Rules of modern Invasion: In order to effectively invade a country (what do you call the blowing up of borders and the forced entry of hundreds of thousands of foreigners if not an invasion), what you need to do is put the women and children in the front. This way, the people on the border you are trying to get over would be forced to shoot at women and children in order to stop you. And if you are Egyptian considering this as some sort of exaggeration of the situation, one has to wonder what your reaction would've been if the people blowing up our borders and storming in were Israelis: would it still be ok in your books? There is a silver-lining to all of this though: it gives us the blueprint to do what we want and get away with murder. I say we should gather up all of Egypt's poor and march them towards the Saudi borders, cause, u know, they are our arab borthers and their living conditions are better than ours. We will send women and children first, and have them swim over, which the media will give some fancy name for, some Red Sea-Moses-let-my-people-go analogy, "crossing the divide" or " Channeling People Power" or some bullshit like that, and then we can effectively take over Saudi, or at least Jeddah. Yeah, that should work. LIBERATE MECCA!
This was all premeditated: Hamas has been cutting the wall for a month now, preparing for it to come down on the eve of the Palestinian factions conference hosted by Hamas in Syria. This was done in order to maximize the media attention to Khaled Mesh3el and his gang of Syrian-Iranian-backed cronies, thus giving them more of the spotlight than they would've ever received. This is a PR stunt, a Hamas PR stunt to be exact, and as always, the Palestinian people are being used as props and tools, but not only them. The Egyptian Left was used as well. The Muslim Brotherhood had arranged far too quickly a demonstration in downtown Cairo, which they of course invited the leftists over, because, you know, Islamists and socialist Marxists are like two peas in the same ideological pod, right? Right. The MB knew about this, and they were very quick to support Hamas, not because the Palestinians are suffering, but because they really want the Hamas project to work out, you know, them being the first Muslim Brotherhood government in the region. Good on you leftists, you are being used, once again, for the advancements of the goals of the Muslim Brotherhood. Were you always such stupid political whores, or is this just the case of really wanting to matter once again? I am curious. Let me know.
The Palestinians are the Gods of the PR game: No one, and I mean no one, have the ability to manipulate the media like the Palestinian authorities. I mean seriously, mucho respect to y'all. I mean, did you see that picture of Haneiyah having a cabinet meeting lit by candle-light? Or the way the women and children looked like, as they crossed the border as the wall fell down? Or the "People Power" branding they gave the entire thing? Yes, cause I am sure the Palestinian government did not store enough fuel for itself in cases of emergency, or that the fact that the words "People Power" showed up in every fuckin
blog post and news item covering this debacle was merely a telepathic coincidence amongst all the writers the world over. I love it. Gives me the warm fuzzies all over, you know?
The people aren't as hungry or suffering as you all claim: A Palestinian-american friend of mine just came back from visiting his grandparents in Gaza ( just jumped over the fence and back he said, no one is controlling the borders apparently), and he was telling me how the entire "they are hungry people looking for food" headline story is a crock of shit. He laughingly told me that they are buying motorcycles, mattresses and TV's and other such basic survival needs (the media is confirming it if you think I am lying you big morons), and how some of his family members after going to Al Areesh-on the first day of the "people power" event-for vacation mind you, were like "This is Areesh? This sucks! Gaza is better!" and then went back the next day. He also told me that the price of the AK 47 in Gaza has now dropped to a measly 400 JD's. There is apparently too much supply to the demand. Yay for Open Borders!
Israel's plan is now clear: The Israelis want to throw Gaza on Egypt, and Hamas is playing into their hand. The moment Mubarak, in order to save face of not being able to secure the country's borders, said that he is letting people in cause "they are hungry" (wink wink, nudge nudge), the Israelis were like "well, if you are gonna do that, you get to keep them. They are your responsibility now" and then probably danced in glee. Not gonna happen cousins, they are not yours to give or ours to keep. This is your and their's problem, not ours, and they are still your responsibility. Sorry kids, but we are not going back to the days of Pre-1967. You took over those areas, you can't give them back to us 40 years later after its run by Iranian-backed- Muslim Brotherhood Islamists who are armed to the teeth. Pottery Barn rules apply here too Israelis: You broke it, you are just gonna have to buy it.
