Actual Sabaya advertisement Poster

This is the real deal. The marketing poster of the Cafe/ Beautysalon that bans christians and non-Hijabi women :

 

Does anybody else love the fact that it's called the "Veiled beauty center"? 

No christians please part 2

The discussion over the Sabaya cafe's decision to ban christian girls from entering it has reminded me of something that I've long forgotten: the reason why they don't allow christians in, is because Islam views non-Christian women the same as strange men. Hell, according to this Fatwa, it's not just christian women who good muslim veiled girls shouldn't be exposed to: 

If she is in the presence of trustworthy
Muslim women, her nakedness is only between her navel and knees. As for
what is above that, such as her chest, it is permissible for her to
uncover it in front of them, as often happens with nursing women. As
for if she is in the presence of:

  1. a non-Muslim woman, or
  2. a Muslim woman who is wicked through extramarital sexual intercourse (Ar. zina), or
  3. a Muslim woman who is wicked through lesbianism,

then it is not permissible for her to expose any of her body except
that which shows during work, this being: her head, neck, arms up to
the upper arms, and legs up to the knees (Tuhfa, 7.194,200). However,
it is better for her to cover herself [m: more than what is strictly
required] because a non-Muslim or wicked woman might describe her to a
man who is not permitted to look at her.

Ahh, see, there is LOGIC to it after all. If the good muslim chickas allow christian girls to see them uncoverd, the evil ungodly christians can go and tell men how the muslims girls really look like under the veil, and that could lead to…ehh..them imaging how the girls may look like under the veil. And that's just wrong. Very very bad.

Joking aside, this does have some serious conequences to me on the personal level, and for the entire country as well. The personal consequences to me has to do with my plan to change the current Image of Islam as a violent terrorism religion to the old image of Islam of it being just a sexist misogynistic one. There used to be a time, not long ago, when people would react to my revelation to them that I am a muslim with "Islam? Isn't that the religion where a man can have 4 wives?" instead of the current "Islam, isn't that the religion where people just blow shit up?" response, and I believe we can bring those days back again. We just have to market it right, and I figured the best way to do it is to flaunt the islamic perk of having more than one wife at a time by putting a 21st century spin on it. Something along the lines of "Islam, the religion of threesomes, Foursomes and Moresomes", you know? Cause what's the point of having two wives if you can't have threesomes, right? But, unfortunately, according to this Fatwa, the muslim women can not be naked in front of non-msulim women or women with lesbian tendencies, so that plan is all shot to shit. Can you imagine if that wasn't the case? Men all over the world would be converting like that!

And as far the implication to us as a good ole isalmic society, one has to realize that this means that the majority of women are sinning without even knowing, and some of them who do know can't even help it. Just think about it: Female Bathrooms and Locker-rooms. It's used by both Muslim and christian women, which means that there are many muslim girls who were described by their evil christian counterparts to strange men, because, u know, they have nothing better to do with their time. This also means that in a true Islamic society, there would have to be separate changing rooms and bathrooms for Muslim and Non-Muslim females in every sporting club, Gym, restaurant and public Place. Just imagine: A nice lil sign next to the bathroom that says "Muslims only" next to it, or "No non-muslims allowed". Yes. That's the way to do it, and until we do this we are just freakin western-wannabe heathens who don't care about the honor and modesty of our women.

On another note, can you imagine what Human rights organizations, or CAIR, would do if in a western country there was a bathroom- we are not even talking cafe here, a bathroom- with a "No Muslims allowed" or "Non-Muslims only" sign next to it?

Hmm… 

Saudi lies

When it comes to the girl who got sentenced for 6 month with 90 lashes after getting raped by 7 guys because she was in a car with another man, the saudi's offered this explanation:

"Then they were spotted by the other defendants as the woman was in
an indecent condition as she had tossed away her clothes, then the
assault occurred on her and the man," the statement added.

It said the sentence of prison and lashes, handed down last week
following an appeal, was legal and followed the "the book of God and
the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad," noting that she had "confessed
to doing what God has forbidden."

