I have known lots of foreigners living in Egypt throughout my life. For some reason- not that I minded of course- I was always surrounded by them. But lately I started wondering about them: What makes a foreigner- and by that I mean someone of European or American/Canadian/Australian descent because we know what the arabs and the refugees are doing here- come and live in Egypt? I mean I get the ones who visit, but why live here? So, I decided to put my anthropologist hat on, and take a closer look at the foreigners that pass by me, and make sweeping generalizations about the whole population. The results astounded me. My research-which wasn't scientific at all- has shown that there are three different types of foreigners that come to live in Egypt, each with their own habits, traits and even neighborhood. So without further ado, I present you with my findings:

1) The "I am here to make money" Foreigner: This is my favorite type of foreigner, because they come to Egypt full of purpose and they know exactly what they are doing here. This group includes foreigners who work for MNC's and Oil companies, Embassy officials, journalists who are sent here by their chief bureau, People who do whatever it is that Elijah and The Arabist do, and those are studying here because it's a way to get a specific job (like learning arabic in order to join the State Department or be a more hireable regional journalist or doing their masters in Polisci/Islamic Studies/Forced migration/whatever that will get them that cushy job in an American Think Tank or NGO). They are usually very smart and have their whole life planned ahead of them, which is refreshing to encounter in a country like Egypt. They live in Zamalek/Garden City if they don't have children and in Maadi if they do. They summer in Sharm Al Sheikh and el Gouna,  their favorite drug is Life, the desire for success and Alcohol, and their favorite egyptian book is "Beer in the Snooker club" by Wagih Ghaly- that is if they read books written by Egyptians at all. They hang out at extravagant Zamalek parties and sometimes the Ace club, they work out in the CAC campus and they know what's going on in Egypt more than the majority of Egyptians do, which is funny considering that they represent a tiny minority of foreigners here, especially compared to the "I am here to find myself" foreigner.

2) The "I am here to find myself" foreigner: Kind of self-explanatory, but let's give it a shot anyway: Those are the foreigners who tell you that they come to Egypt as part of some journey "to find themselves", but in reality are just looking to put their lives on hold for a bit and not grow up and be responsible like their fellow friends back at wherever they came from. They are usually mid twenties to early thirties, and they come to Egypt as part of a regional spiritual trip or an exchange program, and kind of never leave, mainly due to how cheap living in Egypt is compared to their life back home and the fact that here they get to retain the kind of adolescent social life they have enjoyed so much in college. They either have random jobs that offer shit pay and for which they are totally under qualified with their B.A. in 18th century Southasian philosophy (Check Nile FM, the daily news, the Ibn Khaldoun Center) or they do as every other foreigner who needs a job in Egypt does and become stringers for obscure newspapers and random news agencies, who usually don't require of you more than having the ability to write in half-decent English. Since they don't make that much money, they live either in  Mohandeseen/Agouza or in a houseboat in Kitkat, and they summer in Dahab and Nouiba3. They lead a very communal social life, with nights that boast events such as one of them coming back from a trip to Lebanon (of course) with lots of Alcohol or scoring a really good kind of Hash through their Bawab, and they will call each other and have a "gathering" whenever one of those life's little victories rears its shiny little head. They are usually major drug-fiends, so their favorite drugs include whatever you got on you, and they don't have a favorite egyptian book because they usually don't read (Paulo Coleho and Dan Brown are notable exceptions), opting instead to downloading episodes of "The Office" and "Weeds" off of the internet and watching them high as a kite. They used to hang out at the Greek Club, but ever since their new minimum charge policy of 45 pounds a person got implemented they stick to Estorel and Stella Cafe, and if they show up at L'aubergine for example they will have one beer only, unless you are paying, and then you shall discover their love for whatever is the most expensive shit that bar carries. The "I am here to find myself" foreigner has no shame, mainly because they believe themselves to be children of the Universe and that the Universe owes them something. So they will at first surprise you by their habit to ask the Universe for whatever it is they need, and when that naturally fails they will further surprise you by asking you for whatever it is they need. But other than that they are very nice people, and they eventually leave after spending between 3 to 6 years of their life in Egypt (unless you happen to marry one of them, you stupid dumb sucker), which makes them a much better breed than the final type, the " I am Egyptian" foreigner.

3) The "I am Egyptian" foreigner: That would be the type that drives me up the freakin wall, the foreigner who comes to Egypt, claims to have fallen in love with the country and wants to stay here to fix it. They exhibit certain similar traits to the "I am here to find myself" foreigner, only their condition is slightly more extreme. They usually have serious identity issues ( especially if they come from the US and super especially if from the south), and need a purpose in their lives that will give their lives meaning and piss off their parents (which is really their goal to begin with). They will go on diatribes about how this other foreigner you both know doesn't get Egypt like he/she "gets Egypt", and they will have dick measuring contests over who loves Egypt more. True story: I once encountered two such creatures once, roommates, the first said that its true that if you drink from the Nile you have to come back, while the other countered that this is not true, because if you drink from the nile, you never really leave Egypt, cause you leave your heart there. I informed both of them that they are both wrong, because as an egyptian would tell you, if you drink from the nile, you will end up in the hospital, because that shit is super polluted. Anyway… Their favorite american author is naturally Noam Chomsky, their favorite topic of conversation is the different Zionist lobbies in Washington and they say Inshallah and habiby every 20 seconds. Where they live is a tricky proposition, since they do follow a certain migration pattern that is depended on how "egyptian" they've become. They start by living in Zamalek their first year here, and then they will move to Downtown the following, citing the fakneness of Zamalek and the cultural richness of Downtown as their reasons. Their third year they move to a Houseboat in Imbaba ( they will say Imbaba with the same pride reserved for being hardcore egyptians, as if Imbaba isn't the area opposite of Seqouia), followed by a Bonus phase that not everybody takes of moving to Mukattam and discovering how awesome it is to take a Microbus to work(" Sure, I get sexually harassed and grabbed, but it only costs me 50 piasters for a ride. It's awesome"), before finally setteling in Al Haram, either in a street off of Faysal, or if they are truly willing to go the distance to prove their egyptianness, Omraneya. Their favorite Egyptian Author is naturally Ahdaf Suweif, because they are retarded and they think her orientalist drivel is actual literature (Alaa, I know she is your Aunt and everything, so please please please get her an Editor. In the Eye of the Sun is needlessly 450 pages man. There are 200 pages of her talking about her make-up and removing her hair using Halawah. I am serious man, someone needed to say it!), they will claim that their favorite singer is of course Oum Kalthoum, even though they usually don't understand what the hell she is saying, and their favorite hangout is the Ahwah (Shisha cafe) in front of their house if they are males and the houses of their middle-class Hijab-wearing egyptian housewife bestfriend if they are female. They rarely hang out with other foreigners- unless they are just like them, and even then it gets tense due to the aforementioned dick-measuring contests- and they would never be caught dead being seen in Zamalek or Maadi. Their favorite summer spot are Alexandria and Ain el Soukhnah, and they end up usually working as teachers in Language schools that just started a bullshit but overpriced American Diploma program and they needed any foreigner who look like a teacher in order to seem legit to the parents of their students. You can also identify them through their facebook albums, because at some point in their lives they passed by Gaza and took pictures with smiling Palestinian children, which they will show you while naming the children and telling you anecdotes of how cute and smart they are and how they formed a connection and told him/her that they never want them to leave, in denial of the fact that they are just one of the 30,000 foreigners that passed by those kids that year alone, and that they probably forget all about him/her ever existing, let alone their names. Oh, and their favorite drug is HASH, of course, cause, really, what's more Egyptian than that?

