Archive of ‘Women’ category

On Amy and Noby

Dear readers of this blog,

It is rare that one passes by a story such as that of Amy and Noby nowadays. It's a story of love, marriage and retardedness. It's a story worth sharing and worth telling, and it will be told right here. I will let the story speak for itself, and will interject my comments in between. This story, like all good stories like it, starts with a wedding:

When Amy Robson was a little girl, she dreamed of one day marrying her
ideal man in a traditional white wedding in a church close to her
Cumbrian home.

Last week, when she married internet cafe manager Mohamed El Sayed in Egypt, the celebrations were somewhat different.

Dressed in a gold sequined gown and gold jewellery, Amy, the
runaway schoolgirl from Cumbria who has just turned 18, beamed
constantly as she marked her nuptials to the 30-year-old man nicknamed
Noby with a party thrown by her new in-laws at their home 30 miles
outside Cairo.

She is 18, he is 30, and he works as an "Internet cafe manager". And that's just the beginning… 

And despite her family's fears over her future, Amy seemed in no doubt that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

Noby's friends, neighbours and dozens of family members gathered in the
flat in the town of Banha to watch the couple exchange silver rings.
They have spent just a few short days together, but Amy says she is in
no doubt that he is the love of her life.

Only a few days.. in no doubt that he is the love of her life…Ok, could happen. Keep going..

And as Noby's family fussed around her, proclaiming she had been 'sent to us by God', tears of pleasure coursed down her face.

"I'm just so happy," she said, wiping her eyes and gripping the hand of
her new husband for dear life. 'It's been an amazing day. It's a bit
overwhelming.

"I can't believe how welcoming and nice they have been to me here."

Okay… all is well so far…so how did it all start?

Their relationship began in April, when Amy first ran away from home.
She fled to the Red Sea resort of Hurghada to be with married boathand
Tamer Hossney, with whom she had become infatuated on a family holiday
the year before.

When she arrived, Hossney stood her up. But as an international search
began for the schoolgirl, within a day she had fallen in love with
Noby, who was running an internet cafe in the resort.

ehh….

An uneducated man with few prospects, he was at an age at which his
parents had begun to question why he had not married – and was
immediately smitten with the adoring young British girl who demanded
nothing.

Despite his speaking only a few words of English and her speaking no
Arabic, he said he knew immediately he wanted her to be his bride.

 And her passport had nothing to do with anything…

Since then, the pair have developed a means of communicating that is
somewhere between Arabic and English, involving a few words of each.

"A lot of the time I don't understand, but it doesn't matter," said
Amy. "He is teaching me a few Arabic words. It's really hard, though."

Instead of talking, they spend most of their time running after
one another in childlike games of tag, which leave both in fits of
giggles.

 Pain in my head..Blood pressure rising..

Amy's new husband does not want her to go out to work, so she will
spend her days indoors with the other women of the neighbourhood,
waiting for their men to come home.

As a young wife, she will not be allowed to go anywhere independently of Noby. And, as a fair-haired
Western woman, anywhere she does go, she will receive a great deal of attention.

When asked about the prospect of children, Amy confided she
would prefer to wait a while. Her new family, however, cooed that
children are a great blessing and said they hoped she and Noby would be
blessed soon.

And although he appears kind, looking after Amy as if she were
a child, Noby has taken her passport from her. So if her dream does
turn into a nightmare, she may find it difficult to escape.

You don't say? 

Yet for Amy – who is, after all, an adult capable of making her
own choices – none of this matters. When I expressed concern that she
would miss out on her own career, she said she had never been
ambitious.

Nooooooooooooo…I don't believe it.. Surely you are joking….

Until they travelled to Banha for the party, they had been sleeping on
the floor at Noby's brother Fauzi's flat. He works as a street hustler,
trying to attract tourists to buy horse-rides to the Pyramids.

He lives in a run-down block of flats in Cairo, with crumbling
walls, cramped living conditions and children playing in the dirt
outside.

Yet despite her less than salubrious surroundings, Amy insists
she has fallen in love with Egypt and is thrilled about her new life.

"I love it here – it's so much more exciting than at home," she
said. "I miss home sometimes, and Mum and Dad, but they don't
understand about Noby so I can't see them.

"I've emailed them but we don't speak on the phone and I didn't tell them I was getting married.

"If I'd stayed at home I might have gone to college, but I don't feel like I'm missing out. The only thing I
hate here is the food – it's really weird. I just eat a lot of pitta bread."