The woman and her husband were "convinced of the verdict and agreed to it," it said.

The husband, on the other hand, tells a different story. He says that his wife never confessed to doing anything wrong with that guy. That the only thing she confessed to was being with a strange man in closed quarters, and that the Saudi judges are trying to cover their asses by lying. He and the lawyer of the girl are saying that they intend to sue the judge and the judicial system until the girl's name is cleared. He said all of this on LIVE TV.

Does that sound like a man convinced to you? 

7 year old boy engaged to 3 year old girl

In Afghanistan . The boy is the first cousin of the girl, whose father agreed to the engagement since his sister never had any girls and wanted one, so he decided to give her his 3 year old as a present. This is apprently very common, even to the point that some children are decreed to marry each other even before they are born. You would think that the society, men and women, would be against this entire tradition, since it sucks to be spoken for before you are four, but it's still very popular. The men who end up marrying those women who are selected for them since they are children  can always marry a second and third wife if they are not happy, so they have really very little to complain of. It's the women who get stuck, many of which opting to commit suicide to end what must be a very miserable existence.

Oh, and the UN estimates that 43% of all Afghani marriages were like this one. Warms your heart up, doesn't it?

The New Face of Egypt

Is former Mrs. India and Bollywood actress Celina Jaitley. Oh yes. A Half Indian, Half Afghani will now be the official new face of Egypt. Imagine that!


“Acting is my passion,
my first love, whatever else I am doing are perks that I enjoy,” said the
actress who is just back from Egypt. Celina has been signed on as the Face of
Egypt and will act as a brand ambassadress for the Land of Pharoahs.

[...]


The actress is
keen that Bollywood starts making films in Egypt and has got necessary
permission from the Egyptian government for this.


“Egypt is fascinating
and has a rich and great historical and cultural heritage, much like India.
Bollywood should come and shoot here,” said the actress of Afghani-Indian
blood who looks like she’s from the Middle East and who zapped the
Egyptian tourism ministry with her knowledge of their culture, literature and
traditions to get the honour.

Ok, all of this is nice and well and all, but an Indian as the new face of Egypt? What? We don't have any beautiful women left in Egypt, that even the face of Egypt has to be outsourced from India? INDIA???? How the fuck did the Ministry of Tourism approve this? She is not even half Egyptian. And since when do we have Brand Ambassadors? Egypt is a Brand now? Then who the hell is the Brand Manager? We need to talk to this guy, he is fucking up big time!

I mean, fine, she is hot. But who says we don't have hot women in this country who may be willing to take on the role? Did the Ministry issue an open call for a "New face of Egypt" and I didn't hear about it? Wouldn't being an Egyptian be, like, a perquisite to being the face of Egypt? Am I missing something?

This is Bullshit! 

The secret (yet public) lives of arab girls

Youtube is a scary scary thing. One day you are at work and someone sends you a link to a video dubbed "sexy arab girl dancing", and you realize while you are watching it that this is a group of men who brought home a prostitue who is dry-humping belly-dancing for their pleasure . You then start looking at the other videos, and you encounter the following:

Girls doing the Khaleejy buttshakes in underwear: here , here and here . Sort of revolting, or at least not my type of sexy.

A Girl who apparently never thought she had to belly dance in her life for a man, who is making her do it in underwear

A very cute girl doing a very sexy dance to "A7lah 7agah feeky", even though she looks 16.

And finally two egyptian girls who are at a "sweet party" (egyptian girls have those women who come over at least once a month and wax their entire body using freshly made caramel- hence the word sweet), and dancing their way through their hair-removal in their underwear.

And a veiled gir, in a car, who somehow decides that she is going to do the Khaeejy buttshake while being seated in the car, to very peculiar results.

