Archive of ‘Funny’ category

The questions you didn't know Zawhiri answerd

For example:

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

I am a journalist for the U.S. publication Tiger Beat. When I
heard you would be taking Web questions, I was like OMG, I totes have
to write to him!!! Here are three questions we’re asking celebrities
this month:

1. If you could be any character on “Gossip Girl,” who would you be?

2. Who would be a better friend, Lauren on “The Hills” or Ashley Tisdale in “High School Musical”?

3. Who is hotter, Zac Efron or Joe Jonas? (LOL)

—Stacy in Manhattan

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

May you and everyone at your magazine burn in Hell.

And  

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

Does Al Qaeda ever endorse political candidates? If so, I recommend
that you give a big thumbs-up to Barack Obama. I guarantee you he hates
America as much as you do (if not more)! It would be great if you
appeared in a bunch of TV ads and called him “the evildoing President
that evildoers have been waiting for.”

—Bill in Chappaqua

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

Al Qaeda is only interested in American elections to the extent that
we can plunge them into abject chaos. So this year, as in every other
year, we are supporting Ralph Nader.

 Brilliant!

Prophet Mohamed, described

What the man looked like, at least according to this Facebook Group:

Name : Muhammad (PBUH) Ibn Abdillah Ibn Abdelmottaleb Ibn Hashim.Place of birth : Makkah.

Skin color : Moderate between dark and white , when he's subjected to sun it gets slightly red.

Facial describtion : His face was like a full moon , when he is pleased his face lightens up.

Eyebrows : He had a srtong bowed eyebrows slightly connetcted but couldn't be recognized unless there was dust on his face.

Eyes : He had white wide eyes with some redness in them , his eyelashes were slightly long , his eye pupil was so dark.

Nose : He had a straight nose , had some highness in its middle .

Cheeks : He had stiff straight cheeks.

Mouth : His mouth was slightly big , beautiful although , his teeth were white and had narrow spaces between the front teeth.

Beard
(Lehya) : He had a thick hairy black beard , with some white hairs in
it , it was a fist long , He usually brushed it and put cream on his
hair and put perfume , that when he walks in the streets u could know
that he walked from here through his smell ( that's for men , women's
smell shouldn't be recognized in the streets )

Hair : He had a
smooth thick black hair , its length ranged from his ears till
sometimes he left it till it reached his shoulders.

Neck : He had a slightly long neck , A'li said " It's like a pot of silver " for its beauty.

Chest : He had a relatively wide chest , had hair on his shoulders.

Arms : He had long hairy arms.

Palms
: He had a big soft palm , it was thick , and it got hard and strong
during fights , and after they finish fighting it gets soft again , his
fingers were long.

Abdomin : He had some hair on his chest , he had no belly , he had moderate fat percentage in his body.

Height : He was moderate between tall and short but tends to tallness.

His sweat had a beautiful esscence.

Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for whatever effect reading this will leave you, nor it responsible for the shitty descriptions provided by the writer of this facebook group (skin between light and dark, and gets red in the sun? Face like a full moon? moderate fat percentage in his body?), nor for the shitty spelling and grammar. Actually, we decline any notion of any kind of responsibility what-so-ever, and will refuse to be held liable to anything, ever, ever, ever. And if you are offended by the descriptions, and would like to kill the writer for his blasphemy, please let me know, and I will give you the name of the writer and every single person in that group, and you can do to them as you wish, just don't kill me Mr. Jihady-man! I am but a simple messenger, not to mention I am still to make an honest woman out of someone, let alone divorce that someone a few years later. I am still young, despite what my mother may think, so don't come after me, Ok?

The Kabobfest inner conflict

In what could be Kabobfest a hoax (and god knows they are not above it), an ex-Kabobfester started an anti-Kabobfest website, even creating an Urban Dictionary entry on the definition of Kabobfest:

amalgamation of pseudo-bohemian, kuffiyeh wearing, proto-typical
non-conformists who identify as being either Arab or Muslim-friendly
within a post-9-11 context and sit around all day competing for that
one moment of self aggrandizing glory in which they seemingly hog the
intellectual spotlight within pointless, shallow conversations related
to Middle East affairs just to temporarily fulfill an insatiable thirst
for appearing knowledgeable. These types of people are often found in
Cafés checking their Facebook profiles on laptop computers and blogging
about nothing terribly important.

Look at those dirty activists wearing $95 designer Che Guevara t-shirts, they're such a KABOBfest!

Sounds true to me! 

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