joe

Your prayers are needed! 

Egyptian copts call on Mubarak for protection

Yeah..ok..good luck with that!

Regular service will be resumed shortly

Disclaimer: Dear readers, this is simply my response to S&H post about me. If you think the whole thing is stupid, and who could blame you, then please ignore this and await my Obama post, and why him winning might actually be the best thing to happen for the American right. If you wanna read it anyway, be my guest, but don't you dare complain. You've been warned!

Holy Cow!

I didn't know that my post on you would cause such debate in your comments section, even though the word "debate" might be an exaggeration to what's going on here. Either way, Upon finding this, I figured why not respond to what's being said and all? I mean, even Amy Mowafi responded (more on that in a second) so I guess I should put my two cents in as well.

Now, the first thing I've noticed about your post is the parts you edited from mine. And while I can understand you taking away the references to the other two blogs, there is one line you removed from the final paragraph in that post, and I guess you removing it says volumes about you and your intellectual honesty. Here it is:

"No one cares. And if you truly live in Cairo and know the intrusive nature of its people, then you would know that most people would love to go anywhere without being seen or heard by 10 people that know them."

Now, why would you remove that specific sentence dear S&H? Any specific reason? Or is it because you know how true it is, and it just hit too close to home? Oh, I wonder.

Now , that aside, I am glad that you are doing this as a business venture, and not because you lead some empty existence where your only entertainment is the lives of others. Although, I am not really sure how this Business model operates exactly. Do people actually pay you to write stuff about them? If that's the case, how "hot" and "happenin" could they be? Does that mean that everything you post about is paid advertisement? Does that include your opinions as well? I am just asking because I have encountered a poor soul whose main beef with you was that you never mentioned her, and maybe if you guys are for sale, she could buy your love or attention, or something. But then again, what kind of socialite gets bought? What kind of Socialite needs money?

As for your questions, emm, let's see. Age: 27. Interests: Many many many things. Why do I hate people like you with social lives: Ehh..whomever said I was hating on you for your social life? Do you really think I care who you meet or hang out with or totally loathe? And do you really think that where you go is soo exclusive? I've been to every place you go to, I know every single one of your friends and we probably even drank together. But the main difference between you and me is this: I have this strange tendency to actually have fun when I go out. Yes, for real. Wanna know something crazier? If it's not going to be fun, I just don't go out. Yeah, really! That concept, for some reason, is lost on most of you, who go to Jazz club on Wednesdays (Or 35 on Fridays, and let's not forget La Bodega the rest of the freakin week, except Thursday of course, because that's when the bee2ah people go out) because it's the thing to do and "what else are we gonna do? Stay home?". And you go out with the same people as the night before, you discuss the same topics you discussed the time before and you spend lots of money on drinks that don't end up even getting you drunk or buzzed and you go home mabdoneen because your life is so very fuckin boring, and you go to bed counting the days until you head to Hacienda to "have some real parties", with, surprise surprise, the same people you meet in cairo, only this time everyone is showing off the results of the latest plastic surgery they've had. So no, this isn't the rant of some social recluse who is envious of you. There is nothing to envy there.

I am not even gonna address the Paulo Coelho issue. You've done a fine job on that one all by yourself.

Now, allow me to quote one of your posts, to show you why exactly you do piss me off. This is a post you wrote a couple of days ago, and I believe the topic was about "social climbers". Hmm, let's dissect that one for a second, shall we?

"You see them at La Bodega…35…AND Sangria, ALL IN ONE NIGHT!! They are called…THE SOCIAL CLIMBERS."

Color me confused, but isn't it true that in order for you to see them, don't you too have to be there at those 3 places that same night?

Now, what are the other signs of social climbers?

"The one's who say hi to anyone and everyone…"

Oh no, you mean they are being nice to people? How dare they?

"then you'll need to understand that we won't consider you "cool" if we know you been to every hot spot..and hung out till unearthly hours"

Ok, so the S&H rules in order for you not to be categorized as a social climber are: Don't go to three places in one night and be seen there, unless you are a part of the Scene & Heard Clique, because they are exempted from that rule. Don't be nice or say hi to people; sneer at them, growl if possible! And don't stay up late in one place. A good socialite leaves the party while it's happening, not when it's over, because the ones who stay till the end are losers, and they end up being stuck with the check (double losers). Did I get that right?

You know, I come from old money. Not touting that as an achievement or anything. It's simply a fact. My grandfather was the Egyptian royalty, my grandmother is such an old and known "socialite" (back when the term had something to do with charitable work and love for this country), whose donation to charity is now estimated to be worth billions and who actually has a square in Heliopolis named after her. She raised me, and she thought me the difference between old money and the nouveau riche. You know what the difference is? Manners. Old money comes with manners. You are polite to all people, and you never have to make a scene, because you know who you are and where you come from. New money, on the other hand, have inferiority complexes: so they mistreat their maids, they insult the wait-staff, and they act snobbish, haughty and rude to people, and they say shit like "entah 3aref entah betkalem meen?", because they believe (from watching bad TV shows and movies) that this is the way you act if you are from the upper-class. Only a true nouveau riche social climber would care about who they are seen talking to in clubs, who shows there, and how they will look in the eyes of others. Old money doesn't give a crap about that, but they will see fit to remind the nouveau riche of their place if they do cross the line. That's all there is to it.

