Follow me on Twitter

If you don't already. I am mostly there!

Wanna get your sandmonkey fix?

Well, then you best scoot over there and check this out, cause this is where I will be blogging for the next 2 weeks. It's me, 7 other egyptian bloggers, blogging the crap out of the US and the elections. So if you wanna see the process through egyptian eyes, go over there and check it out. Check out my Sarah Palin's post right here while you are at it.

My Article on the riots for PJM

can be found here!

My Theme Song…potentially

Born from an egg on a mountain top

The punkiest monkey that ever popped

He knew every magic trick under the sun

To tease the Gods

And everyone and have some fun

Monkey magic, Monkey magic

What a cocky saucy monkey this one is

All the Gods were angered

And they punished him

Until he was saved by a kindly priest

And that was the start

Of their pilgrimage west

Monkey magic, Monkey magic

With a little bit of monkey magic

There'll be fireworks tonight

With a little bit of monkey magic

Every thing will be all right

Born from an egg on a mountain top

The punkiest monkey that ever popped

He knew every magic trick under the sun

To tease the Gods

And everyone and have some fun

Godiego, Monkey Magic 

Third Year going..

Happy Birthday to the Monkey… 

This blog turns 3 today! That makes it the longest time I've managed to do something consistently. And people say I have commitment problems. Pshhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sandmonkey Wisdom: 27/11/2007

Girls who tell you repeatedly that they can handle their liqueur and can drink you under the table are usually big fat Liars. So unless you wanna spend your evening cleaning puke, keep the Whiskey and Absinthe away from them, and keep them drinking fruity ass shit like Malibu or something. The girls who really can handle their Liqueur don't brag about it, they just keep their mouths shut until they DO drink you under the table. They are like the worst of farts: Silent, but deadly!

And I am up in the air, so Baby Hell yeah *..

*Jason Mraz rocks, and for those who disagree, y'all can bite me! 

Will be in DC this weekend. If you wanna meet up, e-mail me @ sandmonkey@gmail.com.

What being Libertarian is all about

For an easy to understand presentation on the Philosophy of Liberty, please go here!

Interviews

I've been interviewing lots of people for jobs lately, the following is my questions to them and some of their answers. Needless to say, after this, you, like me, will have a new found appreciation for the people who work in HR. Begad sa3baneen 3aliah.

1)The winner of the "completely irrelevant answer" category:

Q: What kind of a situation brings you down (meaning work)?
A:Ehh..when I see an old woman crying.


2)The winner of the "I've been a victim of Egyptian social engineering and I truly believe women to be inferior to men" category:

Q: What does being professional mean to you?
A: Working like a man. You know how men come to work and they just leave all of their problems at home? Women don't do that. They bring their problems and their emotional messes at work. I know that cause I do that. So I hope that one day I will be able to work like a man.


3)The winner of the "I couldn't blow that question more if I tried to" category:

Q:What are your strengths and weaknesses?
A:My strengths.. ehh.. I can surf the internet very well. My weaknesses..I have problems..ehh..working with women. I feel uncomfortable!


4)The winner of the "I need better friends and possibly therapy" category:

Q: How would an old friend describe you?
A: Faithful… Loyal… and smart. Definitely smart. They sure all come to me whenever they have a problem…which really pisses me off, you know? Cause they go out, have fun, and then cause a problem and then come complaining to me, which is fine..it's totally fine..but, I am like, where was I when you were having fun? How come was I not invited to the fun part? How come I am always the one who has to take all the shit afterwards? I don't mind listening to you and helping you out when you are having trouble, but also don't forget me when you are having fun!
Q: So you feel like your friends use you when they come to you with their problems while not calling you to have fun with them?
A: Oh no. Nothing like that. I feel as if they love me when they call me to share their problems. You have to love someone to be able to share your problems with them and expect them to solve them for you. So, no, it makes me happy. It makes me feel loved by them! (happy sardonic smile)
Q:………….Okayyyy then, next question…!


