Spreading Apartheid discourse

Nizo, the hilarious palestinian gay blogger, finally gives in to peer pressure!

McCain on Twitter

Oh, John, you should know the answer to your question by now!

God bless the morons

The Dilbert blog understands me completely when it comes to this "stimulus package" business:

Our government is preparing to pass something called a stimulus
package. According to the experts, this stimulus package won't directly
stimulate much of anything in the short term, when we need it. But with
any luck it will bamboozle a hundred million morons into thinking their
government did something useful, and that in turn will cause them to
become more confident and spend additional money on cigarettes and
lottery tickets, thus stimulating the economy.

The funny thing
about this scheme is that it might work. The other funny thing is that
no one is trying to hide the fact that the entire plan depends on
bamboozling the aggressively ignorant portion of the population. We
need to get those bozos spending again, and if it requires a fraudulent
stimulus package to get it done, most people seem okay with that.

This
is yet another situation where smart people are ironically incompetent
if left to their own devices. If the world were populated only with the
smart and well-informed, we'd all sit around waiting for someone else
to spend money first, so they can take the highest risk. Eventually
society would crumble and all of us geniuses would be eaten by rats.
But if you throw a bunch of clueless bastards into the mix, suddenly
the economy is supercharged. Money is flying everywhere, confidence
becomes warranted, and the economy flourishes.

Our past economic
booms depended heavily on morons. Those wonderful stimulators of the
economy had to buy stock in perpetually unprofitable tech companies, or
invest in real estate after it was clearly overpriced. Every economic
boom is powered by the clueless. I see no reason why the next one
should be different, except that the government is doing the
bamboozling this time.

I plan to do my patriotic duty by no
longer following the news coverage of the economic stimulus plan. This
will allow me to imagine that all of the pork and special interest
garbage will be removed from the final bill that gets approved. I will
blissfully assume that the economic stimulation will be short term and
effective. Oh, and long term and effective too. And then I, and my
fellow ignorami, will spend, spend, spend our way out of this slump.

You're welcome.

Word. 

20th century Fox twitter account

Ok, so it's totally fake, but it made me wish it was real.

Favorite Tweet: Wasn't Marley & Me cute? And don't worry, your kids had to learn about dog euthanasia sooner or later!

The world’s most annoying financial crisis

Is happening in Argentine as we speak, and it's kinda funny!

You will get kidnapped in Mexico

I mean, if the US anti-kidnapping expert got kidnapped, what chance do you have? Also, can we please remove that title from him if he gets released? It's kinda embarrassing at this point!

Typical Egyptian Male Behavior

I don't agree with all of them, but I will be damned if Mayo did not hit some nails on their heads. My Favorites:

1.He lost all his savings; Stock Market, Rayan, Private Business, you name it.
3. You are not allowed to do what he does. And that ranges from the simple issues of smoking and friends of the opposite sex to losing your virginity before marriage.
4. Your mom sucks and you listen to everything your mom says. Ever wondered who shaped that twisted perception; it his bloody mom.
5. You are fake and you are running after him, and that's why whenever he sees you he talks about nothing except a crush over an East European girl or the "Acclaimed 100, 000 LE" he lost in the stock market.
6. He has no sense of privacy whatsoever. He can browse the files on your mobile even without your approval. If you tell him "What the hell are you doing?" His answer would be "What the hell do you have to hide?"
7. He generalizes. You girls want to marry a rich guy. You girls would make a man miserable. You girls don't wear dresses.
8. He assumes that he is god's gift from heaven to you, and you don't desreve him. Hence he asks you to go over the border for him. "We are going to live with my mom." "I am only 30 Kgs over weight." "My ex loved more than you do and you have to be like her."

18. He has been a junkie, and a bearded religious man of god, and anything in between.

And my Favorite:

19. Definitely, when he graduated, he was qualified for a management position. It is only the luck of the competition that got them where they are now. " Tarek abouh kan gayblo wasta keda"

Check out her post parts 1 and 2.

The Democratic Primaries inevtiable conclusion!

The questions you didn’t know Zawhiri answerd

For example:

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

I am a journalist for the U.S. publication Tiger Beat. When I
heard you would be taking Web questions, I was like OMG, I totes have
to write to him!!! Here are three questions we’re asking celebrities
this month:

1. If you could be any character on “Gossip Girl,” who would you be?

2. Who would be a better friend, Lauren on “The Hills” or Ashley Tisdale in “High School Musical”?

3. Who is hotter, Zac Efron or Joe Jonas? (LOL)

—Stacy in Manhattan

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

May you and everyone at your magazine burn in Hell.

And  

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

Does Al Qaeda ever endorse political candidates? If so, I recommend
that you give a big thumbs-up to Barack Obama. I guarantee you he hates
America as much as you do (if not more)! It would be great if you
appeared in a bunch of TV ads and called him “the evildoing President
that evildoers have been waiting for.”

—Bill in Chappaqua

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

Al Qaeda is only interested in American elections to the extent that
we can plunge them into abject chaos. So this year, as in every other
year, we are supporting Ralph Nader.

 Brilliant!

How Hillary can still win

Well…..

Texans are wussies!

From the Petraeus testimony:

Petraeus to Chris Dodd: "Every Iraqi is allowed an AK-47 in his house, by law."

I want one! :(

So not fair. hmmph! 

Prophet Mohamed, described

What the man looked like, at least according to this Facebook Group:

Name : Muhammad (PBUH) Ibn Abdillah Ibn Abdelmottaleb Ibn Hashim.Place of birth : Makkah.