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments section! 

The following happened after I stopped blogging yesterday: Malek was released, we found out where Sharqawy was detained, there was a tiny protest at the Lawyer's syndicate in Cairo , and the city of Mahalla went on fire. Clashes erupted between the people and the police, shots were fired, over 100 detained and at least 2 are dead. Here is the story:

Egyptians angry with
the government about high prices set fire to shops and two
schools in a Nile Delta textile town on Sunday after police
thwarted plans for a general strike and countrywide protests.

Police fought battles through the streets of Mahalla
el-Kubra with the protesters, led by textile workers who tried
to go on strike for more pay to compensate for inflation.

The demonstrators set ablaze a primary school, a
preparatory school and a travel agency, among other shops in
the working-class town, and stopped an incoming train by
putting blazing tires on the railway tracks, witnesses said.

Police fired rubber bullets and tear gas to disperse the
protests. Some 40 people were injured and hundreds of others
had breathing problems from gas inhalation, security sources
said.

Protesters threw stones at police, attacked police vehicles
and tore down the posters of the ruling party's candidates in
Tuesday's local elections, witnesses said.

Hossam has more  

Sometime after 3pm, demonstrations broke out in El-Shoun Sq, chanting
against price increases.. Mubarak’s police fired on the demonstrators..
A man and a child were killed.. Police trucks attacked.. Buses caught
on fire… Mass round ups of activists and citizens… Ghazl el-Mahalla
labor organizers Kamal el-Fayoumi and Tarek Amin el-Senoussi are in police custody… Police gunshots heard throughout the town according to witness…

UPDATE: I’ve spoken with Kareem el-Beheiri,
who’s on the run now… Kareem says hundreds were detained today in
Mahalla including minors… Anyone nabbed was abused also by the police.
Children were beaten up with sticks, sacks full of rocks, punches,
kicks… Lawyers who showed up to defend the detainees were chased by
sword-wielding plainclothes police thugs… For more information about
the mass round ups of activists and demonstrators in Mahalla, Cairo,
Mansoura, Kafr el-Sheikh and elsewhere, please check out the Tadamon, April 6th Strike and the HMLC blogs, as well as Nora’s Twitter account…

UPDATE: Mahalla is under “unofficial” curfew,
according to an activist in the city I’ve just spoken with.. The town
is occupied entirely by Mubarak’s Central Security Forces who managed
to pacify the city by 10pm.. Citizens are instructed by microphones to
stay in their homes…

 I could write all about it, but I got pictures, and you know what they say, worth a thousand words and all, so check it out:

This is how Mahalla looked like. Streets empty and shops closed!

And then the police arrived, which got the clashes started, and it looked like something out of Gaza:

As you can see, all ages participated in the rioting….

..and genders… 

 Tear Gas was used to disperse the protesters

 A protester kicking away a canister of tear gas

 The people started burning tires in the streets

Some even burned down a Bus…

Some people were arrested 

And others heavily injured. 

For more pictures go here and here , and for more coverage, go here .

There are talks of a repeat strike the first week of May, so this may be all far from over! 

There is supposed to be some sort of strike on the 6th of April organized by Kifaya, the Karama and Wasat Parties and the workers of various government factories and ministeries. They are calling it the "Egyptian Intifiadah", cause, you know the Palestinian one worked out so well. Here is the text in English:

“All national forces in Egypt have agreed upon the 6th of April to be a public strike.
On the 6th of April, stay home, do not go out;
Don’t go to work, don’t go to the university, don’t go to school, don’t
open your shop, don’t open your pharmacy, don’t go to the police
station, don’t go to the camp;
We need salaries allowing us to live, we need to work, we want our
children to get education, we need human transportation means, we want
hospitals to get treatment, we want medicines for our children, we need
just judiciary, we want security, we want freedom and dignity, we want
apartments for youth;
We don’t want prices increase, we don’t want favoritism, we don’t want
police in plain clothes, we don’t want torture in police stations, we
don’t want corruption, we don’t want bribes, we don’t want detentions.
Tell your friends not to go to work and ask them to join the strike.”

You know, so far they had me on board, and then I read about the people that want to organize it, and what else is pissing them off:

After a meeting held and represented by Egyptian
people forces: Ghazl Al-Mahala workers (who are striking since last
year expressing their demands to increase their wages to be in line
with price hikes, their strikes were followed by a series of strikes by
many working sectors in Egypt); Al-Karama Party; Al-Wasat Party; Labor
Party; Kefaya Movement; the Bar Association; Educational Workers
Movement; Grain Mills Workers; they expect a positive
response regarding Moslem Brothers’ participation and support in the
strike.