The world is still filled with useful idiots: Nothing makes my heart warmer than American leftist hippies chanting slogans in 4X4 beat or declaring Support for Hamas. Yes, yes, Viva Viva Intifada, indeed.
- Egypt is planning its own disengagement: File this under fantastic unconfirmed rumors my friend. A good source of mine informed me that he was just in a meeting where an agreement for a second Sinai canal was made, one that would separate Sinai from Asia (and thus Gaza) permanently. The proposed Canal will benefit both Egypt, Jordan and Israel financially, and will provide a water replenishing source for the Jordanian Dead Sea, which ahs been losing water for quite some time now. It's initial phase will cost 15 Billion US dollars, and according to the source 12 Billion of which are coming from Qatar. This should give Gaza a second beach and a second port away from the Israeli navy, which should enable them to get all the goods they ever need through ships and not resort to blowing walls. I do propose giving the Palestinians a piece of the action though, cause otherwise they will start shooting at commerce ships passing through until they do get some money out of it. Their apologist then will claim such actions as being done "out of the desperation caused by the humanitarian crisis", so I am sure y'all would understand.
The people from the British channel 4 have created a new "Makeover" show, but with A TWIST: It's an Islamic Makeover show, called "Make me a Muslim" . Through the help of 4 experts (3 Imams and a female British convert) , 6 contestants get to experience life as muslims for 3 weeks, in the almost exclusively white and non-muslim town of Harrogate, in Yorkshire. The group includes a single-mom glamor Model, an atheist and white Taxi Driver who likes beer and porn, the girlfriend of a lapsed muslim who lives with him without marriage but wishes to be accepted into his family, and a gay guy who likes to party too much. The idea behind the show is that through islamic teachings, they will fix the lives of those morally-compromised individuals. You know, kind of like the way the 5 gay guys from "Queer eye for the straight guy" would come in to the life of boring heterosexual males and make everything "fabulous", without the fabulousness, or, like, the humor. But I digress, it's sometimes very very funny, although for very unintentional reasons (The Promo for the show is here, the first episode, on 5 parts, here).
Take the gay guy for example: The Imams decide to fix his gayness. How would they do that? Well, they told him at first that his problem is that he hangs out with too many females, so what he needs to do is to hang out with guys and do masculine things, and that will just push the gay out of him. Needless to say that this plan didn't work at all, although it did make the gay guy happy to be surrounded "by all of this testosterone". While he is playing his manly sports with muslim men (does cricket count as a manly sport? I guess it doesn't have a lot of physical contact with other men, so.yeah..anyway), the Imam decides that in order to further cure the gay guy, he would have to find him a wife. So he takes his picture, walks around the town and asks every female he sees (quite seriously I might add) if she would like to marry the guy in the pic, to which the females laughed hysterically and told the Imam to sod off. Later on, they decide to take him shopping to buy manly clothes, because, as one of the Imams put it, "if you dress like a female, you will act like a female". Clothes shopping as a cure to male homosexuality. Hmm..Well, at least give them credit for trying something new here. I am not sure that anyone before thought clothes shopping was the way to turn gay men straight.
Ignoring the comic relief offered by the gay guy, you have the other contestants whose interactions with the "Muslim 4" might not be as funny, but they are equally as disturbing. Take Karla for example, who is doing this because she would like to be accepted by the parents of her "bad muslim" boyfriend Ash. They have been dating for 2 years and they won't even meet her, so the girl, in her desperation, tries to enroll herself in this religious experiment, hoping that if his parents saw her trying they would meet her half way. They don't, and her boyfriend considers that a normal thing. Ok, so here is your chance young Imams to set things right, and maybe help bridge the culture gap between the christian british woman and the immigrant desi parents of her boyfriend, but do they offer to mediate between the parents, or condemn how xenophobic and judgmental they are being? Hell no. The Imam just gives her the "I know it's difficult speech", but offers no help nor insight to make it better. Even his compassion to her seems a bit out of courtesy, and his solace very superficial and hollow.
