Archive of ‘Islam’ category

Boys are flies, girls are lollipops

A few days ago, the arabist posted this piece of Hijabi propaganda:

The text reads: "You won't be able to stop them (i.e. guys), but you can protect yourself. He who created you knows what's best for you!"

Oh, where do I begin? Should I start with the "Men are flies" example, the MEN who made this employed, describing themselves? Or with the complete disregard to personal responsibility of men when it comes to sexually harassing females theme  of the ad? Or Is it with the paternal tone that god, who created you naked, really really wants you covered for your protection from his other perfect creation? Or should I not even bother, given that there is a joke there about lollipops and licking that I am simply not man enough to make on this blog?

Yeah. maybe I just won't bother. I am tired of fighting with Hijabis. If they don't find this offensive, then maybe they do deserve whatever comes their way. What's the point of yelling at men that women are not pieces of meat to be coverd, when the Hijabis hold that same exact view of themselves? I mean, sure I am offended by the idea that they are portraying men as uncontrollable animals, but if the women who wear the Hijab and are in the majority are ok with it, why should we even care if they get sexually harassed or assaulted by those same men?

There used to be a point in fighting over this. I am just not sure those women are worth fighting for anymore!

What Saad Al Harriri should've done

Today is the day Michael Sulliman gets appointed president of Lebanon, ending a tumultuous  year of political instability in Lebanon. We won't discuss here the compromise they've achieved, because I am sick and tired of watching M14 get their asses handed to them and then have them smile to the camera and claim that they are "not losing" and that "co-existence" has been achieved once again. Well, good for you Saad: They get to keep their weapons, the favorable arabic popular opinion and power over the country, while, you, well, you get to not have your downtown business disrupted. Ohhh….Great fuckin win. I mean sure, Having Aoun realizing that he won't ever be President is nice and all, but given how discredited he is, this is no trophy!

Now, if I was Saad, and I wanted the armed Shia faction of my population disarmed and without support, well, I would be facing two big problems:

1) Hezbollah has a ton of weapons, and I have almost zilch in terms of weapons or militia.

2) Hezbollah is championing the palestinian cause, and that's getting him support on the arab street.

So, what I would need is a way to get them to disarm, while eradicating their support in the arab street. Hmm.. now how would one do that?

Simple: Go to the palestinian militias inside the different camps, find the people leading the Fatah militia and make a deal with them: You will make sure they get more rights and work permits and abilities to improve their living conditions, and in exchange they would engage in a limited time armed conflict with Hezbollah, which you will also finance and support monetarily. You frame it all in terms of a greater war between sunnis and shhia, and you inform them that this is their chance to avenge their compatriots in Ghaza, by taking it out on the local Iranian-supported militia, the one that sides itself with Hamas in their goals (Hezbollah).

The Palestinians do have the numbers and the weapons, and they would probably do the fighting in exchange for some sweet deal that the M14 forces would give them. The confrontation between Fatah and Hezbollah would concentrate Hezbollah's resources and fighters on the various Lebanese refugee camps, and they will naturally spare no expense to win. Imagine the headlines as every lil supporter of Hezbollah because of Palestine turns the news to see the Hezbollah Shia killing the same Palestinians they claim to protect. Hezbollah's reputation gets instantly tarred, people-confused by what they are seeing- will start listening to people who will talk to them about the Zio-Iranian conspiracy and how the Shia are the thorn in Islam's side that needs to be removed in order for the religion to be whole again. The Entire arab world will turn on its Shia population in the areas that it could, and massive amount of aid and support will suddenly be bestowed on the M14 government, they who want to stop the Iranians from taking over arab land. It's a fantastic solution and given how stupid our population is, it can not fail. Sure, it's a completely immoral and unethical solution, has no respect for humanity, employs the dirtiest of propaganda sectarian tactics and will lead to the Sunni-Shia war and the eventual genocide of all the Shia in the arab peninsula, or vice versa, but hey, the situation would be resolved once and for all. How could that possibly be a bad thing?