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEE

When asked what the future holds, Amy buried her head into Noby's shoulder and mumbled: "I don't know.

Questions about whether she will convert to Islam, her husband's religion, and begin wearing the veil brought the same reaction.

Noby plans to make a living by finding another internet cafe to run to
ensure his wife will never have to work, which he views as "not for
women".

He hopes to encourage Amy to eat Egyptian food because he would like her to become plump.

Fantastic..

Now, just in case you wonder how could she be this retarded, well, the story does offer a hidden clue:

Back home in the Cumbrian village of Beaumont, from which she first
fled to Egypt in April, her parents – James, 42 and Janet, 33 – are
desperately worried about their daughter.

Janet, her mother, is 33. Amy is 18, which means that Janet had her when she was 15, and thus got pregnant with her when she was 14. Yeah, good judgement doesn't really run in the genes of the females of her family, does it? 

Now, the comments on this story keep talking about how that story should be revisited in a few years and how it will show that girl's life turning into a nightmare, but , like, ehh, I doubt it. The Girl is stupid. She is dumb as a log. She escaped home cause she was in love with a boathand she met once (named Tamer Honsey, egyptian readers, notice that?), when she didn't find him she fell in love with noby, who couldn't even speak her language or she his'. She is not very bright, not very ambitious, and just wants someone to latch on to. And he will never let her go. It's perfect.

But noting that not many of you will share my outlook on this, which is "She is stupid, he is an opprutunist, they deserve each other", me and a few female friends from the US are planning to drive down to Banha come January and visit Amy to check up on her. We will bring her McDonalds with us as well, just in case she isn't sick to death of Pita bread by then. The girls think they can convince her of coming with them for a night out in Cairo, but I really doubt Noby will let her step outside the house at all. Chances are he will attack us with a knife or something. Should be interesting. Will keep you updated. And in case you want to join me on the "Bring Mickey D's to Amy" campaign, just e-mail me and we will arrange things. I am dead serious people. I am not gonna miss out on this shit!

Sexy vs. Smart

A leading Femenist sees a worrying trend in today's girls:

'The overwhelming lesson teenagers are now learning from the world
around them is that being "sexy" is the ultimate accolade, trumping
intelligence, character and all other accomplishments at every stage of
a woman's life,' said Liebau, a political analyst and the review's
first female managing editor. 'The new female imperative is that it is
only through promiscuity and sexual aggression that girls can achieve
admiration and recognition.' She cites films such as Cruel Intentions
and Mean Girls, the music and videos of Britney Spears, Christina
Aguilera and Lil' Kim, and advertisements such as the dominatrix-themed
campaign for the teenage fashion house bebe, featuring Mischa Barton.
'In a culture that celebrates Paris Hilton, thong underwear and songs
like "My Humps" – where the female singer expounds the sexual magnetism
of her breasts and buttocks – there's scant recognition or respect for
female modesty or achievement that isn't coupled with sex appeal,' she
adds.

What do they expect? It's the Sex and the City Generation. Hell, the smartest one on that show ended up with the shittiest life, while the sluttiest and sexiest one ended up with a really good looking younger lover/male model. What does that tell you if you are a young girl watching? In Today's culture, Intelligence is underrated, especially amongst women. I can't count the number of girls I know, really smart ones too, who seem to think that it's not necessary to read, or to sound intelligent, compared to like loosing those last  few pounds. And god knows the men aren't off the hook either. It's not like we encourage them to achieve their potential or anything. The Majority just want someone that's hot, stupid and eager to please in bed. So we end up with underachieving smart women, oversexed stupid men and a population that will get dumber by the minute. Maybe we are not that far off to the world of Idiocracy . We all seem to be heading that way anyway!

Marry an Israeli man, lose your egyptian nationality

Mofeed Shehab, the government's minister for legal and administrative affairs, has just clarified an important legal issue when it comes to Egyptian women: If they are married to an Israeli, and they have kids, the kids do not get the egyptian nationality, unlike their counterparts with Fathers from other countries. Why? Well, because, apparently, if they are married to an Israeli male, their egyptian nationality will be immediately dropped by the egyptian government. The same can not be said of egyptian males married to Israeli women, who continue to retain their nationality rights and their kids do get egyptian passports, even though their mothers are Jewish. Why? well, because we are retarded sexist pigs of course. Thought you knew.

