Iranian protesters target Egypt, Saudi and British sites

Well, they broke into the British diplomatic compound, protested against egyptian interests and attacked the Saudi Airlines office with Molotov cocktails. For a Police-state, Iran isn't really doing much policing these days, are they?

Darren Oronofsky the anti-Iranian

You know, for a bunch of so called tough-guys, the Iranians sure are a bunch of hyper-sensitive whiney bitches!

On Hoder

First of all, let me inform you that I have a deep personal dislike to Hossein Darakshan, also known as Hoder, because I think him a scheming, opprutunistic hypocritical two-faced douchebag of a human being. Naturally I am biased, because he did maliciously hurt a dear friend of mine, Lisa Goldman, and he is a huge turncoat and traitor to many in the Iranian activist scene and blogsphere, and has been spending the good part of his previous couple of years trying to appease and court the favor of the Islamic republic of Iran, even announcing that he would like to get his education funded by them. His ass-kissing is also fueled by his very-public and publicity generating visit to Israel, where he was celebrated by leftist jews eager to build bridges of understanding and dialogue between them and the Iranians, but failed to gain funding for his online project of building a masturbatory website linking Tehren to Tel-aviv, that would've also included a nice salary for him as the runner of such project, and "official breaker of taboos and walls of hate". Nope, me don't like him, so much so that when I heard the news of him getting arrested in his last visit in Iran, on charges of espionage for Israel, I let out a hearty laugh, thinking that the piece of shit  finnaly got what was coming to him. I also knew that I wasn;t the only one thinking that, given the Iranian blogsphere severe reluctance to rally around him or help create a decent "Free Hoder" campaign urging his release. Some even have stated that his arrest did not matter, and welcomed his departure. All was well in the world, Justice has beens erved, Karma balanced and all this crap. So why was there something bothering me about this?

And then I rememberd: The guy was arrested by the Iranian republic. For Espionage. FOR ISRAEL. Even if we ignore that last part, the man was arrested, no doubtly for his writing and activism. Since when did that not matter? Since when are our campaigns for releasing dissidents based on our personal like or dislike of said dissidint? I mean, sure he was a giant asshole, but really, is the damage that he enacted worth one week spent in an Iranian Jail? The man will probably be hanged for treason, for something that is the epitome of a trumpt-up charge, and we are debating whether or not we should stand by him? You think I liked Alaa when I started the campaign to free him? The guy was always obnoxious to me,  and always bad-mouthing me behind my back, and I knew that even if I did participate in his campaign and helped release him, he would still be a dick to me, because his dislike of me had ideological roots, and wasn;t absed upon personal interaction. And he was. So what? I don't regret it, and would do it again in a heartbeat, because principles matter. And even if all of my beliefs change, there is one I can not give up on, and that's every human's right to freedom of speech, even if they are brown-nosing assholes.

So yes, please, Free Hoder. Sign me up for that cause, even if it means he will become a bigger celebrity if he gets out. Sign me up, and sign up as well, even if the people advocating it are people- like me- you have serious fundemntal disagreements with. You should sign up too, because Freedom of speech is not about popularity. If you can deisgn a webiste, if you can help out with banner-designs, if you can do anything to help, please do, and let's get him out, and then bash him later as long as we wish. Ok?

“The Persians are trying to devour the arab states”

So said Mubarak, according to the Jerusalem Post. Hmm.. You know, Hosny, I would care more if it wasn't for the fact that they are succeeding in that because you have limited Egypt's regional role in the area for the past, I dunno, 28 years? The way it's going down, the one Sunni country that can counter Iran both population and military wise in the region, is US. So , unless you are planning to stop being a pussy, and play regional politics ball, like Nasser and Sadat used to, just keep your old fuckin mouth shut. The Persians can't even keep Tehran's electricity running 24 hours a day now, and I am pretty sure they don't have the pull, ability, or desire to invade Egypt anytime soon. So, please, think before you speak. You are starting to sound like the senile old uncle that just starts yelling for no reason at family reunions.