"Make me a Muslim" reviewed

The people from the British channel 4 have created a new "Makeover" show, but with A TWIST: It's an Islamic Makeover show, called "Make me a Muslim" . Through the help of 4 experts (3 Imams and a female British convert) , 6 contestants get to experience life as muslims for 3 weeks, in the almost exclusively white and non-muslim town of Harrogate, in Yorkshire. The group includes a single-mom glamor Model, an atheist and white Taxi Driver who likes beer and porn, the girlfriend of a lapsed muslim who lives with him without marriage but wishes to be accepted into his family, and a gay guy who likes to party too much. The idea behind the show is that through islamic teachings, they will fix the lives of those morally-compromised individuals. You know, kind of like the way the 5 gay guys from "Queer eye for the straight guy" would come in to the life of boring heterosexual males and make everything "fabulous", without the fabulousness, or, like, the humor. But I digress, it's sometimes very very funny, although for very unintentional reasons (The Promo for the show is here, the first episode, on 5 parts, here).

Take the gay guy for example: The Imams decide to fix his gayness. How would they do that? Well, they told him at first that his problem is that he hangs out with too many females, so what he needs to do is to hang out with guys and do masculine things, and that will just push the gay out of him. Needless to say that this plan didn't work at all, although it did make the gay guy happy to be surrounded "by all of this testosterone". While he is playing his manly sports with muslim men (does cricket count as a manly sport? I guess it doesn't have a lot of physical contact with other men, so.yeah..anyway), the Imam decides that in order to further cure the gay guy, he would have to find him a wife. So he takes his picture, walks around the town and asks every female he sees (quite seriously I might add) if she would like to marry the guy in the pic, to which the females laughed hysterically and told the Imam to sod off. Later on, they decide to take him shopping to buy manly clothes, because, as one of the Imams put it, "if you dress like a female, you will act like a female". Clothes shopping as a cure to male homosexuality. Hmm..Well, at least give them credit for trying something new here. I am not sure that anyone before thought clothes shopping was the way to turn gay men straight.

Ignoring the comic relief offered by the gay guy, you have the other contestants whose interactions with the "Muslim 4" might not be as funny, but they are equally as disturbing. Take Karla for example, who is doing this because she would like to be accepted by the parents of her "bad muslim" boyfriend Ash. They have been dating for 2 years and they won't even meet her, so the girl, in her desperation, tries to enroll herself in this religious experiment, hoping that if his parents saw her trying they would meet her half way. They don't, and her boyfriend considers that a normal thing. Ok, so here is your chance young Imams to set things right, and maybe help bridge the culture gap between the christian british woman and the immigrant desi parents of her boyfriend, but do they offer to mediate between the parents, or condemn how xenophobic and judgmental they are being? Hell no. The Imam just gives her the "I know it's difficult speech", but offers no help nor insight to make it better. Even his compassion to her seems a bit out of courtesy, and his solace very superficial and hollow.

Oh, and then comes the home inspection, and this was just fantastic, because it starts with the Imam telling the audience that there is a misconception that "Islam is about taking things away from its practitioners, which isn't true", and then he and the members of the Muslim 4 proceed to do just that. They go from home to home of the people enrolled in the show, and start taking away and forbidding everything they deemed un-islamic. Porn? Check. Magazine showing scantly clad bikini wearing women? Check. Pork? Check. Alcohol? Check. Shared bedroom? Check. Skimpy outfits? Check. Men's magazines? Check. Touching? Check. Glamor Modeling? Check. Pink clothes for men? Check. Friendship with women? Check Checkity Check. And when one of the women asks why not the skimpy outfit, the Imam actually has the audacity to suggest that wearing it "would invite rape". Sure, the british chick immediately bites his head off, but that's another story. The damage was done.

The thing is, this show showed the Imams proposing that Islam may be the solution to Britian's moral decay, but didn't explain how or even show it in the course of the show. The Imams had no arguments, they couldn't fend off the criticisms leveled against them. They couldn't adequately argue one convincing point to any of those people why doing things the islamic way would make their lives any better. Hell, they were constantly beaten by the contestants, and instead of admitting defeat they would just say " This is how we do it in Islam. Just try doing it our way and you will see why it's better" and then smile empty smiles at their frustrated and not-at-all-convinced students. If this is an evangelical effort, then it is the worst I've ever seen, and I actually watched CBN at one point in my life, people. The Imams appear judgmental, uncompromising and without logic, while every step of the way claiming that "this is the way of Islam", which leads the viewer to the conclusion that Islam is without logic. How this is promoting Islam in the UK, I have no idea.