Now, I am not the least surprised by this. God knows I've personally seen worse, as any place as sexually frustrated as the middle-east has to produce some seriously kinky and pervy shit. And while God knows I am all for sexual expression, I can;t help but be surprised that these girls/women agreed to being videotaped doing so, and I wonder how they must feel right now, especially the "sweet chicks". This kind of thing isn't supposed to be for public viewing, yet here they are on Youtube. Do they know about this? Do they care? Was it done with their consent or behind their backs? It would be messed up if it was done behind their backs, but what if they are the ones who uploaded it? I mean, many of them aren't secretly videotaped, so they knew that someone was going to see this and they were ok with that. Does that mean they are the ones who did this to themselves? And if not, are they to blame for it?

Either way, this website is proving day in and day out to be very important, and not because they host videos of scantly-clad chicks shaking their asses. It's because it gives a very human glimpse of people's lives from every background to the whole world to see. Chances are the only image you've ever had of arab girls is that either of walking Ninjas or 1001 nights-style belly dancing fantasies. Well, those aren't fantasies. They are real girls and real women, and we were just allowed to catch a glimpse of their private lives. Whether that is good or bad, well, that's debate-able, but one thing is certain: the walls that divide our cultures and borders are crumbling online as we speak.

What’s sexism in Korean again?

A South Korean female soldier, who got discharged after she had a double mastectomy to treat breast cancer on the grounds that the law prohibits soldiers who are missing body parts from serving, got reinstated by court order. The Ministery of Defense is planning an appeal, because, you know, what's the point of having women in the army if they don't have boobs?

Saudi females physically attack Virtue Police

Wohoooooooooooo..

Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and
Prevention of Vice were the victims of an attack by two Saudi females,
Asharq Al-Awsat can reveal.

According to the head of the commission
in Khobar, two girls pepper sprayed members of the commission after
they had tried to offer them advice.

Head of the Commission for
the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice in the Eastern province
Dr. Mohamed bin Marshood al-Marshood, told Asharq Al Awsat that two of
the Commission's employees were verbally insulted and attacked by two
inappropriately-dressed females, in the old market in Prince Bandar
street, an area usually crowded with shoppers during the month of
Ramadan.

According to Dr. Al-Marshood, the two commission
members approached the girls in order to "politely" advise and guide
them regarding their inappropriate clothing.

Consequently,
the two girls started verbally abusing the commission members, which
then lead to one of the girls pepper-spraying them in the face as the
other girl filmed the incident on her mobile phone, while continuing to
hurl insults at them.

Those 2 girls are totally my new Heroes! 

 

Breastfeeding Fatwa Aftershocks

Remember the "Breast feeding Fatwa "? Yeah, me too. It drove me crazy not to write about it. Well, it seems that  even thought the idiot who issued it got fired from Al Azhar , there are some people who still take it seriously. Like This Algerian dude, who is threatehning his wife with divorce if she doesn;t breastfeed his visiting friend, since he will be staying with them throughout Ramadan. When the story came out, Shams El Deen Borby, one of Algeria's biggest Fatwa issuers, issues a warning against "Imported Fatwas". Cause, you know, Islamic Fatwas are regional and not universal.

Borby gets to put in a luagh though, with his proclamation that this isn't the first time such a case is presented to him. Apprently an Elderly Merchant once called him and told him that he has a young lucious girl working in his store. He also informed him that he had heard of the Breastfeeding Fatwa and really liked it, and wanted to "implement it" with the said employee.

Gotta love the Middle East! 

Selling american Brides online

This is very clearly a Hoax (if you are still hopeful about it, read this article and weep, Perv),but it does raise some serious questions to me: What, exactly, are the limits for pedophilia in light of marriage through Parental consent? I mean, I know there aren't a lot of 13 and 14 year old Brides out there in the US, but they must exist. I have seen enough small backwater towns with its people's minds running on the loopy side to know that this is quite possible. Hell, all you need is a bunch of realy bad trash parents- and god knows there are plenty of them- with one extra daughter they won't miss and some money they could be using. So, according to the law: Man sleeps with 13 year old, that's statutory rape. Man marries 13 year old with the approval of her mommy and daddy, and sex with her is legal and ok? Does the Girl have to consent? Can a 13 or 14 year old girl make such a decision for herself? How does it all work, really?