The slogan of this campaign became wider than just
asking for better wages, whereas it included the “Political Change”:
they cited in their paper, it is against the tyranny of the regime. The
campaign is also against the regime’s foreign policy represented in
Egypt’s position towards Gaza and the Palestinian cause; exporting
natural gas to Israel with the lowest prices; strictly abiding by Camp
David Accords; and opposing Iraqi, Lebanese and Afghani resistance.

So the campaign is for our borders to be breached and our soldiers attacked, the end of peace with Israel, and in support of the Taliban, Hamas, Hezbollah. Al Qaida and Muqtada's Al Sadr's militia? A7a!! Really? Seriously?

Fuck that. I ain't playing with those assholes. I am going to my job, and so should any of you with two cells of logic or reason in your heads!

Have a lovely day! 

Well, the Intelligence community is looking for the answer. And no, no, it's not the question of where he is hiding. We all know he is hiding in wazirstan, and that he is alive and well, so well he married last year Hala el shobohsky from the saudi shobokshy family, so that question is no longer valid. The real question of the hour in the intelligence community, it seems, is that concerning OBL's new black beard.

Questions over the elusive Saudi extremist's beard cropped up at a
Congressional hearing Monday featuring top US security experts,
including Director of National Intelligence Michael McConnell.

"First, is this his beard?" Republican Senator Norm Coleman asked the spy chief. "Do we expect that — is it a signal?"

McConnell swiftly rejected any possibility that the hair in his chin was intended to send any signal to his Al-Qaeda members.

"So far, we do not think there's been a signal. He's done this
periodically, as has (Ayman al-) Zawahiri (the group's
second-in-command), and there has not been a correlation necessarily
between one of these tapes or a public statement and a particular
event," McConnell said.

But he wondered whether Bin Laden's beard was genuine.

"The big question in the community this morning, 'Is that beard real,'
because as you know, just a few years ago, the last time he appeared,
it was very different," he said.

"So we don't know if it's dyed and trimmed or real, but that's one of the things we're looking at. But no specific message."

Hehehehehe…. 

I really can't improve on that with a joke. No comment is the best policy here. 

Let's put this one to rest once and for all: I am still in Egypt. I am staying in Egypt. I am not in the US and I am not going to the US. Ok? Khalas? Eshta!

The mask comes off!

It's a fantastic day when you relaize that every person whom you viewed as a personal hero turns out to be an asshole in the end!

The Egyptian Mufti- yes, that guy - just issued a fantastic new Fatwa: He said that it is Halal (permissible in Islam) for any female who lost her hymen for any reason to do the operation to have their hymen re-instated. His reasoning? Well, that the Islamic religion calls for Shielding yourself from Scandal (El Satr), and if a re-hymenization operation will do that, then Islam allows it. However, and I am quoting him here, "If a girl does this, she should not tell her Fiance of her operation, and the same applies to the married woman committing adultery, for she shouldn't tell her husbend that commited such an act." He states that this is not wrong or deceptive in anyway, since it aims at "maintaining family unity"- yes he used that excuse again- and "helping fornicating girls to have a second chance in life and be able to get married". That, apparently, makes it OK!

I love this stupid stupid man. He makes me laugh! 

1. "OH MY GOSH! I just saw part of your hair, now you're obliged to marry me."

2. "I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam."

3. "To watch you pray is a sin of its own."

4."Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?"

5."You can't play basketball with a jilbab on, marry me, and we will go one-on-one our entire life."

6."Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part…"

7."Assalamualaikum, so what time does a Hoor Al-3ayn like you have to be back in Jannah?"

8. So, read any good Surahs lately?

9. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.

10. Would you like to see my collection of Bukhari's?

11. Lets get married so I don’t have to lower my gaze every time you walk in the room

12. I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.

13. Do you work for the FBI ? Because you've just abducted my heart.

14. Your father must be a terrorist, because you're da BOMB!

15. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long?

16. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?

17.. Are you a Shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "She aiight".

18. Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Madinah.

19. Girl, you fine. I see praying five times a day has paid off.

20. That's a nice burqa. Can I talk you out of it?

21. I need to break my fast. Can I have a date?

22. I didn’t trip over my robe, I fell for you.

23. I know Halal meat does a body good, but damn, how much you been eatin'?

24. You remind me of the Ka'aba..I could walk around you all day long.

25. Wanna pray in jamaat, shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?

26.You must be the Buraaq, because I wanna ride you all the way to heaven.( Thinking of taking this one out..)

27. "*guy looks under girls hijab* "sorry, i was looking for the made in jannah tag"

28. "After seeing you, the first thing I said was Mashallah. The next was Inshallah!"

The Aftermath of Gamayel's assassination :

 An angry Gamayel supporter holding his picture at the Hospital he was sent to.

 Angry christian protester starting a fire on the streets of Beirut.

 Two Gamayel supporters striken with grief over his death!

 Another fire started in protest!

Two Gamayel supporters holding his pictur and the Phalange flag! 

 Angry christian supporters stomping on a Aoun poster!

The Phalange flag and a fire. It speaks for itself!

Gamayel's car after the assassination

A lebanese security officer holding back an angry christian male from attacking a syrian taxi driver.

The same situation, only now you can see that the syrian's taxi back windshield is broken.

Angry christians burning garbage and using it to block the streets.

The streets of Lebanon on fire, literally! 

*Scroll Down for Updates* 

Pierre Gamayel, the anti-syrian current lebanese minister of industry, and the son of former lebanese president Beshir Amin Gamayel, was just assassinated. Shot in the head, pointe blank, on the streets of Beirut. Here is a yahoo news piece on this breaking news:

Prominent anti-Syrian Christian politician Pierre Gemayel was
assassinated in a suburb of Beirut on Tuesday, his Phalange Party Voice
of Lebanon radio station reported.