In conclsuion, make me a muslim is a joke, and so are the Imams in it who think they are advancing the word of allah through this show and promoting Islam. The show, which claims to be a serious effort, borders on comical at its shallowness. It showed Islam to be judgmental, dogmatic and intolerant. That there was no spiritual aspects to it all (hell, they spent about 10X  more time lecturing the contestants on their sinful ways then how to pray and the purpose of prayer), and that it's so based on dictation it's almost soulless. I looked forward to some convincing arguments, to some dialogue, to someone given the chance to be on TV who will say that we are not all crazy people with crazy rules, but all I got was 3 bearded men and a woman who appeared smug and superior and who kept acting like" if u r too stupid to be convinced by us, just do as we say anyway, because it's what's best for you". I don't know about the average viewer, but if I had nothing to do with Islam and that was my introduction to it, I sure as hell wouldn't turn Muslim, let alone have a good perception of the religion itself at all. This show is a failure and a disgrace, and deserves to be mocked, as it will be. Let's just hope there wouldn't be a second season.

The Bible vs. The Koran

The Battle of spreading the Holy Books is more intense than anyone would've thought.

The combination of globalisation and rising wealth is proving to be
a bonanza for both religions. The most prolific producer of Christian
missionaries, on a per head basis, is now South Korea. The biggest
Bible publishing houses are in Brazil and South Korea. An interlinked
global network of 140 national or regional Bible Societies pools
resources to reach its collective goal of putting a Bible in the hands
of every man, woman and child on the planet. The American Bible
Society, the biggest of the lot, has published more than 50m Bibles in
atheist China.

Saudi oil wealth is supercharging the distribution of the Koran. The
kingdom gives away some 30m Korans a year, under the auspices of either
the Muslim World League or individual billionaires, distributing them
through a vast network of mosques, Islamic societies and even
embassies. Go to FreeKoran.com and you can have a free book in your hands in weeks.

However…

Saudi-funded dissemination of the Koran, along with literature
promoting the stern Saudi understanding of Islam, may not have much
direct effect on Christians, or the unchurched. But it does increase
the relative weight, within Islam, of teachings which tend to sharpen
the Christian-Muslim divide. For example, traditional Muslim teaching
stresses those passages in the Koran which affirm the Christian Gospel
and the Hebrew Torah as valid revelations of God and paths to
salvation. But there is a harsher, Saudi-influenced view which insists
that since Muhammad delivered the final revelation, Christianity and
Judaism have lost their power to save.

And that is the branch of Islam that I have the biggest problem with. The Saudi view's prevelance has grown to such a degree that you can never get a straight answer from Imams now on whether or not Jews and Christians are infidels or people of the book. It's kind of like the Milk question and nutritionists: Does any of you know anymore whether Milk is good or bad for you?

I rest my case.

The distortion is of epic proportion, and so is the intolerant attitude. Long gone is the Islam of tolerance and respecting the religious rights of the country's christians and jews. Can any of you name a middle-eastern country where the christian inhabitants don't feel prosecuted by their muslim counterparts? How about a generally Islamic country. Does that work? No? How about we ignore christians and jews, and stick to islamic branches: How about a country where the sunnis don't oppress the shia, or the shia don't screw over the sunnis? I couldn't find one either. Whether we like it or not, Islam has developed a reclusive, closed ghetto mentality, mimicking those who have spent lots of money to turn it this way. But this may end up being their own undoing in the end…

The third big advantage is the West's belief in religious
freedom—guaranteed in America by the constitution, and in Europe by an
aversion to religious persecution caused by centuries of it. The
heartland of Islam, by contrast, is theocratic. The Saudi Ministry of
Islamic Affairs, Endowment, Call and Guidance employs 120,000 people,
including 72,000 imams. Saudi Arabia bans non-Islamic worship and
regards attempts to convert Muslims to another faith as a criminal
offence. Pakistan has witnessed the attacks on Christian missionaries.
Sudan punishes “religious deviation” with imprisonment.