And as for our side of the pond, what difference is the dowry from the Bride Price? I know that some people will like to recite the comfortable distinction that a bride price goes to the parents, while a dowry goes to the couple, but you and I know that this ain't always the case! Hell, until now there are cases of a women's dowry consisting of livestock in farmland egypt. Not to mention the dowry paid by rich arabs who come to egypt for 2 weeks to a month marriage to a poor you egyptian girlwhose parents could use the money, which happens more than any of us would like to admit. And the public consensus is: this ain't prostitution, because they are married in front of God and society. They have a contract, you see. That makes it all legit. But all in all ignoring the simple truth: You are paying for a bride to marry you. You negotiate the Price with her family. Whether this money is spent on the couple's house or kept by the father is irrelevant: In order to be with that woman and have her have sex with you every night, you had to pay lots of money. And the more you pay, the more your new mother in law can brag about how much her daughter is worth, and somehow not thinking twice about how truly fucked up or disgusting this whole thing is.

So here is a Business opportunity for you: a website selling Egyptian brides, and instead of bride price one writes dowry, and the men can bid their money away for the chance of being the first to "hit that". It would all be legal as long as a marriage contract got signed, and surely there wouldn't be an uproar about it. God knows in our society, the worst thing that could happen to a girl is for her not to be married, you know?

Hallal Russian Meat

A married Emerati Prince sees a cute young russian girl, 11 years his junior, working as a waitress in a resturant in the hotel he was staying in. It took a week to "woo her" and now they are married. While such news would usually prompt "russian whore" jokes (The Guy is a UAE prince, the country is rolling in them, talk about buying the cow..), I would like to bring your attention to a very important detail: The girl is Muslim. Her last name is even…wait for it…Muslimorova. Oh Baby!

The story has captivated Belarus's tabloids. Natasha is from
Azerbaijan and a Muslim. She told the newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda
that she had married her new husband for love.

The sheikh, 30,
already has a wife and five children, the paper reported. "I can't say
anything without my husband's permission… But for me life has become
a fairytale," Natasha told the tabloid: "I really love this man."

Can't say anything without her husband's permission, ehh? Well-trained already I see. Good for him them!

Yep, that one is a winner! 

On those reform minded Egyptian Judges

The mask comes off!

It's a fantastic day when you relaize that every person whom you viewed as a personal hero turns out to be an asshole in the end!

Hug a man, get fired

God bless the Pakistanis, they have the awesome ability to make every other muslim population look sane comapred to them!

Death by stoning in Sudan

The two women who are going to get this horrific punishment are from the Darfur area, didn;t speak arabic, had no Lawyer and their male partners naturally escaped punishment! Drima has it all coverd!

Female suicide bombers’s motivation

The Slate explainer answers that one for all of us!

The Sunni women’s rape case in Iraq

This story is all kinds of messed up. A sunni woman comes out and accuses 3 members of the iraqi secuirty forces of raping her, so the sunnis get outraged of course and demand an investigation. "US backed" Prime Minister Al Malki reaction: Fire the Sunni official who demanded the investigation, issue an arrest warrant for the woman and plans to reward the men. Even if the woman lied about the rape, which is Malki's excuse for his actions, something just ain't right here!

Wife-beating helps keep the family together

In some cases, and only in wife-beating cultures, as says Egypt's Mufti! (h/t Memz )

I love this guy. He and Mahdi Akef can provide me with houres of amusement! 

A Koranic smackdown

Carmen takes on those who keep telling her that she can't-as a muslim woman-marry her christian boyfriend to school, Koranic school that is, and delivers a beautiful smackdown on all of their asses. It was soo nicely done I almost felt bad for the idiots who provoked her! Almost!

I ♥ Carmen! 

Women can not run for president in Egypt

So decreed the Mufti. Gotta love this guy!

"I am not sexist, God said so!"

Riight!

Mecca Laalaa is back

In yet another Burqini story.

I still think her name is freakin made up!