Those Iranian missiles

Apparently the Iranians photoshopped those Missile pictures that shocked and scared the world, and in response, the world has decided to make their own photoshopped versions of that same picture. The one above is my favorite, but please go here and here for more. I would even tell you  feel free to makes new ones and sending them to me, but this was out 6 days ago, and it would feel dated. You know?

Hitting back at the Iranians

Oh yes, we are, artictically, for the insult they gave the egyptian people by showing a documentary golrifying the assassination of Sadat. How exactly will we do that? By making our own movie of course, called Khomeini, the Imam of Blood.

Mohamed Hassan Al-Alfi, a member of the ruling National Democratic
Party and Editor-in-Chief of its mouthpiece Al-Watani Al-Youm, told Al
Arabiya that he is in the process of writing the script for ‘Khomeini:
The Imam of Blood,’ which will be directed by prominent Egyptian
director Mohamed Fadel.

The movie, Alfi said, will spotlight Khomeini's extremist ideas and how
they threatened Egypt's security during the first 10 years of current
President Hosni Mubarak's rule. It will also show how Khomeini's
ideologies were behind the assassination of Sadat.

Oh yes, that will show them! Wait, it kinda won't, since they do admit that they wanted Sadat dead. So showing off how Khomeini was behind it would only make them happy. You wanna piss them off? Show Persopolis on egyptian TV for a week straight, and make the comic required reading in egyptian schools. Maybe even give Marjane Satrapi a medal. Name a street after he, or something. Don;t make a movie and definitely don;t have Mohamed Fadel direct it, because he will include his talentless ugly actress wife in it, Fardous abdelhamid, and that would just turn people off from ever wanting to watch it. That's just not smart, u know?

The 6 Iranian rules for regional hegemony

5 of which belong to Thomas Friedman, the 6th belongs to Mustapha from Beirut Spring, and are all available here!

Isn’t that convenient??

The Egyptian police finds a weapon cache and explosives near the Gaza border, the same day the government extends the emergency law. Those two events are completely disconnected, no matter what conspiracy theorists or rational opposition members may contend! Completely disconnected, I tell you!

Egypt accuses Iran of supporting Sudanese rebels

Ladies and gentlemen, the truce between Iran and Egypt is a long time coming. Egypt is framing itself well at being the regional Sunni heaveyweight that counters Iran. A state-sponsored newspaper just accused Iran of being behind the rebels attack on Khartoum. It's a government-sponsored newspaper so it could be all lies, but it does send the signal that the egyptian regime won't warm up to Iran anytime soon. Too bad we are not as smart or dedicated as they are.

Iran is behind the 9/11 zionist conspiracy

Ayamn Al Zawahry comes in the defense of the Jewish state , and he is blaming the conspiracy talk on Iran and Hezbollah. Imagine that!

Osama bin Laden's chief deputy on Tuesday denied a theory that Israel carried out the Sept. 11 attacks and blamed Iran and Shiite Hezbollah for spreading the idea to discredit the Sunni al-Qaida's strike against the U.S.

[..]

One of the questioners asked about the theory that has circulated in
the Middle East and elsewhere that Israel was behind the 2001 attacks
on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

Al-Zawahri accused Hezbollah's Al-Manar television of starting the rumor.

"The purpose of this lie is clear — (to suggest) that there are no
heroes among the Sunnis who can hurt America as no else did in history.
Iranian media snapped up this lie and repeated it," he said.

"Iran's aim here is also clear — to cover up its involvement with America in invading the homes of Muslims in Afghanistan and Iraq," he said.

Those damn Iranians! 