Christian Evangelists complain that this creates an uneven playing
field: Muslims can build giant mosques in “Christian lands” while
Christians are barred from distributing Bibles in Saudi Arabia and
Iran. But uneven playing fields tend to weaken the home players. Open
competition is a boon to religion: American Evangelism has flourished
precisely because America has no official church. And theocracy is
ultimately a source of sloth and conservatism. “The Book and the
Koran”, by Muhammad Shahrur, which tried to reinterpret the Koran for
modern readers, was widely banned in the Islamic world, despite its
pious tone and huge popularity.

The stagnation in Islamic thought, fueled by the strict and stringent wahabbi interpretation, has been bearing fruit for the past few years, and we are seeing this in the Fatwas being released by so called islamic scholars. Hell, the majority of the current AlAazhar Ulamaswere previously hired and indoctrinated in Saudi Islamic Universities, which led the majority of them to adopt the more conservative Wahabbi interpertation, instead of Al Azhar's more moderate Al Ash3ary one, which is dying in the institution as we speak. This is why we are now getting Breast-feeding fatwas. Liberalization of Islamic thought and modus operandi may be essential now, but soon enough, with the direction it's been taking, it will be crucial for the religion's survival.

The First Islamic Car

It's gonna be produced by Iran. What makes it Islamic? Well, it will be manufactured by three Islamic Nations (Iran, Turkey and Malaysia) and it will include decidedly Islamic features: It will contain a Prayer Rug, a Mecca-pointing compass and a "Koran Holder", just in case you feel like reading the good book while driving. The news is welcomed by the thousands of Muslims who are sick and tired of driving Italian Catholic cars or German and American protestant cars ( we are not even gonna mention the cars made by the asian infidels here), and wanted a car that shared their religious beliefs. The people are complaining though  that the car doesn't segregate between the men and women riding it, and therefore isn't truly Islamic. The company claims that segregating the car would be impractical from an engineering point of view, but promises to install vice sensors in the upcoming models that will blare an alarm saying"GOD IS WATCHING YOU, BITCHES!" in case a man and a woman got within touching distance from each other.

Onwards, Islamic people! 

The Teddy Bear Lady charged in Sudan

For inciting religious hatred. See, I told you , you can't name a cuddly toy after our Prophet without us getting mad at you. But what's really amusing is the school's response:

Several Sudanese newspapers ran a statement Tuesday reportedly from the
school, saying the administration "offers an official apology to the
students and their families and all Muslims for what came from an
individual initiative." It said Gibbons had been "removed from her work
at the school."

While despicable, I believe the school's action is understandable: They don't want to get killed, especially not over a freaking Teddy Bear, and in Sudan, especially in this case, that's actually a possibility. Would you wanna lose your life because of a Teddy Bear political crisis? 

And of course, no such crisis could take place without someone screaming the words "conspiracy" or "plot", right? Well, let's scan the news report, yada yada yada, ohh, there we go:

Although Khartoum officials played down the case and said it was an
isolated incident, Sudan's top clerics said in a statement Wednesday
that the full measure of the law should be applied against Gibbons,
calling the incident part of a broader Western "plot" against Islam.

HA. TOLD YOU SO. Allright. Ok. On Familiar grounds once again.

The Sudanese clerics said this was blasphemy and believed it was intentional.

"What has happened was not haphazard or carried out of ignorance, but
rather a calculated action and another ring in the circles of plotting
against Islam," the Sudanese Assembly of the Ulemas said the statement.

"It is part of the campaign of the so-called war against terrorism and the intense media campaign against Islam," they said.

So, naming a Teddy Bear Mohamed in a classroom for 7 year old's is part of the war on terror? It's connected to the Media campaign against Islam? Really? Well, if it's a plot and it involved the media and Islam, then the Jooz must also be behind it. Those damn Joooz.

Seriously though, I think someone is suffering from a heatstroke over there!