Oh, and then comes the home inspection, and this was just fantastic, because it starts with the Imam telling the audience that there is a misconception that "Islam is about taking things away from its practitioners, which isn't true", and then he and the members of the Muslim 4 proceed to do just that. They go from home to home of the people enrolled in the show, and start taking away and forbidding everything they deemed un-islamic. Porn? Check. Magazine showing scantly clad bikini wearing women? Check. Pork? Check. Alcohol? Check. Shared bedroom? Check. Skimpy outfits? Check. Men's magazines? Check. Touching? Check. Glamor Modeling? Check. Pink clothes for men? Check. Friendship with women? Check Checkity Check. And when one of the women asks why not the skimpy outfit, the Imam actually has the audacity to suggest that wearing it "would invite rape". Sure, the british chick immediately bites his head off, but that's another story. The damage was done.
The thing is, this show showed the Imams proposing that Islam may be the solution to Britian's moral decay, but didn't explain how or even show it in the course of the show. The Imams had no arguments, they couldn't fend off the criticisms leveled against them. They couldn't adequately argue one convincing point to any of those people why doing things the islamic way would make their lives any better. Hell, they were constantly beaten by the contestants, and instead of admitting defeat they would just say " This is how we do it in Islam. Just try doing it our way and you will see why it's better" and then smile empty smiles at their frustrated and not-at-all-convinced students. If this is an evangelical effort, then it is the worst I've ever seen, and I actually watched CBN at one point in my life, people. The Imams appear judgmental, uncompromising and without logic, while every step of the way claiming that "this is the way of Islam", which leads the viewer to the conclusion that Islam is without logic. How this is promoting Islam in the UK, I have no idea.
In conclsuion, make me a muslim is a joke, and so are the Imams in it who think they are advancing the word of allah through this show and promoting Islam. The show, which claims to be a serious effort, borders on comical at its shallowness. It showed Islam to be judgmental, dogmatic and intolerant. That there was no spiritual aspects to it all (hell, they spent about 10X more time lecturing the contestants on their sinful ways then how to pray and the purpose of prayer), and that it's so based on dictation it's almost soulless. I looked forward to some convincing arguments, to some dialogue, to someone given the chance to be on TV who will say that we are not all crazy people with crazy rules, but all I got was 3 bearded men and a woman who appeared smug and superior and who kept acting like" if u r too stupid to be convinced by us, just do as we say anyway, because it's what's best for you". I don't know about the average viewer, but if I had nothing to do with Islam and that was my introduction to it, I sure as hell wouldn't turn Muslim, let alone have a good perception of the religion itself at all. This show is a failure and a disgrace, and deserves to be mocked, as it will be. Let's just hope there wouldn't be a second season.
Cause, you know, people who aren't despotic dictators the world over were busy..
Fuck, even Al Gore would've been better than this guy.
What do you think are American misconceptions about Russia?
Well, you know, I don't believe these are misconceptions. I think this
is a purposeful attempt by some to create an image of Russia based on
which one could influence our internal and foreign policies. This is
the reason why everybody is made to believe, like, it's O.K. to pinch
the Russians somewhat. They are a little bit savage still, or they just
climbed down from the trees and probably need to have their hair
brushed and their beards trimmed.
Chip on shoulder much? No wonder he is such a dick!
Hmm.. so what do the AlArabiya people have to say about us today?
Let's see, shall we?
A state of martial law is declared in the City of Asna because 2 Christian males were caught engaging in "illicit activities" with a muslim female. The people suspected that the 2 christian guys were having sex with the female in a store, so they attacked the store, apprehended the 2 guys, sent the girl home to her family, burned down the shop they were in and destroyed the glassfront of the Pharmacy they worked in. The article says that the mob was furious because the 2 guys promsied the girl 100 EGP for "sexually pleasing them", which means the girl is a prostitute. Moral of the story? Don;t have sex with prostitutes from a different religion, that's just asking for trouble. Unless they are christian prostitutes. Those are fair game!