It could happen here

I just saw Persepolis, and I am in awe.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, you need to check out either the Graphic Novels by Marjane Starpi by that same name or the 2007 Oscar nominated film (the one I am talking about right now). I read the books before and just saw the movie yesterday, and the movie has literally blown my mind. Filmed in Pencil-drawn black and white animation, the movie takes us into the story of Marjane during her childhood as the Shah is about to fall, through living with the Aftermath of the Iranian revolution and the newly founded Islamic regime. The animation-which is an odd choice in the age of 3D generic crap- is really what makes this film special, especially that its dark feel adds to the stark brutality of the scenes of violence or its aftereffects. The use of black and white and shadows only  gives Persepolis the feel and quality of film noir. When its dark, its the stuff of nightmares, especially for someone like me, but when its humorous, it is silly, lighthearted and uplifting; such are the contradictions of this film. I mean, this is the kind of film that is austere in many ways and yet boasts a
sequence in which the heroine sings “Eye of the Tiger” in broken
English. How could you not love that? (Also, the dream sequence between Marjane, God and Marx, well, that's the stuff of greatness).

The movie chronicles Satrapi's efforts to reconcile the Iran she loves with a country upended by war and extremism, and it is a tribute to one young woman's stubborn resilience and a
reminder that people are people, regardless of how their governments
may want them to behave, and how people inherently understand the essence of evil presented to them by those ruling them, even if they do share the same or similar beliefs to them. I literally cringed at the scene where Marjane's maid was crying while holding the key the authorities gave to her 14 year old boy, telling him that it's the "Key to Heaven" if he choses to join the army and die a martyr, because I can see this getting deployed here, easily, if for whatever reason we are ruled by Islamists who might feel like starting a war with Israel and we started to lose badly. What's even scarier, I can see it working.

But if there is one thing that did break my heart upon viewing the movie for a second time, it's the assurances of Marjane's great Marxist Uncle, as the revolution stops being about getting rid of the Shah and starts slowly but surely become about installing a far worse theocratic regime. I could see every single marxist or leftist friend I know here who fights for the right of the MB and who believes himself to be in the same boat with them sitting just like him in a chair, re-assuring everyone that there is "no need to worry. It will get better. Half of the country is illiterate. It's normal and natural for them to vote for islamic rule", until the very next scene, where the new regime decided that they need to get rid of all the other enemies of the old regime, and arrested the man again, only executing him this time. And while I might think of those friends of mine as naive, idealistic or misguided, I wouldn't ever want them dead. But then again, I don't have the audacity or the arrogance of ever claiming to represent what God wants us to be like. Even my Ego has its limits.

The question of the movie becomes immediately that of: What does one do in such a situation? Marjane's family is obviously well-off, educated, westernized and mostly secular, something that I can relate to greatly, and they find themselves suddenly surrounded by uneducated bearded men who believe in their absolute moral authority to do as they damn well please, no matter what the consequences- even if the consequences are the destruction of a country. What does one do in such a situation? The obvious solution – to stay away from Iran, or whatever your respective country may be – isn't easy, and the movie emphasizes that above all else. The
predominant theme of Persepolis is not war or repression but the pull
of home, no matter one's location. That home can be a state of mind, and that it follows you everywhere. And this rings true to me. As much as I am horrified of the direction my country is taking, I can't find myself able to leave it, even when presented the opportunity last year by a reader I am very grateful to. I love this country, I think it's beautiful, and I believe it to be mine. Why would I ever leave it to those who only see it as some part of a greater empire, whether Arabic or Islamic? The more and more you deal with Islamists, the less scary they get, because you realize that you are facing the morally and intellectually bankrupt whose only weapon is fear. But they are such cowards themselves, that they can't ward off or face off against anyone who stands up to them without threatening them outwards with violence. And if that day comes and they rule this land, well, I have a feeling that they will have to kill me and thousands and thousands like me, because we won't shut up and they will have no answer than that provided via a sword. There will be blood, no two ways about it.

Thank God we are not there..

…yet! 

Iran is like Egypt

..in reverse..

Iran's hard-liners head into Friday's parliamentary elections burdened by the unpopularity of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
because of an ailing economy. But they have a safety net: Rival
reformists are crippled after the clerical leadership threw out their
best candidates.