The shooting will certainly heighten the political tension in
Lebanon, where the leading Muslim Shiite party Hezbollah has threatened
to topple the government if it does not get a bigger say in Cabinet
decision-making.

Gemayel was rushed to a nearby hospital, according to the Lebanese
Broadcasting Corp. and the Voice of Lebanon, the Phalange Party
mouthpiece reported. The party later announced that he was dead.

Gemayel, the minister of industry and son of former President Amin
Gemayel, was a supporter of the anti-Syrian parliamentary majority,
which is locked in a power struggle with pro-Syrian factions led by
Hezbollah.

 It seems like Hezbollah's vow to topple this government one way or another has taken a new and deadly dimension. They will of course deny any involvement, and quite possibly blame the jews for it, but their game is getting tired. This could literally mean War on the streets of lebanon, since the Phalanges will seek revenge and a huge segment of the lebanese population who have had it up to here with Hezbollah may start targeting Shias immedietly. 

This will turn really ugly really fast! 

Update: Mustapha has a theory to why Pierre got killed!

Samir Geagea, another Christian anti Syrian leader had warned
a few days ago that the Syrians and their Lebanese supporters are
attempting to assassinate two sitting ministers to complement the 6
that resigned, so that the government will be automatically dissolved…

RIP Pierre! 

Update: Sleiman Ferngiah, one of the main pro-syrian figures in Lebanon, has just accused March 14 of killing Gamayel

Update: Another Lebanese Minister from the March 14 bloc, Michael Pharaon, had an attempt on his life houres after Gamayel got assasinated, when gunmen opened fire at his Al Ashrafieh office. He is a greek catholic.

Update: Abu Kais has lots of updates on the situation:

Tomorrow is Lebanon's independence day.

Update. Angry crowds are gathering outside the St Joseph hospital and chanting anti-Aoun and anti-Hizbullah slogans. As Anton Effendi said,
this assassination guarantees that any street protest now will devolve
into clashes. The Kataeb party, of which Gemayel is a member, is
calling on people to excercise self restraint.

With this assassination, March 14 has lost a member of parliament
and a cabinet minister. For the Assad regime, one less March 14 vote
means one less vote to ratify the international tribunal.

The eyes now are on the UN Security council, which must endorse the international tribunal as soon as possible

Update 2. Syrian-installed president Emile Lahoud
has canceled the November 22nd independence day celebrations to mourn
the loss of what he now referred to as a minister. Not long ago, he
considered Gemayel and the rest of cabinet illegitimate following the
resignation of the Shia ministers and the pro-Lahoud minister.

Meanwhile, Interior minister Ahmad Fatfat has accused Syria of standing behind Gemayel's assassination.

Update 3. Geagea has called on Lahoud to resign
immediately, accusing him of acting as a cover for the terrorist
attacks. He also called on the Amal and Hizbullah ministers to return
to the cabinet.

Update 4 (11am EST). The crowds outside the hospital are calling on people and March 14 to take to the streets.

Meanwhile, gunmen have fired shots at the office of another March 14 minister, Michel Faraoun in Ashrafieh.

It looks like March 14 is under attack.

March 14 leaders will meet tonight to decide on a course of action.

There is more. Go read it all.   

Update: Rita from Rampurple has a desperate plea to all lebanese.  

….for defaming the country's reputation by writing about the harrasment and persecution of christians in Egypt. Nice huh?

Reporters Without Borders today condemned the months of harassment by
the authorities in Qina (near Luxor, in central Egypt) that forced Hala Helmy Botros to close down her blog Aqbat Bela Hodood
(Copts Without Borders) about the persecution of the Christian Coptic
minority, and to stop writing on this subject for other websites.

Botros, 42, who wrote under the
pseudonym of Hala El-Masry, is now the target of a judicial
investigation and is banned from leaving the country.

Her Father was attacked..

In articles,
interviews and video reports online, Botros had accused the political
authorities and police of complicity in the attacks against Copts on 19
January when they tried to restore their church in the village of
Edyssat (near Luxor). Houses were burned and the church was destroyed
in the course of this violence, in which two Copts were killed and
several others injured.

Her posts clearly irritated the
authorities as first her phone line was cut and then her Internet
connection, forcing her to go to her father’s house to continue
posting. The authorities also placed her under surveillance. One night,
her father was beaten by two strangers who told him, “This is a present
from your daughter.”

The Police of course didn't help… 

When he went to the police station to
report this, the police got him to sign a blank sheet to which they
added a statement in which he appeared to accuse her of being
responsible for the attack. Botros reacted by filing a complaint
against the police officer concerned, Mahmoud Sabri, accusing him of
bringing false charges, but the case was not pursued by the authorities.

And she got banned from leaving the country…

On 15 June, she tried to fly to the United
States to attend a conference about the Copts in Newark, New Jersey,
but the authorities removed her from the airplane before it took off,
on the grounds that she was banned from the leaving the country. She
was questioned for several hours at the airport and ordered to report
to a state security court in Cairo on 25 June.

and her house raided and was taken to court…

Security agents
raided her home on the night of 22 June with the apparent intention of
arresting her, but she was in Cairo at the time. Her husband was forced
to go with them and to sign a statement guaranteeing that she would
report to the court three days later.

Botros went to the court with two
lawyers, Mamdouh Ramzy and Naguib Gobraeil, on 25 June. She was
questioned about her Internet posts and accused of “spreading false
news” and of “disrupting social harmony between the Muslim and
Christian communities.” She was released the same day after paying
3,000 Egyptian pounds (400 euros) in bail, but was questioned again the
next day.

So she finally gave in and shut down her blog. 

So, is it safe to say that any of us-egyptian bloggers- could be next?

Related:

A new Egypt

The arabist

Let's start with the local Blogger, Big Pharaoh, who thinks it's time to say that the IDF is equally stupid to Hezbollah. Hey man, You are preaching to the Choir here. Plus, what do you expect: They are our cousins. They are bound to share some of our stupidity genes.