The Egyptian authorities have just arrested a group of people that allegedly belong to a new Islamic sect called the Ahabash. They are 22, 8 were arrested and 14 were getting interrogated as we speak, including 3 lebanese and get this, one Khazakhestani. The sect supposidly encourages getting blessings from Cemeteries and tombs of dead people and praying without washing up first. The charges they are being investigated with include: 1) being memebrs of an unauthorized organization, 2) disdain for religion and- my personal favorite- 3) carrying printed materials that contains their ideological beliefs, that could be read by other people later on. Reading. Very bad for you!
Egyptian Islamic Intellectual "Dr." Zaghloul Al Naggar- lovingly dubbed Zaghloul "el Fashar", because he just makes shit up all the time- is accusing the Christian church of actively trying to convert Muslims to christianity, which is very rude according to him. Actually, his exact words were "Provocation" and "attack on Islam". He claims that bitching about religious conversion from Islam to christianity is legitimate and not hypocritical at all since Muslims don't actively try to convert people while christians seem to have an organized effort doing so, and that most people convert to Islam because they are drawn to it themselves, while those who convert to christianity are doing it out of 1) opportunisms, 2) abduction and 3) Lies. But remember, he is not provoking or attacking christians. He is just telling it how it is.
And finally, a fantastic story of love, idiocy and murder, where a man killed his bride on her wedding night, actually stabbed her to death, because he couldn't break her hymen, and thus thought it wasn't there. Enraged that he married a "used woman", Mr. 2 inch Penis proceeded to stab her and slit her throat, and then ran away. He was later apprehended, and taken to jail, where he was informed that the autopsy report showed that the girl indeed was a virgin and with an intact hymen and that he is a colossal fucking asshole. He is now serving a Life sentence in egyptian prisons, where- if there is a kind and just god- he will get analy raped for the remainder of his years for what he did.
Now, you don't think that the AlArabiya people are slightly biased against Egypt, do you? Nahh..that would be crazy conspiracy talk, right? Not intentional at all, No?
Al Masry Al Youm newspaper has been running for about a week now a number of documents titled the Jihad revisions, where Ayman Al Zawahiri's old buddy, and the architect of modern Jihady perspective, Dr. Sayed Imam aka Dr. Fadl, decides to correct the misconceptions of Today's youth, and instead publishes his latest Brainfart on the proper way to conduct Jihad in the world.
Now, depsite the fantastic headlines of the revisions so far, such as "Muslims killing muslims is very very bad" and "One shouldn't attack tourists for what their governments have done", I do have some reservations. Not exactly reservations, ehh, more like questions really, and only in two areas:
1) Howcome when Al Masry Al Youm published those documents, they didnt attempt to debate or analyze them at all? And why are they only taking the opinions of people who were or are members of islamic Jihad movements on them? Why not regular folks? Maybe throw some liberals in there? Maybe a socialist might have a different perspective on things, besides the "this is a very good thing" spin that the Al Masry Al youm seems to be, ehh, spinning? You know?
and more importantly,
2) Why, in the name of Zeus' butthole, is something called the "the correct guide to Jihad" being published in a mainstream egyptian daily in the first place? Is Jihad Ok now? Oh, there is a correct way to do it? A righteous way to kill for Islam? Is that the message we are sending to the public now?
What the fuck is wrong with those people?
I thought this was an anamoly, but it seems that it is part of a much wider campaign. Which begs the question: Does Israel really want to start a war with Egypt, or are they just using us as a diversion and a place for Israelis to focus their anger on? Cause I would hate to think that the Israeli military machine is so adamant to fix its broken ego from going to a war that they couldn't win last year against a militia with no military targets, that they are just looking for a country that does have viable targets to bomb. Like Syria. But the Syrians are Giant pussies and refused to act when attacked. So, is it Egypt's turn now? Would it be wise to inflame a country with over 80 million people and 10 million in the armed forces alone?
I would like to know.
Also, the egyptian press hasn't caught wind of this yet. I wonder how their reaction will be once they hear about it.
Q: Why is this story of the egyptian army's seizure of land and homes not reported in the egyptian media or anywhere on the blogsphere?