[..]

The Guardian Council, a body of hard-line clerics and jurists who check
candidates for their loyalty to the revolution, barred more than 1,700
candidates from running, most of them reformers, including their
best-known leaders.

But maybe I am too harsh on the NDP. We don't bar people from running in elections, we just jail them until they are over. 

Got this in the mail

According to reliable sources, the Iranian government has ordered one of its battleships to patrol in the  Mediterranean Sea and in the national waters of Lebanon in an  act perceived as deterrent to the Americans. The Iranian Defense Administration ordered this battleship to remain in close proximity to USS Cole to ensure that the Lebanese allies will feel secure and relieved that the  American influence will not prevail.
The battleship is named IRN Shkor.

The official confirmed to us that the Lebanese will now have "Cole W Shkor" available after every meal.

Bon Appetit!

Singing for A.J.

Elijah is right, you can't get this out of your head!

The First Islamic Car

It's gonna be produced by Iran. What makes it Islamic? Well, it will be manufactured by three Islamic Nations (Iran, Turkey and Malaysia) and it will include decidedly Islamic features: It will contain a Prayer Rug, a Mecca-pointing compass and a "Koran Holder", just in case you feel like reading the good book while driving. The news is welcomed by the thousands of Muslims who are sick and tired of driving Italian Catholic cars or German and American protestant cars ( we are not even gonna mention the cars made by the asian infidels here), and wanted a car that shared their religious beliefs. The people are complaining though  that the car doesn't segregate between the men and women riding it, and therefore isn't truly Islamic. The company claims that segregating the car would be impractical from an engineering point of view, but promises to install vice sensors in the upcoming models that will blare an alarm saying"GOD IS WATCHING YOU, BITCHES!" in case a man and a woman got within touching distance from each other.

Onwards, Islamic people! 

Just like Iraq

At first it reads like the usual "Now the whole world hates us because of the War" american leftist diatribe, but upon close inspection this article does make some serious points. Definitely worth a read!

The Hezbollah Israeli hostages are in Iran?

The two Israeli soldiers who were kidnaped by Hezbollah, Ehud Goldwasser, 31, and Eldad Regev, 26, are now reportedly in Iran . Hezbollah, Iranian stooges? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Two Israeli soldiers captured by Lebanon's Shiite movement Hezbollah in 2006 have been handed to Iran and could be freed in a German-brokered swap, an Arabic newspaper reported on Sunday.

[..]

The source claimed that the soldiers could be part of an exchange involving Germany, which decided last week to free an Iranian agent jailed for life for the 1992 murder of four Kurdish dissidents.

"The content of the deal is being kept under tight secrecy this time, as it is related to the fate of the two Israeli soldiers," he was quoted as saying.

An entire country destroyed in a war over two hostages who won't even be used to free lebanese hostages in Israel but rather to get an Iranian spy out. Fantastic! Those Hezbollah boys sure are patriotic Lebanese. Yes sir, they sure are!

A lovesong for Ahmedinjad

Courtesy of Aandy Sandberg and Adam Levine, a lovesong for our favorite holocaust denying homosexual killer who wants nukes!

Words and Pics

The Statement

 "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

The Reality

Two Iranian Teens getting hanged in the City of Mashad in Iran, for you know, being Gay.

And, the Inevtiable Conclusion:

   

Ahmadinejad apologists, this is what you defend!

Your Daily Iran Update

The Economy is bad, the Iranians are complaining , the Iranian Government keeps doing shady shit on the political and the military sides. But don't you worry, no war will ever take place, because the "Iraqi resistance" learned the PR and media lessons of the Tet Offensive well, and the people have lost their wide, but not deep, support for military actions of all sorts, even against people that they know are evil fuckers who keep screwing them every chance they get. As always, America is defeated psychologically, even if it's not done fighting. And this won't change anytime soon.

So basically, nothing new to see here folks. Move along now.