However, egyptian women married to Israeli men shouldn't fret about being alone in the "Marry this man and your kids won't get a passport" category, because they are not. There is one other exception to this law, one other nationality that if our women get hitched to, their kids won't get an egyptian passport or nationality, and that's the Palestinians. In our own special way, we are making those two equals.

Nice, heh? 

No christians please part 2

The discussion over the Sabaya cafe's decision to ban christian girls from entering it has reminded me of something that I've long forgotten: the reason why they don't allow christians in, is because Islam views non-Christian women the same as strange men. Hell, according to this Fatwa, it's not just christian women who good muslim veiled girls shouldn't be exposed to: 

If she is in the presence of trustworthy
Muslim women, her nakedness is only between her navel and knees. As for
what is above that, such as her chest, it is permissible for her to
uncover it in front of them, as often happens with nursing women. As
for if she is in the presence of:

  1. a non-Muslim woman, or
  2. a Muslim woman who is wicked through extramarital sexual intercourse (Ar. zina), or
  3. a Muslim woman who is wicked through lesbianism,

then it is not permissible for her to expose any of her body except
that which shows during work, this being: her head, neck, arms up to
the upper arms, and legs up to the knees (Tuhfa, 7.194,200). However,
it is better for her to cover herself [m: more than what is strictly
required] because a non-Muslim or wicked woman might describe her to a
man who is not permitted to look at her.

Ahh, see, there is LOGIC to it after all. If the good muslim chickas allow christian girls to see them uncoverd, the evil ungodly christians can go and tell men how the muslims girls really look like under the veil, and that could lead to…ehh..them imaging how the girls may look like under the veil. And that's just wrong. Very very bad.

Joking aside, this does have some serious conequences to me on the personal level, and for the entire country as well. The personal consequences to me has to do with my plan to change the current Image of Islam as a violent terrorism religion to the old image of Islam of it being just a sexist misogynistic one. There used to be a time, not long ago, when people would react to my revelation to them that I am a muslim with "Islam? Isn't that the religion where a man can have 4 wives?" instead of the current "Islam, isn't that the religion where people just blow shit up?" response, and I believe we can bring those days back again. We just have to market it right, and I figured the best way to do it is to flaunt the islamic perk of having more than one wife at a time by putting a 21st century spin on it. Something along the lines of "Islam, the religion of threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes", you know? Cause what's the point of having two wives if you can't have threesomes, right? But, unfortunately, according to this Fatwa, the muslim women can not be naked in front of non-msulim women or women with lesbian tendencies, so that plan is all shot to shit. Can you imagine if that wasn't the case? Men all over the world would be converting like that!

And as far the implication to us as a good ole isalmic society, one has to realize that this means that the majority of women are sinning without even knowing, and some of them who do know can't even help it. Just think about it: Female Bathrooms and Locker-rooms. It's used by both Muslim and christian women, which means that there are many muslim girls who were described by their evil christian counterparts to strange men, because, u know, they have nothing better to do with their time. This also means that in a true Islamic society, there would have to be separate changing rooms and bathrooms for Muslim and Non-Muslim females in every sporting club, Gym, restaurant and public Place. Just imagine: A nice lil sign next to the bathroom that says "Muslims only" next to it, or "No non-muslims allowed". Yes. That's the way to do it, and until we do this we are just freakin western-wannabe heathens who don't care about the honor and modesty of our women.

On another note, can you imagine what Human rights organizations, or CAIR, would do if in a western country there was a bathroom- we are not even talking cafe here, a bathroom- with a "No Muslims allowed" or "Non-Muslims only" sign next to it?

Hmm… 

Saudi lies

When it comes to the girl who got sentenced for 6 month with 90 lashes after getting raped by 7 guys because she was in a car with another man, the saudi's offered this explanation:

"Then they were spotted by the other defendants as the woman was in
an indecent condition as she had tossed away her clothes, then the
assault occurred on her and the man," the statement added.

It said the sentence of prison and lashes, handed down last week
following an appeal, was legal and followed the "the book of God and
the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad," noting that she had "confessed
to doing what God has forbidden."

The woman and her husband were "convinced of the verdict and agreed to it," it said.

The husband, on the other hand, tells a different story. He says that his wife never confessed to doing anything wrong with that guy. That the only thing she confessed to was being with a strange man in closed quarters, and that the Saudi judges are trying to cover their asses by lying. He and the lawyer of the girl are saying that they intend to sue the judge and the judicial system until the girl's name is cleared. He said all of this on LIVE TV.

Does that sound like a man convinced to you? 