A: Because critisizing the army in any way can land you for at least year in jail. Plus, whatchu gonna do? Call them thieves? Can't really steal what you already own, and they own all of our asses. You know why? Cause they got guns and we don't. Yay for Gun Control Laws.
…reading egyptian state-sponsored newspapers condemning Musharaaf's state of emergency and control of the media in Pakistan. Egypt, thy name is Irony!
Ok, so let's get this straight: Musharraf declares a state of emergency, and shuts down the media and deposes a Judge he doesn't like. The Judge urges people to protest , the people go nuts and European nations froze aid and Bush can't make up his mind on what is more important: The War on Terror, or Democracy. In the midst of all that, my Pakistani Friend M. Chaudrey just sent me this, which gives you the view of how it's like to be living in Pakistan at the moment:
Its so frustrating. Absolutely nerve wracking. You sit at home, you
switch on the T.V and all you can watch is fashion T.V, music videos
and Hollywood and Bollywood movies.
No news. The screen is just
a black void when you switch to the channels where news spoke; where we
learned about what was going on in our country. Our nation.
And no one in the nation has any real idea about what is going on.
father calls and asks whether the rumors are true. The rumors that
Musharraf himself has been the victim of a coup. A coup on top of a
As my brother puts it, thats Coo-Coo.
are abound and we get our news from the time delayed internet websites
and from people living in Dubai who are still able to watch Pakistani
news transmissions. Musharraf has denied allegations of a coup. He says
thats the most ludicrous "joke".
I can think of a better joke than that.
It is so unbelievably frustrating sitting in the dark. Not knowing what is going on.
we all have conspiracy theories. Because right now thats the only thing
keeping us alive. Letting us believe that we DO know what is going on.
Bhutto landed on Saturday night from Dubai to Karachi. She rushed back
here to tell the world and our nation (I don't know how she planned to
do that since we get no news!) that this was the worst move Musharraf
So, whats new?
But people are talking. And rumors and conspiracies are spreading like wildfire. The following is the one that i think is true.
landed with a big smile on her face, as seen by people living abroad on
their T.V screens. Why is she back? She could've given her press
conference from Dubai right?
But if Musharraf wants to save face
with the American government-and the American people- he will make
Benazir his prime minister. And himself as President. And Chief of Army
He will not give up his uniform and will remain the dictator. And she will become the face of democracy.
How will the American/World media spin this?
made a mistake by declaring emergency rule. He will remove it. Martial
law will remain in place. But he will say that since Benazir's party is
the biggest and most famous party in Pakistan, she should be PM.
And he will instate her as such.
She will graciously accept it.
And the world media will say, okay look the people loooove Benazir, she
is the PM, so TECHNICALLY, there is democracy in the country.
then Benazir will have Musharrafs illegitimate child but the child will
turn out to be the son of Benazir's brother and not Musharraf's and
Musharraf's wife will kill Benazir by throwing her off a cliff but
Benazir will not die. She will live and go skipping in the fields with
Musharraf's twin brother who is her "real" lover and they will go and
sing "oh baby pomp up the jam," a song from a bollywood movie.
For once, I agree with what Musharraf says.
This is a "joke of the highest order." (www.geo.tv)
But this is our state.
Until the T.V. flickers back on to the "real" news. News that will no
longer be free. It is now going to be government controlled and
censored under more than 20 new "media regulation" laws.
Here we are now, taking two steps back.
And yes, no news is drivng me crazy.
..because the death toll in Iraq has been decreasing significantly. More than a 30% drop in deaths actually in the past 6 months. How about that?
A drop in violence around Iraq has cut burials in the huge Wadi al
Salam cemetery here by at least one-third in the past six months, and
that's cut the pay of thousands of workers who make their living
digging graves, washing corpses or selling burial shrouds.
Dhurgham Majed al Malik, 48, whose family has arranged burial services
for generations, said that this spring, private cars and taxis with
caskets lashed to their roofs arrived at a rate of 6,500 a month. Now
it's 4,000 or less, he said.