Now, I don't know which are you, nor do I care that much. But you should know that the attitude you are exporting is that of the nouveau riche, and god forbid you guys get labeled as that. As for anyone who is reading this and actually wishes to be considered a socialite, well, my dear friends, it's really much easier and simpler than they portray it here. You wanna be a socialite? Well, it's really really easy. All you really need are two things: 1) Money, and 2) Time to waste. Because trust me, you will waste a lot of time and money getting in, and you will waste even more the moment you are in. Don't worry, they will let you in their circles, because they are bored of each other more than they would like to admit, even to themselves.

As for Amy, well, my beef with her book is very simple: Being a single woman at her late twenties is not an achievement, nor is her stating that she doesn't care how that makes society views her makes her a rebel and someone who breaks down walls. It's simply the case of society placing retarded rules and norms on girls and women, and the key word here is retarded. Not following retarded rules doesn't make you a rebel; it simply means you are not retarded. Congratulations, here is a cookie. The fact that the majority of other girls in Egypt seem to obey and follow those rules still doesn't make you a rebel; it just means that they are…let's say it together…RETARDED. There you go. Now you get it. There are very good reasons to like or even admire Amy: She is a strong and independent woman who managed to make a name for herself in the world of magazines and writing. Bragging about giving her mom ulcers because she "still hasn't found a good man" isn't one of them, because quite frankly, if your mom, after all that you have achieved, still looks at you as an incomplete object because you haven't found a suitable Penis to marry, well, then maybe she does deserve that ulcer. Not wishing your mother harm or anything Amy, Just saying.

And finally, yeah, god forbid I would be considered a socialite, especially if it means abiding by the set of rules and behavior that are being advocated here. The Socialite scene is filled with people who will swear up and down that the movie "Cruel Intentions" was "like, totally, my highschool" and who seem to think that "Mean girls" was an accurate portrayal of the struggles they face in their social life. Yeah. Not me. It wouldn't necessarily be "haram", mainly because I detest people who even remotely use that term to justify anything, but it would suck being lumped in that group, mainly because of their intellectual level. It really would.

So this is the end of that S&H, and you can make of this what you wish. I am glad that I have given you more traffic, and if that's how you make your money, then please send me my cut. This is, after all, a business venture, no? As for your generous offer to write for you, I would have to respectfully decline. Nothing personal. Just don't have the time to keep up with every little thing the people in your circle of friends do. Best of luck with that!

Loving the Zeitoun Shooting cover-up

I am. I really really am. Here are so far the reasons provided by the police and the media on why this wasn't a secterian attack:

Justification #1: There are about 12 Coptic owned Jewelry stores in the area surrounding the targeted store. The fact that they targeted this one proves that this is personal and that it wasn't about religion.

Why this is bullshit: Well, they were only two shooters. It's not like they were a big group of pirates who were gonna go on a rape and pillage spree in the middle of the day. They went in, killed 4 people and got away. The fact that they opened fire the moment they stepped into the store kind of goes with the execution-style of such terrorist attacks, not a stick-up scenario. But what do I know? Oh, and by the way, his store is the biggest and most known one in the neighborhood, yet nobody stole anything.

Justification #2: The whole thing was a personal vendetta. The guy was from Upper Egypt, you know.

Why this is bullshit: First of all, almost all Copts are originally from Upper Egypt, so that means shit. Second of all, Vendetta's are very specific: they kill the target, and possibly his family, but never anyone from another family.That would just force a third family to enter into the Vendetta game, which would mean that the attacking family would have to worry about two attackers instead of one. Makes no sense.

Justification #3: This wasn't a religious attack, because there is someone who saw two people who fit the description standing on a street corner two hours after the incident, and one of the had a cross tattooed on his wrist.

Why this is Bullshit: The same witness testified that he noticed the tattoo (which is usually about an inch in size) from a distance. Why was he watching those two? Because apparently one of them was helping the other shoot up heroin in the middle of the day on the streets of Zeitoun. Seriously. The guy's testimony states that he saw two people who fit the description standing from a distance, one of them was shooting a needle into the other's arm, and he could see the cross on that guy's wrist. So Zeitoun now has Mid-day  execution style slaying and people shooting heroin in public. Zeitoun is now Detroit. I believe it. Don't you?

Oh, and by the way, the cute girl who left a comment in the comment section of my previous post about the missing 15 k of gold, well, none of the newspapers mentioned any of this. Which would mean that there is a cover-up in order to make the whole thing seem sectarian. But if that was the case, why is the police trying their hardest to come up with a non-sectarian reason or justification for the incident (see above reasons) if the intent was to paint this crime as a sectarian one? Oh, those sneaky bastards. They must've forced the newspapers to not mention the stolen jewelry in order to give it a sectarian vibe, and then spent days mentioning all possible ridiculous reasons why this couldn't be a sectarian incident in order to make people really believe that this was a sectarian incident. Those sneaky sneaky bastards. They probably killed him too. And the Jooz must've been in on it to stow sectarian strife in Egypt. We might as well go there, right? Since we are, after all, going with crazy theories to justify a rather simple case of hate crime to make it something else. Much easier that way than dealing with it, no?  

Whatever…