Skin color : Moderate between dark and white , when he's subjected to sun it gets slightly red.

Facial describtion : His face was like a full moon , when he is pleased his face lightens up.

Eyebrows : He had a srtong bowed eyebrows slightly connetcted but couldn't be recognized unless there was dust on his face.

Eyes : He had white wide eyes with some redness in them , his eyelashes were slightly long , his eye pupil was so dark.

Nose : He had a straight nose , had some highness in its middle .

Cheeks : He had stiff straight cheeks.

Mouth : His mouth was slightly big , beautiful although , his teeth were white and had narrow spaces between the front teeth.

Beard
(Lehya) : He had a thick hairy black beard , with some white hairs in
it , it was a fist long , He usually brushed it and put cream on his
hair and put perfume , that when he walks in the streets u could know
that he walked from here through his smell ( that's for men , women's
smell shouldn't be recognized in the streets )

Hair : He had a
smooth thick black hair , its length ranged from his ears till
sometimes he left it till it reached his shoulders.

Neck : He had a slightly long neck , A'li said " It's like a pot of silver " for its beauty.

Chest : He had a relatively wide chest , had hair on his shoulders.

Arms : He had long hairy arms.

Palms
: He had a big soft palm , it was thick , and it got hard and strong
during fights , and after they finish fighting it gets soft again , his
fingers were long.

Abdomin : He had some hair on his chest , he had no belly , he had moderate fat percentage in his body.

Height : He was moderate between tall and short but tends to tallness.

His sweat had a beautiful esscence.

Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for whatever effect reading this will leave you, nor it responsible for the shitty descriptions provided by the writer of this facebook group (skin between light and dark, and gets red in the sun? Face like a full moon? moderate fat percentage in his body?), nor for the shitty spelling and grammar. Actually, we decline any notion of any kind of responsibility what-so-ever, and will refuse to be held liable to anything, ever, ever, ever. And if you are offended by the descriptions, and would like to kill the writer for his blasphemy, please let me know, and I will give you the name of the writer and every single person in that group, and you can do to them as you wish, just don't kill me Mr. Jihady-man! I am but a simple messenger, not to mention I am still to make an honest woman out of someone, let alone divorce that someone a few years later. I am still young, despite what my mother may think, so don't come after me, Ok?

The Kabobfest inner conflict

In what could be Kabobfest a hoax (and god knows they are not above it), an ex-Kabobfester started an anti-Kabobfest website, even creating an Urban Dictionary entry on the definition of Kabobfest:

amalgamation of pseudo-bohemian, kuffiyeh wearing, proto-typical
non-conformists who identify as being either Arab or Muslim-friendly
within a post-9-11 context and sit around all day competing for that
one moment of self aggrandizing glory in which they seemingly hog the
intellectual spotlight within pointless, shallow conversations related
to Middle East affairs just to temporarily fulfill an insatiable thirst
for appearing knowledgeable. These types of people are often found in
Cafés checking their Facebook profiles on laptop computers and blogging
about nothing terribly important.

Look at those dirty activists wearing $95 designer Che Guevara t-shirts, they're such a KABOBfest!

Sounds true to me! 

How to overcome masturbation

The Mormon Way!

Relationship Obituaries

Just got out of a break up? Go write yours today!

The Iraqi WMD’s are in Jordan

Or so says Huckabee. Don;t you just love Huckabee? Total clueless Idiot who knows nothing about what he is talking about, but you just can;t help but love him. Oh, and bad Jordan. Very bad Jordan.

The Quick Mitt Quiz

Take it, unless you are allergic to pandering! There is a lot of it in those answers.

Seen in Egypt

He really heats you! 

The French Facebook Prank

This is actually quite funny!

Egypt to copyright Pyramids

Oh yes. Zahi Hawass, our favorite media-whore, has brain-farted again. Yay:

In a potential blow to themed resorts from Vegas to Tokyo, Egypt is
to pass a law requiring payment of royalties whenever its ancient
monuments, from the pyramids to the sphinx, are reproduced.

Zahi
Hawass, the charismatic and controversial head of Egypt's Supreme
Council of Antiquities, told AFP on Tuesday that the move was necessary
to pay for the upkeep of the country's thousands of pharaonic sites.

"The
new law will completely prohibit the duplication of historic Egyptian
monuments which the Supreme Council of Antiquities considers
100-percent copies," he said.

"If the law is passed then it will be applied in all countries of the world so that we can protect our interests," Hawass said.

So, before you start thinking they will start charging royalties from artists, or maybe even the Luxor Hotel in Vegas, well, they won't.

However, the law "does not forbid local or international artists
from profiting from drawings and other reproductions of pharaonic and
Egyptian monuments from all eras — as long as they don't make exact
copies."

"Artists have the right to be inspired by everything that surrounds them, including monuments," he said.

Asked
about the potential impact on the monumental Luxor Hotel in the US
gambling capital of Las Vegas, Hawass insisted that particular resort
was "not an exact copy of pharaonic monuments despite the fact it's in
the shape of a pyramid."

On its website, the luxury hotel
describes itself as "the only pyramid shaped building in the world,"
but Hawass said its interior was entirely different from an ancient
Egyptian setting.

So..ehh..what's the point again? We only forbid exact replicas of the Pyramids and the Sphinx in and out? Is this the case? Does this make any kind of sense? Am I wrong to think that this guy just wants to be in the media wearing his "Indiana Jones" hat?

Douchebag!