7 year old boy engaged to 3 year old girl

In Afghanistan . The boy is the first cousin of the girl, whose father agreed to the engagement since his sister never had any girls and wanted one, so he decided to give her his 3 year old as a present. This is apprently very common, even to the point that some children are decreed to marry each other even before they are born. You would think that the society, men and women, would be against this entire tradition, since it sucks to be spoken for before you are four, but it's still very popular. The men who end up marrying those women who are selected for them since they are children  can always marry a second and third wife if they are not happy, so they have really very little to complain of. It's the women who get stuck, many of which opting to commit suicide to end what must be a very miserable existence.

Oh, and the UN estimates that 43% of all Afghani marriages were like this one. Warms your heart up, doesn't it?

The New Face of Egypt

Is former Mrs. India and Bollywood actress Celina Jaitley. Oh yes. A Half Indian, Half Afghani will now be the official new face of Egypt. Imagine that!


“Acting is my passion,
my first love, whatever else I am doing are perks that I enjoy,” said the
actress who is just back from Egypt. Celina has been signed on as the Face of
Egypt and will act as a brand ambassadress for the Land of Pharoahs.

[...]


The actress is
keen that Bollywood starts making films in Egypt and has got necessary
permission from the Egyptian government for this.


“Egypt is fascinating
and has a rich and great historical and cultural heritage, much like India.
Bollywood should come and shoot here,” said the actress of Afghani-Indian
blood who looks like she’s from the Middle East and who zapped the
Egyptian tourism ministry with her knowledge of their culture, literature and
traditions to get the honour.

Ok, all of this is nice and well and all, but an Indian as the new face of Egypt? What? We don't have any beautiful women left in Egypt, that even the face of Egypt has to be outsourced from India? INDIA???? How the fuck did the Ministry of Tourism approve this? She is not even half Egyptian. And since when do we have Brand Ambassadors? Egypt is a Brand now? Then who the hell is the Brand Manager? We need to talk to this guy, he is fucking up big time!

I mean, fine, she is hot. But who says we don't have hot women in this country who may be willing to take on the role? Did the Ministry issue an open call for a "New face of Egypt" and I didn't hear about it? Wouldn't being an Egyptian be, like, a perquisite to being the face of Egypt? Am I missing something?

This is Bullshit! 

The secret (yet public) lives of arab girls

Youtube is a scary scary thing. One day you are at work and someone sends you a link to a video dubbed "sexy arab girl dancing", and you realize while you are watching it that this is a group of men who brought home a prostitue who is dry-humping belly-dancing for their pleasure . You then start looking at the other videos, and you encounter the following:

Girls doing the Khaleejy buttshakes in underwear: here , here and here . Sort of revolting, or at least not my type of sexy.

A Girl who apparently never thought she had to belly dance in her life for a man, who is making her do it in underwear

A very cute girl doing a very sexy dance to "A7lah 7agah feeky", even though she looks 16.

And finally two egyptian girls who are at a "sweet party" (egyptian girls have those women who come over at least once a month and wax their entire body using freshly made caramel- hence the word sweet), and dancing their way through their hair-removal in their underwear.

And a veiled gir, in a car, who somehow decides that she is going to do the Khaeejy buttshake while being seated in the car, to very peculiar results.

Now, I am not the least surprised by this. God knows I've personally seen worse, as any place as sexually frustrated as the middle-east has to produce some seriously kinky and pervy shit. And while God knows I am all for sexual expression, I can;t help but be surprised that these girls/women agreed to being videotaped doing so, and I wonder how they must feel right now, especially the "sweet chicks". This kind of thing isn't supposed to be for public viewing, yet here they are on Youtube. Do they know about this? Do they care? Was it done with their consent or behind their backs? It would be messed up if it was done behind their backs, but what if they are the ones who uploaded it? I mean, many of them aren't secretly videotaped, so they knew that someone was going to see this and they were ok with that. Does that mean they are the ones who did this to themselves? And if not, are they to blame for it?

Either way, this website is proving day in and day out to be very important, and not because they host videos of scantly-clad chicks shaking their asses. It's because it gives a very human glimpse of people's lives from every background to the whole world to see. Chances are the only image you've ever had of arab girls is that either of walking Ninjas or 1001 nights-style belly dancing fantasies. Well, those aren't fantasies. They are real girls and real women, and we were just allowed to catch a glimpse of their private lives. Whether that is good or bad, well, that's debate-able, but one thing is certain: the walls that divide our cultures and borders are crumbling online as we speak.

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