5)The winner of the "Let me try to flirt my way into the job, also known as the ' mateegy a2q3od 3ala 7egrak a7san' " category:

Q: How should supervisors and subordinates, in your opinion, interact?
A: (Seductively) The subordinates should always obey their supervisors..in everything. I'll do anything for my supervisor. Anything he wants from me. Annnnnyythhhhhing at all! (Leans over to show slight cleavage) They just have to ask!
Q: Fantastic answer! (So not getting the job)


6)The winner of the "Ana Ba7eb Mama" category:

Q: So, what is the most important thing in a job for you: High Salary or Job recognition and achievement?
A: Wallahy, the most important thing in a job for me is for it to be close to home. Asl Mama worries a lot!


7)The winner of the "I have self confidence wallahy, but I can't find it at the moment" category:

Q: What do you do when everybody thinks you are wrong, but you know you are right?
A: Well, the first question is, do I know I am right?
Q: What do you mean?
A: I mean, I would naturally ask myself if I am right. I mean, all those people can't be wrong, and I am the one who is right. So maybe I am the one who is wrong!
Q: (Mouthes what he writes loudly) Has no confidence in her opinions!
A: No, no, don't write that. I didn't mean it like that. It's just, who am I to be right while everybody else is wrong? I am young and inexperienced, so of course I will think they know better.
Q: Ahh..ok..let me scratch what I wrote then. (mouthes what he writes loudly) Has no self esteem!
A: No no no. I didn't mean it like that either. Please don't write that. Let me try again!


And last, but not least:

8)The winner of the "And here I thought it was bad customer service, tele3 el industry standard" category:

Q: So, a customer calls you and he is very very angry. What do you do?
A: I know this. I have been trained for this. I worked in a customer service call center, so I know exactly what to do.
Q: Ok..go on!
A: The first thing you do is to put them on hold for 5 minutes!
Q: (look of utter incomprehension)
A: Because it helps calm them down.
Q: Right!


Somebody shoot me!

Sandmonkey classic: Alcohol is your friend

It's the spirit of Ramadan people. Get on with it!

Off To Turkey

Will be in Istanbul tomorrow and the majoirty of next week. If any of you are from there, e-mail me!

On the latest arrests

My piece for PJM can be found here!

How sexy is your name?

Your Name Is Pretty Sexy! :)
Your name scored 134 in the "How Sexy Is Your Name Test"

My PJM piece on Abdel Karim is up

Here it is!

Breaking news: Abdel Karim gets sentenced

4 years in jail. 3 years for disdain for religions and 1 year for insulting the president. I am on my way back from there right now. I will have a report up in PJM and will be on BBC's world have your say talkin about it. Stay tuned! 

Found in my apartment

Nasrallah Coasters. How could you not love that? 

Where was the Sandmonkey that week??

No one really knows why the sandmonkey dissappeared for that week or where he was. However, here are some of the most recurring rumors regarding his whereabouts:

*Spent his time hiding in the sewers after getting stalked by Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson. Cause the ladies love the Monkey. They really really do!

*Was caught trying to jump from the Eiffel tower while screaming: "Ouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

*Hurt his back while trying to get in touch with his feminine side. They say with natural therapy and Yoga there is a chance he will be able to stick his head up his ass once more! Your Prayers are needed!

*Auditioned for the role of "the other arab guy" on Lost. Shows up to the casting call all dressed up as the Iron Sheikh. Gets banned from the ABC studio lot forever! 

*Wakes up from the Matrix. He is heralded as the One. Saves the world, gets with Trinity, settles down in a posh district in Zion and raises mini-ones!

*Had an epipheny and decided to form the International coaltion of Procrastinators, but still hasn't gotten around to it! 

*Friends and Family conducted an internvetion and sent him to rehab to combat his addiction to Sex, drugs, rock & roll and other american evils. No progress has been reported. Rumor has it he was released after convincing 3 nurses to "stop being so square" and "ride the fun wagon that is me".