His view is shared by Vox, who was always the most vocal HA opponent in the lebanese blogsphere, but is now getting mad at Israel:

Those who think that this war is against Hezbollah should check the
facts twice. I would support a war against Hezbollah, but according to
Naharnet on more than 150 attacks, only 10 directly targeted Hezbollah.
I can support a war against Hezbollah, but not against my country.
Israel has bombed Jounieh, an area where the population used to offer
food to Israeli officers in the 80's. Batroun, Halat, Tripoli and the
North have also been atacked. There’s no Shias in these areas, let
alone Hezbollah fighter - not that the presence of Shia in a
neighborhood is sufficient to make it a legitimate target.

[...]

There's no need for the IAF to bomb convoys of refugees, especially
when the airplanes are dropping leaflets telling people to evacuate –
which is already hard enough considering the state of the roads.
Hezbollah is a guerilla, they don't fight in an open terrain, they
don't move in convoys. If there’s a big spot on the radar, it won’t be
Hezbollah.

Israel’s strategy is to target the infrastructure
and inflict economic damage to the country. Israel thinks that it can
1) force the Lebanese government to act against Hezbollah 2) make the
cost of any future escalation so high that Nasrallah will think twice
before going to war. That assumes that Hezbollah actually cares about
the cost of its actions but I wouldn't bet on that, especially if Iran
is willing to fight until the last Lebanese.

Lisa mentions an interesting live exchange that took place between Al Manar TV and Israel Channel 10. 

Omar thinks that we are reaching the Point of No return:

Now let’s put ourselves in Hezbollah’s shoes. They captured two soldiers, on the basis of trading them with prisoners in Israeli jails. The capturing lead to an all out offensive on civilian and military targets in Lebanon, resulting in roughly a 100 civilian deaths and hundreds injured. The only civilian airport in Beirut was hit, plus many bridges and main roads. After all this destruction, why would Hezbollah give the Israeli soldiers back? Hezbollah reached a point of no return. They will fight until the end.

On the other hand Israel cannot afford to trade the prisoners. First,
they believe that a few weeks of fighting will exhaust Hezbollah’s
arsenal leaving them with no option but to give the soldiers back. But as Israel
waits, frustration from within will being to rise, and perhaps the
Israelis will put pressure on their government to exchange the soldiers. But even then, Israeli government will shy away from a prisoner exchange. If Hezbollah’s demands are met, then Israel will appear weaker in its enemy’s eyes. The Palestinians will use Hezbollah’s success as inspiration. Furthermore, disarming Hezbollah will become a thing of the past. After all they won the battle against Israel
again. They proved themselves worthy of beating the fourth strongest
military in the world. Why would you take disarm such a militia?

True. 

Nadz is back and she is angry at Hezbollah:

My main anger here is directed at Nasrallah and his "party of God." His
loyalty does not lie with Lebanon or its people - he's a dancing monkey
for Syria and Iran, who seem to prefer letting other countries fight
their wars for them. Makes you wonder why Israel won't go after them
directly. Perhaps the fear of making this conflict a bigger, regional
one with higher stakes.

And Amar is reminding us again, that the arab leaders who are anti-Israel (*ahem Syria ahem*) are not doing so because of brotherly love for plaestinains, or as the case is today, the lebanese. 

What would you do if you an
embattled Arab leader and suffering from major crises at home and wit
the international community and you know you simply cannot own up to
your mismanagement and your corruption, not to mention the
mismanagement and corruption of those around you? You stir up trouble
with Israel of course, knowing that your people are either stupid
enough and/or cowardly enough to play along. As such, Israel is really the best thing that has ever happened to Arab dictators. Well, that and oil, in some instances.

Confrontation with Israel is actually a win-win
development as far as Arab regimes are concerned. For, not only will it
serve to divert attention from the country’s internal problems and the
illegitimacy of the ruling regimes, their authoritarianism and their
corruption, but the inevitable military defeat,
which could always be justified as having taken place due to the
international support of Israel vis-à-vis its hapless Arab victim, and
which always provides an opportunity for the Arab leaders involved to
take a swipe at their counterparts for failing to support them, will
provide the ruling elite with a golden opportunity to fill up their
coffers with the inevitable reconstruction expenditures and contracts.

The
confrontation will also afford regime lackeys and ideologues, and some
“patriotic” opposition members the chance to rally behind the flag and
take consultation fees for their expert advice and for their help in
mobilizing the ever so fickle public. Pray,
what deal could be sweeter? What dividend can peace deliver? What sort
of rewards can reform ever harness for its champions?

As such, the climate of jubilation, and the downright giddiness, that we can currently detect among Syria’s official and unofficial spokesman for the regime is not surprising. This is the time when credentials are built, niches are staked and futures are made.
Only idiots like me who would rebuff offers of high office to join such
an amorphous, nebulous, meaningless institution as the opposition
actually risks losing. In fact, they, we, might just be doomed to lose.
What idiots!

Sigh… 

Cairo:

I am at the Airport, eating a Pepperoni Pizza, drinking an ID Edge, and openly wondering when did we become so hip at our airport that we serve aclohol, pork and have speedy free wireless internet. I am not complaining though, it's kinda sweet. But of course things have to go slightly screwy, after all, this is Egypt. First screw-up: the Duty Free shop has Visa issues since its phone line has no dialtone, so me has to pay cash for my 2 bottles of Tequila that I buy. Second Screw up: There was no assigned seating on the airplane. It was fre-seating, as in sit wherever the hell you like. The problem with that? Egyptians are not orderly people. We do not do LINES. So this become a Push and shove contest. What made things worse? This tourist group from Taiwan started to try to take us Egyptians over and get in first, so we had to decalre an un-easy truce amongst ourselves to prevent the Taiwanese from getting in. We even bribed the gate guy with a piece of choclate to tell them to back off. While he was doing so and everyone was looking, I sneaked to the first of the line. I am getting My own seating are, Beee-yotch!