The Poor guys. They should form a Union and demand more attacks from the government or something. Oh and Iraq is not improving. No sir. It's a failure. And it won't get better. That's what the media you watch tells you, right?
Yeah. Make sure you listen to it. It doesn't lie at all!
Well, Independent ones, anyway. The daily ones didn't appear yesterday and the weekly ones will not publish throughout the week. This is the latest development in the crisis between the Press and the Government.
Egypt's newspapers conducted a silent
protest against the government by withholding their publications from
newsstands on Sunday. Both independent and opposition newspapers joined
forces in the one-day protest against the government's crackdown and
imprisonment of journalists in the country. The move comes as a leading
editor is due to return to court on charges of defamation. The charges
come after his paper, Al Dostour, reported on rumors that President
Hosni Mubarak was ill or possibly dead in August.
newspapers withdrew from the atmosphere of freedom in the victory day
for vague reasons and because of pressures from an unknown power,"
wrote the pro-government Rose El-Youssef newspaper in opposition to the
Pressue from an unknown power. Right. Yeah, don't count on Al Ahram, or Al Akhbar to join the protest either. There sued to be a time- until very recently- they would've, but not anymore!
You been to the Daily News (formerly the Daily Star) website lately? They are so void of new and interesting content (and quite possibly visitors), that their Today's most read section has stuff from 2006. Actually, let's go over the dates together: December 9 2006 , February 20 2007 , November 7 2006 , and April 19 2007 .
Daily Star people, we are in September 2007. Get with the program, hire new people, whatever. Just do something!
There is a new show on MBC called "On the road in America", where a group of young arabs get into an RV and travel across the nation. The idea is to present the arab world with a more positive image of the US. And it seems to be working, at least on one of them:
Before visiting the United States, Amr disliked the U.S. and worried
everyone would think he was a terrorist. But said he was surprised that
most people were friendly and interested in learning more about him.
Now that Amr is home in Cairo, he is trying to share his new optimistic American perspective with friends and family.
But some remain unconvinced, he said.
The people who are making this show say that it has more credibility because it's privately funded, rather than the US state department initiatives. However, just a quick glance on the Board of Layalena, the company producing the show, can make any good conspiracy theorist' skin crawl:
It was produced by a nonprofit company backed by a string of
Washington heavyweights — Republicans and Democrats — including former
President George H.W. Bush, who aim to fight negative stereotypes of
America in the Arabic-speaking world.
The company, Layalina Productions Inc., has a board that boasts such
names as former secretaries of state Henry Kissinger and James A. Baker
III and former U.S. Representative Lee Hamilton.
Kissinger and Bush. Yeah, that will go well!
…when you watch the news on Anna Nicole Smith's funeral not on Insider or ABC News even, but on BBC news. BBC!!!!
WTF is going on with that? Is it a slow news season or something?
The Egyptian government lashes out against critics of the AbdelKarim verdict. After all, how dare those HR people have a differing opinion than that of the egyptian government? Blasphemy!
But it's not all bad news. Ibrahim Eissa beat the case against him and overturned the verdict of one year in jail for insulting the President. Abdel Karim's appeal court case is on the 18th of March y'all. Let's hope we hear good news then as well!
Al Zarwaa is no longer on TV, and I am pissed off. This was a great channel. Utterly psychotic. They showed explosions and dead bodies and terrorist acts in the making and ran videos of how great and brave Saddam was. Now that's reality TV for ya. And what even sucks more is that the egyptian government pussy footed around it. Instead of taking a stand against terrorism by announcing that they banned the website for its psychotic content, they claimed "technical problems" were the cause for the shut down. Wussies!
The Shia are not having fun in Egypt, or so says this story. I believe it. It's just the sign of things to come!
And finally, a story about the strikes the workers been waging and their victories. Knowing how shitty their wages are (less than 40 dollars a month) and how badly they are treated, this heartless capitalist says: Good for them. Keep it up guys and more power to ya! It doesn't seem like the strikes will end soon!
I know, I know. It's old news, but seriously, have you seen her Syria interview? Check that shit out here!
I still can't get that song out of my head! Damn you Mahmoud El 3eseily! Damn YOU!