Archive of ‘Retardedness’ category

The Kindergarden fight continues

After realizing that his "Nu-uh, Not gonna!" response misses the certain zing necessary for his stature, Chavez just implied that his spat with the spanish King might just make him punish spanish investors in his country . Take that Juan. Tell me to shut up again. I dare you. I double dog dare you. Yeah man, I won't be disrespected. I am C-dawg, BITCH. How you like me now?

Now isn't this inspiring? Because the ceremonial leader of a country asked him to shut up when he should've, Chavez wants to damage 4 Billion dollars worth of investments in his country. Now that's a responsible leader, no?

On the other hand, this could all be a charade. Daniel seems to think so! 

On the impending danger of having israeli wives

I was reading the al amsry al youm today, and they had this little interview with a guy called Dr. Kharboush, who is apprently the head of the National Council for Youth, and who wanted to bring attention and awareness to the shocking news that there are about 10,000 egyptian men who married Israeli women. The man stated that this is extremly dangerous, and that marrying any Israelis, even the Israeli-arabs should not be allowed, and demanded a national campaign of education and awareness to combat that increasing problem.

Now, if anyone can explain to me what exactly the national council of youth is, and why the fuck its head thinks that he can tell egyptians who they can or can't marry, I would be greatly grateful. I am curious. I would like to know!

One Voice vs. The ISM

One Voice is another misguided Grass roots efforts led by people that think that the israeli palestinian conflict is one that people are interested in solving and that could be confronted if we all were united and demanded peace. This, of course, is horse poop, because this conflict has many people who have seriously vested interests in never ending it, starting from the palestinian and israeli leaderships (Yes, that includes Fatah, Hamas, Kadima, Likus and Labour), passing by the international Jihdy groups who use it as a fantastic recruitment tool for late-teens/ early-twenties kids who have nuttin better to do than hope to die for a cause  and arab governments that would collapse if no enemy such as israel existed, and ending with so called Humanitarian organizations who would lose both purpose and funding if the conflict was ever resolved. The latter is usually comprised of idiotic Hippies from western countries who want some sort of validation for their  socialist leftists beliefs so they go to Gaza and the westbank, buy and wear Koufeyas, take pictures with smiling palestinian children to be placed on facebook later, start rowdy demonstrations and attack IDF soldiers who respond in kind, and return home with "you don't know what it was like; I was there man. The Zionazis threw teargas canisters at me and shit" stories that validate them as experts on the palestinian-israeli conflict in front of their tofu-eating-Che-Guevara-Idolizing compatriots, and leave the Palestinians to face the aftermath of their actions.  

The International Solidarity movement is such an organization, and it chose to start a fight with the One Voice people, because they didn't take an anti-Israeli position, prompting instead fo demand peace and support for a two state solution. The One Voice people were going to Organize concerts, and of course the ISM started pointing at them and screaming "Zionist agents who want the palestinian sell away their rights and cause", which lead some crazy freaks from their compatriots to send death threats to arabic singrs who were supposed to perform and got the whole thing cancelled. The ISM people, adding insult to injury, decided to have their own concert on that samee day, which singers of course were not threatened at all. 

Funny how that works out.

Israeli film banned in Egyptian Festival

Apparently showing it in our Festival will be considered Normalization. 

 The organizers of the Cairo International
Film Festival that is scheduled to take place next February have banned
the Israeli film "The Band's Visit" from the event, Yedioth Ahronoth
reported Sunday.

A copy of the film, which tells the story of
an Egyptian band's visit to Israel, was recently sent to the organizers
of the film festival. "If we were to show this film, it would be
considered normalization (of relations with Israel)," organizers of the
Egyptian film festival said in a statement after viewing the movie.

According to them, the scene that
features the protagonist, Ronit Elkabetz, engaging in boisterous sexual
relations with one of the Egyptian band's members who is played by
Saleh Bakri is "shocking and will not be well-received" even though—it
is important to note—the racy scene is merely insinuated.

Oh, so it has a sex scene between an egyptian guy with a hot israeli jewish chick. Yeah, could see why that would be problematic. You see, that's how the Jooz want to sucker us into normalization: By showing us how hot their chicks are and how we can have sex with them. But thankfully, our  Actor's syndicate are on to the jooozzz, and are even protecting our gullible brothers in Dubai from the wiles of hot sexy israeli chicks.

In addition, following strong pressure
applied by the Egyptian Actors' Association on the administration of
the film festival in Abu Dhabi, "The Band's Visit," which was scheduled
to be screened at the festival, will not be shown at the event in
October.

Over the past weekend, the Egyptian Actor's Association sent a
strong warning to the organizers of the film festival in the emirate
saying that, if the Israeli film were to be shown during the festival,
the Egyptians would boycott the event.

Yeah. That's telling them! Natalie Portman, You are next!

Breastfeeding Fatwa Aftershocks

Remember the "Breast feeding Fatwa "? Yeah, me too. It drove me crazy not to write about it. Well, it seems that  even thought the idiot who issued it got fired from Al Azhar , there are some people who still take it seriously. Like This Algerian dude, who is threatehning his wife with divorce if she doesn;t breastfeed his visiting friend, since he will be staying with them throughout Ramadan. When the story came out, Shams El Deen Borby, one of Algeria's biggest Fatwa issuers, issues a warning against "Imported Fatwas". Cause, you know, Islamic Fatwas are regional and not universal.

Borby gets to put in a luagh though, with his proclamation that this isn't the first time such a case is presented to him. Apprently an Elderly Merchant once called him and told him that he has a young lucious girl working in his store. He also informed him that he had heard of the Breastfeeding Fatwa and really liked it, and wanted to "implement it" with the said employee.

Gotta love the Middle East! 

The Bin Laden Question

Well, the Intelligence community is looking for the answer. And no, no, it's not the question of where he is hiding. We all know he is hiding in wazirstan, and that he is alive and well, so well he married last year Hala el shobohsky from the saudi shobokshy family, so that question is no longer valid. The real question of the hour in the intelligence community, it seems, is that concerning OBL's new black beard.

Questions over the elusive Saudi extremist's beard cropped up at a
Congressional hearing Monday featuring top US security experts,
including Director of National Intelligence Michael McConnell.

"First, is this his beard?" Republican Senator Norm Coleman asked the spy chief. "Do we expect that — is it a signal?"

McConnell swiftly rejected any possibility that the hair in his chin was intended to send any signal to his Al-Qaeda members.

"So far, we do not think there's been a signal. He's done this
periodically, as has (Ayman al-) Zawahiri (the group's
second-in-command), and there has not been a correlation necessarily
between one of these tapes or a public statement and a particular
event," McConnell said.

But he wondered whether Bin Laden's beard was genuine.

"The big question in the community this morning, 'Is that beard real,'
because as you know, just a few years ago, the last time he appeared,
it was very different," he said.

"So we don't know if it's dyed and trimmed or real, but that's one of the things we're looking at. But no specific message."

Hehehehehe…. 

I really can't improve on that with a joke. No comment is the best policy here. 

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