Bahrain: 

Being at the Bahrain
airport is really making me kick myself in the ass for forgetting to bring my
digital camera. Man, Bahrain’s airport is psychotic: Foreigners everywhere,
their Liqueur collection at the duty free shop surpasses that of Egypt’s by
leaps and bounds, and every freakin 10 feet is a brand new luxury car that you
have a great chance to win if you join the lottery effort by paying 150 dollars
or something. And let’s not even talk about their movie section: I won’t go
over the brand new Hollywood releases, but goddamn it, they had all the
religious movies that were banned in Egypt: 
They had the 10 commandments, Richard Harris’s Moses, 2 movies named
Jesus of Nazareth, the Message, and even a couple of movies discussing the DA
Vinci code. The whole religious controversy that plagues Egypt?
Not a big deal to those people. I am guessing religious strife usually takes
the form of Sunnis vs. Shia over there. Still though, WTF? Bahrain
has all those movies and WE- the Hollywood
of the middle east and shit- ban them? Something really went screwy here.

The food at the airport is horrible though: I ate at this
fast food thing called Jamsi’s or something, and their mega mushroom was not
mega and had really horrible mushrooms. Oh, and all of Bahrain’s
airport is covered by wireless Internet by Batelco, but apparently you have to
get some card that you have to pay for in order to access it. You know what?
BATELCO SUCKS MAJOR DONKEY DICK AND I STILL THINK IT SHOULD GO DOWN . It’s war you Batelco fucks. We had free
wireless internet at the Egyptian airport, thank you very much, and we are
poorer than you. Batelco has to go down hard, man.

The plane is empty, which is sweet, because after the first plane ride all I wanted was less people, and we got that. While on the plane I see Mona Makram Ebeid coming in. This is why I love being me, I always randomly meet the most interesting poeple. I've never met her before, so I go and say hi and strike up a conversation. Upon conversing with her I realize that the rumors are true: She is on the snobby side of Life (an her make up skills suck; subtle make-up is not her thing). But then again, so is every woman politician I have met in Egypt (Remember her? The exact same look). Whatever.

Abu Dhabi:

It comes to my attention that Mona Makram Ebeid is here for the same reason that I am here, since awaiting us was an airport employee cutie with my name, her name and this name of this other dude. She had our Visas and was escorting us through the procedures. Abu Dhabi Airport is even more redicilous than the Bahrain Airport, but whatever. We reach the security area, and that's when the trouble start: Mona refuses to go through the eye-scan procedures on the grounds that she is (more like was) an MP and should be given sepcial consideration for it. She causes a scene, she insults the security, she wants the Parliament representitive in Abu Dhabi to talk to her. Oh Boy. Bitch is crazy!

The other dude and me were done, but he was screwed because they were supposed to go to the Hilton in a car together. I tell him I am staying at the Hilton as well, so it shouldn't be a problem. for I will take him with me. But that's when the cutie hands me my biggest surprise for the night: I am not staying at the Hilton, but rather at the emirates Palace, the 4 billion dollars hotel.It cost 4 billion dollars to build it. The things is out of freakin fairytales. So yeah, Mona Makram Ebeid? Stays at the Hilton. Moi? At the Emirates Palace. HA! And people wonder where my ego comes from.

Entering the hotel I thank God that I did not bring my camera with me, cause otherwise I would've totally became Mr. Japanese Tourist and would've taken pictures of everything that awed me at the Hotel and finished my memory card in the first 5 minutes. So not having it makes it easy to play the non-chalant, cool, not easily impressed person that I am. In reality, I was sooo excited I wanted to run around screaming and shit. This place is redicilous. The Floor is Marble lined with Gold, it has it's own huge private Beach, it's the size of 8 football fields. My room, which is the cheapest room here, and costing about 2400 darhems a night, is so beautiful I almost orgasmed from how awesome it was. I thought I knew luxury: I stand corrected. This is some serious Money.

Anyway, time to sleep so one can look pretty for tomorrow's conference. Have a good one. 

Are we really worlds apart ?

Here are some pictures of today's War protests :

 Policeman in plaincloths beating up a protester.

 And he keeps on kicking.

 Another protester getting arrested by plainclothed policeman.

 A woman sucrries away with her child as she witnesses another protester getting beat up.

One of the protresters tried to bite the hand of the police officer to help free his friend.

 And as you can see, he failed miserably, and his friend was held down and beat up by the police (scroll down and see the last pic. it's the same guy).

Police arresting a protester

 2 Female protesters. One has the words "No to injustice" written in arabic on her hand, while the other has Free Egypt inscribed on hers.

 The Egyptian Occupation security forces deployed and ready for action.

 Police arresting a female protester by dragging her on the street.

 The Police arresting a demonstrator, while an officer kicks another.

The Police "arresting" a demonstrator. Our Police, a syou can see, can arrest people using their hands or feet.

Sigh… 

Now, let me share with you part of this e-mail that I've received from an eye-witness in today's protests:

For better or worse, the "Gaza diet" seems to be working. We now have palestinains demonstrating against the Hamas government for refusing to change their politics for the sake of their people.

Around 1,000 people have demonstrated in the

West Bank city of Nablus over the

Palestinian Authority's failure to pay government workers' salaries, an AFP correspondent said.

"Our children are hungry," chanted some in the crowd. "We don't want our children to go hungry for political reasons."

I agree with them, and this is why this whole Gaza diet plan has troubled me, despite my support for it. Hamas needs to change its direction, or get out of office. And honetsly, I am rooting for them not to change their direction. I am rooting for them to be taken out  and brought down by the people. To be a failure. And it's not just cause they are jihady fuckheads. No, it's more selfish than that. It's because they are MB.

Hamas is the palestinain chapter of the MB (the MB-Moussad bastard child actually), which makes it the first MB government in the middle-east, which is why all eyes are on them. The MB always claim that they can govern and govern well if they get into power, and the Hamas government is their first chance to do so. If they succeed, there isn't a person in Egypt who can argue against them not being a legitimate alternative to the regime. And this is why- in my opinion- they must fail. They must fail so badly that the common MB voter would be afraid of an encore of that in Egypt. It's horrible that this is what you have to go through for that to happen, I know, but you chose them. Sorry plaestinian readers, but I care about Egypt more. Just the way it is.

