So, about that metal Bikini…

So here I was, scrolling down on my homepage in my effort to take notes to the things I want to change (I am planning a re-design), when I stumbled upon that picture of Princess Leia in that Golden Bikini. Looking at that picture, I found myself wondering: So, why,exactly, was Leia dressed in a metal bikini in that scene? What exactly does it imply? I mean, if it was supposed to signify Leia's new slave status, then the metal neckbrace and chain would've been enough, right? Why would she have to be dressed in that outfit, unless she was more than just an oridinary slave? And then the horrifying possibility hits you: Was Leia Jabba's sex slave? Did he do..ehh..things to her? And then you remembered his tentacles, and images only fitting to be found in Japanese Hentai demon porn suddenly emerge in your mind, and EWWW…

So, I set out on a mission, to try to find any information on said scene and backstory. Yeah, 66,000 websites drooling over Leia in a metal Bikini, and not a single one of them contemplates the reason why she was forced to wear it, and what it meant she had to do during her time in captivity. There were some clues in a website dedicated to Leia's metal Bikini, aptly called www.Leiasmetalbikini.com, fully dedicated to everything related to the infamous Metal Bikini and women who like to wear it and pose it (Holy shit there are many, and they are hot, too). The clues were in the introduction page. One from the Paragraph of the novelization of the Return of the Jedi, which said:

   "(Jabba) tugged, with his swollen fingers, on the chain attached to Princess Leia's neck.  The more resistance he met with, the more he drooled – until he'd drawn the struggling, scantily-clad princess close to him once more."

Which brings up the question of- if Leia's slavery had no sexual connetation, why would our boy Jabba drool whenever he got to show his power over our Princess? And it seems that I am not the only one who thought their relationships was more than just slave and master, because (and here comes the second clue), the people who run the website also wrote this:

 After her daring rescue attempt to free Han Solo from Jabba's Palace, Leia was discovered and taken prisoner.  But instead of sending her to the dungeons, the debauched Hutt added the beautiful princess to his harem . 

Hmm.. Debauched..hmmm….Harem. Yep, as Yucky as that might be, I am lead to the conclusion that Leia, during her time of capitavity, was definitely used as Jabba's sexual playmate, who, in this case, is the first alien Life-form to exhibit interest in kinky BDSM sexual play with a human woman, and forces one to engage in such play with him. George Lucas, you depraved bastard you. Throwing that in a PG movie. Shame on you.

Come to think of it though, it does explain, not to mention justify, the utter brutality and complete lack of mercy that Leia exhibited in killing Jabba, and makes her using the metal chain he leashed her in to choke the life out of his bloated drool coverd body, well, kinda poetic. Good on Leia. Thumbs up.

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Dildo shopping

Cause that's what you do once you are done with Highschool musicals!

I heart Disney!

YouPorn is kicking Vivid’s Butt!

Given that we are talking about two porn provider, I probably should've gone with a more obscene title, but meh, the whole thing is funny. Nothing like a good old fashioned Pornwar.

Joy to the WORLD!

VERNE TROYER HAS A SEX TAPE. Mini-Me has a sex tape. with his girlfriend. Who is tall, not very tall, normal sized really, but a giant in Verne standards. AWESOME. I wanna see it. Does anyone know where I can download it? You think he uses his whole arm? I am a perv, I know, but goddamn it, human midgit celebrity sex. Now that's must-see TV! Fuck you Highschool Musical. Fuck you! 

For the Kinky amongst you

A list of all possible and improbably fetishes. Who knew there was a disabled people fetish?

Speaking of Sex in the City

This sextoy company has an entire line of inflatable dolls that look like celebrities. Here is Sarah Jessica Parker's:

 

They also have Eva Langoria, J-lo, Paris Hilton (yeah, cause nailing the real one is so hard), Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba and two Jessica Simpsons. Fun Times! 

Stalags

In case you are wondering what they are, well, they are Israeli BDSM Nazi comic Books where officers from the allied forces would be tortured and sexually abused by german female SS officers, and then they break free, rape those officers and kill them.

The Sandmonkey blog: Informative, educational, disturbing! 

Horny israelis block traffic..

..by having sex in the middle of the fastlane.

Now, it's not like I approve of or encourage that kind of behaviour, but…… They either know passion for each other so great that they just didn;t care about anything, or they are utterly shameless. I guess what I am trying to say is..I am jealous! Very Very jealous!

The Re-Hymenization Fatwa

The Egyptian Mufti- yes, that guy – just issued a fantastic new Fatwa: He said that it is Halal (permissible in Islam) for any female who lost her hymen for any reason to do the operation to have their hymen re-instated. His reasoning? Well, that the Islamic religion calls for Shielding yourself from Scandal (El Satr), and if a re-hymenization operation will do that, then Islam allows it. However, and I am quoting him here, "If a girl does this, she should not tell her Fiance of her operation, and the same applies to the married woman committing adultery, for she shouldn't tell her husbend that commited such an act." He states that this is not wrong or deceptive in anyway, since it aims at "maintaining family unity"- yes he used that excuse again- and "helping fornicating girls to have a second chance in life and be able to get married". That, apparently, makes it OK!

I love this stupid stupid man. He makes me laugh! 

A Gift to the woman you love

Well, if it's any consalation, Justin Timberlake seems to endorse it!