I got this e-mail today from my friend in Lebanon, and i felt I just had to share it with all of you:
Greetings rom the bekaa, where my spoken Arabic is really improving these days, thanks especially to the party of god. Three of their goons just came to the house for a two hour visit. I said I would only answer their questions if they corrected me when I spoke so I turned it into a dars Al arabi. The guy who was asking all the questions – the bad cop, if you will – said in mild disbelief 'ana almtik arabi?' (I'm going to teach you Arabic?) and then proceeded to correct my grammar and pronunciation (even at times providing verb conjugations) throughout the excruciatingly boring process, which included questions like 'ah, so you visited a friend in Italy in 2004. Who was he? Only for Christmas? What does he do?' He photographs skateboarders… 'what do you do here? I study and cook during the day, and sew at night,' at which point I held up one of my micro-dresses I had been showing off to the neighborhood ladies this afternoon.Or 'what do you like to eat in lebanon?'
They kept saying that this was all for my own security so I imagine that now that they have my photo and my food preferences on file and everyone in the village knows me, in case someone who didn't get the 'stranger in our midst' memo comes up to me on the street offering a shawarma, all the shabab will jump in to protect me, saying 'NOO!!! she only eats falafel!'
I will admit I slowed down the process a bit by writing a flash card every time a new word popped up in our conversation.
I will also say they should thank their lucky stars for the donations of sophisticated anti-aircraft weaponry etc they are getting from other countries because their local intelligence agents were truly not impressive.
Not that it matters because the whole village is HA but they just lost the votes of this household. My fake Lebanese aunt just said 'fuck HA' before she went to bed, and she doesn't say much in English.f
and then this addendum in a seperate e-mail titles " And I forgot to add.."
Worst of all, one was wearing double denim!!! Correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure that is labeled haram in the first or second sura of the quran, if not in the preface, author's note or even the front cover.