The thing is though, the MB is fighting back. They know that Hamas' failure is their failure, that it wuld be used to discredit them for years to come, and they have never been closer to their dream of an islamic caliphate, so they are using the only weapon they got: Fatwas. Eenter Qaradawi, the one time candidate for MB Morshed who got denied for the fact that he doesn't live in egypt (there are rules for being the Morshed, ya know. More about that later), and his next week "support hamas" Doha meeting .

Islamic scholars are to meet in Doha next week to draw up a fatwa, or
religious edict, obliging the Muslim faithful to help the
internationally isolated Palestinian government headed by Hamas.

Influential cleric Yussef al-Qardawi said the May 10-11 meeting would
help both the Palestinian people and their government, hit hard by US
and EU funding cuts because of the Islamist faction's refusal to
recognize

Israel.

Ulemas (scholars) as well as other Muslim and Palestinian leaders will
"draw up a fatwa on the duty of the ummah (Muslims) and of governments"
toward the Palestinians and the Hamas cabinet, Qardawi told a press
conference Saturday.

The fatwa will refer to financial aid to the Palestinians as well as offering them moral support, Qardawi said.

List of attendees will include:

Exiled Hamas supremo Khaled Meshaal, Islamic Jihad chief Ramadan
al-Shalah and Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine-General
Command leader Ahmed Jibril would also attend, Qardawi said of the
radical Palestinian movements.

Lovely group of people, no?

But, you know, sometimes, I feel that this is just a waste of time. The islamic republic is coming, sooner or later, followed by that great war they all seem to want. I know that. But if it can be postponed for just one month, just one week, hell, one day, by whatever means, it would be- in my own opinion-worth it.

Oh well… 

…at arabs who attack Saudi for selling the US Oil !

You see, a nice fella from Ramallah, and I reiterate that I am in great sympathy for the situation in such perimeters,
kindly directs us to be "ashamed of being Saudi." Why is that you may
ask? Well because we should "start a movement". What kind of movement?
Why, one where we ask the government to "quit selling oil to America
real cheap"..

yeah ok. The *only* repercussions that would yield
is the thrusting of our nation all the way back to 1837 BC, but what's
that to you, right? You'll only look for another wealthy nation to
blame or to migrate to and mooch off of while you whine your ass off to
the rest of the world about how bad a country it is on your blog or
otherwise, right?… eh.. I cannot believe I am stooping to your level.
Sorry, that just had to come out. It was what it was and it had to come
out.

"You're pumping blood into their veins" he goes on to say.
Umm… yeah sure. Well, did it ever occur to you that "Saudi-pumped
USA" is full of Palestinians, we're practically pumping blood into all
kinds of veins, then… so calm down.

She is kinda right. Read it all ! 

A lot of people ranted and raved over this article in the lights of the recent poll that showed that 40% of the UK’s muslims want Sharia laws implemented in the UK. I think it’s an interesting read, and I found this part to be especially illuminating of where europe is heading.

They simply do not realise how seriously Muslims take their religion. Islamic clerics regard themselves as locked in mortal combat with secularism.

“For example, one of the fundamental notions of a secular society is the moral importance of freedom, of individual choice. But in Islam, choice is not allowable: there cannot be free choice about whether to choose or reject any of the fundamental aspects of the religion, because they are all divinely ordained. God has laid down the law, and man must obey.

‘Islamic clerics do not believe in a society in which Islam is one religion among others in a society ruled by basically non-religious laws. They believe it must be the dominant religion - and it is their aim to achieve this.

“That is why they do not believe in integration. In 1980, the Islamic Council of Europe laid out their strategy for the future - and the fundamental rule was never dilute your presence. That is to say, do not integrate.

“Rather, concentrate Muslim presence in a particular area until you are a majority in that area, so that the institutions of the local community come to reflect Islamic structures. The education system will be Islamic, the shops will serve only halal food, there will be no advertisements showing naked or semi-naked women, and so on.”

That plan, says Dr Sookhdeo, is being followed in Britain. “That is why you are seeing areas which are now almost totally Muslim. The next step will be pushing the Government to recognise sharia law for Muslim communities - which will be backed up by the claim that it is “racist” or “Islamophobic” or “violating the rights of Muslims” to deny them sharia law.

“There’s already a Sharia Law Council for the UK. The Government has already started making concessions: it has changed the law so that there are sharia-compliant mortgages and sharia pensions.

I think it has become mightily clear from the Danish experience that the people the western governments should talk to about muslim integration should NOT be the islamic clerics. But in the absence of secular muslim leaders and organizations for them to talk to, what are the western governments to do? I say that more organizations like the Democratic Muslims and the little known American Islamic Congress need to be established and contacted by the western governments, because those are your best hope for actual integration.

And please, if you are a muslim who lives in a western country and wants Sharia law implemented there, I have 3 words for you: MOVE TO SAUDI!

Ok?

Glad we cleared that one!

I have been trying to get people here to understand how this Cartoon Global Crisis will be viewed by the west, and I have found this excerpet of Christopher Hitchens latest column “the case for mocking religion” to the be the best example of just that.