No christians please part 2

The discussion over the Sabaya cafe's decision to ban christian girls from entering it has reminded me of something that I've long forgotten: the reason why they don't allow christians in, is because Islam views non-Christian women the same as strange men. Hell, according to this Fatwa, it's not just christian women who good muslim veiled girls shouldn't be exposed to: 

If she is in the presence of trustworthy
Muslim women, her nakedness is only between her navel and knees. As for
what is above that, such as her chest, it is permissible for her to
uncover it in front of them, as often happens with nursing women. As
for if she is in the presence of:

  1. a non-Muslim woman, or
  2. a Muslim woman who is wicked through extramarital sexual intercourse (Ar. zina), or
  3. a Muslim woman who is wicked through lesbianism,

then it is not permissible for her to expose any of her body except
that which shows during work, this being: her head, neck, arms up to
the upper arms, and legs up to the knees (Tuhfa, 7.194,200). However,
it is better for her to cover herself [m: more than what is strictly
required] because a non-Muslim or wicked woman might describe her to a
man who is not permitted to look at her.

Ahh, see, there is LOGIC to it after all. If the good muslim chickas allow christian girls to see them uncoverd, the evil ungodly christians can go and tell men how the muslims girls really look like under the veil, and that could lead to…ehh..them imaging how the girls may look like under the veil. And that's just wrong. Very very bad.

Joking aside, this does have some serious conequences to me on the personal level, and for the entire country as well. The personal consequences to me has to do with my plan to change the current Image of Islam as a violent terrorism religion to the old image of Islam of it being just a sexist misogynistic one. There used to be a time, not long ago, when people would react to my revelation to them that I am a muslim with "Islam? Isn't that the religion where a man can have 4 wives?" instead of the current "Islam, isn't that the religion where people just blow shit up?" response, and I believe we can bring those days back again. We just have to market it right, and I figured the best way to do it is to flaunt the islamic perk of having more than one wife at a time by putting a 21st century spin on it. Something along the lines of "Islam, the religion of threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes", you know? Cause what's the point of having two wives if you can't have threesomes, right? But, unfortunately, according to this Fatwa, the muslim women can not be naked in front of non-msulim women or women with lesbian tendencies, so that plan is all shot to shit. Can you imagine if that wasn't the case? Men all over the world would be converting like that!

And as far the implication to us as a good ole isalmic society, one has to realize that this means that the majority of women are sinning without even knowing, and some of them who do know can't even help it. Just think about it: Female Bathrooms and Locker-rooms. It's used by both Muslim and christian women, which means that there are many muslim girls who were described by their evil christian counterparts to strange men, because, u know, they have nothing better to do with their time. This also means that in a true Islamic society, there would have to be separate changing rooms and bathrooms for Muslim and Non-Muslim females in every sporting club, Gym, restaurant and public Place. Just imagine: A nice lil sign next to the bathroom that says "Muslims only" next to it, or "No non-muslims allowed". Yes. That's the way to do it, and until we do this we are just freakin western-wannabe heathens who don't care about the honor and modesty of our women.

On another note, can you imagine what Human rights organizations, or CAIR, would do if in a western country there was a bathroom- we are not even talking cafe here, a bathroom- with a "No Muslims allowed" or "Non-Muslims only" sign next to it?

Hmm… 

On the Jihad revisions

Al Masry Al Youm newspaper has been running for about a week now a number of documents titled the Jihad revisions, where Ayman Al Zawahiri's old buddy, and the architect of modern Jihady perspective, Dr. Sayed Imam aka Dr. Fadl, decides to correct the misconceptions of Today's youth, and instead publishes his latest Brainfart on the proper way to conduct Jihad in the world.

Now, depsite the fantastic headlines of the revisions so far, such as "Muslims killing muslims is very very bad" and "One shouldn't attack tourists for what their governments have done", I do have some reservations. Not exactly reservations, ehh, more like questions really, and only in two areas: 

1) Howcome when Al Masry Al Youm published those documents, they didnt attempt to debate or analyze them at all? And why are they only taking the opinions of people who were or are members of islamic Jihad movements on them? Why not regular folks? Maybe throw some liberals in there? Maybe a socialist might have a different perspective on things, besides the "this is a very good thing" spin that the Al Masry Al youm seems to be, ehh, spinning? You know?

and more importantly, 

2) Why, in the name of Zeus' butthole, is something called the "the correct guide to Jihad" being published in a mainstream egyptian daily in the first place? Is Jihad Ok now? Oh, there is a correct way to do it? A righteous way to kill for Islam? Is that the message we are sending to the public now?

What the fuck is wrong with those people? 

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