Islam makes very large claims for itself. In its art, there is a prejudice against representing the human form at all. The prohibition on picturing the prophet—who was only another male mammal—is apparently absolute. So is the prohibition on pork or alcohol or, in some Muslim societies, music or dancing. Very well then, let a good Muslim abstain rigorously from all these. But if he claims the right to make me abstain as well, he offers the clearest possible warning and proof of an aggressive intent. This current uneasy coexistence is only an interlude, he seems to say. For the moment, all I can do is claim to possess absolute truth and demand absolute immunity from criticism. But in the future, you will do what I say and you will do it on pain of death.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice, which as it happens I chance to find “offensive.” ( By the way, hasn’t the word “offensive” become really offensive lately?) The innate human revulsion against desecration is much older than any monotheism: Its most powerful expression is in the Antigone of Sophocles. It belongs to civilization. I am not asking for the right to slaughter a pig in a synagogue or mosque or to relieve myself on a “holy” book. But I will not be told I can’t eat pork, and I will not respect those who burn books on a regular basis. I, too, have strong convictions and beliefs, and value the Enlightenment above any priesthood or any sacred fetish-object. It is revolting to me to breathe the same air as wafts from the exhalations of the madrasahs, or the reeking fumes of the suicide-murderers, or the sermons of Billy Graham and Joseph Ratzinger. But these same principles of mine also prevent me from wreaking random violence on the nearest church, or kidnapping a Muslim at random and holding him hostage, or violating diplomatic immunity by attacking the embassy or the envoys of even the most despotic Islamic state, or making a moronic spectacle of myself threatening blood and fire to faraway individuals who may have hurt my feelings. The babyish rumor-fueled tantrums that erupt all the time, especially in the Islamic world, show yet again that faith belongs to the spoiled and selfish childhood of our species.

As it happens, the cartoons themselves are not very brilliant, or very mordant, either. But if Muslims do not want their alleged prophet identified with barbaric acts or adolescent fantasies, they should say publicly that random murder for virgins is not in their religion. And here one runs up against a curious reluctance. … In fact, Sunni Muslim leaders can’t even seem to condemn the blowing-up of Shiite mosques and funeral processions, which even I would describe as sacrilege. Of course there are many millions of Muslims who do worry about this, and another reason for condemning the idiots at Foggy Bottom is their assumption, dangerous in many ways, that the first lynch mob on the scene is actually the genuine voice of the people. There’s an insult to Islam, if you like.

This whole stupid thing, as far as I am concerned, is a battle of the sacreds. For the muslim population, Islam and Mohamed are sacred, while for the west, Freedom of expression and speech are what’s sacred, and now the sacreds are butting heads. And while it seems for the muslim side that they are “winning”( there really is no wining here btw, only degrees of losing) for now because of the apologies that the Danes are giving, sooner or later the blowback will start in the west, and it will get really ugly for the muslim world pretty quick. So please, muslims of the world, hear me out:

Europeans, while big on tolerance and cultural understanding, are not going to tolerate the your intolerance for their way of life for long, and sooner or later they, too, will turn on you. The more you push them, especially with the kind of shit you people say at protests in their countries, the more they will start viewing you as a group of people that they can not co-exist with, and believe me, that’s not good. You think your boycott of Danish goods is smart? Wait till the EU reacts and ceases trade with every country that boycotted Denmark in return. They won’t do it to spite you; they will do it because it’s part of the EU’s trade policy and they will have no problem doing it too. You may think you are ready for this and that it wouldn’t really affect you, but you really aren’t. And this is not your biggest problem.

Your biggest problem lies in the fact that Europe has been taking your side on most conflicts so far (Palestinain Israeli conflict and the Iraq war for example) and because of this they may very well re-think their position, for very logical reasons. I mean, am I the only one who thinks that the fact that palestinain millitants are threathening to kill any Danes, french, norwegian or german people they may find in retalliation for the cartoons being printed in their country, is a little counter-productive to the efforts their leadership has been making to urge the governments of those same countries not to cut their aid and trying to assure them that the money will not go into funding terrorist attacks? Am I the only one who finds it a little funny that they are saying :”If you don’t apologize we will kill your people, but please give us aid and you have our word that it won’t go to terrorist attacks!”? You think the people in any of those countries will support giving the palestinian’s aid now? You think danish people will continue taking the palestinain’s side on this after viewing their flag repeatedly burned over and over by angry crowds because of a cartoon in one of their Newspapers? You think you are winning because you are burning cheese and boycotting LEGO? Are you people HIGH?

Rest assured that this won’t go well with them at all and it will not help any just cause you may have. If anything, you have given enough ammo to your enemies that will allow them to silence their critics-people on your side- for years and years to come. In every country whose flag you burn the parties that advocate discrimination against muslims and arabs- who are fringe minority parties- will now gain more credibility and support. You are doing your enemies the biggest favor here and you are hurting your cause and image in the process. Stop it.

The Danish newspaper has apologized repeatedly, the danish muslim community has accepted their apology. End of Story. Let it go. Get over it. Escelating this will only harm you in the end, and you don’t need the extra damage to your reputation and image. Please stop going crazy over this, because I am sick and tired of watching you lose it over a cartoon.

As I said before, the recent Sharon hospitalization is causing a weird reaction amongst arabs, with those who can’t forget his past want him dead no matter what, and those in power and hoping for peace wanting him to live. No better example exists than the current Egyptian Chief of Staff Salah Halabi, who fought against Sharon in the 1973 war and wanted him dead then and who now, more than ever, wishes that the man would live.

In 1973 as a young colonel, Salah Halabi fought kilometers from the Israeli major general who had the gumption to take his troops across the Suez Canal in a daring military operation.

Thirty-two years later, as his former nemesis, Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, lay in critical condition in a hospital bed in Jerusalem, Halabi told The Jerusalem Post that he hoped the man whom he and his men tried to kill in war would now live.

“I hope that he will return to the leadership of the state and make peace,” said Halabi in a phone conversation from his home in Cairo.

[...]

Halabi’s impression of Sharon changed recently. “I saw that he recently began to understand the international and local political situation properly - especially regarding resolving the Palestinian issue,” said Halabi, who commanded the Egyptian Forces who freed Kuwait from the Iraqi occupation. “He began to bring the political right to the center and not leave it as an extreme right.”

Like many Arabs, Halabi praised Sharon’s leadership qualities. “He is a very strong man. And Israel always needs strong leaders to make difficult decisions. Like Begin and Rabin. One who can take difficult decisions to make peace.

Halabi wants Sharon to live. “He was my enemy during the time of war. Now he is an agent for establishing peace. He is now needed to create peace in the region. Our best wishes for Mr. Sharon. May he be well.”

Hmmm…